


Worthless

by Susan19



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-11-23 21:14:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 140,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20896208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susan19/pseuds/Susan19
Summary: Directly following Graduation Day pt. 1 s3e21 - Faith doesn't fall into a coma after being stabbed by Buffy. Instead, she finds herself trapped in a situation she can't get out of.





	1. Chapter 1

**Faith**

Faith lay on the back of the truck - broken and battered. Even a little stabbed, maybe a lot stabbed. _St__abbed in the gut with my own damn knife!_ _How did I let this happen to me?_ She remembers the fight from moments ago, the feeling of the cold metal sliding into her stomach. The look on Buffy's face as she plunged the knife in. Something about that look confused Faith, what started out as rage and hatred turned into fear, sadness, and maybe confusion.

_Which one of us was she sad for? Sad that Angel might die? Sad that I might? She could have stopped me from falling off the roof, could have chased me down and fed me to Angel, but she didn't._ _She just watched me fall, just watched with that bizarre look on her face._

_I never thought she could have done that to me. OK, so I did do some pretty nasty things to her. But no one she cared about really got hurt. No one alive anyway... _She groaned in frustration, Angel had tried to help her, and she tried to kill him.

_I bet B sacrificed herself for him. She's probably in worse shape than I am right now._ _Maybe she's even dead._ This thought brought a smile to her face and lifted her spirits a little, but only for a moment. Even after everything that happened, she didn't really want Buffy to be dead. Despite what she might be trying to convince herself of. _Nah, I'm sure they'd find a way to save her, even if she did let soul-boy drain her._

_The mayor had to know there was only one cure for that poison. Could he have set me up? _She frowned, pushing away the thoughts of betrayal. She had to focus on what she was going to do now.

She groans as the pain wracks her body. She was tough, and this wasn't anything she couldn't survive. _What am I going to do once I recover from this? Who was there to trust? The guy who maybe set me up to get stabbed, or the one who actually stabbed me?_

Faith closed her eyes and tried to think of a solution. _This is insane. I never meant to hang around here anyway. I should have left right after we killed Kakistos, then none of this would have happened. I'll just find a new place to go, start fresh somewhere. There's nothing left for me in Sunnydale._

She tried to readjust her position, which caused a flash of pain, bad enough that she passed out. When she woke up some unknown time later, she had no idea where she was. She was still in the back of the truck, which was now stopped, and it was still dark. Or maybe dark again, she had no way of knowing. She wasn't quite ready to try moving yet, so she focused on what she could hear and sense around her. There was almost no noise or any movement that she could feel, she detected a few humans in the area, but no demons. There was a slight sound of traffic in the distance.

She experimentally began moving each of her appendages. So far she seemed to be in full control of her limbs, there were a few bruises and cuts, but nothing that wouldn't heal. _Time to try sitting up, this should be wicked fun_. The movement almost made her gag from the intense pain, but she was able to do it. Once she was sitting upright and leaning against the side of the truck some of the pain subsided, it became more of a dull throb. Looking down to examine the wound, she carefully peeled her shirt away so she could get a better look. The crispy dried blood flaked away from her shirt. She watched it curiously as it floated away from her. It took her a moment to remember what she was doing, focusing her attention back on the vertical wound.

_Doesn't look too bad, all things considered._ She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself and plan her next move. She thinks again about what Buffy had said about the poison. _Why would the mayor give me a poison to use on Angel that could be cured with slayer's blood? Did he want Buffy to come after me? To try to kill me?_ Faith didn't want to believe it could be true. She had been sure the mayor really did care about her.

_Who am I kidding, who could ever actually care about me? I'm nothing and no one, worthless._

Her mother's voice echoes in her head, and she cringes. She had forgotten, she had re-made herself and managed to forget. Now wasn't the time to remember, now was the time to focus on being strong.

Thinking back on everything he ever said to her and the way he treated her, she just couldn't figure it out. _He seemed so kind and caring to me, always trying to get me to be better, not swearing, being a proper lady and shit. I've never trusted anyone as easily as I trusted him. I should have known better than to think he was anything more than another person using me. That's all I could ever be. A tool. Even Buffy only used me, even when I thought we had a connection, she only ever saw me as a weapon. Nothing I did would ever be good enough for her. She'd never see me. Never!_

In a fit of rage she punched the barrel she was leaning against with a backhand thrust, denting it and causing a loud bang. _I wish I'd never come to this fucking town!_

"Hey! What are you doing back there?" A gruff male voice calls out.

_Shit! Why can't I do anything right?_

"Sorry, I'll be outta here in a sec." She attempts to reply, but her voice is weak, and she's not sure he heard her.

"You can't be back there!" The man yells again, and she sees his head pop over the edge. His eyes widen when he sees the blood on her shirt. "Are you ok? Let me call someone."

The thought of cops coming, shock her into action. There would be no way to explain her condition, and she definitely didn't want to go to a hospital. "No, don't call anyone I'll be fine. It's not as bad as it looks. Just gimme a sec to get up." Stifling a scream as she pulls herself up to standing, she walks towards the back of the truck. "See, I'm five by five." She attempts to casually hop off of the truck. The hop goes pretty well, the landing – not so much. Her legs give out on her, and she crashes into the ground with a thud and a groan.

"Damn lady, let me help you." The guy bends down to help her up. She desperately wants to resist his help, but she's too weak and in too much pain. He carefully guides her to a more comfortable seated position.

"What happened to you? Are you sure I can't call for help?" Faith attempts to hold eye contact with the man. She wants to appear confident and strong. It's then that she notices the man has a curious smirk and a glint in his eye that she doesn't like. She knows she has to get away from him as soon as possible.

"Nah, I'm good." She attempts to stand back up, and then she blacks out again.

Some unknown time later she awakens in a room she doesn't recognize. She has a clean shirt on which is raised to expose her stomach. There is a bandage covering the wound. Sounds of someone moving around in the other room reach her, she tracks the movements, trying to be aware when they were coming closer. She carefully begins the process of evaluating her body to see how badly she's hurt. Everything checks out ok until she tries to move her arms and finds she can't. Not because of the pain, but because she's restrained.

There are metal bands across her chest, arms, and wrists. There are similar bands across her hips and legs. The only movements she's allowed is to barely lift or turn her head. _What the fuck? _She senses whoever is in the house is getting closer and feigns sleep as they enter the room. _How did I manage to land on the back of a truck driven by a kidnapping weirdo? Of all the shit luck._

Faith had always wondered if her life would end this way. Her bad choices getting her stuck in a situation she couldn't possibly get out of. Once she became a slayer, her fear of being trapped had lessened, she had been confident there was nothing her slayer powers wouldn't save her from. Finding out she was wrong, killed the last bit of confidence she had been trying to cling to.

"Wakey wakey." A cheerful voice calls out to her. "I brought you some water and snacks."

Faith remains still, with her eyes held tightly shut, hoping that she is imagining this. Hoping that she'll wake up in a hospital, or even prison - anywhere would be better than this.

"Come on. I know you're awake... slayer." The last word comes out of his mouth with a snarl and is followed by wild laughter.

Faith's eyes pop open at his taunting. _How does he know about slayers? I don't sense vampire or any other demon._

"Who could have imagined my luck, finding you in the back of my truck. One in a million chance. Or I guess it was a 2 in a million chance." He continues laughing at his clever joke.

She had assumed she'd just be able to bust out of these restraints at any moment, but if he knew who she was, now she wasn't so sure. She watches him as he moves about the room, not saying anything.

"Come on? Nothing to say? I thought you slayers were supposed to be witty, always ready with a joke?"

Faith is used to things not going her way, but this was above and beyond not going her way. "You've got the wrong slayer for jokes." She scowls at the man and attempts to test the strength of her restraints without him noticing. Quickly she sees that it's pointless, the bonds are far too tight and secure. _This guy knew what he was doing. How is this possible? Is it the mayor? Who else would know someone who could do this?_

"Too bad, I do enjoy a good pun." He looks down at her, smirking. "I guess that makes you Faith." She doesn't reply, and he continues to grin at her, "Are you afraid?"

Faith tries to keep her face neutral, but she can tell by his smile that she's losing that battle.

"What are you going to do to me?" Having visions of very unpleasant things the man could do to her, she was relieved when he looked offended and backed away slightly.

"I'm not going to do anything to you." Without saying anything else, he moves closer to examine the bandage. Seemingly satisfied with his work, he nods and retrieves the water he brought. He holds a straw up for her to drink. She presses her lips together and moves her mouth away as far as she can.

"Oh, come on, why would I bother trying to poison you?"

Still, she refuses the drink.

"You need to hydrate if you're going to heal. You're of no use to me if you're not strong." He cocks his head at her, despite her wariness, she finds something about his movements disarming. He's clean cut and might almost be considered attractive if he didn't have her strapped to a table.

Her throat is burning, and she can feel that she does need the water. She doesn't know how much time has passed. It could have been days. Her resolve begins to weaken. She nods her head, indicating that she'll take the drink. After she swallowed several mouthfuls, the man again laughs.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're an idiot, Faith?" The man leers down at her, teeth showing in a disgusting toothy grin.

Watching him smiling down at her as her mind reels in terror – then her world once again goes black.

She awakens to find her hands and feet shackled together. The restraints offer her no ability to move. Not that it would matter, she's enclosed in a metal box that barely allows her enough movement to raise her head. There's no light and minimal sound. She can feel slight motion, letting her know that she must be being transported somewhere.

_This is just fucking fantastic. Why am I such an idiot? _She knows it didn't matter if she drank the liquid or not, she'd still be here. But knowing that he tricked her made her feel even worse.

She tried to relax and sense what was around her. She didn't sense anything demonic from her captor, but that didn't mean much. She tried to remember any detail that might help her out of this situation. He hadn't said a whole lot. _How could he have known about what that fake watcher said to me? _Even if she did know, that didn't help. She didn't know much about Ms. Post or where she might have come from.

_I don't think he could be part of the council. Maybe just like there is a watcher's council, there is some evil council. A group of totally insane humans who want demons to rule the earth again. They probably imagine the demons would be grateful and let them gain power of some kind._ _Idiots_. _Joining with demons never works out the way you want it to. _She frowns and leans her head against the cool metal side of the box. The irony of her last thought makes her grimace and berate herself again for being so stupid. _Buffy! This is all her fault. She did this to me._

She drifts in and out of consciousness, having no idea how much time has passed when the movement finally stops. She can hear quite a bit of noise, and her slayer sense tells her there are a lot of demonic beings in the area. She also senses something else, something she never expected to sense again. _B? How can she be here?_

She doesn't want to believe it, but she can clearly feel the other slayer is close. _Maybe they know I was captured and are here to rescue me? No, there's no way they could know about this, or that they would even try to rescue me after what I did. They probably just captured her too. Serves her right, if she wasn't so uptight neither of us would be in this mess. _She sighs and groans. _I'm sure she'll find some way to blame me for all this._

A window into her box slides open before she has a chance to even try to react, a hand reaches in with a syringe. Her world once again, goes dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Faith**

  
This time when Faith awakens she's in a strange room with no visible exits, or openings of any kind. The walls, floor, and ceiling are all smooth and white. The lighting seems to come from nowhere. The room is about the size she'd expect a prison cell to be. There is a flimsy pad on the floor that could barely be called a mattress, but nothing else that could be considered furniture. For a moment, she thinks she might be in prison. As she slowly takes in her surroundings, she discovers she's not alone. "Buffy?" She calls out to the slumped blond form. Not quite willing to approach and touch the other slayer, she stays as far away as she can without pressing herself against the wall.

Buffy slowly starts to stir and look around. "Faith? What the hell is going on? What did you do to me?"

Faith does her best to keep her composure and not let herself cringe away from the fury of Buffy. _She looks so weak and pale. She really did let Angel drink from her._ _That must be how they were able to capture her. _She can see the bite mark on Buffy's neck. There wasn't a drop of blood visible on her shirt. Faith couldn't remember what Buffy was wearing when they fought. She thought she should be able to, the image of the person who stabbed you should be seared into your mind forever. She could only remember Buffy's eyes, and the swirl of emotions they seemed to be trying to convey.

"Damn, B. You let him drink from you?" Faith grimaced and shuddered at the idea. _I never understood why she loved that vampire so much. Sure he's cute, but he's a vampire, we're supposed to kill vampires. Plus there's the whole curse thing. It's not like they can actually be together._

Buffy's fear drops away from her face, and now it's only anger she's showing. "I had to! Because of what you did!" She starts to rise and charges at Faith, grabbing her by the jacket and pulling her to standing. When Faith makes no motion to defend herself or her actions, Buffy slows down and seems to reevaluate their situation. "Wait, why are you here? And where is here?"

"Both good questions - same answer, I dunno. I thought maybe this was prison or some council thing, but why would they capture you?" Buffy releases her grip and Faith slumps back against the wall, trying to find her usual level of confidence and bravado, but too worn out for it to work.

Buffy looks Faith over thoughtfully, "How did you end up here?"

"When I fell off the roof – after you – ya know... tried to kill me... I landed on this truck." Buffy's harsh glare drops slightly, Faith continues, attempting to ignore the possible look of concern. "I thought I was going to be okay, but then it turned out the driver of the truck knew who I was somehow. He drugged me and took me here."

Faith could see the suspicion in Buffy's eyes and who could blame her for doubting the story.

"A human was able to kidnap you?"

"I was kinda damaged from this -" She opens her jacket and lifts up her shirt to show the knife wound that had stopped bleeding but wasn't entirely healed. The bandage at some point had been removed, exposing the raw, pink wound. She can see Buffy's expression change. _Was that guilt? Nah, what does B have to feel guilty about? She had no choice. She had to save her boy. _"How did you end up here?"

"I don't remember anything after I went to Angel." Buffy frowns and rubs the wound on her neck. From what Faith could see, it looked almost completely healed. _Maybe a week has passed, with how healed with both are. Whatever was going to happen with the Mayor must be over by now. _Faith frowns, not willing to feel sad for the passing of the demon she somehow let herself fall into league with.

"Do you think you saved him?" Faith wasn't sure why she asked, but she needed to know.

"Do you care?" Buffy spat her response back with venom.

Faith winced at the harsh words but doesn't respond to the question. She does care, the moment the arrow left her bow she knew everything she had done was a mistake. She had been bitter that Angel tricked her, let that fuel her need for revenge. Once she had done it though, an ache began to grow in her heart. She couldn't take any of it back though, couldn't undo the damage she had done. _If only I hadn't gotten away, she would have fed me to him, and neither of us would be trapped here right now._

"What do you think they plan to do to us?" Buffy asks, her eyes firmly focused anywhere that wasn't Faith.

_She can't even look me in the eyes – maybe she does feel guilty. _Faith watches the blonde slayer as she examines their surroundings, part of her still wary that Buffy might attack her again. She wasn't sure she had it in her to try and fight back.

"No idea. The guy who took me taunted me a little, but he didn't tell me anything." Faith pauses, "The gang will be looking for you though, right? They'll probably be here any minute."

"Yeah, maybe. Though they might be dealing with the mayor. It was almost graduation. They might not have the time to go looking for me." Buffy responds, staring hard at Faith.

"I'm pretty sure whatever was going to happen with the mayor already has. Slayer healing is great, but this is more than one day's worth of healing." She motions to her stomach.

"That's just great. My friends had to do my job because of you!"

Faith's heart sinks, she slides to the floor and draws her knees to her chest. Wrapping her arms around them to make herself as small as possible. Her face tucked down as she fights off the tears. _How could I have screwed things up so badly? I never wanted things to end up like this. I was supposed to be something better when I came to Sunnydale._

"B.. I.."

Buffy cuts her off before she can get out her words. "I don't want to hear anything you have to say right now. We have to figure out how we're going to get out of here. Then we can go back to trying to killing each other."

"Yeah, ok." Faith whispers in reply. She's so confused and broken down - she doesn't have the will to even try to stick up for herself.

Buffy sighs and slides down to the floor as far away from Faith as she can get.

After what seems like several more hours the lighting dims. "I guess that means it's time to sleep?" Buffy looks over at Faith who only nods in response. Neither slayer attempts to claim the mattress, they each curl up where they are against the cell walls. Neither of them would be able to sleep anyway. There was just too much to think about. _I can feel her eyes on me now. She's probably afraid I'm going to attack her while she sleeps. Or maybe she's planning to attack me. I hope she does, then only one of us will have to deal with whatever these demons have planned._

After only about an hour, the lights flare up even brighter than before, and a loud bell begins to sound. The slayers attempt to cover their ears and eyes and cower against the noise. Mercifully it only lasts a few minutes. The sound cuts out, and the lights dim to a more reasonable level. A small portal opens in one of the walls, and some bottles of water are thrown through. Neither slayer makes a move to reach for them.

"This won't be like last time, Faith – we need you to have your strength for what's to come." A loud voice echoes through the strange room. It's not the same voice as her kidnapper, but she does vaguely recognize it.

Buffy looks over questioningly. "My kidnapper tricked me into drinking some drugged water." She replies, attempting to hide the shame she felt over what happened. "Ah, Fuck it." Faith grabs one of the bottles and tosses the other over to Buffy. "Let me drink from mine first, that way at least we won't both get jacked up."

Buffy nods at this. _Glad to see she's willing to accept my sacrifice, at least there's no doubt that she still thinks she's better than me. _Faith takes a few sips of her drink and leans back against the wall. Suddenly she starts to shake uncontrollably and make frothy sounds with her throat.

"Faith!" Buffy runs over to help her, only to find Faith is now laughing hysterically.

"I never knew you cared so much, B." Faith continues laughing and wipes the drool off her chin.

"You're an ass." Buffy grunts and returns to her corner of the cell, slumping back down to the floor.

"Gotta find the fun in this hell-hole somehow. " She continues grinning, quite pleased with herself. Antagonizing Buffy reminded her of a time when things were better. This is who she wanted to be, the fun-having rogue slayer. She was brash and always having a good time, never worried about what other people thought or the consequences of her actions. _I'm surprised she reacted the way she did. Probably just doesn't want to be alone with my rotting corpse in this cell._

After several more moments, Buffy finally drinks some of her own water.

Faith finished her drink and began playing with the bottle it came in, making a crinkly sound with the plastic.

"Are you trying to drive me insane before the demons get down to business?" Buffy snaps.

Buffy's irritation just spurs Faith on. "What? Is this annoying?" She continues to crinkle the plastic bottle with an evil glint in her eye.

In a flash, Buffy is across the room and attempting to take the bottle away. While Faith is giggling and using her slightly superior height to keep it just out of reach, all the while crinkling the bottle. Ignoring the pain in her stomach as she stretches.

Buffy eventually gives up and backs away.

"Why do you get so much joy from causing pain?"

Faith is a little shocked by this serious question. "Aw come on, I'm just messin' around."

"It's not like it's just right now, this moment, that you act like this. You've acted this way since I've known you."

Faith loses her smirk, a pang of regret turning it into a frown. "I was never trying to hurt you, or anyone else."

"Poisoning Angel wasn't trying to hurt anyone?"

"Oh, well yeah.. then.. but that wasn't from the first time we met. You kicked me out of your little gang, and I had to find a new one."

"I never kicked you out of our group. You didn't give us a chance to help when you k-"

"When I what? When I killed that guy? Come on, B. You didn't like me from the start, and you know it. Afraid you weren't the baddest chick around anymore. I could see how you looked at me."

"That's not true." Buffy's reply is weak, and she can't look into Faith's eyes as she says it.

"Right, sure it's not." Faith crosses her arms and leans back into the wall.

They sit in silence for who knows how long.

Faith starts to get a little stir crazy. Maybe the drugs are finally totally out of her system now, but something has changed. She begins pacing around the cell, not at all sure what to do with herself. "Will you fuckers hurry up and do whatever it is that you're going to do!" She's screaming that phrase over and over until she finds herself tackled to the ground.

_What the hell was that?_ She looks to find that it was Buffy who slammed her into the ground and is now attempting to cover her mouth with her hand while also keeping her pinned to the floor.

"Shhhh."

"Get... off.. of.. me." Faith grunts as she struggles to free herself. After several minutes of futile thrashing, she finally settles down, her energy burned off.

She feels Buffy relax a little and goes to shove her off until she notices that Buffy's breathing has become steady. _Did she fall asleep? What in the hell is going on?_ Not sure what to do, she opts to just stay like this. _Maybe there were drugs in the water after all. _She doesn't let herself notice the change in their slayer connection. The odd tingling sensation that was always present is stronger now, and instead of making her more alert, it brings comfort and relaxes her. It doesn't take long until she drifts off to sleep herself.

"Well isn't that the cutest thing I've ever seen." The disembodied voice blares into the cell, shocking both slayers awake. When Buffy sees where she is her eyes go wide, and she shoots across the room as fast as possible. Faith only grimaces as she sits up, her body stiff from lying in an awkward position.

"Sorry about, um, tackling you. You were just driving me insane." Faith is relieved that Buffy doesn't mention their cuddling session. As weird as it was, she had enjoyed it. Now that Buffy was further away, the warmth and comfort she had felt was starting to fade. She wondered if Buffy felt it too, but wasn't going to ask her about it.

"No worries, B. Maybe the whole point of this is to drive us insane, seems to be working pretty well so far."

As they return to silence, a new portal opens, and this time a knife is thrown through. A knife very familiar to both of them. Both slayers stand up, staring at the weapon. The weapon that was very recently used by Buffy to stab Faith.

Faith slowly approaches, not wanting to freak Buffy out. Though she's not entirely sure why she doesn't want to freak her out. She reaches down and lifts the weapon up, inspecting it. There is dried blood visible on the blade. _My blood._ She grimaces and shakes her head as she thinks about what happened. With one sudden and violent movement, she hurls it at the wall furthest from Buffy.

Both slayers are shocked to see the weapon has stuck to its hilt into the wall. Faith stalks over to it and attempts to pull it out, but it won't budge. She's pulling with all her strength on the hilt. "Why.. won't .. you .. come.. out!" She grunts at the exertion, ignoring the slight tearing feeling in her stomach.

She's so engaged in what she's doing that she doesn't notice Buffy come over to help. Each slayer has a grip on the handle, and they pull with all their strength. Still, it won't budge. After a few moments, Buffy gives up and backs away. Faith's fury returns, and she begins kicking at the handle, hoping to wiggle it free. She does this for several minutes before she gives up and drops back down to the floor. She's so lost and confused that she doesn't even realize she's sobbing until she feels Buffy has returned to her side and is attempting to hug her.

The contact shocks her back into awareness, this time, she doesn't want the comfort the connection brings her. She pushes Buffy away and stands up. Pacing around the small space frantically, her head is swirling with emotions that she can't handle. _Why the hell is she trying to hug me? You don't stab people and then try to hug them! Maybe this is all some kind of trick, and she's not really Buffy._ Faith narrows her eyes, looking closely at the blonde slayer and reaching out with her senses. _Sure feels like her though._


	3. Chapter 3

**Buffy**

Buffy watches Faith anxiously pacing around the cell. She sat in confusion at why Faith pushed her away and why she was even trying to comfort her in the first place. Now that they are trapped here, and Buffy is left with no distractions, she finds herself trying to empathize with Faith.

For the first time, taking a moment to consider what her life might have been like. _How could we have let her stay in that motel all by herself? She's just a kid, where did she even get the money to pay for it? _It shocks her more than a little that none of this ever occurred to her before. She thought of herself of a compassionate person, but how could that be true if she never even tried to help Faith?

She's wrapped up in her thoughts and not paying attention until she realizes that Faith has been talking as she paces.

"I can't believe I fell for his act. He was using me all along, and I just let him. I should have known he was going to betray me." Faith sighs and drops to the floor. Buffy finds her heart aching for the pain she sees in the younger slayers face. She's still not sure this isn't all a trick. _Faith is evil. She's a murderer. She tried to kill Angel._ Watching the distress in Faith's face makes it harder to focus on those things. _I can't believe she would let me see her so emotional, even if she was up to something._

_What am I supposed to do now? Try to convince her that it's not her fault that the evil demon guy was evil? Pointing out that she's right, that this is her fault – doesn't seem like a fabulous idea. We need to work together if we're going to survive this._

"We don't even know that the mayor has anything to do with this."

"It's gotta be him, who else would know about that knife? And the poison, he must have set me up."

_She has a point. Very few people would know about her connection to that knife. The mayor had to know the cure for that poison he gave her. _"I don't know, but look. We have to keep it together if we're going to survive this mess."

"We? Survive? Aren't you the one who was just trying to kill me? Why do you care if I survive whatever this is?"

_I don't care, not one bit. If you hadn't sided with the mayor and poisoned Angel, we wouldn't be here right now. If you had never come to Sunnydale, everything would be better. Nope, can't say any of that._ She covers her face with her hands and sighs, trying to keep her voice calm and even. "Believe it or not, I do care about you." _Do I care about her? How am I supposed to convince her I care when I don't even know what I'm feeling?_

"Right, and that's why you can't even look at me."

"Of course I can't look at you! You killed someone. You tried to kill Angel! You threatened Willow – and the way you treated Xander... Let's not forget that you sided with a demon who was trying to ascend and kill everyone at graduation!" She pauses a moment to compose herself. "You were supposed someone I could have been close to."

_Where did that last part come from? I never wanted to be close to Faith. Why am I even trying to be nice to her? She's evil. She tried to kill my friends. There was never anything about her that I liked or wanted anything to do with. Right?_

**Faith**

"Whatever, I know what I did." _Someone she could have been close to? What the hell is that? All she ever did was push me away. Maybe she's still drugged up. It would explain why she fell asleep on me too._

"Maybe you know what you did, but do you have any idea why you did any of it?"

Faith scowled and looked away. _You hurt me. Everyone wanted me to be more like you. But I could never be good enough to be like you. I always make the wrong choices._

"I guess I'm just evil. Right? What other reason could there be?"

_I wanted to be part of something. I'd never really belong with you or your friends, no matter what I did. The mayor made me feel important, even if it was a lie. It felt good to think someone gave a shit about me._

"I don't think you're evil. I think you're lost." Buffy barely whispers.

Both slayers sit back down against their respective walls and hang their heads. Neither feeling very good about themselves or each other at the moment.

"Faith?"

"What?" Faith snipes in response. _Why can't she just leave me alone? Why did we have to get trapped together?_

"Can you sense anything outside? It doesn't seem like there are any demons out there anymore. You don't think the mayor lost, and then they left us here, do you?"

"That'd be just fantastic." Faith rolls her eyes and groans at the thought.

"If the mayor did lose, maybe the gang will be able to find us now."

Y_eah right, no one is coming. We're going to die down here. I'm going to die trapped with this uptight bitch who treated me like shit from the moment we met. _Faith says nothing, just crosses her arms and stares at the wall.

Several more hours pass, there have been no new portals, no sounds, or other changes.

"We can't just sit around here and wait for death. There has to be some way to get out of here."

Faith gets up and starts to work on the knife again. This time she tries pushing up and pulling down, and it starts to wiggle a little. Triumphantly, she pulls it free and holds it up to show Buffy. "At least we don't have to starve to death now." She says with a wink.

"What!" Buffy's eyes widen, and she presses herself against the wall.

"You need to chill out. Like you said, we can't go back to trying to kill each other until we get out of here." She takes the knife and begins working on slicing away at the opening left behind. The material won't actually cut, all she can do is wiggle the knife attempting to widen the opening. She continues to work for several more minutes and sighs in frustration. The ornate double blade is not at all the right tool for this type of work.

"Here, let me work on it for a little while." Buffy gets up and takes the knife from Faith without actually looking at her. "What do you think this stuff even is? It's not like anything I've ever seen before. I wish Giles were here. He'd know what to do. Or really, if I'm wishing for things, us not being here would probably be the better thing to wish for."

Faith silently watches the blonde slayer work and babble about nonsense while she does it. _She said "us" as in both of us not being here._

"B?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, do you think we could have gotten past what happened? That we could have been friends?" _Why did I just ask that? She hates me and thinks I'm evil. She never took any time to try and understand me._

Buffy pauses and stops working on the opening. She looks down at the knife in her hands. "I'd like to think so. It was an accident."

"It's too late now though, isn't it?" _What difference does it make? We're going to die down here. Even if we do get out, there's no way things between us can ever be OK. Not after all the mistakes I've made._

**Buffy**

_Too late to be friends? I'd say so. As soon as we're out of here, I'm going to... something.. I don't know what I'm going to do. Things would have been easier if I had killed her. _Buffy shakes her head at that thought. Knowing it isn't true at all. As soon as she felt the blade slide in, she knew she was making a terrible mistake. _If Angel had been allowed to help her, if that evil watcher hadn't have come. If if if..._

"I don't know if it's too late. First, we have to find a way out of here. Then we can figure it out."

"Right." Faith crosses her arms and frowns as she sits slumped against the wall.

Buffy continues to dig at the opening, making very little progress. It might not be the way out of here, but at least it's something to do.

"B?" Faith pauses, while Buffy looks over at her. "I've done things you might not know about. That deputy mayor wasn't the only human I killed."

Buffy frowns slightly at this confession. _We suspected that she might have gotten to that volcano guy. I had hoped it wasn't true._ _Why is she telling me this now?_

"It was some science guy – the mayor didn't even tell me why, and I didn't ask. Why would I have done that if I wasn't evil?" Faith is staring at her hands as if wondering who they belong to and how they could have done the things they did.

_How is she managing to make me feel bad for her and her crazy murdering ways? It's not like it's my fault she turned out this way. Is it? I tried to be supportive after the accident with the deputy Mayor. She told me she didn't care, that it didn't mean anything that she ended a human life. She's just feeling guilty now because she was tricked and now we're trapped. Right?_

"Not sure why I told you about that, guess it doesn't matter now."

"Why do you always put up such a front? Why can't you ever say how you really feel about something?" Buffy turns to Faith and sees her slumped against the wall. An expression of sadness and regret plastered on her face. Buffy has never seen Faith showing any kind of emotion like this before. _If only things could have been different between us. I know there's a real person in there somewhere._

Buffy's eyes drop as she watches Faith crumble before her._ I didn't mean to hurt her. I don't know why everything has to always be so heated and difficult between us._

**Faith**

_A good_ _ question – why can't I ever say how I really feel? Maybe because I've been terrified my whole life? I can't admit to that, can't show weakness. Can't survive on your own if you're weak. There's no way I can explain that though. She'd never be able to understand what it's like in the real world. Where no one gives a shit about you. As hard as her life has been, she's never truly been alone. She's felt like she was alone, shouldering her slayer burden. But it isn't true. There's always been someone there to support her, even if she didn't see it._

"I guess it's always been easier this way." _Feeling things just means you can be hurt._

"Isn't that incredibly lonely?"

Faith hangs her head. _Lonely, I've been alone my whole life. I don't even know what it means not to be lonely._

Instead of replying, Faith gets up and takes over the work of digging fruitlessly at the opening.

**Buffy**

An unknown amount of time passes for the slayers. They alternate working on the opening with the knife, even though they are making no progress. Buffy is watching Faith work and trying to figure out how things could have been done differently. _What could I have done to avoid ending up where we are now? Not just stuck in this cell, but the animosity between us. We are both slayers. We should have been friends._

_"Buffy?"_

"Willow!"

Faith turns around, "Have you lost it? Nobody is here."

"I heard her, in my head, I think."

_"Buffy, are you ok? Where are you."_

"Yeah, we're ok, I don't know where we are, though."

_"We?"_

"Faith is here with me. She thinks maybe the mayor set us up."

_"Are you sure she's on your side?"_

"Yes, I'm sure. How long have we been here? Did you stop the mayor?"

_"We did stop the mayor." _There is a long pause, _"you've been gone for a few months."_

"A few months! It hasn't felt anywhere near that long, maybe a day or two." Buffy sighs, she's not sure if it's better or worse that time moves slower in this cell. _If it took a few months to find them, they'd probably be dead by now_. "Can you get us out of here?"

_"We're working on it, be in touch soon."_


	4. Chapter 4

**Faith**

_We? Us? Again she talks like there is a "we." I know we can never be friends or even anything other than enemies. They'll probably ship me off to some council prison as soon as we're out of here. That's if I'm lucky. The mayor is dead. She didn't say out loud what Willow said, but I'm sure he is. Maybe he would have protected me, but now I have no one. The council might just decide it's time for a new slayer._

"Are they going to be able to get you out of here?" Faith asks after a few moments of silence.

"They don't know where we are yet, but they're trying."

Faith grunts and returns to her work on the knife.

"Seems like you can stop doing that now, it wasn't working anyway."

"Got nothing else to do." Faith shrugs and continues to poke pointlessly at the wall.

"You could try talking to me."

"And what would be the point of that? What do we have to talk about?" Faith turns to face Buffy, the knife gripped tightly in her clenched fist.

"How about what you want to do after we're out of here?"

Faith laughs at the idea. "What I want to do? I don't think it's up to me. There's no way the council will let me get away this time. I'm going to be locked up for the rest of my life. Or maybe they'll decide it's time to call a new slayer."

"You really think the council would – kill you?" Buffy's face scrunches in a sour expression.

_Why is she cringing at the idea of them killing me? Wasn't she just willing to kill me yesterday?_

"Sure, why not? I'm an evil murderer, what other choice do they have?" Faith shrugs as if this is a foregone conclusion. She'll never be anything other than trash.

"There has to be some other way."

"Why does there have to be? And who's to say that when I get out of here, I don't just go after you and your friends? Nothing has changed, we're still enemies. You still hate me."

"I never hated you, Faith."

"Coulda fooled me. Usually, stabbing someone isn't a sign of un-hate."

Faith looks over to see a confusing look of sadness on Buffy's face, the same look that was there as the knife plunged in. Faith sighs and turns back to the wall. _This is all so dumb. Why can't she just back off? We could never be friends. She's too self-involved to think about anybody but herself. I just know she looks down on her so-called friends. They're not as good as her, and she knows it. That's why she hates me. She knows I'm just as good as she is. She sees how much I enjoy being the slayer, and she's jealous. I'd be so much better off if she'd stayed dead._

**Buffy**

Buffy stifled a shudder, closing her eyes and trying not to remember what it was like to stab Faith. What it felt like to see the blood falling through Faith's fingers. _I don't even know who I was when I came after her. I was willing to end another person's life to save a vampire. I was going to kill a person I actually care about. I don't understand how I could have gone that far. Maybe that's what it was like for Faith with the mayor. Maybe she felt like she had no other choice._

"I'm sorry." Buffy's voice is barely a whisper. She's filled with confusion and regret. She was always so sure of herself and her choices. Now nothing makes sense.

"What?"

Buffy stands up to face Faith, finally able to look into the rogue slayer's eyes. "I'm sorry for .. stabbing you."

Faith just laughs and turns back away.

_I'm not sure what response I was hoping for there, something more than that for sure._

"I'm sorry if you thought I hated you. I admit I was not as welcoming as I could have been when you first arrived. I should have..."

"Should have what exactly? Are you trying to take the blame for all the evil shit I've done?" Faith is enraged now. She's yelling while approaching Buffy and still holding the knife. "My actions are my own. You aren't responsible for them."

Buffy's eyes are wide now, looking at the knife in Faith's hand.

Faith sees Buffy's fear and rolls her eyes. "I'm not going to attack you." She drops the knife and walks back to the other wall, sliding to the floor.

"I'm just trying to tell you that maybe I understand how you could have done the things you did. That I don't think you're evil." _Why does this have to be so hard? She can't even accept when I'm trying to be nice to her. Though I guess telling someone you don't think they're evil isn't exactly nice._

"Great, I'm so glad you don't think I'm evil."

"Faith! Don't you want to be..."

"Be what? Be good? Be like you? All self-righteous and always doing the right thing?"

"Don't you want to be happy?" The look of shock on Faith's face, as if she's never even considered that she could be happy stunned Buffy into silence.

**Faith**

_Happy? Is she serious? My entire life has been about surviving. Happiness was never something I even thought about. _Faith only scoffed in response, once she overcame her initial shock of the ridiculous question.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have…."

"No, you shouldn't have. You don't know anything about me." Faith stands up and begins pacing again. "You never asked me a single question. You were too busy being jealous of me for stealing your thunder."

"That's not..."

"Bullshit. That's exactly what it was. I could see how you reacted when you saw your friends wanted to hear my stories. And yeah, I told them some good stories. But you should have wanted to know more about me too. You should have tried harder." Faith is furious now, yelling in Buffy's face. Buffy is only looking up sadly at Faith. The look of sadness is only making Faith angrier.

"You're right. I should have tried harder. But you're wrong about why I didn't." Buffy covered her mouth after she said this as if that would somehow take the words back.

"Oh, really? Care to share your reason with the rest of the class?" Faith has a cocky grin on her face. Guessing that Buffy is panicking about what she just said. Wondering what the big secret could be.

**Buffy**

_Oh god. Why did I say that? I didn't mean to say that. She could be right. It was just jealousy. I was just being a stupid jealous girl. Mad because the new slayer was cooler than me, mad because she was getting so much attention. What would be so wrong with that? Why does there have to be another reason?_

"I..."

"Come on, B. Spit it out. Was it that you were afraid to find out that you were just as dark as I am?"

_Another perfectly good reason. That could be why right? She was having so much fun, and I was so uptight. That's a great reason to have not wanted to get too close to her. It's definitely not that I felt a strange attraction to her, one that I didn't understand or even admit to myself. Not until that night on the roof, not until I almost killed her did I realize what all those feelings were. How can I possibly explain that? There is no chance she won't use that to torment me._

Buffy turns away, facing the wall. She's trying to find her strength, but she can't do it while looking at Faith. Looking at Faith confuses her and makes her feel weak in ways she never imagined. "I guess I don't trust myself around you." _What am I doing? There's no point in telling her this. It only ends in pain._

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You make me feel things that I don't understand." _This is a mistake. I'm just making being trapped in here even harder. There's no way she's going to feel the same way. I just tried to kill her. All I ever did was try to push her away._

"Because I take what I want?"

"Yeah, that's part of it. Also, because you seem to know what it is that you want."

"You don't know what you want?" Faith's harsh tone softens a bit.

Buffy is shaking now, still facing the wall. _What am I hoping for here? We're stuck in this cell. We're stuck with the choices we've made. Even if I can admit what it is that I want, it's not like I could ever have it. There's no way we can start all over, we both said and did things that we can never take back._

**Faith**

_What the hell is this? Is she saying what I think she's saying? I always flirted with her, but that was just to try to get some kind of reaction. I never meant anything by it. Not that I didn't think about us being together from time to time. How could I not? But seriously? I never imagined for a second that she'd be interested in me. Doesn't matter now, though. We're going to die down here. Even if we do get out of here, she did try to kill me. It's not like I can just forget that._

"I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but none of it matters now. We're trapped in here. Even if we do get out, I'm in jail or dead."

"Now it's my turn to call bullshit. It totally matters." Buffy finally turns around and faces Faith.

"I didn't even know you could swear."

"There are all kinds of things you don't know about me."

"I'm getting that." Faith looks at Buffy and leans back against the wall. "So, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm not sure what I'm trying to say."

"Am I supposed to believe that you treated me the way you did because what? Because you liked me? Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?"

"Don't you think that I know it's insane? Things made a lot more sense before."

"If any of this is true, you did a good job of hiding it. I certainly had no idea."

Buffy frowns and looks at the ground, "I didn't realize that was why until…"

"Until when?"

"Until I stabbed you."

"You have lost your mind completely."

"Probably. I don't know why I said anything, I just… wanted..." Buffy covers her hands with her face, unable to say anything else.

Faith pushes herself off the wall to move closer to Buffy, not quite in her personal space, but pretty close. "What is it? You wanted to get down and dirty with me?" Faith watches Buffy's face scrunch up at the crudeness. It only made Faith smile wider. "Is that what it was?" She moves closer, holding eye contact with the smaller slayer.

"Faith, what are you doing?" Buffy barely whispers as she watches Faith stalk towards her.

"I'm not doing anything. Is there something you want me to be doing?" _OK, this is way too much fun. Maybe a little mean, but what does it matter now? She's out of her mind if she thinks there could ever be something between us. I know what she thinks of me. Or maybe that's what she wants? She likes 'em dark and damaged. _Faith grins as she watches Buffy squirm beneath her gaze.

"No.. I.. " Buffy stammered, backing away from Faith, who only follows, still keeping a short distance between them. Buffy's back bumps into the wall and Faith places her hands on the wall to either side of her head.

"No? Are you sure? I can't blame you for wanting to get with me. I mean, come on, just look at me." Faith backs away to show off her impressive body.

"You're so full of shit."

"Again with the swearing."

"You're only doing this to get me to react, to push you away. That way, you can be in control, even if I reject you."

"I hate to burst your bubble, princess. Oh, wait, no, I don't." Faith leers at Buffy eyes gleaming with hatred. "I have no interest in you. You're way too tightly-wound and not to mention you don't have the exactly have the right equipment."

Buffy only sputters, unable to speak. Something about her shattered look sparks rage in Faith.

"You don't know anything about me!" Faith screams in Buffy's face, hating how all of this is making her feel. She doesn't want to feel anything, even if it might be good. All feelings end in pain. If she lets herself feel this, she'll have to feel everything else. She'll have to remember the blood on her hands and how it felt to be the person who did those terrible things. It's not worth it, not even for Buffy.

"You're right. I don't know anything about you. Some of that is my fault, but some of it is yours too. You don't want me to know anything real about you. I might get close to you. I might be someone who could actually care about you, and that terrifies you."

Faith bursts out laughing and then composes herself, her face hardening as she does her best to be the person she knows everyone expects her to be. "Let's not forget the biggest reason I could never be with you!" She lifts her shirt to expose the wound. Her earlier stretching had caused it to open and bleed. The blood had caked on her shirt and lifting it tugged at the scab, causing fresh blood to spill from the wound. Faith grimaced against the pain and Buffy reached out tentatively, her eyes full of sadness. Faith smacked the hand away a lot more forcefully than she needed to. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

Buffy backs away, pain and fear in her eyes, but she's not crying.

Faith's face hardens further, irritated that she's not getting more of a reaction. She stalks towards Buffy now. Her eyes piercing and full of anger. Buffy's posture is relaxed, but Faith knows she would be ready to fight as soon as Faith made a move. Faith's fists are balled up, her body is rigid and filled with fury.

Buffy's eyes are soft and locked on Faith's, "Don't you feel a connection to me?" Faith frowned a little at the question. "Whenever we're near each other, I feel..."

"That's just the slayer bond, it doesn't mean anything." Faith cut her off, but calmed slightly, her posture relaxing. She did feel a connection, she just didn't want to think about it. Thinking about it would admit to having feelings about something. She had put a lot of effort into not feeling anything

"I don't think that's what it is. I didn't feel like this around Kendra. I could sense her, similar to vampires. But this is different. I guess you don't feel it the same way." Buffy frowns but keeps her eyes trained on Faith.

"Nope."

"I don't believe you." Buffy's tensed up again. Staring at Faith, her fists clenched at her side.

Faith only shrugs.

"Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't you accept that maybe I do care about you?"

"Accepting isn't the problem. I just don't care whether you do or not."

"You are such a liar. I know you care, I've seen it."

"You don't know shit about me."

"Fine, then tell me something."

"What, you want to know my story? I should tell you how daddy ran away, and mommy never loved me?" Faith pauses, hoping to see shock on Buffy's face. She's disappointed when there is none. Buffy only stares calmly back. "I don't need your pity."

"Wasn't planning on giving you any."

Faith's eyes narrow. "Can whatever this is be over now? I'd like to just die in silence if that's ok with you."

"It's not ok with me. Nothing about this is ok with me."


	5. Chapter 5

**Buffy**

Buffy's confession went both better and worse than she had expected. The rejection wasn't at all surprising, but it did hurt like hell. She knew there had at least been a chance that Faith would have gotten angry and maybe tried to attack her. She had been relieved that they were able to get through it with just talking. She knew Faith was lying about their connection. It just wasn't possible that it was totally one-sided.

Buffy shakes her head, at a complete loss of what to do or say. _Does it even matter now? It's not like we can be friends after everything that's happened. She's killed people, I tried to kill her. Things can never be how they should have been. If only it hadn't taken me so long to figure out why everything was so difficult between us._ She sighs and scrunches her face, sliding back down to the floor. Not_ that I think she would have returned the feelings, but maybe I wouldn't have pushed her away, maybe we wouldn't have become enemies. At the least, I wouldn't have tried to kill her._

"We all make choices, Faith."

"What the hell does that mean? There's a whole lotta shit that happened to me that I had no choice about. Like being stuck here with you."

"But you did make this choice, you chose to turn against me. You decided to hate me and believe that you couldn't trust me. If you had chosen differently, we wouldn't be here right now."

"I just knew you'd blame this shit on me."

"It's not about blame. It's not about who's fault any of this is. I just mean we don't even realize what the consequences of our choices will be until it's too late." Buffy pauses, unsure of what she's even trying to accomplish by talking about any of this. "If it's anyone's fault that we're here, it's mine. Or at least that you are. If I hadn't... with Angel... Kendra would never have died, and you wouldn't have been called."

"Oh, I see, you won't give me any pity because you're throwing your own pity party." Faith is grinning now, but Buffy is too tired to find it charming at the moment.

"Whatever, I'm ready for the dying in silence to start now." Buffy frowns and leans her head against the wall, closing her eyes, hoping that if she closes them long enough she'll wake up somewhere else.

"It's always about you, isn't it? It was a terrible idea when I wanted to die in silence, but now you're all about it." Faith seems to be trying to lighten the mood, in her own bizarre way.

"Right, I'm a princess. Everything is about me, of course. Just leave me alone."

"Kinda hard to do that, there's not a lot of entertainment in here."

"I don't think I have the energy to entertain you." Buffy lays down on the pad and curls up into a ball, her back turned to Faith. She begins to quietly sob. _I've done so many things wrong. If I had tried harder to get to know her from the start, we wouldn't be here right now. _She's shocked out of her thoughts by the presence of Faith laying down beside her, wrapping her arm tentatively around her.

"What are you doing?" Buffy finally manages to ask once she recovers from how good it feels to have Faith touch her in a non-battle to the death kind of way. The slayer bond they share, causing a pleasant buzzing sensation.

**Faith**

"I dunno, trying to comfort you, I guess?" Faith replies, very confused to realize she doesn't know what she's doing. "Sorry." She starts to pull away, but Buffy grabs her arm and stops her.

"No, please stay." Faith settles back down. "Thank you." The slayers lay in silence for a few moments.

"Did you really mean what you said.. about my equipment?" Buffy asks quietly.

Faith laughs and moves away. "Are you seriously asking me that right now? After everything? That's what you're wondering about?"

Buffy shrugs and rolls to her back. "You were always so flirty and touchy-feely... I just assumed that you might be into that sort of thing."

Faith sits up and leans against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest and looking down at Buffy. "I'm pretty sure being trapped in here has made you insane."

"Maybe, but what does it matter now? Why not just answer?"

"I thought we were working on dying in silence."

"It's taking too long." Buffy is pouting now, which Faith can't help but be amused by.

_Should I tell her? Tell her that I'm not who she thinks I am? _Faith blows out a breath and runs her hands through her hair. She's not ready to drop her carefully crafted bad girl persona, it's her armor against the world, and she still needs it. "I'm sure your equipment is just fine."

Buffy frowns but seems to accept this non-answer and rolls back onto her side facing the wall. After a few moments, she rolls onto her back again. Her arms crossed over her face, covering her eyes.

"I think I tried to let Angel kill me."

Faith's insides feel like they're on fire as Buffy's words sink in. She can't even manage to respond.

"I didn't try to stop him when he drank from me. I knew that I could stop him, but I didn't even try."

"Why would you do that?" Faith finally manages to whisper the words. Forcing them out, her brain a swirl of emotions that she's not ready to deal with.

"When I stabbed you… something happened. I felt like I'd lost something I needed, something that was part of me. I don't think I wanted to die. I just.. I don't know." Buffy frowned and turned back to the wall, curling herself into a ball.

Faith wants to say something, she just has no idea what to say. A thousand mean and snarky comments run through her mind, but she manages to keep them to herself. _So not only did I try to kill the only guy who ever tried to help me, but I drove the chosen one to want to kill herself? That's just great. _Faith frowns and pulls her legs even tighter to her chest. Burying her face in her knees. Memories and voices once again trying to remind her that she's worthless, that she can never do anything right, that no one could ever care about her.

"It's not your fault," Buffy says, briefly interrupting Faith's self-torment.

"How can you say that? Of course, it's my fault!"

"Ok - it's not entirely your fault." Buffy sits up against the wall, her legs stretched out in front of her. "If I wasn't so wrapped up in Angel, maybe things could have been better."

"You love him, kinda makes sense you were focused on him."

"He was going to leave right after we finished with the Mayor."

"Seriously? He was going to leave you?"

"He was, and I know it was for the best. There was no future for us."

"Do you really think it would have changed things that much if he wasn't around?" _Could she be right? If Angel hadn't been around, if she hadn't been keeping so many secrets, would I have trusted her more?_

"I don't know, guess it doesn't matter now." Buffy sighs and lays back down, once again facing the wall.

_How could she possibly care that much about me? All the time we spent together she sure never gave any sign that she liked me, even as a friend. She could barely stand to be in the same room as me._

Eventually, Faith can hear Buffy's breath even out, she watches the slow rise and fall of Buffy's back as she breaths. Finding herself drawn to sleepiness, she moves to her earlier position and wraps an arm around the smaller slayer. Feeling Buffy sigh and snuggle into her. _I guess if we're trapped down here, whatever this is is better than beating each other to death. _She lets the connection that she refuses to believe in bring her comfort and slowly bring her to sleep.

"Um, guys?" The slayers are startled awake by the sound of Willow's voice.

They were still laying together, Faith's arm draped around Buffy, but now they on the floor of the high school library. Quickly they separate and jump to standing.

**Buffy**

"Willow! You pulled us out of there!" Buffy runs to Willow and hugs her tightly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry it took so long. It was really difficult to find you." Willow replies, she looks tired and not as happy to see her friend as Buffy would have expected.

"How long have we been gone?" Buffy asks.

"Three years," Willow whispers in response.

"Three years!" Buffy and Faith shout in unison.

"We have a lot to explain."

"I am so outta here." Faith turns to leave.

"You can't leave," Giles calls out to her.

"Are you going to stop me?" Faith's face takes a threatening step towards Giles. He has no reaction to her threat, only stands with his arms crossed over his chest.

"He means it literally, you can't leave this place. Feel free to try." Willow replies, there is no passion in her words.

Faith looks around the room and notices there are no doors. It looks like the library, but there are no exits she can see. In a huff, she crosses her arms and leans against the wall. Her face frozen in a scowl.

"Just let us explain what's going on, and then you can decide what you want to do," Willow says.

Faith crosses her arms and leans against the wall. "Fine, whatever. But if you think I'm letting the council or whoever take me without a fight, you're out of your minds."

Willow sighs deeply, "there is no council. There is no one left that is interested in 'taking you.' Just let us explain."

Faith looks like she's about to argue again, but she seems to decide now is not the time.

"Here, you two must be hungry." Giles tosses them each a dark green package.

"This is food?" Buffy asks cautiously.

"It's called an MRE. There's a complete meal in there." The pair take their pouches to the table and sit down, keeping a healthy distance between each other.

Faith tears into her package and begins examining the various pouches and packets. She quickly begins devouring the contents of each. Buffy watches her and can't help but grin at her behavior. She shakes her head and begins eating the contents of her own pouch slowly. She notices Faith has finished her meal and is staring greedily at the items Buffy hasn't touched yet.

Buffy tossed the remaining pouches to her and tried to stifle a laugh as Faith devoured the contents of those as well. Knowing that there are more important things to worry about right now, she took a deep breath and tried to be ready for what they were about to tell her. She knew none of it was going to be good news.

"Where are my mother and Xander?" Buffy asks, finally noticing only Giles and Willow are here.

"Your mother and Xander are both dead." Giles reply is cold, but Buffy doesn't notice his odd behavior.

Buffy's tears flow freely at this news. She's shocked when Faith reaches over to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. She worked to compose herself, she had to know more about what was going on. "What happened to them?"

"Let me explain what's been happening." Willow sits at the table across from the slayers. "Without any slayers, things got a little crazy. We were able to defeat most of what came at us, with the help of some new friends. About a year ago, something called the First evil showed up. We couldn't stop it. It opened the Hellmouth, and all sorts of evil creatures poured out from it. There was nothing we could do."

"Your mother died before the First came, she had an aneurysm. It was peaceful, at least, from what the doctors told us." Giles explained tersely.

Buffy only nodded, she couldn't process everything she was just told. It only felt like a week ago that her life was fine. _This can't be happening, just a few dews ago I was graduating high school surrounded by my friends and family. Willow looks so worn down, I can't imagine how hard these years have been for her._

"Xander died fighting, we were taken by surprise. Even with all the training he had been doing, he had no chance."

"I thought the Hellmouth was under the library, how is it still standing?" Faith finally speaks up.

"We're not actually at the library." As Willow spoke, the illusion faded, and they were just in a plain white room. "We thought it would be less shocking to bring you into something familiar."

"So what's it like out there? Are there any humans left alive?" Faith had finished every scrap and crumb from the packages, she even ate the powdered drink mix. _I can tell she wants to ask for another meal. I'd find this a lot funnier if it weren't for the apocalypse._

"There are some, the demons have been corralling them into camps whenever they're found. The ones that they don't just kill anyway."

"And these new friends you've made?" Faith asks, raising an eyebrow.

Willow sighs. "They're called the initiative. It's a government-funded program to fight demons. They started out terribly misguided at everything supernatural. But we were able to join forces with them and help them change their ways."

"So is that where we are? In some government facility?" Faith looks around nervously, not liking the idea of being trapped anywhere.

Willow nods.

"What about Angel, did I save him?" Buffy quietly asks.

"You saved him, but we don't know where he is. He left after things happened with the mayor, and we haven't had any contact since." Willow doesn't make eye contact as she answers. _There is something they're not telling me._

"What exactly happened with the mayor?" Faith leans towards Willow, her posture threatening.

Willow glared back but was clearly not afraid of Faith. "None of that matters now."

"It matters to me! I need to know if he knew how to cure that poison and if it was him behind kidnapping us." Faith is raising her voice.

"We don't have answers you want. He never revealed his plans to us." Willow seems annoyed at having to answer Faith's questions. _I know she didn't like her, but it has to be better to have two slayers back in the world. Yet she doesn't seem all that happy to see either of us._

Faith grunts and pushes away from the table.

Willow sighs and continues to explain the current state of things, "The evil we're dealing with now has taken over the entire world. It's non-corporeal and can appear as any person who's ever died. It seems to enjoy appearing randomly and tormenting us with people we've lost."

"Well, that's just great. Are there rooms for us here or something? Can I go now?" Faith moves away from the table, heading towards the now visible door.

"Yes, I'll show you the way." Giles walks out with Faith, leaving Buffy and Willow alone.

"It's all my fault." Buffy covers her hands with her face.

"What? How is any of it your fault?" Willow sits down next to Buffy, showing her first sign of any emotion, even it was only confusion.

"If I had handled things differently, they never would have captured us. We would have been here. You could have been off in Oxford or wherever, instead of stuck in Sunnydale, having to fight my battles."

"Buffy, none of it is your fault. We've all made mistakes. You can't blame yourself for this." Buffy searches her friend's eyes. The words seem to match what she thinks Willow would say, but the facial expression doesn't.


	6. Chapter 6

**Faith**

Faith exits the bathroom after her shower to find Buffy sitting on the bed.

"What are you doing in here?" Faith asks as she continues to dry her hair with the towel. She had already slipped on shorts and a tank top before exiting the bathroom.

"I need to talk to you." Buffy's hands are folded in her lap, and Faith does not like the way she's staring at her.

"I don't care what you need. Get out!"

"Faith, please. I just want to talk to you."

"I think we've talked enough." Faith keeps her distance as Buffy rises.

"Fine, just tell me, and I'll leave."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me that you don't want me."

Faith pauses, narrowing her eyes at Buffy. Something doesn't seem right, but she's not sure what it is yet. Deciding she'll play along, just to see what this is about. "And if I don't want to tell you that?"

Buffy smiles and moves closer.

They're disrupted by a knock at the door. "Faith?" Buffy's voice calls out from the other side of the door.

"So close." The Buffy standing before Faith grins and disappears in a flash of brilliant white light.

"B?" Faith opens the door.

"Who were you talking to?" Buffy looks around, seeing no one else in the room.

"You."

"What?"

"The First was here, looked like you. Was messing with my head." Faith takes a closer look at Buffy and starts laughing. "What are you wearing?"

"You don't like my pajamas?" Buffy looks down at her outfit and frowns. The pajamas are bright pink and covered in little cows.

"They're just a little ridiculous."

"Yeah, well. They're comfy." Buffy shrugs and wraps her arms around her stomach. _She looks cute standing there all embarrassed. _The thought of finding Buffy cute irritates her, she pushes the idea away and focuses on finding a way to get Buffy to leave as soon as possible.

"I'm sure they are. So what do you want?" Faith stands in the doorway, attempting to block entry with her body.

"I was hoping we could talk." Without waiting for an invitation. Buffy slipped past Faith and entered further into the room, taking a seat on the bed.

"Make yourself at home." Faith lets the door close and turns to lean against it, not wanting to be far from a possible escape.

"I don't want you to leave." Buffy is staring at the floor, unable to look at Faith.

"Who said I was going to?"

"Right, and that's why you have a bag packed and asked for some extra meals!"

"Why do you care what I do?" Buffy still can't look at Faith. After several long moments of silence, Faith decides to push the issue. "If you want me to stay, you have to tell me why."

"What if you don't like my reason?"

"That's a risk you're going to have to take." _What would I do even if she does say it? Is that even what I want? I already told her I'm not interested, so what am I doing trying to get her to tell me that she is? I just need to get the hell out of here. I should have left already, but I wanted to get at least one good night's sleep before facing the apocalypse._

"I'm guessing it's not enough to say that I think we need your help?"

"You guessed right."

**Buffy**

Buffy groans and stands up, walking purposefully to where Faith is standing. Trying to ignore the smirk on Faith's face, likely still because of the absurd pajamas. _Why did I think it was a good idea to wear these?_ She shrugs the idea away, trying to gain control of the situation.

"This is a chance for both of us to start over. Nobody is after you, nothing that either of us did before matters now."

This idea doesn't seem to phase Faith. She doesn't move, just stands with her back against the door. "Start over? You're delusional. Maybe there are not many people left who remember what I did, but I remember. It only happened a few days ago to us, just because the world is a mess now - it doesn't make that shit go away."

"It could if you let it. If you tried to forgive yourself." _This isn't going at all how I wanted it to. I'm not sure why I expected her to cooperate with me. I just hoped she could find a way to free herself of the past._

"You've got to be kidding me. You just don't want to have to feel guilty about what you did or what happens to me if I leave. "

"That's not it at all... I... "

"Give me a break." Faith moves to open the door, planning to usher Buffy out of her room. She's stopped by Buffy suddenly being closer and keeping the door closed with one hand. Faith scowls at the smaller slayer. "Let's also not pretend like we can forget that you tried to kill me!"

"But I didn't, I could have. I decided not to." Her voice is barely a whisper. The closeness of Faith is making it hard for her to breathe.

_What am I doing? She hates me, and she wants to leave, what right do I have to try and stop her? _Buffy's eyes are watering at the thought. She had hoped they would eventually work through their differences. Now that she was starting to understand their connection, she didn't want to let it go. _What if she leaves and never comes back? _She's struggling to contain her fear and her increasing desire to wrap her arms around Faith and never let her go.

"I know you can feel me. I know we're supposed to be together."

"I already told you I'm not interested." Faith shoves Buffy away, she wasn't prepared for the shove and stumbled back a few steps.

She keeps her distance, her whole body tense to try to keep herself from returning the aggression. "I didn't mean that kind of together. I just mean that we should be friends, we should be fighting evil side by side. That won't happen if you go."

Faith shakes her head and approaches Buffy, grabbing her arm roughly and pulling her to the door. "Just leave me alone!"

Buffy wrenches her arm out of Faith's grip and shoves her back up against the door.

"Awww, why can't you crazy kids get along?"

Buffy turns away from Faith to see herself standing in the middle of the room. The First is not wearing absurd cow pajamas. She's wearing a very tight-fitting and revealing red dress. Buffy hears a sharp intake of breath from Faith. _What was that? Was that just a surprise gasp or something else?_

The first giggles at them. "Can't you two work out your differences? You should be friends, or maybe something more?" The First raises an eyebrow suggestively. Buffy shudders, watching herself acting like that is very disturbing.

"What do you care what we do? Don't you have an apocalypse to manage?" Buffy replies, wanting to fight, but knowing she wouldn't be able to actually hit this version of herself.

"Maybe I'm bored with running the world. It's all just a bit too easy. You two could be very entertaining for me though." The first winks and stalks towards them seductively. Her eyes locked with Faith's. She bites her lower lip and gently rolls it through her teeth. Again Faith gasps. The First laughs and vanishes.

"What the hell was that about?" Buffy turns back to Faith who now seems to be in turmoil. Her eyes are dark, and her eyes are locked on Buffy's lips.

_I guess I should have worn something sexier than the cow pajamas. Then maybe this discussion would have gone better from the start. What do I do now, though? The way she's looking at me… Does that mean she doesn't hate me? _Buffy didn't come in here with any plans of seducing Faith. She had been sure that wasn't going to work anyway.

Faith takes a step away from the door, towards Buffy.

**Faith**

Faith stares at Buffy, trying to suppress the ripples of desire flowing through her and failing miserably. She reaches out and places her hands less than gently on Buffy's shoulders, still staring intently at her lips. _Fuck it. I'm leaving tomorrow. Will probably die out there. Nothing matters anymore might as well have a little fun first. I can show her what the Faith she thinks she wants is really like._ _Then she can go back to hating me._

Faith guides Buffy slowly to the bed. Buffy doesn't resist, she just takes slow steps backward until she reaches the bed and is forced to sit down. Faith straddles her and slowly runs the pad of her thumb over Buffy's lips. Buffy can't contain her moan, closing her eyes and opening her mouth slightly.

_We can do this right? Have some fun before I take off. Isn't that what I am? Want, take, have. That is my motto, after all. There's no fourth step about being in a relationship or having actual feelings for someone. _It's getting harder for her to block out the connection she feels to the blonde slayer beneath her. It makes her hesitate, torn between wanting to keep her walls up and wanting to embrace the amazing sensations coursing through her body.

**Buffy**

Buffy wants to say a thousand things, wants to convince Faith how much she cares about her, but she knows if she opens her mouth to say anything that they'll just end up fighting again. She decides to just let herself feel, hoping that their physical connection will be enough to show Faith how much she means to her.

_I know this doesn't mean anything has changed, she's still leaving tomorrow. There's no way that this is a good idea, but I don't care. If I never see her again, I at least want to know. I don't want to waste any more time wondering. Maybe it'll give her something to think about, a reason to come back_.

She reaches for Faith's shirt, sliding her hands slowly under the material and feeling the amazingly soft skin. Faith shudders under her touch and gasps slightly. Buffy takes it as a sign of encouragement and smiles, sliding her hands up further, slipping them over Faith's back, intent on pulling her closer. She leans back, pulling Faith with her, their bodies pressed together, but not as tightly as Buffy wants. Faith isn't resisting, but she isn't moving as quickly as Buffy would like either.

Running out of patience, Buffy pushes Faith off of her and onto her back. She quickly moves to straddle the other slayer, smiling at the shocked expression on Faith's face. Buffy pulls off the top to her pajamas and tosses it across the room. Sitting up, watching the expression on Faith's face as she stares at what has just been revealed.

Buffy has no where near the experience she assumes that Faith has. She's only slept with one other person, and she's not entirely sure this time won't have just as severe consequences. She's attempting to let herself go, to act like she thinks Faith would want her to. _I expected a lot more confidence out of her. I guess she really isn't who I thought she was._ For a moment, Buffy is caught up in her thoughts. _Am I hurting her, making her do something she doesn't want to do?_ She's brought out of her thoughts by Faith's hands, which are now stroking her sides. Her eyes are glazed over, staring at Buffy with pure desire. _Or maybe not._

Buffy leans down and kisses Faith gently. She feels shockwaves through her body as soon as their lips touch. The sensation is so intense that it scares her, and she starts to pull away, but Faith won't let her. Suddenly their positions are reversed again. Faith is on top, pressing their bodies fully together. The kissing becomes less gentle as they greedily reach for each other.

**Faith**

Things start off aggressively, verging on violent. Flesh is bruised and scratched. Buffy is taking a lot more damage than she gives. Faith is trying to convince herself that she's doing this to hurt Buffy, that it's not what she wants. She had plans to show Buffy how much she hated her, and to let her know she was just being used. It didn't take very long before she began to forget why she hated the chosen one so much. She found herself letting go of her anger and allowed herself to wonder if it were possible that Buffy really did care about her.

After a rough and clumsy start, things began to slow down. Neither of them knew what they were doing, but they let their slayer sense guide them. Things turned from lust filled anger to passion and tenderness. _This can't be happening. I don't even like her. She stabbed me._

Even though Faith kept trying to remind herself, she found herself lost in the moment. Their bodies melted together so perfectly. Every touch became an explosion of ecstasy. The intensity of their slayer connection beginning to overwhelm her. She tried hard to fight the voices rolling in her head, telling her she wasn't good enough for this. That she was just a trashy slut. Her mother's drunken voice, telling her that she was worthless, that no one could ever care about her. She stiffened as the voices and memories assaulted her, she tried to pull away, but strong arms held her in place.

Buffy reached for her, turning her face so that their eyes were locked. Looking into Buffy's eyes, Faith knew her mother was wrong, she could feel everything Buffy was trying to get her to feel. It was too much to accept. Pulling away, she buried her face in the pillow. She couldn't let Buffy see her tears. There's no way she wanted to have to explain what she was feeling. This wasn't supposed to be about feeling anything. It was just a way to say goodbye.

_Time to go._ Faith carefully rises from the bed, begins getting dressed and gathering her gear as quietly as possible. _I know she's awake. I don't know what I'll do if she confronts me and asks me to stay again. _Faith frowns. Wanting to reach out and say something, but knowing that if she does, she won't leave.

She stands by the door for a few minutes, staring at Buffy's still form. With a final glance, she sighs quietly and exits the room. _It's for the best. I have to leave. Things are too difficult for me to be here right now. I need to figure out who I really am. Maybe I'll come back, and maybe she'll still be here. Not that I can expect her to wait for me. Why do I even care about any of this?_

She won't let herself think about last night. It didn't matter that it was the greatest night of her life. That for the first time ever, she felt like she mattered to someone. She knew it wasn't real. It was just a fleeting moment of pent-up emotions for both of them. It didn't change anything. It couldn't undo all the mistakes she made.


	7. Chapter 7

**Buffy**

_I have to stay still, pretend to be asleep. I want her to stay, but I know she thinks she has to go. If I ask and she says no again, it'll be too much to handle. I just have to hope she survives out there and comes back._

As the door clicks closed, she finally let's go of the breath she had been holding. The tears quickly follow. _I know something changed for her, I saw it. I felt her crying, even though she was trying to hide. I wanted to know if we could have had something and now I do. I'm sure now she's not who I thought she was, she's so much more._

Buffy waits 15 minutes before rising and hurriedly begins getting dressed. She has no idea what time it is but figured it'd be best if she gets to her own room before anyone else wakes up. Exiting Faith's room, she trys to quietly close the door behind her. Only to be greeted by Willow with a confused look on her face. _Well, shit._

"Hi." Buffy is surprised at the timid sound of her own voice.

Willow is fully clothed and staring at Buffy. An expression that Buffy can't figure out on her face.

"Uh.. yeah hi. They woke me up to let Faith out." Willow replies, smirking at the disheveled blonde slayer.

"Oh, guess that's where she went. Did she… say anything before she left?" Buffy is trying not to appear too worried about Faith, though she isn't entirely sure why.

Willow shakes her head.

"Do you think she's going to be ok out there? You didn't explain what it's like."

"Let's go somewhere else to talk, don't want to wake everyone up. Also, your pants are on inside out." Willow expression is oddly blank as she says this.

"Oh.. yeah... I.." Buffy looks down at her pants and groans, too embarrassed to notice how oddly her friend is behaving.

Willow only turns leading them back to the room they initially met in. There is a large conference table with chairs, but there are also a few couches. The pair sits on one of these. Each huddled against their own side. _She seems so different now, harder. I know there must be a lot of things she isn't telling me._

"What's it like out there?" Buffy asks once they are settled.

"It's bad. There is kind of a permanent night, almost all of Sunnydale has been burnt to the ground. I don't really know what the rest of the world is like. There hasn't been any way to communicate in a long time."

"Where do you think Faith will try to go?" Buffy really wishes she had tried harder to talk to Faith. Even if she couldn't convince her to stay, maybe she could have figured out her plan.

Willow's face flashes anger for a second, but she seems to compose herself. "I can't even imagine. Maybe she'd try to find the Mayor's people. I don't know if there are any of them left. We put a tracker in her gear, and there will also be a small group of soldiers following her for as long as they can." Buffy tries to keep herself from arguing about Faith going to the Mayor.

"She's going to know she's being followed."

"Yeah, probably. But maybe she won't find the tracker. It's the best we could do on short notice." Willow shrugged, "She is well armed and has rations to last her awhile. Most of the real danger isn't in Sunnydale anymore anyway. The demons figured out quickly that if they left town, there was almost no one to oppose them. So there was no reason for them to stay. There's still the occasional issue with new things creeping out of the Hellmouth, but we have protections in place for that."

"I'm so sorry, Willow. I can't even begin to imagine what things have been like for you. How long have you been living down here?"

"About a year." Willow frowns. "It's not so bad in here, at least we have everything we need."

"Is there anyone else I know down here?"

Willow pauses to think. "No, I don't think so. There's no one left from Sunnydale high."

"Are you in charge of all this?"

"Basically, yeah. After you... left, I had to get serious with the magics." Willow looks away, unable to keep eye contact.

"What happened?"

"I had to do some things.." Willow pauses, scrunching up her face. ".. in order to keep any of us alive. Not everything I did worked out exactly how I would have liked."

Buffy frowns. _This is all my fault. Willow wouldn't have had to do anything if I hadn't screwed things up so badly. She looks so tired. I've never seen her looking so worn out. _"I'm sure you only did what you had to do."

"You're bound to hear things, things you might not want to believe."

"We've all done things we wish we hadn't." Buffy looked down at her hands, she was finding it hard not to imagine a blood-covered knife there. If she hadn't tried to kill Faith that night, then none of this would be happening.

"But that's just it. I don't wish I hadn't done these things. I wish I hadn't been driven to do them, but they had to be done. There was no other choice." _This must be why she seems so different. She's had to close herself off to be able to make these terrible choices._

"I believe you only did what you thought was right. I'm sorry I wasn't here to keep this burden off of you, but I'm here now, and I'll do my best to keep you from having to do anything you'll regret ever again." Buffy is a little startled by the total lack of emotion from her friend. _She's telling me these things like they happened to someone else. I wish I could really understand everything that's been happening._

"It's cute that you think you can do anything for Willow. She's far more powerful than you can even imagine. She could crush you like a bug if she wanted to."

Buffy jumps to her feet, scowling.

"It's really hard to take you seriously wearing those pajamas." Angel stands in the room, hands on his hips, smirking at Buffy.

"Don't engage with him. He's just going to make you doubt yourself." Willow cautions, not moving from her relaxed position on the couch.

_I know she's right, this isn't Angel. But could there be any truth to what he says? I just can't believe that Willow could be that dangerous. Just last week she was barely able to float pencils. _Buffy sighs. _I need to stop thinking like that, three years have passed for her. I have no idea who she is now, no idea what she's capable of._

"Well, I already know these pj's are pretty silly. But they are comfy, and you saved them for me. So I don't care what anyone says." Buffy smiles triumphantly at Willow, seeing a small smile creep into her face.

"You do know they're inside out? Right? I guess my little show last night got you and Faith going after all." The First as Angel grins, enjoying needling the blonde slayer.

Buffy fights the blush that's creeping into her face. With the situation in the world, what she and Faith did last night doesn't seem so embarrassing. _I have no reason to be ashamed. There is nothing wrong with what we did or why we did it._

"I can't believe you let her leave like that. You know she wanted you to ask her to stay? She waited outside the door, just hoping you'd chase after her. But you didn't, you just laid there and let her leave. And now she's all alone. And you can be sure I know exactly where she is. We're going to make a great team." Buffy is starting to tremble under Angel's fierce gaze.

_Shit, there's no way what he said isn't true. Of course, he knows where she is, and he'll go after her. He can do all sorts of things to torment her out there on her own. I should never have let her go. _Buffy's eyes furrow in sadness.

"Don't listen to him." Willow's voice is stern and more than a little scary. Buffy looks at Willow now, hoping to gain strength from her friend. Instead, she's terrified at what she sees. Willow's eyes are pitch black, and she's rising, heading towards the apparition of Angel.

"If you do anything to her, you will regret it. I warned you what would happen if you didn't leave us alone."

Fear briefly crosses Angel's face, but he quickly replaces it with his boyish smile. "See, I told you. She's far more powerful than you can even imagine." He gives Buffy a last meaningful glance and vanishes in a flash of light.

Once he's gone Willow immediately calms down. Her eyes return to normal, and she retreats to the couch once more. She looks completely drained of energy.

_Ok... Now, what do I do? I want to know more about that threat. Does that mean they could be doing more to fight evil, but they're choosing not to? I need to talk to Giles. Maybe he can explain more about what's going on._

There's a light knock at the door, and a blonde woman peers through the opening. "Willow? Are you ok? What happened?" The girl runs to Willow and wraps her in a tight embrace. Willow quickly falls into her arms and begins sobbing.

"The first was here, he said some things," Buffy replies, not sure who this woman is.

The blonde woman scowls, but then looks at Buffy and her eyes widen. "You must be Buffy. I've seen you a few times before.. but you know, not really. I'm Tara." She's moved positions, so she is now leaning against the couch and cradling Willow in her arms. Willow has fallen asleep. "Did Willow mention me?"

"No, she didn't. I get the feeling there's a lot she hasn't told me. Is she going to be ok?"

"She'll be ok. She's just tired. It took a lot out of her bringing you back here." Tara is stroking Willow's hair and looking down at her lovingly.

"Are you a witch too?"

"I am, not quite the same way that Willow is. How much do you know about magic?"

"Not a lot. When I left, she was barely floating pencils. Now I guess she can do a whole lot more than that." Buffy looks at the pair thoughtfully. "How long have you two known each other?"

"We met freshman year of college."

"And you're... uh... a couple?" Buffy asks nervously, not sure why she should be nervous about asking that now.

"Is that a problem?" Tara raises an eyebrow as she looks at Buffy more closely. "No, I guess it isn't."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Sorry, I can read certain things about people. I try not to do it too often, but you were kinda screaming at me. Not that it's your fault."

"Oh." Buffy pauses looking away from Tara. "Wait, what did you see exactly?"

Tara only smiles in response. "I'm not sure it's the right time to talk about it."

Buffy looks down at Willow. Maybe Tara can answer some other questions. "She told the first that she warned him what would happen if he didn't leave us alone. What did that mean? Is there more that we could be doing?"

Tara's brow furrows. "She said that? I'm not sure what that means. I know she keeps things from me… I'm not included in the meetings."

"Who is?"

"It's mostly Willow and Riley. He's the leader of the military guys now."

"What about Giles?"

Tara's brow furrows again, and she looks away. "She told you Giles was here?"

"I saw him. When we were first brought here." _OK, what the hell is going on? He was here. I know he was. Maybe I was a little distracted, and it was weird that he didn't really say anything to me. I should have been paying more attention. I still haven't figure out how to not be so self-involved._

"Giles is... not here. I'm not sure who you saw, but it wasn't him."

"Is he alive?"

"As far as I know he is." Tara's face is scrunched up in confusion.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Tara?" Willow is stirring now

"I'm here, baby. I've got you." Buffy watches in confusion and frustration as the witches comfort each other.


	8. Chapter 8

**Faith**

Faith climbs out of the tunnel and is immediately dismayed by what she sees. She had never visited the UC Sunnydale campus, but she's sure it wouldn't have been littered with demolished buildings. She thought it would be morning, but the sky is covered in hazy darkness, it looks completely unnatural. Reaching out with her senses, she can't identify any demons in the area, but she quickly becomes aware of a group of soldiers following her every movement at a distance.

_Did they really think they could follow me? I guess they've never met a slayer. They wouldn't know what we were capable of. _She heads towards the woods and runs full speed for several minutes. As soon as she was alone, she searched through all the gear they gave her. Quickly discarding anything electronic that might have a tracker in it. She wasn't really worried about being followed, but she wasn't going to make it easy for them either.

_Now, where should I go? I don't have any idea what I'm looking for out here. I don't even know anyone who might still be alive. _Her first stop is to her old apartment, the one the mayor had set up. Almost all the houses and buildings she's passed are burned out husks, she is surprised that her building is still standing and left mostly untouched by the carnage that has destroyed everything else.

"I kept it standing for you. I knew you'd eventually find your way back."

Faith turns to see Mayor Richard Wilkins III standing behind her. His large, goofy grin plastered to his face. That grin always warmed her heart before, now all it did was make her angry. Scowling, she turns away. _It's just the first, trying to fuck with me. I won't fall for it._

"You must have questions."

"Sure, I have questions. But you aren't him." _Why am I even acknowledging him? He can't do anything but annoy me._

"No, I'm not him. But I do have all his memories. I know everything he knew."

_He's lying. They didn't say anything about the first having dead people's memories. But there's probably a lot they didn't say. Still, there's nothing good that can come of talking to him. Nothing he can say is going to make what happened any different. _Faith scowls, her determination renewed to ignore anything the First had to say.

"I didn't know the cure for the poison was slayer blood."

_He's a liar. I will not give him the satisfaction of responding to him._

"I just asked someone to bring me vampire poison. I had no idea what the cure would be. I was truly devastated to hear what happened between you two girls. I can't believe she tried to kill you!" He chuckles lightly, and she cringes from the sound. "Goes to show you never really know what a person is capable of. Though it seems you've found a way to forgive each other." He grins down at her, and it turns her insides, "I don't think she's good enough for you, but I do want you to be happy."

Faith continues to ignore him. Walking through her now empty apartment, picturing the brutal fight the two slayers had. For the first time, each of them going all out, truly trying to kill the other. She steps through the broken window to stand out on the roof. The roof where she and Buffy fought only a few days ago. She absently runs her hand over her stomach, feeling the permanent reminder of that fight. It was almost completely healed and not at all sensitive to the touch, but there would always be a faint scar.

_What am I doing out here? It's been three years, even if it's only been a few days. Buffy is probably right. Nobody cares about what I did. There's so much worse stuff going on. I should just go back, help her end whatever this is. _Faith frowns, looking over the edge of the roof. Remembering what it was like to fall off of it. _As fucked up as it is, she's the only one I can trust now. _Faith still can't admit how much she really does want to go back. If she lets herself focus on their connection, she can almost feel a slight tugging, pulling her back towards the initiative.

"The thing with trapping you in another dimension.. that was just a little misunderstanding. You were supposed to be by my side. They were only meant to capture Buffy." The Mayor looks sincere, and Faith has to fight hard to not accept his response as true.

"The guy who took me knew exactly who I was." Faith is fiercely staring at the apparition of the mayor. She knows it's not him, but maybe it was true that he had all the same memories.

Wilkins frowns and for a moment Faith believes that he really was upset about this news. "I don't know how that could have happened, my instructions were clear. They were just supposed to hold her there, I didn't want to risk another slayer being called."

"Does that somehow make what happened, OK? That you didn't mean to steal three years of my life? That you didn't mean to get me stabbed? Cause it doesn't make any of it OK. Not a single bit of it."

"I never meant to hurt you, and I don't want to hurt you now. You're still special to me. You have important things to do."

"Whatever, just leave me alone."

Faith stalks off, passing through the apparition of the long dead mayor. _I'm going back. There's nothing for me out here. _She climbs down the steps of her apartment building, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of her now that she's made her decision.

"Faithy? Is that really you?"

"Oh god, not again. Can't you just fuck off already? I'm not listening to you!" Faith groans and heads back in the direction of the initiative.

"I think you've got me confused with someone else."

Faith takes a closer look at who is standing before her. Her senses are tingling, telling her that there really is a vampire standing in front of her. _Did he call me Faithy? Angel never called me that. Is this Angelus? _"My mistake, I thought you were that first jackass. What are you doing out here?" She watches his body language, gaining more confidence that it was indeed Angelus she was talking to. It caused her pain to know that Buffy would be upset to find out about this.

He smiled wickedly, "I'm looking for you."

"Oh really, and what do you want with me? Are you going to try and help me redeem myself again?"

Angelus laughs at this idea. "No, definitely no plans for any redemption from me. I just heard the slayers had been restored to this dimension and I had to see for myself. I was hoping I'd find you out here on your own."

"You've found me."

"I have." He looks her up and down appraisingly grinning, she wants to shrink away from his gaze, but she keeps her body relaxed. "Doesn't seem like you've aged at all."

"It's only been a few days for me."

He pursed his lips and crossed his arms across his chest. "Can I assume that since you are out here on your own, that you and Buffy are still enemies?"

Faith has to resist smiling. _He could not be more wrong about that, but I don't think he needs to know just yet. _"She did just try to kill me. Kinda hard to just let that go." She shrugged, hoping to appear relaxed and unconcerned.

"Then maybe we can help each other out."

"What exactly do you have in mind? Angelus." She watches him carefully as she says the name.

A wide grin breaks out on his face, "guess you're not quite as dumb as everyone seems to think."

**Buffy**

Buffy watches Tara comfort Willow and tries to piece together everything that's just happened.

Willow is still exhausted and can barely sit up. Buffy needs to know what's going on, "Where's Giles?"

"Giles?" Willow frowns. "He's not here."

"Who was that when you brought us here then? It sure looked like Giles."

"I thought it'd be better if you saw a friendly face when you arrived."

"Where is he? Is he ok?"

"We don't know exactly. I do know that he's still alive." Willow gasps a little and falls back into the couch.

_Ok, so she's lying to me, but why? How am I going to find out what's going on here? Maybe the Army guys will tell me something. I wish Faith was here, at least I'd have someone with me that I could trust. I can't believe I just thought of Faith as someone I could trust. We were just trying to kill each other. _Buffy frowns and shakes her head. _This is all too much._

"She needs rest, I'm going to take her back to bed." Tara says, beginning to help Willow to her feet.

Buffy frowns but nods. She has so many more questions, but she can see that Willow is worn out and guesses that she probably won't tell her the truth anyway. She watches as Tara helps Willow out of the conference room. She returns to her room and flops down on the bed. Hoping that sleep will find her, doing her best not to think about Faith and how stupid it was to let her leave.

**Faith**

"How much do you know about what's going on?" Angelus asks as they return to his stronghold.

"First Evil opened the Hellmouth, demons running free, almost all humans killed or imprisoned."

"Is that what they told you? That the First Evil opened the Hellmouth?"

"It's not true?" _Why would Willow lie? I knew something was off with her but was too weirded out to make sense of it. When she let me out of the compound, she had a strange smirk, like she was glad that I was leaving. I just figured it was because she still hated me and expected me to die out here, maybe it was something else. _Fear that Willow might hurt Buffy briefly assaults her, she pauses for a moment and looks back in the direction of the initiative. She still planned to go back, she just needed to find out more before she did. Sighing, she buried her fear for Buffy and continued to follow Angelus.

The pair reaches the mansion that used to be Angel's home. It now looks much different, all the windows are covered in steel plating, and demons and humans are guarding the area. Memories of the last time she was here haunt her. Angel and Buffy tricking her into thinking she'd turned Angel, chaining Buffy to the wall. Her steps faltered as she warred with herself to focus on now.

"What is going on here?"

"Let's get inside. There's someone who you'd probably be more likely to believe than me."

Upon entering, Faith is shocked to see a small army inside. There is a mix of humans and demons all seeming to be living together and preparing for war. She's even more shocked when she sees a familiar face. "Giles? What..."

"Hello, Faith, I'm so relieved that you've been returned to us." He smiles and moves towards her with open arms. She's too shocked to react to the hug he's wrapped her in.

"How are you here? I just saw you... with Willow."

He frowns and backs away from her. "There is much I need to tell you about Willow and her army. They are not exactly what they appear to be." He pauses as if deciding what to say next. Finally, he sighs, "It was Willow's doing, opening the Hellmouth and releasing the First Evil onto the world."

"Do you expect me to believe that?" _He looks like Giles, and I don't sense vampire or demon on him. Though there are a lot of other monsters in here, could be messing with my senses._

"It wasn't intentional. She did it trying to return Buffy to our dimension. The outcome was still the same."

"Let's say I believe you, which I don't… why are you two working together? You do realize that's Angelus?"

"Its sort of an enemy of my enemy is my friend situation," Angelus responds.

"We want to put things right, close the Hellmouth and save what few humans are left. Now that the slayers have returned we might have a chance." Giles answers, frowning. "We think that you, in particular, are the answer to our problems."

"Me? What do you expect me to do?" _They can't seriously think that I can do anything about all this._

"We expect you to kill Willow."


	9. Chapter 9

**Buffy**

Buffy wakes up a few hours later and changes into some more appropriate clothing. She finds her closet stocked with simple jeans and t-shirts. The jeans don't quite fit her, but they'll do. _Guess I'll wander around and see what I can find out. _She exits her room and immediately bumps into a man dressed in army fatigue pants and a tight green t-shirt. His face is stern, and there is a large scar across his forehead. She also sees there is some sort of medallion under his shirt, but she can't quite make out what it is. _How long has he been standing there, waiting for me to come out? Something is very not good here._

"You must be Buffy." The man's voice is gruff, his stiff posture doesn't lessen even a little as he waits for her to respond. His lip curls derisively as he says her name.

"Are you Riley?"

"No, I can take you to him when you are ready."

"OK, let's go."

He turns and starts walking without saying anything or seeming to care if she follows.

"What can you tell me about what's going on out there?"

"It's best if you hold your questions for Agent Finn."

_Well, he's a pleasant fellow. I hope all the Army guys are just as much fun._

They arrive in a large open area with many tables set up. There are boxes of what she guesses are MREs piled up along the walls. Each box labeled with which type of meal was contained within. The soldier leading her points at a man sitting by himself and walks away without another word.

She walks over to the table and sits down across from him. He doesn't immediately acknowledge her presence. Poking at the food in front of him and frowning. She takes the time to look closely at him. Noting his broad shoulders and farm boy ruggedness. She decides that he was probably considered attractive at one time. But now he looks worn and sad. She also notes that he seems to be wearing a similar medallion under his t-shirt.

"Are you Riley?" She finally brings herself to ask.

He looks up at her words. His eyes are fierce as if he's annoyed that anyone would dare speak to him. Once he seems to realize who she is, his features soften.

"Yes, and you are Buffy."

She nods, and the man returns to his food. "Do you think you could answer some questions?"

"Questions?" Riley's confusion is doing nothing to make Buffy feel better about the situation.

"Yeah, like what the hell is going on around here?"

He sighs and pushes his food away. "Sure, come with me." He stands and starts walking towards the exit.

_I thought army guys were supposed to be all polite and respectful. I am getting a very bad feeling about what is going on down here. _She sits for a moment and then realizes that he's not waiting for her to follow, jumping up she chases after him just catching him before he rounds a corner.

She follows him to what seems to be a command center. Two soldiers with headsets are sitting at a console, their eyes locked on a wall of tv monitors, showing rotating locations from around Sunnydale. She watches the scenes change in horror, the Sunnydale she knew only a few days ago is completely gone. Almost every building is in ruins, and there is a thick haze covering everything.

"What is it that you'd like to know?" Riley folds his arms over his broad chest and leans against a table.

Buffy pauses, not sure what it is that she wants to know. "Is the whole world like that?" She nods to the monitors.

"It's quieter here. Demon activity is worse in major cities all over the world."

"Are there are other safe places like this? Anybody trying to fight the demons?"

He shrugs, not looking at her. Staring pointedly at the monitors to her right, the ones showing various views of Angel's mansion. She catches Angel and Faith entering the mansion. _At least I know she's safe. _No one else seemed to notice the pair. She decided not to comment on it. _Why would they be surveilling Sunnydale? And if Angel is here, why isn't he with Willow? She said she didn't even know where he was. _She can see that there seems to be a base there of some kind, it looks like there are demons and human soldiers patrolling the area. _Maybe it's Angelus, and he's taken Faith back to his evil army? I can't believe she would go with him willingly. She can't still be on the side of evil, can she?_

_Why take me to this room? He wants me to see something, but won't answer my questions. Maybe he can't for some reason? _She gets an idea, turning to move closer to the man and stand by his side. Pretending to watch the monitors, she stretches and unclips the necklaces holding the medallion, it slides off his neck but is caught inside his tucked in shirt. He looks down in shock and confusion, as the item is no longer pressed against his skin.

"You have to get out of here, now." Whispering, he pleads with her, looking around nervously. "314" He whispers as he retrieves the item from his shirt and quickly reattaches it as the sound of marching feet can be heard in the hallway.

"Everything ok in here, sir?" The same soldier that met her outside her room is there, with four other large men behind him.

Riley nods, returning his attention to the monitors. The soldier shoots her a dirty look, but seems satisfied with Riley's non-response and turns to leave.

She considers trying to talk to Riley again, but only sighs. _Something is controlling them, but not me. So I guess I'm free to wander around? _She turns and exits the command center. She passes by the mess hall and turns away from where her quarters were. Now she's walking down a brightly lit hallway with a series of glass chambers on either side. All of which are vacant until she neared the end of the hallway.

"Spike?"

At the sound of her voice, the creature inside snarled and leaped at the glass. Hitting it flashed a current through him and he was thrown across the room. As soon as he was back to standing, he threw himself at the electrified wall again. Buffy quickly backed away and moved out of his line of sight, hoping he would calm back down. She could hear him continuing to throw himself against the glass two more times before he stopped, or was maybe knocked unconscious. She couldn't bring herself to go back and check.

"Buffy?"

"Oh hey, Tara. Is Willow feeling better?" Buffy is relieved to have someone who doesn't seem like an automaton to talk to.

"She's still resting."

_She doesn't seem to be wearing that medallion that the soldiers are wearing. Should I try asking her questions? She didn't appear to know too much earlier._

"Oh, ok. I hope she feels better soon." Buffy knew she should be trying to spend more time with Willow, but she was also very uneasy about talking to the witch without having more information first.

"I'm sure she will." Tara smiles, and Buffy feels more relaxed. "Did you get to meet Riley?"

"I did. He doesn't talk much, does he?"

Tara smiled and shook her head, "No, I guess he doesn't. Where are you headed?"

"Just wandering around, trying to get a feel for the place."

"There's not too much to look at down here is there? Most of the old research bays are locked up tight. We haven't bothered trying to get into any of them since most of what they were doing down here was dangerous anyway. Seemed safer to keep it closed up."

"What were they doing down here?"

"Experimenting on demons. Trying to create super soldiers."

"That does not seem of the good." Buffy shuddered at the thought. She might kill demon's, but the idea of experimenting on them is still repulsive to her.

"No, it sure wasn't. One of their creations got out and was trying to take over the town. We were able to help them take it down, after that we sorta ended up taking over."

"What is Spike doing down here? I saw him in one of those glass rooms."

"They did something to him. We're not sure what, but he's completely feral now. Willow has been trying to find a way to help him, but so far nothing has worked."

"Why not just dust him?"

"After you left, he came back to town and helped us for a while. I think she feels bad for him."

"He helped? On purpose?"

"I know it's hard to believe, but he really did help."

Buffy and Tara continue walking down a long cement hallway with doors on either side. Buffy notes that each of the doors has a number on them. They just passed room 214, "How many levels are there in this place?"

"Two, this one and the one above."

_Is she lying, or does she not know? I'm going to have to find some way to break off on my own._

"How do you spend your time? Seems kinda boring down here."

"It can get very boring. I spend most of my time in the library." She frowns and looks down at the floor. "We had all of Giles' council materials brought down here, so there's a lot to go through. We still haven't found a way to put an end to all this though."

Buffy looks at Tara thoughtfully, "Can you explain what you meant about how you can see certain things about people?"

Tara blushed and looked away shyly. "I can see people's auras. I can usually tell what their strongest emotion is and maybe a few other things depending on how magical they are."

"Can you see anything in these soldiers auras? They seem kinda stiff."

"Yeah, I'm not sure what their issue is. I just assumed because they are army-types that they don't really let their emotions out much."

"What do you see when you look at my aura?" Buffy was nervous to find out. It didn't seem like Tara saw anything bad, it just scared her to have a stranger see things that she might not have even understood herself. She also wondered what Tara might have said to Willow about what she had seen.

"I can see that you have very powerful magic inside of you. You radiate magic." Tara grinned as said this, relaxing Buffy slightly about the situation.

"Really? I had no idea. But… you said…"

"Since your magic is so strong, I can read a bit more of about you than I can of non-magical people. I got the sense that you care very deeply for someone."

Buffy smiled, knowing that it was true, wishing that she had realized it sooner. "I hope you get to meet Faith." She whispers, wondering if Tara would be willing to tell her if Faith felt the same. Then feeling guilty for even thinking about taking advantage of magic to help her figure out how to get Faith to believe that her feelings were real.

"It's kind of crazy, and maybe I shouldn't tell you this… I can see tendrils of energy leading from you, like their reaching out for something. I see wisps of her energy mingling with yours, trying to bring you together."

Buffy's eyes widen. "What do you think that means? How do you know it's Faith's energy that mine is reaching out to?"

"I'm not sure what it means, I've never seen anything quite like it before. I was planning on researching it today. I guess I don't know for sure that it's hers, but it's so similar to yours I have to think that it is some kind of slayer energy."

"Whenever I'm near her I get these tingly sensations, they don't always tell me exactly where she is, but I know she's around. Maybe it's this energy you see?"

"It could be. If she does come back, I'd really like to talk to you both more about it. There might be ways you can tap into it." Buffy frowns, _she said if, not when. She has to come back, doesn't she?_

They walk in silence for a few minutes. Buffy is concentrating on her slayer sense, wondering if she can find a way to sense Faith. She frowns when it doesn't seem to work.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she'll come back, and you two can practice together." Tara smiles, Buffy is in awe of how sweet and caring Tara seems to be and also wonders if she can read her mind. It makes her question her suspicion of Willow. _If Tara supports her, how can Willow be up to something bad?_

They seem to have completed a circuit of the level they were on, returning to the corridor that holds their rooms. "I'm going to check on Willow. There is a gym on the level above if you want to burn off some energy. The stairs are just past your room on the right. I'll be in the library later if you need anything."

"Great, thanks. I'll check that out." Buffy smiles and heads off, back towards her room.

Entering her room, she sighs and sits down on the bed. She doesn't feel like she's really learned anything new and has no idea how to go about fixing that. Without anything to punch or stab, she feels very useless.

More than anything - she wishes Faith hadn't left. Even though Faith wouldn't have any more idea of what was going on, somehow it would be comforting to have her close.

**Faith**

"You can't be serious. I can't kill Red."

"You have to." Giles look is stern and serious. Faith didn't know him all that well, but she had never seen him look quite like this. Whatever had happened in the past few years, it seems to have a taken a very hard toll on him.

"There's no way, B would never let me." Faith shakes her head and backs away from them.

"Since when do you care what Buffy wants?" Angelus leers at Faith.

"Things are… Better between us now. I'm not sure I want to mess that up."

"Didn't she just try to kill you?"

"Well.. yeah. But that was before. And really it was three years ago," Faith's reply is unconvincing. "Maybe you should tell me more about what's going on."

"Yes, boys. Please do enlighten our dear Faith on what sweet innocent Willow has been up to." Buffy appears next to Faith, grinning at the trio.

"Ugh." Faith groans. "Why do you always have to show up looking like her? Aren't there billions of other dead people you could be?"

"But Faith, I thought you liked this body. You seemed to be having a good time with it last night." The first grins and runs her hands seductively across her midsection.

Giles chokes a little, and Angelus chuckles.

Faith is not phased by the comment, "Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

"It's no fun if you don't get upset." The First pouts but doesn't leave.

"Can you stop being an ass for one minute while we get her on board!" Angelus yells at the First.

"Wait, you're in league with this thing? What the hell is going on? I know I helped out the evil guy before, but I'm not into that now. You've got the wrong girl for this mission."

"You don't understand. Willow is the evil one. She's the reason the world is what it is." Giles says, his patience appears to be running thin.

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"I know I was never really your watcher, and we were never close. But you have to believe that I would never do anything to hurt Buffy."

"I don't know, things change. You're working with Angelus and the first evil. How can I believe anything you say?"

Giles frowns, "You saw what it was like out there. Don't you want to try to fix it?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Buffy**

Buffy is laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Nothing makes any sense, something is wrong with Willow, but she can't imagine what it is. She feels a wave of energy pass through her body and instantly pops up from the bed and opens the door. Faith is standing there, about to knock. Without a word or a thought, she pulls Faith into her room and shuts the door. Grabbing her roughly and kissing her, the kiss lasts only a few moments. "You came back." Buffy grins and leans her head on Faith's shoulder.

"Yeah."

"What was it like?" Buffy has her arms wrapped around Faith, who is standing stiffly in her embrace.

"Weird. Very very weird."

"In here too." Buffy moves to kiss Faith again, but she's shoved away.

"This is not what I came back for." Faith's tone is harsh and cold.

Buffy frowns and steps back. "Right. Sorry, I was just so worried that I'd never see you again. I saw you with Angel and all those demons, and I was sure something had happened to you. Everything is so strange down here. The First keeps messing with me, and the army guys are acting so weird. I can't even get them to talk to me. I think Willow is using those medallions they're wearing to control them. I got one off of Riley, and he was normal for a second, but then these other guys showed up." She took a deep breath. "You're the only one I can trust." Buffy finally stops her stream of words, searching Faith's eyes for any sign of reciprocation. She only finds a confused stare. She sighs and slumps down on the bed.

"You saw me with Angel?" _Of my babble-fest, that's what she decides to comment on? Maybe there really is nothing between us. I at least hope we aren't enemies. I have to trust that she's not evil, if I don't, I have nothing left._

"They have surveillance all over town apparently. What was that place?"

"First, that was Angelus and not Angel." Buffy's heart aches at the news. She had sacrificed so much for Angel, and now he was gone.

"Are you sure it was him? Why would he just let you go?"

"I'm sure." Faith sighed and shoved her hands into her pockets. "It's complicated."

"Why did you come back?"

Buffy watches with confusion as Faith paces, not saying anything.

"It's Willow, isn't it? Something's not right." She whispers, as if afraid to say anything against Willow in this place.

There's another knock at the door, and both slayers jump at the sound.

"Buffy? Can I come in?"

"Sure," Buffy answers reflexively, and the door opens.

"Faith? I didn't know you were back." Willow looks a lot less than pleased to see Faith.

"Yeah, I didn't want to bother you, so I sorta snuck in with one of the teams." Faith grins sheepishly, and Willow clenches her jaw.

"Well, good. I'm glad nothing happened to you out there." Willow smiles, but it doesn't seem real. She turns her attention back to Buffy, "I just came to see if you wanted to grab lunch."

"Sure, meet you in the conference room in a few minutes?"

"Sounds good." Willow spares another glance at Faith and exits.

**Willow**

_How the hell did she sneak back in here? It's going to be so much harder now! How is it that they're so friendly? They should still be trying to kill each other! I'm going to have to find some way to separate them. If they hadn't been so close when I pulled Buffy out, Faith would still be stuck in that other dimension, and I wouldn't even have to worry about this._

On top of taking more of her energy to pull them both out, she had to waste even more of her magic appearing to protect Faith from the First. She just knew that if Buffy believed Faith was in danger that she wouldn't be able to stop her from trying to leave.

Willow returned to her quarters to think. Sorting through the papers on her desk. Everything was in order. She just needed Buffy to complete her task. Then she would be able to fully restore life to Tara.

It had been two years since Tara died. Willow had managed to partially bring her back to life but was cursed to never be able to be with her. Only when Willow was asleep or drained of energy would Tara be alive. They shared brief moments together, but Willow would never be able to enjoy those moments. It gave her some small comfort to know that Tara did get to live on, but she needed more.

That's why she fought so hard to bring Buffy back. The slayer was the key to restoring full life to Tara. The slayer who defied death once before was the gift Osiris demanded. Willow was determined to give him that gift. She'd already destroyed the world in this pursuit. She wasn't about to stop now, just to keep the slayer who was once her friend alive.

She had been spreading herself very thin lately, using too much magic to maintain control of the soldiers. She was lucky that most of them still willingly followed the command structure. Unfortunately, that's likely why Faith was able to sneak in so easily. They weren't all automatons following her orders without question. It wouldn't matter once she had Tara back, together they would set everything right and defeat the first. It was these thoughts that helped her justify what she was doing. She even considered explaining it to Buffy as a way to get her on her side. She just wasn't so sure the slayer would be willing to sacrifice herself, even for such a noble pursuit.

**Faith**

_Red looked seriously pissed off that I was here. Maybe everything they said was true._ She pulls a small pouch out of her pocket and looks at it, somehow trying to discern if it can really do what they said. "Keep this on you at all times." She hands it to Buffy, who looks at it confused.

"Why? What is it?"

"I can't explain now, just please trust me."

"I trust you." She stuffs the pouch into her pocket, and Faith breaths a sigh of relief. _I can't believe she says she trusts me. I don't understand what she sees in me. It almost makes me not want to let her down, to be the person that she thinks that I could be._

"Can you try to convince Red to let us go out on patrol?" Faith asks, desperately wanting a chance to talk to Buffy away from this place so she can explain all that she's learned.

"You don't think she'll let us go?"

"Just ask her and see what happens, I guess."

Faith hates being trapped in this compound, she looks all around the room, wondering if there are cameras watching them now, knowing there's nothing she can do about it.

_B knows there's something wrong with Willow, but will she trust me? Will she let me kill her friend? _Faith considers letting Buffy think that she loves her, taking advantage of her feelings to make sure she makes the right decision. She just can't bring herself to do that though, part of her wonders if she has feelings for Buffy. Her anger and lack of self-worth won't let her believe it. _No matter what I do, there's no chance B will forgive me. I'd rather she hates me for killing her friend than thinking that I used her and then killed her friend. _Confused by her screwed up logic, she runs her hand through her hair and heads towards the door.

"You're leaving?" Buffy frowns and Faith's heart lurches at the sadness she hears.

"Yeah, gonna get cleaned up. Plus you have lunch."

"You could come."

"I don't think Red would like that too much."

"Will I see you later?" Buffy approaches, and sweep hair out of Faith's face. Faith can't help but shudder at the contact. _Why does this have to be happening? How is my life so impossibly fucked up? _"Maybe we could train later? There's a decent gym upstairs."

"Sure, OK." She moves to open the door, but Buffy stops her.

"Faith? I know things are crazy. And maybe none of this makes sense. But I trust you completely. Whatever it is you're not telling me, I trust you." Buffy's eyes are unwavering and locked on Faith's. No one has ever trusted Faith before. She's always been the one everyone expected to screw everything up. Her instinct is to panic, to make a snarky comment and push Buffy away, somehow she doesn't. She only nods and pulls the door open, turning away. Her mind in complete turmoil.

She returns to her room and flops down on the bed. Fingers running gently over her lips, thinking of the tingling sensation from the brief kiss moments ago. _B is just lonely and scared, so she's clinging to me. Once I deal with Willow, all of that will go away. She'll remember that she hates me. _Frowning Faith sits up from the bed and focusing on remembering who she has been for the past few months. Focusing on her strength and confidence, pushing away any of the soft emotions that she knows will only lead to pain.

**Buffy**

_I wish I knew what happened to her out there. I could see the way Willow looked at her. I can't believe that she's held onto her hatred of Faith after all these years. There must be something else going on._

Buffy heads off to find Willow and see what else she could find out. Willow is alone in the conference room, sorting out the contents of an MRE. "Hey Willow, where's Tara?"

"Resting."

"Oh, she seems really nice. I'm glad you found someone who loves you."

Willow's eyes go fierce for a second, and Buffy feels the energy change in the room. Willow shakes her head, and her eyes soften. _What the hell was that? Are things not what I think they are between those two?_

"How can you be so cozy with Faith all of a sudden?"

Buffy is a bit shocked by this question and the harsh tone of her previously always sweet friend. "I don't know that we're all that cozy. We just finally got the chance to talk without anything getting in the way."

"You slept together," Willow replies flatly.

"I thought it might convince her to stay." Buffy shrugged.

"Maybe not the best tactic for the get some, get gone, girl. You must remember what she did to Xander."

Buffy sighs, "Yeah, I remember. I know it wasn't a great plan."

"There are lots of hunky initiative guys down here. You could have any one of them if you wanted."

Buffy tries to suppress her shudder at the idea and the implication of what Willow just said. Guessing that Willow might be offering to give her one of the soldiers if she wanted her to. Focusing her attention on the pouches of food in front of her, not at all hungry, but needing something to keep her reactions in check. "Yeah, I guess it could be good to get to know some of them better. Riley is kinda cute, in a commandery kind of way. There are other things to worry about right now, though." She put on her best smile and watched as Willow seemed to relax a little.

Buffy watches Willow out of the corner of her eye as they both poke at their food. "I was thinking I should go on patrol later. See if there's anything demon-y to kill." Buffy notices Willow's eye twitch at the suggestion.

"There's not much going on around here, the soldiers patrol regularly, and from the reports they very rarely find anything." Willow shrugged.

"Oh, just getting a little stir crazy in here." Buffy frowns.

"Maybe in a few weeks when I'm back at full power, I'd feel better if I knew I could protect you if something happened."

_So I can't go out because there's nothing to fight out there, but she also wants to keep me safe? I'm sure that makes some kind of sense. It looks like Faith was right, she's trying to keep me in here for some reason. _"Yeah, ok."

Willow seems to relax again, now that Buffy has dropped the request to leave.

Buffy crumples up the packaging from her MRE and rises, "I think I'm going to go check out the training room. I'll see you later?"

Willow smiles and nods. Buffy forces herself to return the smile and heads upstairs. She can already feel Faith is in the training room. She sneaks in and closes the door behind her quietly, hoping to watch the dark slayer training. Faith's back is to the door and is stretching. "Enjoying the view?" Faith asks without turning around, not stopping her routine.

_Of course, if I can feel her, then she can feel me too. _Buffy berated herself for thinking she could sneak up on Faith. She doesn't respond to the taunt, just continues to watch, finding herself mesmerized by Faith's smooth and controlled movements. After a few minutes, Faith finally turns.

"B?"

Buffy snaps back to awareness, a blush forming on her cheeks. "Ready to spar?"

Faith grins, "are you sure you are? You're looking a little flushed, might be running a fever or something." Faith's flirty response brings even more heat to her face.

"Or something." Buffy grins and launches her attack, which Faith easily deflects. It was a lazy serious of left and right hooks, with no intention of actually landing. Faith grabs Buffy's left wrist and uses her momentum to throw her to the ground.

"You've got to have better than that!" Grinning at the prone Buffy, she was surprised when her legs were kicked out from under her, and she landed on her ass.

"Oh, I've got better, don't you worry." The slayers jump to their feet and circle each other.

_It feels good to spar again. _She tries not to remember the last time they fought. It was only a few days ago, but it feels like a lifetime has passed. So much has changed for Buffy, she could only hope that the same was true for Faith. The slayers dance around each other, parrying each blow, eyes gleaming with the excitement of the fight. Neither slayer notices when a certain redhead enters the gym. All of the focus is on each other and attempting to find an opening.

Faith launches a particularly vicious right hook. Buffy can feel the energy in the room change slightly. Buffy's defense is not where it should have been, and the blow connects. It hits her solidly on the chin and Buffy is knocked to the ground, rubbing her cheek. Her face a mask of confusion.

"Faith! How could you!" Willow is suddenly by Buffy's side. Buffy instantly understands what's going on. All her suspicions confirmed. _What is Willow trying to do? She must be trying to tear us apart for some reason. I wish there was a safe place we could talk, that must be why Faith wants to go on patrol, hoping that Willow doesn't have eyes and ears everywhere._

"It's not my fault the dumb blonde can't block a punch!" Faith stalks out of the room.

"Are you ok?" Willow asks, wrapping her arms around Buffy and helping her to her feet. It was the first time Willow initiated contact. Buffy could tell it was forced.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's no big."

"I don't think it's safe for Faith to stay down here with us. She is still evil, after all."

_Ok, how do I play this? I can't let her send Faith away, but if I protest too much will that make things worse? _"It's ok, Willow. I don't really think she was trying to hurt me. We just got a little carried away."

Willow scowls, "I just don't trust her, what if she comes after you again?"

"I'll keep my distance. It doesn't seem right to turn her out until we have some proof that she's up to something."

Willow scowls again but says nothing.

Buffy steps away from Willow and rubs her chin. Trying to think of some way to get away from Willow so she can think. "I think I'm going to find some ice and get cleaned up. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, sure."


	11. Chapter 11

**Buffy**

Buffy is roaming around the compound, looking for some way to reach the lower level. She wanted to bring Faith with her but was afraid of Willow thinking they were getting along. She had waited until she thought Willow had gone to sleep before starting her adventure. Checking all the doors she passes, hoping to find one unlocked, thinking one of them had to have a way to get to the lower level. So far none have them have revealed anything useful.

"Buffy?" Buffy is startled at hearing her name but relieved to see Tara behind her.

"Hey, Tara. What's up?" She's hoping to sound nonchalant, and not like she's been sneaking around trying to get into areas that maybe she shouldn't be.

"Just heading to the library, what are you doing?"

"Just going trying to burn off some excess slayer energy." Buffy looks at Tara thoughtfully, "How come I never see you and Willow together? Is everything ok?"

Tara's posture changes, her normally open happy expression is now nervous, "I don't know what you mean, everything is fine." Tara stutters her words out, and her brow is furrowed.

"You have to see something weird is going on here. The soldiers are all wearing those medallions, and Willow doesn't seem to want me to leave."

"Those medallions are just to protect them from the first."

"Then why don't you or I have one?"

"I don't know…" Tara's face contorts in confusion. "What are you trying to say?"

"I think Willow is up to something. She wants to kick Faith out. I know they never got along, but it seems like she's trying to keep us apart for some reason." Buffy is starting to feel bad about pushing the issue, but she has to find out if Tara knows anything.

Tara beings rubbing her temples and moaning slightly, "Tara? Are you ok?" Buffy moves closer and reaches Tara just before her knees go out, and she starts to crumble to the ground. Buffy is still holding her up when she feels a powerful blast of energy push her away, knocking her painfully into the wall. She quickly regains her feet.

"What did you do to her!?" Willow is now by Tara's side, holding her up and glaring at Buffy.

"I didn't do anything, she just fainted, I think."

"You must have done something!" Willow is helping Tara to her feet and helping her down the hall in a direction away from their room.

Buffy moves to follow but finds she can't get any closer to them. Willow glares over her shoulder. "Just stay away from her!" With that shout, Buffy finds herself thrown again, crashing to the ground. It takes her a bit longer to stand up this time. When she finally does, the pair of witches are nowhere to be seen.

_What the hell was that?_ Buffy turns back towards her room, rubbing her back where she crashed into the wall. As soon as she enters, she feels strong arms restrain her from behind, one covering her mouth, preventing her from speaking. She knows who those arms belong to and she doesn't resist, lets herself be guided into the bathroom and watches as Faith turns the shower on, Buffy guesses to prevent anyone from overhearing them.

**Faith**

"Wha.." Faith once again covers Buffy's mouth, preventing her from speaking.

Faith leans in close, intent on whispering into Buffy's ear. When she gets close, she feels Buffy shudder, and she loses track of herself. Instead of saying what she needed to say she found herself leaning into Buffy, breathing her scent in. Buffy's hands were on her hips, pulling her close. "Please," Buffy whispered into her ear, warm breath scorching Faith's check.

She groaned and pushed herself away, closing her eyes and taking calming breaths. Shaking her head, unable to look at Buffy. _This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come in here. I can't let her think there's something between us when there isn't. _Buffy moves closer, "Can I just say one thing?" Faith nods slightly, eyes still tightly closed.

Instead of speaking, Buffy kissed Faith with all she had. It was gentle, but it was deep and filled with meaning. It was soft and perfect, knocking all of Faith's plans out of her head as she returned the kiss against her better judgment. _We can't be doing this. I don't know what she's thinking. There is an apocalypse that we have to stop!_

"Fuck." Faith took a deep breath and pushed herself away again. "You make a good point, but we can't. I have to tell you something, and when I do…" She can't bring herself to say what she knows will happen.

"Are you here to tell me you're here to stop Willow? Cause if so, I'm in."

"What?" Faith is completely shocked that Buffy already seems to be willing to go against Willow.

"She's not the Willow I once knew, I think… I think she's up to something."

"Giles and Angelus aren't exactly sure what she is planning, but they said she has to be stopped."

"You saw Giles? He's working with Angelus?"

"It gets crazier. They're both working with the First. I wish I could explain more, but I don't know if it's safe. They gave me those pouches to protect us from Willow's magic. It must not work all that well since she was able to make me hit you." Faith shrugged and tried to hide how upset she was that she had punched Buffy in the face - even if it wasn't on purpose.

"You should have seen what she just did to me." Buffy frowns, rubbing her back once again.

"She hurt you?" Faith is confused by how upset she is that Willow hurt Buffy. Her insides churned at the thought of what might have happened.

"She thought I did something to Tara. She threw me around with her magic like I was a ragdoll."

Buffy frowns, the two slayers are as close as they dare be. Speaking as low as possible, hoping their slayer hearing is more advanced than whatever surveillance Willow might have in place.

"Tara? Willow's girlfriend?"

"Have you met her?"

"Met her? She's dead."

"Dead? Are you sure? She seemed very much alive when I was talking to her earlier." Buffy's shock at the news caused her to back away and raise her voice.

Faith pressed a finger to Buffy's lips, trying to quiet her.

There is a pounding on Buffy's door and then crashing sounds as the door is forced open. The slayers don't even have a chance to move before the bathroom door is ripped open and Faith is being dragged away. "What are you doing!? Let her go!" Buffy screams at the men who are using their much larger bodies to block her access to Faith.

"We're under orders to lock this one up. Don't get in the way. We don't want to hurt you."

Faith lets out a furious roar and smashes the soldier holding her in the nose with the back of her head. He drops to the ground and blood gushes from his face. She kicks out at the next one before he can grab her and in a flash, she's running out of the room and down the hall.

_Fuck, Fuck, FUCK! Now, what am I going to do? I have to get out of here, they told me there was another way in and out of here, I just have to remember what it is. I should have paid more attention._

She remembers something about 314, as she passes a door that says 232. She explored a little but had never seen a way to go down a level. The numbers on the doors are going down, so she hopes she's going in the right direction. The sound of clomping footsteps is fast approaching. She needs to make a move and fast.

Room 214 is on the right, and she tests the handle, locked. It's not a particularly robust door though, and the lock yields as she pushes against it. She quickly but quietly shuts the door and looks for anything to keep it closed behind her. Grabbing a chair, she jams it under the handle, hoping that will make it seem like the door is still locked. The room appears to be a small exam room. She doesn't want to turn on the light, but enough passes under the door that she can see the room with her slayer vision. There are only a desk and a medical bed. The walls are all made of concrete, and there are no visible openings in any of them. The floor, however, is a raised tile floor.

The sounds of footsteps reach the door but continue past. Nobody seems to have realized she came in here. She takes a moment to breathe a sigh of relief and kneels down, looking for a way to lift one of the tiles. One of them is designed to be a vent, and she is able to wedge a finger in one of the holes and lift it. She peers under the floor and doesn't see much. There's a crawl space about two feet high. It goes in all directions, further than her slayer enhanced vision is allowing her to see. The footsteps are approaching again, and she knows it's now or never. Even if she can't figure out how to get down a level, she should be able to move to any other room from here. She slides under the floor and carefully replaces the tile.

Moving as quickly as she can, she scurries to the back of the room, as far from the door and hallway as possible. _Maybe I should go back to get B? I can't let anything happen to her. _Faith frowns and closes her eyes.

"Where did she go!" Faith can hear Willow yelling at the soldiers above as she quietly shimmies her way back to Buffy's room.

"We can't find her. She seems to have disappeared."

"That's not possible, keep searching. You two go get the other one and lock her up." Willow's voice is harsh and sends chills down Faith's spine.

_There's no way I can get to her before they do, I'll just have to find a way to break her out. They better not hurt her._ Faith lay motionless, reaching out and trying to sense where Buffy was.

**Buffy**

Buffy was still being contained by several soldiers when new ones showed up. "Come with us."

"Why? What is going on? Where is Faith?"

The soldiers don't answer. They simply grab for her. She ducks under their reach and runs in the direction she thinks Faith went. Before she can make it very far, a sharp pain shoots through her body, and she's dropped to the ground.

She wakes up holding her aching head. _What happened? Where am I?_ She examines her surroundings. It's eerily similar to the cell she and Faith had been contained in. It's completely white with no visible openings anywhere. The dimensions are not the same, this room is much narrower with lower ceilings. Reaching out with her senses, she can feel a vampire nearby. _They must have me in one of those cells near Spike._ She reaches out further, hoping to feel Faith. Surprised when she can feel her under the floor.

She lays down and puts her ear to the ground. "Faith?"

"I'm here, trying to find a way to get you out of there."

"How are you under the floor?"

"There's a crawlspace, but I can't seem to get through into your cell. You shouldn't talk too much. They might be watching you." Buffy groans and lays down on the floor.

"I could just be a crazy person who talks to themselves."

Faith chuckles, "I found a way down a level, I think I can get us out of here. Can you get out of the room you're in?"

"I don't think I can. You should just go, I can't imagine what Willow will do to you if she finds you."

Faith is silent for a moment. "I'm not leaving you here. I will find a way to get you out."

The panel to Buffy's cell slides open before Buffy can push the issue further.

"Willow!" Buffy jumps to her feet, prepared to fight, but knowing she had very little chance if Willow decided to throw her around again.

Willow laughed at the defensive stance. "I'm not here to fight you. There'd be no point." Buffy gasps at the sight of her friend. Her usually fair skin is even paler than before, blue veins are showing through her almost translucent skin.

"Why are you doing this?"

Willow sighs, all pretense is gone from her. Her posture is completely different, her hair is so violently dark red that it is almost black, her eyes are shimmering with flecks of red and black. There is virtually no resemblance to the Willow that Buffy once knew and loved. "It's all your fault. Yours and Faith's, of course. If you two hadn't screwed everything up, then none of this would be happening."

"It's not like we planned to get trapped in another dimension."

"No, I suppose you didn't. Doesn't matter though. Things are how they are because I tried to save you. So you're going to help me get the one thing I care about in this world back."

"What are you going to do to me?"

"I'm going to trade you for Tara. You're going to do it willingly, you owe me." Her voice is harsh. Buffy can almost feel them stabbing into her.

"What? What does that even mean? Why do I need to be traded for Tara?"

"It's your fault she's dead, your fault we can't be together." Willow's rage is evident, the energy in the room is charged. Buffy's skin is tingling, but she can't move, nothing she can do to fight it. Willow slams her into the ceiling and drops her to the floor. Buffy tries to rise, but her body won't respond. Her body raises against her will, hovering a foot off the ground. Willow slams her into the wall again with a wave of her finger. Buffy crashes into the wall, unable to do anything to protect herself from the impact.


	12. Chapter 12

**Faith**

It requires all of Faith's self-control not to cry out when she hears the tell-tale sound of Buffy's body hitting the wall and crashing to the ground. _B is not moving. She's still alive at least. I am going to kill this fucking witch if it's the last thing I do!_

Willow is shuffling around above her, muttering incoherently to herself. "Just two more days." She hears the witch say clearly. "Two more days, and I can have what I want."

Faith continues to lay as still as possible, hearing that she has two days to figure this out, calms her slightly. As soon as Willow leaves the cell, she gets moving. Quickly she crawls her way to the access to the third level and out into the tunnels. It took her a while to navigate the tunnels, but finally, she found herself in the open air. Taking a few moments to gather herself before she ran as fast as she could towards Angel's mansion. She knew there was surveillance of the area, but there wasn't anything she could do to avoid it.

She rushed past the confused guards calling for Giles. "Two days, she said she was going to trade Buffy for Tara in two days." Gasping for breath as she explained what little she had learned. "Your stinky little pouches don't work for shit by the way."

"If they didn't work, you'd be dead by now. It masks what you're thinking. It's not complete magic protection." Giles responds tersely as if she should have somehow known this.

"That would have been good to know before." Faith is furious and waving her hands around as she paces in front of Giles, wishing she had something she could fight.

"Did she say what was going to happen in two days?"

"Just that she was going to trade her for Tara. I found this in a room on the third level." She retrieves a few scrolls from her pocket and hands them to Giles.

He unfolds them and examines the contents. "Well, this isn't good." He mumbles to himself and turns to grab a book off the shelf.

"What is it? What is she going to do?"

"This is a resurrection spell, which only works if the person was killed by magical means. Which Tara was not." Giles frowns and rubs his forehead. "Did you happen to see an urn? Looks like this." He points to an image in the book he retrieved.

"No, I didn't see anything like that."

"It must be somewhere down there. If you see it, you must destroy it immediately." He begins reading the book in his hands again and purses his lips. Faith is filled with rage, and her patience is running out. "I can't imagine what she's planning to do. Maybe someone promised to return Tara to her in trade for Buffy."

"B said that Tara was down there already. If she's already alive, why does there need to be a trade?"

"I fear we just don't have enough information." Giles frowns and starts examining his book again.

"Can't we bust in there with the army you have? We have to get B out now! I don't know what exactly this trade is going to be, but it can't be good. You know how to break in there, so what you are you waiting for!?"

"We can't just attack them. Those soldiers are all under Willow's influence. They are innocent in this."

Faith is pacing, when she remembers something. "B said she thought Willow was using some medallions to control them. She took one off of the head guy, and he was normal. Maybe we can capture some and get them on our side?"

"If you wait until she starts the ceremony, you'll have your best chance." The First suggests as it appears next to Faith. "Her control over the soldiers will be weakest then."

"We can't wait! What if she does something to B?" Faith is so upset that she's not even aware enough to wonder why she's so worried about Buffy being hurt.

"Willow won't hurt Buffy. She needs her for the ceremony."

"How do you know all this?" Faith glares at the First, who is of course in the guise of Buffy. She doesn't let it show how much it irritates her.

"I know all kinds of things." The First winks and Faith rolls her eyes in frustration.

She turns her attention back to Giles, "So how about it? We can grab some soldiers now and get rid of their mind control. Then we can bust in there and stop the ceremony." Faith is brimming with energy. They have a plan of action, and she is ready to start now.

"It's a good idea, Faith. We just need to wait a little while longer, so Willow doesn't figure out what we're up to."

"I don't think we should. She already knows that I got out of there, she could do something to block us from being able to get back in."

"If you're right about the medallions, we should be able to walk in the front door."

"What if I'm wrong?"

**Buffy**

_OK, that sucked_. Buffy's head is throbbing, and her whole body ached. She reached out with her senses and frowned when she couldn't feel Faith anywhere nearby. She could still feel Spike, but that didn't do her much good. It was a slight relief to her that maybe Faith got out, that she was safe from Willow.

The door to her cell slides open. She freezes, afraid Willow has returned to finish her off. She relaxes when she sees the blonde standing nervously in the opening. "Tara?"

Tara stays in the entrance to the cell, staring curiously at Buffy. Buffy takes a step towards her, but Tara raises her hand and shakes her head. "I can't let you out."

Buffy clenches her teeth, wondering if she could make it through the door before Tara could close it. Deciding that she couldn't, she tried to focus on getting Tara on her side. "Do you know what she's planning on doing?"

"She told me." Tara's hands are clutched in front of her, and she was visibly nervous and upset.

"And you're ok with it?"

Tara looks down at her feet. "I... want to be alive."

"I can't blame you for that. I'm sorry for what happened to you, but it's not right for Willow to kill me so that you can live!" _Maybe if I can get her to understand, she'll stop Willow._ "You must realize all the terrible things she's doing? Controlling these soldiers? Controlling you!"

"I shouldn't have come. I have to go." Tara backs away, the door sliding shut before Buffy can reach the opening. She pounds on where the now closed door was and is rewarded with a jolt of electricity which sends her flying. _I really hate this place_. She stays on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Nothing makes sense, her family and friends are gone. The world is in chaos, and there's nothing she can do about it. She's never felt so hopeless and afraid in all her life.

**Willow**

_Today is the day!_ Willow has brought all the materials she needs for the spell to the secret chamber she set up on the third level. Tara and Buffy are restrained on medical beds, both currently unconscious. Willow moves between them, first painting symbols on Tara and then on Buffy using blood she obtained from one of the soldiers. There were no animals left to kill, so she had to improvise. It wasn't hard. He gave himself willingly to her, sort of.

She could hear an explosion on the floor above her. She ignored it. _They can't possibly find me in here, no matter how much of the initiative they blow up_. This room wasn't part of any floor plans and was only accessible through a tunnel which she had magically hidden. Even if they could guess where she was, there'd be no way to get to her before the spell was complete.

"Willow, please don't do this. You don't have to do this!" Buffy cries out. Willow grins as she watches the helpless slayer thrash pointlessly against her bindings.

"You're not supposed to be awake." Willow hovered over the restrained form of her once best friend. Grinning down at her, "and you're wrong, I absolutely have to do this."

"You were my best friend. How could you do this to me?"

"Was I? I think we remember things pretty differently. Plus, isn't Faith your best friend now? Didn't you abandon me so you could be with her?"

"That's not at all what happened!"

"Wasn't it? You were pulling away from me, spending all your time with her and ignoring me!"

"She was alone. I was just trying to be her friend. I never meant to make you feel abandoned."

"Right, you just wanted to be her friend all right. Her naked friend." Willow leers down at Buffy. Her voice filled with venom.

"Not then, I didn't know what I wanted then. I never meant to hurt you." Buffy closes her eyes, tears trailing down her cheeks into her hair.

"Awww… don't cry. Poor slayer, the weight of the world on her shoulders." Willow cooed and ran her fingers through Buffy's hair with mock sympathy. Buffy grimaced and attempted to recoil from the touch. She couldn't move enough to escape the contact. Willow grinned at the completely powerless slayer before her. The slayer who had made her feel so inferior, so worthless. _You were never better than me. Now I have power you could never imagine._

Another explosion rocked the room, much closer than the last one. Buffy's eyes widened as she tried to move her head to look for where her rescuers might enter.

"Don't get your hopes up, no one will find us in here. Not before I can finish the ritual."

Willow moved away from Buffy and sat between the two beds. She placed an urn on the ground in the center of a circle she had drawn in blood. Dipping two fingers into the urn, she coated her fingers in blood and began painting her face and started chanting, calling out to Osiris.

"Willow." Tara's voice softly called. Willow stopped her chanting and quickly stood and moved to her side. Holding her hand and smiling down at her.

"Tara? It's almost over. Save your energy."

"You can't do this. You have to stop." Tara's voice is weak, and she can barely keep her eyes open.

"How can you say that? I need you!"

"You have to let me go. If you do this, I'll never forgive you." Willow backs away from Tara, fury building inside of her.

"No, please, you don't understand. I need you! Osiris will give you back to me! I have to do this!"

Tara frowns and turns away from Willow, her eyes full of tears and her face masked in a grimace that breaks Willow's heart.

"You did this!" She focuses on the blonde slayer. "You turned her against me!" Buffy is screaming as Willow pulses her with dark energy. There's nothing Buffy can do to try and defend herself. Another explosion, this one in the adjacent room. Willow turns her attention to the tunnel and scowls.

_I don't care what she says, once I bring her back, she'll understand, she'll love me again. Even if she doesn't, I'll make her! _Willow is far too gone to see the depths she had fallen to.

**Buffy**

_Faith is so close, I can feel her. I just need to stall Willow, keep her talking._

_"_I didn't do anything to Tara. You know she wouldn't want this." Buffy wished she had spent more time with Tara and learned more about her. The few interactions they had, led Buffy to believe that the witch would never be willing to dabble in death magic. They had briefly discussed their respective mothers' deaths. Buffy hadn't even come close to dealing with the death of her mother. Talking to Tara had given her a small amount of relief.

"You don't know anything about her!" Willow spat back, and Buffy did her best not to cringe.

"You've been controlling her, haven't you? Not letting her think about anything that might get her to question what it is you're doing down here? How did you turn into this monster?"

"Monster! How dare you!" Willow blasts Buffy once again with the dark magic. _Maybe taunting the crazed witch is not the best idea._ Buffy thinks once the pain subsides enough for her to form a thought.

"You claim to love her, but how can you do this to someone you love?" Buffy searches her friends face, looking for any sign that she was getting through to her, but there was no sign at all. If anything, Willow's fury and power seemed to be increasing.

"I have to bring her back! She mine, and I need her." Willow pouts in a very childish way. Buffy oddly sees signs of her best friend in that expression. She quickly shakes any thoughts of the creature in front of her as being her friend and tries to keep Willow distracted as long as possible.

"Do you even hear yourself? You're insane." It's not the most creative response, but it does manage to keep Willow's anger focused - preventing her from completing the ritual.


	13. Chapter 13

**Faith**

"Get this fucking door open!" _I know she's in there, she's still alive. _Nothing was going to stop her from getting to Buffy. She was going to save her.

The soldiers, newly freed from their mind control, turn to Riley for instruction. "You heard her, get it open."

"Charges set, everyone back away."

They retreated and covered their ears, the explosion rocked everyone but Faith to the ground. She was running through the newly created opening before the dust settled. Running full tilt into another room with no clear path to where she knew Buffy was. She walked to the area of the wall where she could sense Buffy the most and reach out, finding that her hand passed right through it.

She pushed her way through the wall without waiting for any of the rest to follow her.

"Hello, Faith." Willow floated in the center of the room, her hair and eyes pitch black.

"What's up, Red? Though I guess I can't call you that anymore. Have to say, I dug your old look a lot more." Faith took in the space, cringing at the sight of Buffy strapped to the table with blood painted on her face.

"Always so cocky," Willow smirked and blasted Faith with energy, slamming her to the ceiling and dropping her to the floor.

"Willow please, you have to stop doing this." Buffy's voice was weak and barely audible.

"Do I? Who is going to make me stop?"

Faith had regained her feet while Willow was distracted and launched herself at the floating witch. Willow only laughed at the attempted tackle and threw Faith back into the wall. This time Faith did not get up right away.

"No! What did you do?" Buffy screamed, thrashing against her bonds, trying to see where Faith landed.

"I'm ok." Faith groaned and rolled over, but did not rise. "Five by five." She choked out the words, hoping to lessen Buffy's worry while fighting to regain control of her body.

Willow floated over to her, "Let's just see what we can do about that." She raised her hands and shot dark energy into Faith, making her scream and writhe. It only lasted a few moments before the energy sputtered out. Willow frowned and dropped to the ground. Looking at her hands with confusion.

"Willow!" Tara rose from her bed and moved towards Willow. "You have to stop. This isn't who you're supposed to be."

"Where did my magic go?" Willow pouts, tears beginning to stream down her face.

"Maybe you don't deserve it." Faith scoffed at her, finally gaining enough of her strength to stand. "Maybe you're not strong enough to have this much power."

"Look who's talking, you murdered people!" Willow spits back.

Faith only laughed, "Are you kidding me? Look at yourself. You're trying to compare what I did to what you've done? What you were planning to do?"

Willow crumbled to the ground, completely drained of all energy. Faith pulled a dagger out of her boot and took a step towards Willow. "Faith!" Buffy cried out. "What are you doing?"

"What I have to. She's too dangerous." Faith moved forward shakily, even though she knew killing Willow was the only option - it did not feel right to her.

Buffy was helpless to stop her, still restrained on the platform. Faith hoped Buffy would eventually understand why this needed to be done. Even though she knew it would end whatever was growing between them, she still had to do it.

Faith knelt down before Willow and Tara. "Let me." Tara reached for the blade.

"Are you sure?" Faith hesitates, she was given explicit instructions that she needed to be the one to take out Willow. She hadn't been too excited about the idea. She couldn't help but be worried about what it would mean for her if she killed another human. If Tara wanted to do it, she wasn't going to stop her.

"Faith! It has to be you." The first appeared as Buffy, hands on her hips, furiously yelling at Faith. "You can't let the witch have that blade!"

"Why does it matter?" Faith held the knife out to the blonde witch who had accepted it and was now feeling its energy.

"You did this!" Tara yells at the First, her demeanor filled with confidence.

The First growls furiously, changing forms several times to people none of them recognized. "You haven't won anything, don't think that you have!" It screeches at them before vanishing in a flash of light.

"Um, want to clue us in?" Faith asks, she was completely confused by this turn of events, but also hopeful that it meant she wouldn't have to kill anyone.

"Where did you get this dagger?" Tara asks, furrowing her brow as she kept her eyes on the weapon.

"Angelus gave it to me, he and the First told me I could use it to take out Willow. They were pretty serious about it being me that used it." Faith frowned, guessing that she had been duped and hating herself for it. _How do I keep letting myself get tricked into doing bad things? At least this time, I didn't realize what I was doing was wrong. I guess that's better._

"Did Giles know about this?"

Faith thought about it, "No, Angelus gave it to me on our way back here. Shit, I should have known." Faith groaned and moved to release Buffy from her restraints. The blonde slayer sat up, rubbing her wrists which were slightly irritated from the bonds.

"So what is that thing? What do we do now?"

Tara sat quietly for a second. Faith was about to repeat her question before Tara spoke again. "If you had used this knife on her, it would have killed you and let her drain all your power. She would have gained the essence of the slayer, preventing a new one from being called."

"Those fuckers!" Faith screamed, starting to head towards the exit, fully intent on finding Angelus and ending him.

"Faith! Wait." Buffy calls out and runs to her. Gently turning her around. "We need to stick together, please. I can't lose you again." Her voice was soft, and Faith wanted to give into it, wanted to believe that the emotion was real.

_It can't be real. There's no way she cares about me. She just needs me to help deal with this Willow shit. I'll stick around until this is over, then I'm gone. _Faith shook her head, but she stayed.

"What happens when she wakes up?" Buffy turned back to the witches.

"She shouldn't wake up for a while. I sorta snuck a pouch into her pocket when I attacked her. It's why her power stopped working. Glad they didn't lie to me about that too."

Tara looked down sadly at Willow, whom she clearly loved deeply. "I think I can change the enchantment on this blade. If I do it right, it will expel the First's corruption from her. It should turn her back into the Willow she used to be."

"That doesn't sound like too sure of a bet. What happens if it doesn't work? Plus won't someone still have to stab her with it?" Faith was losing her hope that this was going to end without her having to get her hands bloody.

"It shouldn't require actual stabbing, and I'm still going to do it. Do you think it's safe to get out of here? I need some supplies."

"It should be good. The soldiers are free of their mind control. Riley was in charge and seemed to want to help."

Buffy moved to pick up the unconscious Willow, she carefully cradled her to her chest and followed Faith through the tunnel, Tara following closely behind.

"Faith? Is it over?" Riley asked as soon as she appeared through the tunnel. With Willow drained of her magic and unconscious, the glamour had faded, and they could now see the path that led to the secret lab. He frowned when he saw that Willow was still alive.

"It's not quite over, but it's safe for now." Faith shrugged, she wanted to appear calm and confident. Not letting it show that she was still completely freaked out.

"Do you need us to do anything?"

"I don't think so, just make sure we have a clear path. Tara needs to get to her supplies so we can finish this."

"It's all clear."

"You might want to double-check all the entrances. We pissed off the First. It might be planning an attack."

"Got it." Riley nodded and ordered his men to keep an eye on surveillance. Faith had told him of the secret path through the tunnels, which he sent several soldiers to guard.

"When did you get to be so in charge?" Buffy playfully asked, grinning at the dark slayer. "I like it," Buffy whispered and winked at Faith as she walked passed with Willow.

Faith rubbed her shoulder, nervously, embarrassed by Buffy's overt and very inappropriately timed flirting. Tara chuckled as she walked passed. "You might not want to believe it. But it's real."

Faith looked over at the blonde witch confused. "What are you talking about?"

Tara only shrugged and kept walked to keep up with Buffy. _What the hell was that about? Can she read minds or something? Do I even care if it's real? This isn't the time to be thinking about any of this!_

**Buffy**

"What's going to happen to you after you use the dagger on Willow?" Buffy asked Tara as they walked side by side. She was clutching Willow tightly, cradling in her arms and trying not to think about what her friend had been trying to do.

"What should have happened already. I'm not supposed to be here."

Buffy frowned, she had grown to like Tara and didn't want to her die. "There's no other way?"

Tara smiled sadly. "It's ok. It's how things are meant to be. You'll have Willow, together the three of you will be able to end this war. The balance in the world will begin to restore."

They reach the second floor, and Tara leads them to her's and Willow's room. Buffy places Willow on the bed and steps away. "Do you need anything? Should we stay or go?"

Tara moved to sit beside Willow, holding her hand. She sighed sadly and returned her attention to the two slayers. Buffy was confused as to why the girl wasn't answering and why she seemed to be watching them so intently, or at least the space in between them. Her expression was unreadable, and Buffy began to worry.

"Tara? Is everything ok? I guess that's a stupid question… But you know what I mean." Buffy shuffled around nervously. There were so many things to worry about still. She couldn't help mostly being worried that Faith was going to leave. Faith had barely entered the room and kept glancing at the door.

Tara stood up and moved over to the desk against the wall, sliding open several drawers until she found what she was looking for. "I want to show you both something." She motioned for them to come closer, Buffy moved without hesitation. Faith, on the other hand, glanced at the door one more time before shrugging her shoulders and moving closer. Tara held out a large blue crystal, "you should both touch it."

Buffy touched it first, having complete trust in Tara. Once her fingertips reached the cool material, her eyes widened. "Wow! Is this what you see all the time?" She looked around the room in wonder. The swirling trails of energy surrounding her and Faith, she could see how they reached and intertwined with each other. Buffy's energy was a swirl of light reds and dark blues, while Faith's were darker reds and deep greens. She was in awe of how they danced around each other.

She looked at the still form of her once best friend on the bed with a little shock. There were several shades of light blue and green, but there was also a swirling of black dancing on the edges, pushing its way in. The lighter colors swirled and were drawn to Tara, whose own vivid swirl of energy seemed to embrace. The auras of the witches glowed brightly, but nothing compared to what surrounded the slayers.

"Did you not see that before? That darkness... is it the First?" Buffy almost whispered.

Tara sighed, looking over at the red witch. "I saw it. I just couldn't accept what it meant. Anytime I seemed to doubt Willow or worry that something wasn't right… well, you saw what happened." Buffy nodded, confirming that whatever magic was keeping her alive wouldn't allow her to question Willow.

Faith was finally getting annoyed at being left out, reached over to add her hand to the crystal. "What the hell is that?!"

"It's what our auras look like. Tara can see them naturally." Buffy couldn't help but stare at Faith. She looked amazing bathed in the colorful lights. She could see her own energy brighten as she watched Faith.

Faith slowly placed her hand back on the crystal. "I feel like I'm on an acid trip or something." She grumbled.

Tara chuckled, "it can seem like that sometimes."

After a few more moments, the slayers removed their hands. "Thanks for showing us that, it's very cool." Buffy smiled at Tara. _I wish I'd had the chance to know her better. She seems like an amazing person. I'm glad Willow had her in her life, even if it wasn't for as long as it should have been. _She felt sadness and guilt sweep through her, knowing that if things hadn't have gone so wrong, Tara might not have had to die.

"It's not your fault. It's very likely I would have died when I did, even if you were there."

"How did you die?"

Tara frowned, "I don't exactly remember. I know it wasn't a magical death, I think… I think someone shot me."

Buffy's eyes widen with shock, she had been expecting an answer but that. "Why would anyone shoot you?"

"I don't know, maybe Willow will." Tara frowns, gripping the crystal tightly in her hands. "Here, you can keep this. Willow will be able to recharge it for you if you ever want to try it again." She slipped the crystal back into its pouch and handed it to Buffy.

"So, what happens now?" Faith asks, back to anxiously migrating towards the exit.

"I guess it's time to say goodbye. It should take about an hour for me to prepare everything."

"Then Willow will be OK?" Buffy asks, "and you'll be…"

"Willow will be ok, and I'll be where I'm supposed to be." Tara wrapped Buffy in a hug. "I don't know how much she'll remember. It might be really hard for her at first. She's going to need both of you to help her through this." Tara looks pointedly at Faith.

"What does she need me for? We were never friends."

"Buffy, why don't you go wait in your room. I need to talk to Faith." Buffy reluctantly backs away from Tara. Hoping that whatever Tara needs to tell Faith will convince her to stay, but not wanting to be overly optimistic. She has to push her way passed Faith who had planted herself in the doorway. "I'm pretty sure she won't bite," Buffy comments to Faith, wanting to laugh at the stiff and scared dark slayer.

Faith twitches at the comment, seeming to realize how tensely she had been standing and tried to relax. Buffy only grins and heads down the hall. Hoping that this wasn't the last thing she would ever get to say to Faith.


	14. Chapter 14

**Tara**

Now that Willow had been drained of her magic, Tara felt more alive and more powerful than she can remember. She had no idea what Willow had done to her to keep her in this somewhat alive state. It hurt her immensely to see her love had turned into this. Tara knew her time was short, and she had to do what she could to make sure Willow could recover from what happened and have some chance to set the world right.

With Willow no longer in control of her magic, Tara could feel that whatever was binding her to this plane was slipping away. Memories started to pour in, all the times she started to question what Willow was doing, even before she had died. Snippets of fights over magic that they had and then was magicked into forgetting. Her heart burned as she thought of what Willow had been willing to do to her. Even remembering all that Willow had done, she couldn't help herself, she still loved her. She still believed that Willow was capable of great things and would be needed to help the world recover.

Tara watched Faith standing by the door, her body tense. Anxiety and fear radiating from her. _She's so lost and confused. She's so sure that she has no value that she can't even accept that people might want her in their lives. That she might have value beyond what her body can offer them. How can I possibly convince her how important she is?_

"Willow told me a lot about you. Or at least her version of you." Tara never believed that Willow lied about anything she said about Faith. She only knew that Willow never took the time to consider why Faith had done the things she had done. Willow was too willing to believe that Faith was evil and not worthy of consideration. Tara had tried a few times to get Willow to think about these things, but it never ended well.

"So you know why having me around when Red wakes up, isn't a great idea. Even if she's not evil anymore, she's still going to hate me."

"I know why you might think that." Tara sat back down on the bed. "What I showed you is a very small glimpse of how much I can see. Those colors you could see show the strongest surface emotions a person is feeling. They don't tell you everything though." Tara doesn't know the details of what had happened to Faith, but she could see the pain. She could also see how strong Faith was, how much she had overcome.

Faith is even more nervous now, continuing to lean towards the door, her desire to escape is clear.

"You're not evil."

"What?"

"You are not evil, never were."

"You don't know anything about me."

"I know more about you than you do." Tara frowned, "If you don't stop backing out of this room, you're not going to like what happens." Tara stands, her posture and tone changing significantly.

"You're threatening me now?" The threat was not well received, Faith focused on her anger and took an aggressive step towards Tara.

Tara sighed and dropped back down to the bed. "Faith, I don't have a lot of time here. Just stop trying to run away while I explain things to you."

Faith looks back to the door one more time and then slowly nods. She moves forward into the room enough to lean against the door crossing her arms over her chest. "Get to the point, then."

Tara shook her head and looked sadly over at Willow. "I love Willow, with my everything. When she wakes up, she's going to be devastated. Not just because she lost me, but because of everything that she did to get me back. Things she did even before I was killed." Tara looked up, keeping eye contact with Faith. "I know this isn't fair of me to ask. But you have to be here to help her through this."

"That's beyond not fair. It doesn't even make sense. Why would I be able to help her? B was her best friend. She's the one Red is going to need."

"Buffy won't understand. She's never been driven to do things she knew was wrong."

Faith chuckled, "Did Willow forget to tell you how we ended up in this mess in the first place?"

"Nobody knows the details of what happened, you both disappeared before anyone could explain it." Tara shrugged.

"Well, I'll tell you then. B fucking stabbed me!" Lifting up her shirt to show the wound, Tara hid her surprise at the news. Knowing Faith was using this to fuel her anger, Tara couldn't afford to let Faith be angry right now. "She was going to kill me and feed me to her boyfriend. I think she might understand more about darkness than you think!" Faith has taken several steps forward, her anger radiating from her.

Tara kept her face calm as Faith yelled at her. "How did you get away?"

"I…"

"She let you go," It was a statement, not a question.

Faith sighed and ran her hand through her hair, "Yeah, she did."

"Do you know why she let you go?"

Faith shrugged and shifted her feet, casting her eyes down. Tara can feel the waves of shame and confusion pouring out of Faith.

"You saw how your auras were intertwined. You can't see it now, but I still can. Your energies are linked, they're reaching for each other. Even when you left here, your energies still reached out, searching to find contact with the other."

"So? Did you forget the part where she stabbed me? Where she was going to kill me?" Tara can tell Faith is trying to focus on her anger, she's still not willing to believe anything good can be real for her.

Tara stood up and put her hands on the slayer's shoulders. "You should go to her. You should try and tap into that energy."

"There's no point. B and me are like oil and water - we'll never mix. We'll always be fighting each other."

"Are you sure about that? Has she been at all aggressive to you or given you any indication that she wants to fight you lately?"

Faith frowns, only shaking her head in response.

"Together you, Buffy and Willow can fix all the mistakes that Willow made. If you leave, there is no hope that things will ever get better out there."

"They don't need me." Faith shakes her head and stuffs her hands into her pockets.

Tara was getting tired, and she had work to do and very little time to do it. "I wish I had more time to help you get to where you need to get to. I know you have no reason to trust me, or anyone else. But maybe you can try trusting yourself. Let yourself accept what's right in front of you." Tara backed away from Faith and sat down at the desk. "You should go now." Tara could only hope that Faith would try, she knew Faith had it within herself to do this, she just had to believe.

**Faith**

_What the fuck was all that about? I should trust myself? I'm the only one I do trust. Anytime I listen to anybody else things get all screwed up. Just look what I almost did believing in Angelus. _Faith exited the room and shut the door behind her, leaning heavily against it. She looked down the hallway to her left, knowing that was the way out. Her body was screaming at her to leave, to get as far away from all this as possible. She didn't want anything to do with Buffy or helping Willow.

Closing her eyes, she remembered what she saw with their auras. She had been mesmerized as they swirled around each other. The way the different colors mixed, almost like they were dancing. It was the most incredible thing Faith had ever seen. More than seeing it, she could feel it. With her eyes closed, she could feel it now, feel it pulling her to the right, towards Buffy. She focused on the tingle of her slayer sense, opening herself up to it. There was sadness radiating from Buffy.

_She expects that I'm going to leave and it's making her miserable. Why do I even want to leave? I have nowhere to go._ Without even realizing it, she had begun to drift down the hallway. Not until she was standing in front of Buffy's door did she become aware of what she was doing. Her connection was still open, and she felt a shift in the energy. Buffy knew she was here, and her sadness turned into a wary excitement.

The door slowly opened before Faith could knock. Faith's heart ached at the hopeful look on Buffy's face. _Why is she looking at me like that? How can she possibly be happy to see me or want me to be around?_ It was impossible to deny the truth of what Buffy was feeling, as much Faith wanted to believe that it was a lie, she knew it wasn't. She did not doubt that Buffy cared for her, she just couldn't imagine why. She wasn't worthy of anyone caring about her.

"I'm not sure what's going to happen when Tara does her thing… but I guess we just wait?" Faith shifted around nervously under Buffy's open staring. Her hands stuffed in her pockets, keeping her distance from the doorway, wanting to be clear that she wasn't going to enter the room.

"Ok, thanks." Buffy backed into her room, "What are you going to do?"

"I was thinking about grabbing something to eat." Faith shrugged.

"Ok." Buffy drops her eyes and starts to close the door.

"Do you want to come with me? We should also probably try to find Giles too, tell him what Tara is going to do."

"Giles is here?"

"He should be with the soldier guys. C'mon lets go talk to him."

Buffy smiled and stepped into the hallway.

"B?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going to leave," Faith felt an extreme shift in Buffy's emotions, so powerful that they scared her, "not until all this stuff with Willow is over." Adding the second part she felt another shift, the elation she felt only moments ago is almost completely erased. It wasn't quite as bad as the hopelessness she was feeling before, but it was close. It hurt Faith immensely that she could be the source of so many emotions in the blonde slayer. She wanted to take it back, wanted to promise that she would never leave Buffy's side so that she could feel that burst of happiness again. She wasn't ready though. It was too scary to think that her presence could mean that much to anyone, never mind the Chosen One.

They walked in silence until reaching the surveillance room that Buffy had been in before. They spotted Giles talking with Riley. Upon seeing Giles, Buffy lit up and ran to him.

"Giles!" Buffy squeals as she wraps the watcher in a slayer hug that had him gasping in seconds. Faith watches the exchange curiously. She can tell the quality of emotions Buffy has for Giles are intense, but they are completely different than what she feels for Faith.

"Buffy, I'm so glad to see you're ok." He had a huge smile on his face. The hug lasts for a few minutes, the soldiers in the room continue to focus on their work. Only Riley seems to have his eyes on the pair. Faith isn't sure she likes the way he's looking at Buffy. _Why is he looking at her like that?_

"What did you do with Willow?" Giles' smile faded as he waited to hear what happened.

"Tara is going to do some kind of mojo and rid of her of the First's influence."

"You left them alone? Are you sure that's wise?" Giles gave them both a startled glance.

Buffy shrugged, seemingly not at all worried about Tara or what she might be planning. "Did you know Tara?"

He nodded, "Briefly. She was a sweet girl and a very talented witch."

"Was she trustworthy?"

"A lot has happened since I knew her. I can't possibly speak to her character now. We also have no idea what Willow has done to her."

"Speaking of people who are trustworthy… where is Angelus?" Faith asked, feeling that this conversation is pointless. If Tara was going to betray them, it was already too late. There was nothing any of them could do to stop either of the powerful witches.

"I'm not sure. He disappeared not too long ago. Why?"

"He tried to trick me. Gave me a dagger to kill Willow. Tara said it would have killed me and made Willow even more powerful if I had used it. The First showed up, and it was pretty pissed. Makes me think they were working together."

"What did this dagger look like?"

"It was kinda plain, nothing too fancy about it. Tara seemed to think it was enchanted." Faith shrugged. She was starting to feel anxious, now that the connection to Buffy was so open, she couldn't keep control of what she was feeling. The pang of jealousy she felt when Riley looked at Buffy was confusing her. It was too much emotion. She needed to do something. She just wasn't sure what she needed to do.

"Tara said it would be about an hour. We're going to grab some food and check on them in a bit." Faith took Buffy's hand and pulled her into the hallway. Ignoring the confused looks from everyone in the room.

Willow

_It hurts, it hurts so much. Why does everything hurt?_ Willow was thrashing in her bed, vaguely aware of a figure standing over her. She knew the essence of the figure and was comforted by it. As she began to understand what the voice was saying, she started to feel less comforted. Painful memories returned to her, remembering when she saw Tara die, the blood spreading across her shirt. Her lifeless body dropping to the ground. Remembering searching endlessly for ways to bring her back. Remembering tracking down the human who took her loves life and ending his. Her mind reeled against the memories, all the anger and pain pressing on her.

"It's ok. You're going to be OK. It's going to be hard, but you'll be OK. I have to go, you have to let me go." Let her go? I can't let her go! How can she ask me to do that? Tara's voice became more and more clear, as she repeated the words. "I know you don't want to, but you have to. You have to let me go. My time is over, you will learn to live without me. You have to. Promise me that you'll let me go." Willow can hear the pain in Tara's voice, and she knows she has to listen. She has to promise. She opens her mouth, but no words come out.

She felt something being pressed into her hand and an unpleasant sharp pain on her cheek.

"Let them help you. I will always love you."

It's the last thing she heard as she shot awake, sitting up abruptly. Groaning at the brightness of the room. She scanned the room for her love, quickly discerning that Tara was gone. She panicked as she sat upright on the bed, hoping that it was all just a dream.


	15. Chapter 15

**Faith**

The slayers walked side by side from the surveillance room to head to the dining hall. Faith was starting to lose control of the emotions she could feel from Buffy, having a difficult time discerning which ones were her own. They were almost to their destination when Faith suddenly found herself pinning Buffy to the wall and kissing her deeply, Buffy eagerly returning the kiss. After a few moments, Faith broke the kiss but did not move her body away.

"Not that I'm complaining, believe me, I am not… but what is this about?" Buffy asked once she recovered her breath.

"Sorry, I don't know… Tara did something…" _Why did I do that? I didn't mean to do that! _Faith warred with herself internally. _It felt so good though. It still does, her body against mine. It feels so right, so perfect._

"You don't ever have to apologize for kissing me." Buffy grinned, her hands were on Faith's hips, holding her securely close. Faith was leaning heavily against her. "What did Tara do to you?"

"Maybe she didn't do anything exactly, she just said I could tap into the energy between us, and somehow I did, but now I can't shut it off."

"I was hoping she'd get a chance to show us how to do that. Do you know how you did it?"

"I'm not sure. I just tried remembering what she showed us and opened myself to our slayer connection, and I could feel you when you were in your room. It became more than just the usual tingles letting me know where you were. I could feel what you were feeling."

Buffy pouted for a second, "So is this about what I'm feeling or about what you are?"

"I don't know." Faith frowned.

"Oh." Buffy released her grip on Faith and pushed her away gently.

Buffy

Faith backed to the other wall of the hallway and leaned against it. Buffy closed her eyes and tried to open her connection to Faith. Remembering what the swirling energy looked like, imagining she could still see it. Something started to change. She could feel Faith's emotions. There was an undercurrent of confusion and desire. But fear was the strongest thing she felt.

Buffy blinked back tears, "What are you so afraid of?" The words were barely a whisper.

"I don't even know." Faith confessed.

Their discussion was disrupted by the sound of a scream.

"Willow!" The slayers quickly broke apart and ran towards Willow's room. Opening the door without knocking.

"She's gone." Willow didn't even seem to notice them at first. She was sitting upright on the bed. Her knees pulled to her chest. She was rocking and repeating the phrase over and over, tears streaming down her face. Buffy quickly moved to her side and wrapped her in a hug. The contact shocked Willow out of her stupor. "Buffy? What? You're here… what happened?" She sees Faith in the doorway, and her eyes widen for a second and then calm. She looks down at the paper in her hand. "It's real. Everything she said was real."

Buffy can hear the thundering of footfalls in the hallway. Four large uniformed soldiers appeared in the doorway. "You're coming with us." The lead man says, entering the room.

"Like fucking hell, she is." Faith jumps in the path and pushes the man back. He crashes into the other three knocking them all into the hallway.

"She's too dangerous to be free!" The man shouts and attempts to push past Faith again, only to be met with the same reaction. The man scowled at the small woman in front of him, not comprehending how she could be so much stronger than him.

"Where is Riley?" Buffy asks, "isn't he in charge here still?"

The leader crosses his arms over his chest and reluctantly nods. The yelling and crashing attracted more soldiers who were all crowded in the doorway attempting to understand what was happening. They made space for Riley once he arrived, waiting and hoping they would get a chance to exact justice on the witch.

"You have to let us take her. She's dangerous." Riley says as he enters.

"She's not dangerous anymore." Faith replies.

"How do you know that?" He narrows his eyes at Faith. Buffy could feel the confidence oozing out of her, and maybe a hint of something else. _Is she jealous of Riley? Why on earth would she be jealous of him?_

"You all not being piles of glop on the floor right now, is one clue." Faith answers, keeping herself between Willow and the soldiers.

"You weren't here. You don't know what she did! We are taking her, and you can't stop us!" Riley is in Faith's face. Faith is not at all intimidated by his posturing. She has a casual smirk, her arms folded over her chest, as if there isn't a man twice her size threatening her with bodily harm and shouting at her.

"She doesn't even know what she did. Just like she was controlling you, something was controlling her. Locking her up isn't going to make anything better." Buffy insists. Riley's face softens as he looks at the very distressed witch.

"How about she stays in here unless one of us is with her? You can post guards out there or whatever." Faith offers.

Riley grunted and turned away, clearly not happy about how this encounter went. "You have to let us do something!" The original guard yelled at Riley as he tried to leave the room.

"Do I? Either she's still evil, and she kills you where you stand, or she's good again, and you're going to punish an innocent girl." Riley held his ground, "Which one of those options do you prefer?" The man looked away, disappointment evident on his face. The soldiers were dispersing now, hearing what Riley had said and understanding the truth of it. Giles was finally able to push past the soldiers and make his way into the room. He closed the door behind him.

He cautiously examined Willow and the slayers. "How is she?"

"It's hard to tell. She hasn't said much." It's now that Buffy sees the letter clutched tightly in Willow's hand. She gently pried and free and examined it. Scanning the contents, she handed it to Giles. Giles read it just as quickly and handed it to Faith.

"Trust Faith and Buffy. I'll always love you. - Tara" Faith grunted and looked at her feet. Buffy could feel the confusion and embarrassment Faith was feeling at being included in the note. She did her best to push supportive, positive feelings through their connection. Delighted when she could tell it was working, Faith shoulders pulled back, and a small smile reaches her lips.

"Willow?" Giles called out cautiously.

Willow looked up at the sound of his voice with confusion. "Giles? What happened? What did I do?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"I was searching for Buffy. I had found this spell it was supposed to find her and bring her back." She pouted, looking down at her hands in confusion. "Did it work? It must have! You're here!" Willow lit up and finally noticed that Buffy was holding her and returned the embrace.

"It didn't exactly work as you think." Giles frowned.

"What did happen?" Buffy asks, afraid to learn the answer.

"I don't know, I'm afraid. I wasn't there. I had returned to England. I didn't even know she was still trying to find you."

Buffy's face fell. She had assumed Giles had been working with Willow. Hearing that he must have given up on her was devastating. Faith was by her side as soon as the feelings began to overwhelm her. Wrapping her arms around Buffy and Willow while giving Giles a scathing look. "You gave up trying to find her? How could you do that?"

"I didn't give up! I was working with a coven in England. They were trying to find you. Had I know Willow was trying too we could have worked together. Maybe…" He trails off, rubbing his brow in frustration.

"You left Willow alone to protect the Hellmouth?" Buffy's voice is soft, trying to believe that he didn't give up on finding her, but still upset that he could have left Willow alone.

"It wasn't his fault. Once you were gone, things were hard. We grew apart. I was so sure of myself and my magic. I wouldn't have listened to him anyway." Willow moves to sit more upright, pulling herself out of Buffy's grip.

**Giles**

Giles moves to sit at the desk, suddenly feeling very tired. He looks at the trio on the bed, wondering how this could be happening. He was grateful to have Buffy back. He was less sure about Faith. Though Faith hadn't shown any signs of being anything other than upstanding. It was curious how different Faith appeared to be. He was shocked to see that not only was she comforting Buffy, but that Buffy was accepting that comfort, almost seemed to need it.

Nobody knew what happened to them the night they both disappeared. Since no new slayer had been called, they believed that they were both still alive. They had assumed that Faith had done something terrible to Buffy. They just had no idea what it could have been. Angel had been saved, so they knew he had fed from at least one of them, they just couldn't imagine how the events took place. Angel seemed to think it was Buffy he had fed from, but he was so distraught he was not making a lot of sense when he tried to explain what happened. They had lost touch shortly after, and when he returned as Angelus, there did not seem to be much point in trying to get an explanation. He should have asked Faith about it, but he didn't trust her to be truthful about what happened.

"What happened to you two? Where have you been?" Giles asks.

The slayers exchanged a nervous glance and Faith released her grip, backing away slightly but not moving from the bed. Her face was tight, and she gripped her hands in her lap.

Buffy sighed deeply before answering, "We fought, I stabbed her, she got away. I went to Angel, and he drank from me. The next thing I remember is waking up in a weird cell with Faith. After what only seemed like a few days, we woke up here with Willow, telling us three years had passed."

Giles' eyes went wide with shock at the information. _Buffy stabbed Faith? How could I have let that happen? If what they say is true, how are they so friendly? Only a few days have passed after attempting to kill each other. There must be more they're saying._

"But…" He started.

**Willow**

"Why are you two so close?" Willow snaps, suddenly becoming aware of the fact that Faith had been holding Buffy and even more alarming was that Buffy didn't seem to mind. Her last memories of Faith were not good, and she had spent all this time being sure that Faith had done something terrible to Buffy. She was not at all ready to let her anger and hatred of the dark slayer go. It was much easier to focus on hating Faith than it was to think about all the mistakes she'd made herself.

"Being trapped in that cell finally gave us a chance to talk to each other. Then when we got here, Tara helped us tap into our slayer connection."

"Tara?" Willow scrunched her face in confusion. "How…" Willow's eyes widen in shock. She could suddenly see the slayers' auras. It was completely overwhelming, and she didn't understand what she was seeing. She jumped from the bed, keeping her eyes locked on the space surrounding the slayers.

"What just happened? Are you ok?" Buffy looks up.

"I can see… oh… Tara." Willow's heart ached, and she slumped to the ground, her legs failing her. Covering her face with her hands and crying uncontrollably._ Tara was dead long before they got here. What did I do? Did I resurrect her? Oh goddess! I couldn't have! No! What did I do?_

"Did you get her magic? You can see our auras now?" Buffy moved to Willow's side again, holding her closely.

Willow nodded sadly.

"What are we going to do now? There has to be something we can do about all this." Faith jumps up from the bed and begins pacing. Willow can feel the agitation rolling off of her in waves. _Is this what Tara felt all the time? How did she manage to keep everyone's emotions separated from her own? I should have tried to understand more about what she saw_. Another wave of grief struck her, remembering all the mistakes she made even before Tara was killed. Knowing there was nothing she could do to undo all the damage she had done. She curled herself into Buffy's arms, too weak and broken to do anything else.

Buffy picked Willow up and placed her back on the bed. Buffy turned to Faith and Willow could see a push of vibrant colors emanating from Buffy and reaching for Faith.

"Stop doing that!" Faith yelled at Buffy, which made everyone in the room jump.

"Sorry... I didn't mean…" Buffy frowned and backed away. Faith groaned and rolled her eyes, fists balled up at her sides.

Faith took a few calming breaths, "I know you were just trying to help, I'm just not used to this."

Willow watched the exchange with confusion. She could see the swirling energies between the two slayers but did not yet understand what they meant. She didn't see anywhere near the intensity of energy surrounding Giles. Whether that was due to him not being magical or something else, she had no way of knowing. She had focused all her magical studies on finding Buffy. No matter how much Tara tried to reach her and get her to learn more about magic, she just wouldn't listen.

"The first thing we need to do is figure out how to close the Hellmouth." Giles offers, apparently ignoring the curious exchange between the two slayers. "I have been researching for many months on ways to do this, and I have a few ideas. With Willow's help, it may now be possible."

"What do you need? What can we do?" Faith's nervous energy seemed to fade with the prospect of actually being able to take action.

Willow narrowed her eyes, a thought occurring to her. Tara's note said to trust Buffy and Faith. She did not mention Giles. She focused her attention on the energy around Giles and noting the differences between his and the slayers. It was far less intense, but it was also less organic and natural. The hues also seemed to be darker. She didn't have enough information to decide what any of it meant, but she decided she would be cautious of Giles and anything he suggested until she learned more.

She suddenly felt exhausted. "I need to rest."

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Buffy offered.

"No, I just need some time."

"Can you mojo the door, make sure those soldiers don't mess with you?"

Willow nodded and motioned for them to leave. Once she was alone, she whispered a quick passage, the door glowed lightly for a second. No one would be able to enter without her permission. She sighed and dropped to the floor. Curling into a ball and letting her exhaustion and sadness overtake her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Buffy**

Buffy, Faith, and Giles head to the dining hall. Faith was anxious, Buffy could sense her extreme agitation and desperately wanted to send her support and comfort, but she resisted. It wasn't fair to try to manipulate Faith's emotions, and she knew it.

"What are we going to do with Willow?" Giles asks once they are settled at one of the tables.

"Do?" Buffy raises an eyebrow at her watcher.

"There must be consequences for her actions."

"What would you suggest? Can you make more of whatever Faith used to take her powers away?"

"We can try that. However, I fear that was only as effective as it was because she was sharing her life force with Tara."

"You sent Faith in there not knowing if it was even going to work?"

"There wasn't much choice, B. I had to try to stop her."

Buffy frowned, trying to suppress her rage at all that had happened. "So if that won't work, what else can we do?"

"I don't have the resources to bind her powers. Nor do we have the ability to contain her any other way."

"Ok, so what then? Are you suggesting we use her to help seal the Hellmouth and then kill her?"

"I'm not suggesting anything, only pointing out that we have to be aware of how dangerous she is."

"And why is she so dangerous anyway? How could you have just abandoned her? Why didn't the council send someone to help keep things safe in Sunnydale?"

"I don't know. I lost touch with the council. They blamed me for your disappearance and were very unhelpful in trying to locate you. They focused their resources on finding potential slayers and training them, hoping to find a way to reactivate the slayer line."

"I really do not like them." Buffy frowns and sits back in her seat.

"Yes, well. I have always found the council's methods to be flawed." Giles looks away.

Buffy and Giles had both stopped eating, only poking at what was in front of them.

"I need to go back to the mansion for supplies." Giles finally says.

"I'll go with you. Angelus might still be out there." Faith offers, talking with her mouth full. Buffy does her best to suppress her disappointment and fear at this idea. She can tell she didn't do a great job when Faith gasped, causing her to choke briefly on her food. "Don't worry, B. We'll be back."

Buffy frowns, she was burning with sadness. Knowing all the people who were dead because of her mistakes, she could barely contain the pain she was feeling. _This is all my fault, and after saving Willow, we might have to kill her anyway._

"Hey, it's ok. It's not all your fault. You didn't do this." Faith offers Buffy a comforting hug, and Buffy leans into it. Sighing deeply.

"Something more must have happened between you two? You said Tara helped you tap into your slayer connection. What does that mean exactly?"

Buffy shook her head sadly at the memory of Tara and tried to focus herself on the present. "We don't know. I've always felt a tingling around Faith, letting me know where she is. But now, it's so much more. I can feel her emotions, and I seem to be able to send emotions over the link to her." Faith's only contribution to the explanation was a slight nod.

"Curious," Giles replies, looking at the two women thoughtfully.

"Giles, what is this spell you planning to do?" Buffy asks, doing her best to control her emotions and keep focused on finding a way to stop the First.

"Right now, the Hellmouth is open. Demons can pass into our world at will. Additionally, the proximity effects you once felt in the high school have escalated severely. Many of the terrible things that have happened are because humans were influenced to take evil actions. The spell will close the Hellmouth and reduce the effects of its evil influence. Hopefully, it will also banish the first."

"Only hopefully?"

"I don't know precisely what spells Willow performed. It is difficult to predict what will happen."

Faith finished her packet and rose from the table. "Let's get a move on, G."

Buffy watched with apprehension as the pair left. She could feel Faith's excitement at getting a chance to get outside and possibly fight something. Frowning, she gathered herself and headed to the training room. Hoping to burn off some of her excess energy and focus on something other than Faith for a while. She entered the training room and surveyed her options. There were several punching bags and wooden dummies, along with all types of weight training equipment. She decided to do some stretching and other warm-ups before testing herself. After only a few minutes, she felt a familiar sensation approaching from behind.

"Back already?"

"Never left, we checked surveillance before going - guess Angelus didn't want Giles to get back into the mansion. It was a lot on fire."

"How is Giles going to find what he needs now?"

"Not sure, he's checking out what they have here." Even if Buffy couldn't tell what Faith was feeling, her agitation was evident. Getting worked up to fight and then not being able to, did not make for a happy slayer.

"Spar?" Buffy offers.

Faith grinned and stalked towards Buffy. She stood casually, waiting to see what Faith would do. Faith feinted right and punched out with her left. Buffy was surprised but managed to deflect the blow and keep her feet. The aggressiveness of the first attack, letting her know that Faith wasn't planning on holding back.

Buffy launched a series of punches, which Faith dodged and parried - jabs meant to put Faith on the defensive and not give an opportunity to attack. When Buffy thought she had the advantage, she went for a leg sweep. Faith had been ready though and leaped over the attack, simultaneously punching out and managing to clip Buffy on the shoulder, spinning her. As Faith landed, she went for her own leg sweep which caught the off-balance Buffy, and she fell to the ground.

Back on her feet before Faith could even be pleased with her success, Buffy launched another series of punches, this time, varying her efforts. Adding in several blows to Faith's ribs, one of which landed solidly, knocking the wind out of Faith and making her step back. Neither slayer had any awareness of the crowd that had gathered. Several of the soldiers, including Riley, had entered the training room and quickly become entranced by the battle before them.

Buffy did not relent after knocking the wind out of Faith. She punched out again. Faith managed to deflect the blow, grabbing Buffy's wrist and throwing her to the ground. Quickly following the motion with a kick at her head as she tried to rise. Buffy grabbed the leg and flipped her onto her back. Jumping up and pinning Faith to the ground. Trapping her arms to her sides with her legs. "What's the matter? Can't beat me without Willow's help?" Buffy laughed at Faith as she struggled to free herself.

Faith grinned and gave up her struggling. Fighting each other wasn't quite the same as killing demons, but it did relieve some of the ache they both had from not being able to slay.

"What the hell are you guys?" A deep voice calls out to them, breaking the silence.

Buffy leaps off of Faith and stands defensively, and Faith is beside her in an instant. They both calm when they see the soldiers and their look of awe. These were the same soldiers who attempted to imprison Willow not too long ago. The slayers didn't answer, only grinned at each other and walked passed their audience.

Together they walked back in the direction of their rooms. "I'm going to get cleaned up and check on Willow." Buffy offers, "I'll see you later? Maybe Giles will have figured something out." Buffy was worked up after the fighting, and she needed some time away from Faith - knowing that she couldn't or at least shouldn't try to act on her desires again. Faith said nothing as Buffy walked away from her towards her room.

Buffy entered the room and closed the door, leaning against it for a moment. _This is going to be hard. How am I supposed to resist wanting to be with her? Especially when I know at least part of her doesn't want me to. _She could still feel Faith's energy, their rooms weren't all that far apart, and the feelings she was covered in right now are very intense. _I've apparently ignored my feelings since I met her, I should be able to keep doing it now._ Buffy tried to convince herself as she undressed to take her shower.

She entered the shower, leaving the water cold, hoping it would calm her down. It was not working. The sensations seemed to be getting stronger the harder she tried to push them away.

"Cold shower, B? Is it helping?" Buffy is jolted out of her thoughts at the sound of Faith's voice. Faith who was now standing in Buffy's bathroom. Buffy peered at Faith over the edge of the flimsy shower curtain.

"I think you know that it's not," Buffy responded.

Faith smirked, "Well, when you're done with whatever you're doing in there. Maybe we can talk?"

**Giles**

_How could I have thought for a second that Angelus was on the side of good? I should have known he would be up to something. And on top of that allowing myself to be tricked by the First Evil. I have to find some way to undo all the damage that has been done. I made so many mistakes. I failed Buffy and Faith both. I should have tried harder with Faith. Her mistakes were really no different from my own. And then I left Willow alone, even when I knew the girl was treading in dangerous territory. I cannot believe how stupid and arrogant I was. I knew she had power. I should have done more to make sure she wasn't dabbling in dark magic. If I had known sooner that Tara had been killed, maybe I would have been able to stop all this._

Giles sighed and focused his energies on what he could do now to try and improve their situation. He searches through the of books he found in what Riley told him was their library. It was just a spare examination room, lined with books and artifacts. Many of which he realized Willow must have liberated from him at one time or another.

It was clear that someone had taken great care to organize the books, though he wasn't sure if it was Willow or Tara who would have done so. There was a small desk with a light where he sat with what appeared to be the newest books that were added to the collection. He began idly flipping through, not even sure of what he was hoping to find. He quickly realized it was in a language he didn't even recognize and was ready to slam it shut when he noticed one of the pages was loose.

It turned out to be a note someone had added to the book and slid between the pages. He pulled it out gently, eyes widening in shock as he examined it. The pages it was stuck between held two images. One he recognized as an image of the seal which used to protect the Hellmouth. The other was an ornate weapon that he had no clue about. It had a curved ax blade on one end and what appeared to be a wooden stake on the other.

The note said -

Scythe - made for the slayer? Could it be the key to closing the Hellmouth?

There was also a hand-drawn map, the drawing was rough, and he did not recognize or understand any of the landmarks. He continued to search through the pile of books, no longer trying to read them, only looking to see if there were any more notes. He couldn't even be sure who had written it, but it was the closest thing he had found to real information.

**Faith**

Faith exited the bathroom and sat down on the bed, waiting while Buffy finished in the shower. Not being able to help herself, she watched as Buffy dried off and dressed.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Faith blushed and looked away. "Maybe, I shouldn't have come in here."

"You wanted to talk, so let's talk. Everyone is fully clothed now, should be safe for talking."

Faith stood up and faced away from Buffy. "Yeah... I just… I wanted to explain why we can't do this."

Buffy was not at all good at hiding her feelings. When Faith first made her presence known, Buffy's excitement and arousal were clear. Now her sadness and disappointment had taken over, along with a fair bit of anger. The emotions were verging on causing Faith physical pain. She needed to get Buffy to calm down somehow. She had no idea how to deal with her own feelings, nevermind someone else's.

"I'm sorry - I don't mean to be messing with you… I'm just not used to dealing with all this."

"This?"

"Feelings." Faith took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "What do you feel from me?"

"Mostly fear."

Faith frowned a little, "Ok, but how strong is it? Do you have to reach for it? Or is it just there? Can you tell which feelings are yours, and which are mine?"

"It's always there, but just barely. If I focus, it gets stronger and I can sense more feelings. And yeah... I can tell which ones are yours. Why? Is that not how it is for you?"

Faith couldn't seem to bring herself to answer.

"I'm guessing that's a no."

Faith shook her head and looked down at the floor, "your feelings are kinda everywhere."

"Oh." Faith could feel a ripple of sadness from Buffy. "I will try to work on feeling less."

"No... that's not what I'm trying to tell you." Faith stood up and starting pacing.

"My childhood was… difficult. I put all that behind me once I got my power, and I decided I wasn't going to let anyone take anything from me ever again. I decided I was going to be the one in control."

The steady stream of extreme emotions from Buffy seemed to calm a little, giving Faith a chance to remember what she was trying to say.

"I thought if I could act confident and uncaring that it would be true. Most of the stories I told you didn't really happen. I wanted to be the girl who just took whatever she wanted and didn't care how much it hurt everyone else."

"But now….I can't pretend that what I do doesn't matter to anyone." Faith frowned and wrapped her arms around herself. "Or maybe I don't want to pretend. I'm not even sure."

Faith was shaking with fear and confusion. _I only believed one person ever actually cared about me and look how that turned out? How can this be real? But I know it's real. _She groaned in frustration. She had sort of explained herself, but not enough to make Buffy understand. _How can I explain this to her? I know she's not going to go evil or something, but I'm just not worth caring about the way she seems to care about me. I shouldn't have come in here. I don't know what I was thinking._

"Hey, it will be ok. This is all pretty confusing for me too. But we'll figure it out. I'm sorry if I was putting too much pressure on you. I..."

"I know exactly what you were doing. You thought that's what I was. I don't blame you for that. It's who I was trying to be." Faith's tone was soft, she seemed sad and defeated.

"No! I mean maybe a little. But no. It's more that I spent all that time hiding from my feelings, hiding from what I wanted. I didn't want to hide anymore. It's true that I didn't think you would mind, but I never wanted to take anything from you that you didn't want to give me."

Faith looked over at Buffy, wanting to believe her words.

"I just don't understand how you can care about me after everything that happened. The world is a complete mess, just about everyone you ever cared about is dead. It's all completely my fault and yet here you are trying to make me think you care about me. It just doesn't make sense."

Buffy was still for a moment, "I'm not going to get into whose fault this mess is. I think we both know we each made some serious mistakes that ended up with us here." She sighed, and then froze, starting to shake. Faith was by her side in a second, feeling the pain and sadness radiating from Buffy. Her body reacted without a thought, needing to provide comfort to make that feeling go away.

"B? What just happened?"

Buffy gathered herself and pushed Faith away. "Nothing, I just…"

"You just what?"

"I just realized something." She frowned and headed towards the door. "We should go see if Giles found anything. I should check on Willow too. After all this is over, maybe we can talk some more? Whatever happens, I want you in my life. More than that, though, I want you to be happy. Whether you believe it or not, you deserve happiness."

Faith moved in front of Buffy quickly, keeping the door shut. "No, we have to talk about this now."

"No, we don't, you were right. I shouldn't be worried about this right now. We have a world to save."

Faith should have been happy for being told she was right about something, but she wasn't happy at all. She stood blocking the door and replaying their conversation, trying to figure out exactly when Buffy's attitude changed. _She realized that I must not care about her the way she cares about me. All she wants is for me to be happy, and all I keep telling her is that I don't care about her. I do care about her. I just can't figure out why she cares about me._

"Whatever it is that you think you realized… I didn't mean to make you think…"

"It's ok. You didn't do anything, let's just go."

Buffy's pain was making Faith angry now, "No! You're not listening." She shoved Buffy further into the room. "You have no idea what any of this is like for me. No idea what I've been through. I get that you want something from me, and I'm sorry that I don't know how to give it to you. But this isn't fair. I'm trying. I'm trying to be what you want me to be. I just have no idea how to." Faith was yelling now, her rage boiling over.

"I don't want you to be anything other than what you are."

"That's bullshit. You want me to be happy! I don't deserve to be happy! After everything I've done, how can you not see that? You being nice to me? You caring about me? It's too much!"

Buffy's mouth dropped open like she'd been punched in the stomach.

"I can't take feeling how much I'm hurting you on top of all this. I should never have listened to Tara. I should have just left this place."

This time Buffy moved to block Faith from leaving. "You're right. You're completely right, none of this is fair. Ever since…" She paused, "I stabbed you, I've been so confused and scared. I was so afraid of losing you that I didn't even think about what that meant. I'm stupid and selfish."

Faith stared into Buffy's eyes, Buffy was no longer assaulting her with her painful emotions, and Faith finally felt like the only emotions she were feeling were her own.

A knock at the door interrupts them before they can say anything else. Buffy opens the door, to find Giles waiting outside.

"Buffy, I think I may have found some interesting information. I'm heading over to discuss it with Willow. You should both join us."

"OK." Buffy moves to follow Giles, but Faith grabs her hand, keeping her from exiting.

"We'll be right there." Faith says, and Giles nods. She shuts the door and wraps her arms around Buffy.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you were right. I needed to hear it."

"You keep telling me I'm right, and I'm going to start to get a big head." Faith grinned, and so did Buffy. "Can you be patient? Give me some time to figure this all out?

"I thought I was being patient." Buffy smirked a little, "You came in here remember? I was doing fine trying to freeze myself in the shower."

"I did sorta attack you in the hallway earlier too…"

"Sorta." Buffy grinned again. "I'm still not complaining about that."

They stood together for a few more minutes in silence. Faith was starting to feel better. No longer did she feel overpowered by Buffy's feelings, she still had doubts about how Buffy could care for her, but she was no longer quite as afraid of accepting it as she was before.

"We should go see what Giles found out." Faith finally says, releasing Buffy from the embrace.


	17. Chapter 17

**The Keepers**

**"**You should not have done that."

"I barely did anything."

"You are influencing them, making them soft."

"There is nothing soft about either of them. We've done things your way, and we almost lost them both!" She slid her the hood of her burgundy cloak back, wanting to show how angry she was for all that her charges have been through.

"Those things were meant to happen!" The second keeper is not about to be outdone, her blue cloak shimmering as it pulsed with her own strong emotions.

"You can't believe this is how things were meant to be!"

"They need to learn to stand on their own."

"Yes, but why can't they stand on their own together?"

"You are ridiculous! You spent too much time watching over them!"

"And you don't spend enough!"

The blue keeper scowled. "We will never agree on this, but you know there are consequences to interfering!"

"Giving them a few moments of comfort is not going to hurt anything."

"You don't know that."

**Willow**

Willow and Giles are bent over her desk when the slayers arrive. She turns to them and freezes as what she sees overwhelm her.

"So what did you guys find out?" Buffy asks.

Giles turned to them and held up the page showing the image of the slayer weapon. "Do either of you recognize this?"

Buffy gasped slightly, "I've dreamt about that."

Faith gets closer and nods. "Yeah, I've seen that in my dreams too. What is it?"

"We don't exactly know. But it might be what we need to close the Hellmouth."

"Where is it? Let's go get the thing already!" Faith's excitement is clear.

"We don't know where it is. All we have is this." He holds up the hand-drawn map.

Buffy reaches out for the paper, her eyes locked on the image. She turns the page, trying to find a different angle that might make the map make sense. She seems unable to and hands the paper to Faith. Quickly Faith's eyes widen.

"I've seen this." Her face scrunches as she tries to remember. "I don't suppose you guys collected the Mayor's books after killing him."

"We did, but I'm not sure where that would be now." Giles offers, looking to Willow who hasn't spoken yet. She's been listening and observing but had not found the strength to speak.

"Can you guys turn that down?" She finally gasped, closing her eyes and waving her hands in the general direction of the slayers. _How did it get even more intense than it was before?_

"Tara never told you how she controlled it?" Buffy questions, looking guilty about causing her friend pain.

"I didn't realize this is what it was like for her. I never even asked." Willow frowned, once again remembering how awful she had been to Tara.

"She said the more magical someone was, the stronger the auras were. She told me I was made of magic. Faith probably is too. Being around us is probably a lot different than everyone else." Buffy offers.

"I should go, you guys don't need me for this." Faith offers and heads towards the door.

Buffy turned quickly to Faith, "They need you more than they need me right now. You know what that map is." Willow watched as Buffy left, she could still see the intense auras, but it was less. Faith's was spread thinner as it reached for Buffy. She felt guilty for making them separate, but it was a little more comfortable now with only one of them in the room.

"So, where is his stuff?" Faith asked, standing nervously, her hands tucked into her pockets. Her body is leaning in the same direction as her energy. _She probably doesn't even know she's doing that._ Willow sighed, whatever was going on between the two slayers was not important right now.

"That's one of his books." Willow nodded, finally gathering herself enough to pay attention to what was happening.

"Could that have been his note?" Giles asks.

"It's not his handwriting." Faith supplies.

"What else do you know about this map?"

"He said he was working on something for me. I caught him once looking at some papers on his desk. One of them was a bigger version of that."

"Do you think he was trying to find the Scythe for you?"

"Maybe, never got the chance to find out." Faith looked away. Willow could feel the conflicting emotions. _To her the mayor only just died, he must have meant a lot to her._ Faith caught Willow staring, and both their eyes dropped in shame and confusion.

"We should go to the library and see if there is anything else you recognize, Faith." Giles suggests and stands up. "Willow? Getting you out of this room would be good. Maybe being around more people will help you cope with your new magics?"

Willow tensed at the prospect of leaving her room. The only other people available were the initiative soldiers. She didn't remember what she had done to them, but she knew it wasn't good. The energy she read from them would likely be very difficult to handle. "Hey, don't worry Red. That wasn't you. They might be mad at you still, but it wasn't you that did those things."

"I wish I could remember what I did to them exactly."

"It could be better that you can't. At least right now. Once we fix the Hellmouth, it might be easier to deal with what you did." Faith held out her hand to Willow, and she slowly accepted it, letting herself be pulled to standing. _This is so not the Faith I remember. How could she have changed so much? Or were we just so very wrong about what she was like before? Was this change all just Buffy's influence? The strange new connection they seem to have? _She didn't think so, the energies she saw around each slayer were distinctive. She knew when Buffy was sending energy and emotions to Faith, and she wasn't doing that now.

"Who are you?" Willow hadn't meant to ask. She saw a ripple pass through Faith as she must have been warring with how to react to such a blunt question.

"I guess I'm still trying to figure that out. I am only 17, after all." Faith winked, causing Willow to grin despite herself. _Only 17, of course. She's so young. _Willow shakes her head. She feels like she's only 19 herself, but maybe she's 21 now. She doesn't even know. _All this memory loss and time travel is so confusing._

**Faith**

They exit Willow's room, the guards tense up, but let them pass. Faith glares back at them as they move to follow. "We're just going to the library. You don't need to follow us."

"We have our orders." One of the soldiers growls out, trying to put as much menace into his words as possible. Faith can't suppress a chuckle at his posturing. Even with their weapons, they had no chance against her or Willow.

"Don't worry about it, Faith. It'll be ok." Willow says quietly, not able to make eye contact with Faith or the soldiers.

Faith glowers at them but says nothing else. Buffy opens her door as they get nearer. She smiles when she sees Willow out of her room. "More research?"

"Yeah, hoping there is something else in the Mayor's stuff."

"You can come with us." Willow offers, though she can't seem to look in the direction of the two slayers.

"That's ok, not so big on the research." Buffy backs into her room and shuts the door. It takes Faith a moment to move again.

"What happened with you two? I don't understand how things changed so much."

"I don't understand it either."

"She just forgave you for all the things you did?"

"I don't know."

"Is there anything you do know?" Willow's words are sharp and angry.

Faith only laughed, "I get that you don't like me, and I don't blame you. I can't prove to you that things are different, I'm not even sure if they are."

"That's not very reassuring."

Faith can only shrug. "Before Tara left, she told me that she knew more about me than I knew about myself. I don't know what the hell she was talking about, but maybe if you have her magic, you can see it too now?"

"I haven't figured out what any of what I can see means yet."

"You at least know she trusted me."

"Faith! None of this makes sense. You were evil! You were trying to kill each other, and now you're hugging and smiling at each other like you're in love, something had to have happened." The mention of love shocked Faith. She hadn't allowed herself to identify any of the emotions from Buffy as love. Faith had never experienced anything remotely close to love. It wasn't even a real thing in her mind.

"Shouldn't you talk to B about this? It's not like you, and I are gossip buddies."

"Did you do something to her?"

"Fuck you! How can you think that?"

"How can I not? Some kind of evil magic, tricking her into liking you! For all we know, this time-travel stuff is a lie, and you've just been holding her hostage this whole time."

"I would never do anything like that." Faith wonders, could she have done that? If the mayor had asked her to hold Buffy hostage, would she have done it? She knows she wouldn't do that now, but she might have then. _No! Even then, I never would have hurt her like that. I couldn't. I know that I couldn't._

"I don't believe you."

Faith laughs a little, "After all the shit you pulled, you're really going to attack me?"

"I don't remember what I did."

"Maybe not the recent stuff, but Tara mentioned there might have been some stuff before. I bet you remember that."

"What did she say?" Willow stammers out the question.

"Not much, really, only that there was trouble even before she was killed."

Willow scowled.

"Come on. You can't seriously think that I would do something like that to B? I thought you could see our auras."

"I don't know enough about what I'm seeing."

"You never talked to Tara about her magic?" Willow frowns and looks at the floor, tears starting to form. _What happened to her? It sounds like she never took the time to understand Tara at all._

"B spent more time with Tara than I did, maybe she told her something that can help you."

"I just don't understand why you seem so different now."

Faith sighed, "A lot has happened. I can't explain it." _Am I different? Is it just because B seems to care about me? Or is it just this situation? If the first had offered me a deal, would I have taken it? _She rubbed her stomach absently. She couldn't even remember how things had gotten so bad.

Willow scoffed, "You murdered someone, that doesn't just happen."

"Do you think I don't know that? I know what I did was wrong and should never be forgiven."

"But Buffy forgave you."

"I guess when she almost killed me, she realized how it was possible to be driven to some dark places."

"It doesn't seem like the same thing."

"Doesn't to me either."

"So, you don't think you should be forgiven for what you did?" Willow's voice softened a little.

"I really don't." This comment seemed to catch Willow off-guard. She looked away. Faith thought she saw a bit of shame in her expression now.

They finally reach the room that contains all the research material.

Before they can enter, Giles stops them, "Faith? Can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure."

"Willow, why don't you get started, we'll be in momentarily."

The two guards station themselves in front of the door as Willow enters, Faith rolls her eyes at them. She and Giles move down the hallway for a little privacy,

"You're freaking me out a little here, G." She finally says when Giles seems to be taking too long to say whatever it is he wants to say.

"When you two disappeared, we looked all over for you."

"For both of us?"

"Well, we believed you might have …"

"Right, you thought I kidnapped her, kept her tied up in a dungeon somewhere?" Faith wants to be angry at the accusation, but she knows it's completely fair that they could have thought she would have been holding Buffy hostage all this time.

"That's not really the point right now."

"So what is the point?" Faith might not blame them for thinking she could have done something like that, but she's still getting irritated. After being harassed by Willow, she didn't need more of it from Giles. She knew what she did, and she didn't need to be continuously reminded.

"We thought you might have headed back to Boston. We tracked your mother down." Faith had told them that her mother was dead, in her mind, she was. It was the only way she knew to become what she wanted to be.

"Oh." Faith can feel herself starting to lose control. "Whatever she told you was probably total bullshit." Her teeth are clenched, and she can barely get out the words.

"It was evident that she was a very difficult woman."

"Right... difficult." Faith sighs and leans against the wall. "Why are you telling me this?"

Giles removes his glasses and cleans them nervously, "When I was younger I rebelled against my family and what they wanted me to be. My actions cost the lives of several humans. My methods might not have been as direct as yours, but the results were the same."

Faith opens her mouth and then closes it. _That bitch told him I rebelled? Is that what he thinks? That I was just acting out? Not happy with my perfect little life, so I turned to the dark side? _She has no interest in trying to explain what actually happened. Explaining it would require remembering, and she's definitely not going to do that. It's easier to let him think they have something in common. That they're both just rebels, who tread too close to the darkness.

Giles smiles sadly, replaces his glasses and wraps Faith in a warm embrace. "We never should have treated you the way we did."

Faith accepts the comfort of the hug for a moment but then pushes herself away. "It's alright, G. It's what I deserved."

"No, it isn't what you deserved at all." He looks at her sadly. "I was so caught up in Buffy and the council that I never gave you a chance."

"So you think it's your fault that I went all evil?" Faith scoffs, shaking her head. Knowing that it was no one else's fault but her own.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that. Only that I should have seen you for what you are."

"And what is that?"

"A young woman who should have been given support and care. We only called on you when we needed something from you. We never tried to accept or understand you." The look of concern and compassion hits Faith hard. Giles was the closest thing she ever had to a real male role model, as much as she tried to resist, she really did want to believe that he meant what he was saying.

Faith has to fight away the tears that want to form in her eyes. Giles hugs her again, and this time she doesn't resist at all. They embrace for several moments before Faith finally backs away.

"Alright, enough of this mushy crap. We have to find that Scythe and try to set things right."

Giles smiles and follows Faith into the research room.

They find Willow excitedly pouring through one of the books. She starts explaining what she found to Giles, and Faith tunes them out. Searching around for items she might recognize from the Mayor, she finds a box she remembers. She sits down and pulls it into her lap, almost reverently. Opening it slowly, she begins to shuffle through the papers inside. There are a handful of pages all with handwritten notes and diagrams. It was written in a language she didn't know, but she was able to recognize some of the drawings.

Standing up, she hands the pages to Willow and Giles. "I think all this is about the Scythe." They took the papers and began talking excitedly again.

"I can find this." Willow finally says.

"Is it close?"

"Not too far, probably take us a couple of hours to get there."

"Let's get going then!" Faith jumps up and heads for the door.

"Wait, we'll head out in the morning. It will be best to get more rest. We don't know what we'll be facing out there. I need to recover more of my power. We should also coordinate with Riley." Willow says.

Faith frowns, but nods. She can't do this on her own, so she has no choice but to wait for Willow to be ready.

Once Faith returns to her room, she doesn't know what to do with herself. She's pacing, filled with frantic energy. There's too much downtime, too much waiting. She can feel Buffy moving around, emotions swirling around her as she seemed to be wrestling with something. When she sensed Buffy leaving her room, she froze. Frowning when the energy moved away from her room and towards Willow's.

She took the time to reflect on everything Buffy, Willow and Giles have said to her. Trying to decide what it all meant. She knew without a doubt that Buffy cared about her. Giles had also shown in his way that he did too. Willow didn't seem too interested in forgiving her, but with all that Willow had done, she realized that they had more in common than the witch was probably ready to accept.

_Why didn't I just kill Willow when I had the chance? I could have so easily. No one could have stopped me. But I never wanted to, even after I knew all she had done, I didn't think she deserved to die. I thought she deserved a chance to fix the mistakes she had made. _Faith, for once felt like there was hope for herself.


	18. Chapter 18

**Buffy**

Buffy stands nervously in front of Willow's door. There's so much going on, that she can't even decide what to think about. Holding her breath, she knocks and waits for Willow to open the door."Willow? Can we talk?"

"I figured you'd be with Faith right now." Willow's face showing that she still held serious contempt for Faith and wasn't at all ready to give her a chance.

Buffy does her best to ignore the question and the dirty look and enters the room, trying to hold on to her original plan of gaining comfort and strength from her best friend. The look on Willow's face made her lose sight of that.

"I heard some of what you said to Faith in the hallway," Buffy says quietly.

Willow scowls. "So? Was anything I said wrong? Do I have any reason not to doubt her or to question how the hell you two are so friendly now?"

Buffy sighs, she didn't mean to come in here and attack Willow. She had just wanted to spend some time with her friend and maybe learn more about Tara. Willow's snide comment about Faith set her off. It was also more than a little difficult to forget that Willow had been very close to killing her not too long ago. "I know you haven't figured out Tara's powers yet. But she told you that you could trust Faith."

"Only because she didn't know her." Willow scowled in reply. Buffy rolled her eyes. She didn't know how to explain that Faith was different now. She knew with every fiber of her being that it was true, even if Faith didn't, even if no one else did.

"Was Tara ever wrong about people before?"

Willow frowned but shook her head.

"Faith was supposed to kill you."

"What?" Willow took a step back and held her hand to her chest in shock.

"You had to be stopped. You were going to..." She shakes her head. "I don't even know exactly. But the point is, she stopped you. She could have killed you easily, but she didn't. She gave you another chance."

"Why?"

"You'll have to ask her about that."

Willow frowned but said nothing in response.

"I know that it doesn't make sense. I can't possibly explain it. I always felt a connection to Faith. I just couldn't accept what it was. Now that I have…" Buffy smiles just thinking about what it's like to have Faith near her. "We can feel each other. We can send emotions through our connection."

"I think I saw that happen. Faith didn't seem too happy about it."

"She's still struggling with believing anyone could ever care about her."

Willow sighs, "we didn't give her much of a chance, did we?"

"No, we really didn't. I can't even believe it. Faith was all alone, how could we have just left her like that?" Buffy frowns, she had always felt like she was alone - like no one could possibly understand her. She had been so put-off by Faith's recklessness when they first met, that she never really considered that Faith was just as alone with her power as she was.

"We were just kids. I guess you both kinda still are." Willow frowns again.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm not even sure how old I am now."

"Me neither, guess it doesn't so much matter, anymore."

"I don't know what's going to happen, but I think Tara was right. All three of us need to be together. That will only work if you can give her a chance. Do you think you can?" Buffy thought it was critical that more than just she gave Faith a chance. If Faith could see that other's believed in her, maybe she would finally start to believe in herself.

"I can try." Buffy smiled and wrapped Willow in a hug. A little bit of hope that everything was going to be OK was starting to grow.

"Willow!" Tara appears in the room, disrupting their bonding.

"Tara?"

"It's not her. Don't listen!" Buffy attempts to put herself between them, the First only shifts, reappearing even closer to Willow.

"How could you!? You let me die! I thought you loved me!" Tara is wailing and kneeling now at Willow's feet.

"I didn't mean to. I tried to save you!"

"You could still save me. You could still trade Buffy for me. I could still be yours."

Willow hesitated, her face fixed in a frown of agony. Buffy watched in terror as Willow's eyes flashed black. She felt totally impotent as she waited to see how Willow was going to react.

"I could have you back?" Willow asks a whimsical look on her face now.

"Willow! Stop! It's not Tara. Tara would never want you to do this!" Buffy had no idea if Willow could even hear her, but she had to try.

Willow closes her eyes, the pain, and fury evident on her face. Her whole body is tense. "No! I will not do this!" She screams and Tara giggles.

"It was worth a shot." The First shrugs, and it's even more evident that the real Tara is not behind those movements.

"What do you want!?" Buffy screams.

"Just having some fun." Tara grins and then transforms into Buffy. The real Buffy scowls, not enjoying that the First so frequently decides to appear as her.

Willow has devolved into a ball of misery, curled on the bed and muttering to herself.

"You know she was never what you thought she was. The only reason I was able to inhabit her was because she let me. Because she wanted me to."

"You lie!" Buffy didn't want to believe what the First was saying, even though she had a good feeling that it wasn't.

"I have never lied, not once."

Buffy scowled and tried to remember all the things the first said to her. She couldn't recall any particular outright lie. It was all misdirection and tricks. It had even tried to warn her that Willow was more powerful than she seemed.

"I don't care what she did, I know who she is, who she's supposed to be. I won't let her hurt anyone else, not even herself."

"Like you could stop her. If she decides to, she could destroy you without lifting a finger."

"You're terrified of her." Buffy finally makes sense of all the First's posturing.

"Hardly. She only had so much power because I gave it to her. She's barely anything now. At least not until I get her back on my side." _That might be the first outright lie it's told. Why would it have allowed her to bring us out of that dimension if it was really all its power she was using?_

Willow is starting to stir, bringing herself to standing. The air in the room is crackling with her energy. Buffy watches her and smiles. There is no darkness in her eyes, but the power radiating from her is evident.

The First stands, attempting to appear confident. Buffy can sense the fear, only because she knows her own body language so well. "Do you think I don't know about your little plan? I know everything you're going to do. I'm not the least bit worried. There's nothing you can do to stop me! You will never close the Hellmouth!" _And there goes lie number two._

With one last furious glare, the First vanishes.

**Willow**

Willow relaxes and drops back down on to the bed.

"We really are going to win. Aren't we?" She quietly asks.

"We really are." Buffy grins and moves to sit beside her friend. "Let's get some rest. Big day tomorrow."

"Yeah." Willow frowns.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

Willow looks at Buffy and shakes her head. "You should be with Faith."

"I don't think that's what she wants. I'm trying to give her space. This stuff with our connection and all the emotion sharing is too confusing."

"I know I've never been a fan of Faith, and I have no idea what's changed. But there's clearly something between you two. Something you should figure out. Which you can only do together."

"It's just so confusing. I know I shouldn't be so wrapped up in her, but I just can't seem to stop. I should be worried about you, about the First, about the demons running the world, but I'm not worried about any of those things. I haven't forgotten all the things she did, I know she fell into darkness. I know she killed at least one human on purpose in order to help an evil demon. Yet I can't help but think there's more to her, that she's worth caring about. Maybe someone did do something to me. And don't even try to say it was Faith. If it was her she would be taking advantage of my insanity, but she hasn't. She's been totally amazing, and I've been a monster. I guess you probably don't remember this, but we slept together. That first night we were here. She wanted to leave, and I thought it might get her to stay or at least to come back. I don't know. Anyway, it was a mistake. Not that it wasn't amazing, but I should never have done that to her. I don't even know who she is. I'm not even sure who I am." Buffy finally stopped her tirade, standing in the middle of the room arms wrapped around herself, staring at the floor.

Willow had been watching quietly as Buffy was pacing around the room ranting, not wanting to interrupt, guessing that Buffy needed to let this all out of her system. She thought back to all the irrational and reckless things Buffy had done involving Angel and a lot of what she was saying started to make sense. Buffy loved with all of herself, she couldn't control it. She didn't think Buffy was ready to hear any of that though. She had to work through this with Faith, they had to figure it out for themselves.

Willow is torn. During their visit to the library, she had found material that Tara had gathered on auras. It was filled with notes, letting Willow know her theories on what was going on between the two slayers. Willow didn't quite understand it all, and mostly didn't want to believe what little bit she did understand. It was so much easier to focus on hating Faith than to think that maybe she wasn't as evil as she'd always believed. Willow could tell Buffy everything she'd found out, tell her that there was more to the relationship between the two slayers than they could even imagine. She wasn't quite ready to let go of her resentment and confusion over the situation.

She was heartbroken over losing Tara, and she still blamed both slayers for what had happened. Even though she knew logically that it wasn't their fault directly. Their inability to figure themselves out is what caused it to happen. She spent so much time believing that Faith was evil and had done something to Buffy, she knew she had to let go of it, she just didn't know how. _If only Tara were still here. If only I had listened to her all those times she told me to let go of my anger. She always knew something was wrong with me. She tried so hard to help me keep under control._ _I can try to make up for it now. I will help them figure this out, and maybe make up for some of what I've done._

"Can you feel her right now?"

Buffy looks in the direction of Faith's room. Willow can see their auras swirling and reaching for each other. Again wishing that Tara was here, Tara would know more. Tara would know what the right thing to say was.

"Yeah, she seems... resolved. Calm."

"You should go to her, keep feeling for her, you'll know if she really doesn't want you to be there."

"I don't know if I would. I barely can feel her emotions, but it sounds like I'm hammering her with mine. I don't know what any of this means."

**Faith**

Faith stood in front of her closed door, waiting and wondering. She had decided that she wanted what Buffy was offering her. She just had to figure out how that was going to work.

Buffy was moving towards her now, slowly making her way down the hallway. She held her breath, and only released it once Buffy had moved beyond her own room and was approaching Faith's. Faith opened the door once she was within a few feet.

"Everything OK with Red?"

"I think so. At least as OK as it can be right now."

"Do you want to come in?"

"Only if you want me to, I'm sure you need some rest."

"Can't sleep anyway." Faith moved out of the doorway to allow Buffy to enter. Buffy moved to the far side of the room and stood awkwardly. Faith let the door close and moved to sit on the bed. Motioning for Buffy to sit with her. "You're making me nervous, come sit down."

Instead of sitting, Buffy begins to pace. "There's just so much I don't understand. The first said Willow willing let it control her. That she wanted it to. We have this plan, and I think it's going to work, I just don't know if we can trust her."

"We don't really have a choice, do we?"

"No, I guess not." Buffy stops moving, standing in the middle of the room facing away from Faith.

"What are you really worried about?"

"What's going to happen after we get the Hellmouth closed? It's not like things are going to be all normal and great after that. The whole world is a mess. Are we going to have to fight demons everywhere?"

Faith moves further onto the bed, leaning against the wall. "Come here."

Buffy turns to look at Faith. "No, I should just go. I.."

"Just come here." Faith insists. "Don't make me drag you."

Buffy finally relents and moves to the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

"Come closer, lay with me."

"No.. I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know."

Faith leans forward and reaches for Buffy's hand. Pulling her gently, "please."

Slowly Buffy lets herself be pulled towards Faith, eventually letting herself be held. Faith tries to relax, tries to let all the emotions she's feeling settle into something that makes sense. It's a lot to deal with. She wants to focus on the good things she's feeling. The warmth and comfort of having Buffy in her arms. She's distracted by the tension and fear radiating from Buffy.

"Try to relax. Everything is going to be ok."

"How? How is anything going to be ok."

"It just will. We're going to kick the First's ass. Then we're going kill all the demon's that get in our way."

"You said we."

"I did." Faith smiled, relieved that she wasn't terrified at admitting she was planning to stay by Buffy's side.

"So no more trying to leave?"

"I'm done running away."

Buffy sighs and finally starts to relax, letting her body mold to Faith's. Faith moves her hand to the small of Buffy's back, gently caressing the soft skin. Buffy reached for the edge of Faith's shirt.

"Can I?" She asks softly.

Faith hesitates. _Say Yes! You want her to touch you, let her touch you! _But she says nothing.

"It's ok," Buffy takes her hand away, resting it on her own leg.

Faith's hand had stilled on Buffy's back, after a few moments it began it's slow movements again. She reached over for Buffy's hand and directed it to its earlier position. Silently giving Buffy the permission she asked for.

Buffy's fingertips danced across the skin of her stomach and side. Faith was struggling not to moan and writhe under the amazing sensations. It was an emotional overload, and she was not prepared for it.

**Buffy**

Buffy can sense Faith tense and slows her movements. Resting her hand flat on Faith's side. _I can't keep doing this to myself. No matter how much I want to be with her, I know that's not what she wants. She says she's not leaving, that will be enough. She'll be by my side as we set this world right._

"We should get some rest." She offers, "I'm going to go." Buffy starts to pull away, but Faith grabs her.

"No, please stay."

Buffy gently moves out of Faith's grip. "This is too confusing. Being with you feel so right, but it hurt so much that you don't feel the same way. I don't know how to handle this right now." She stands up, but Faith grabs her from behind and pulls her back onto the bed. "Please, let me go. I'll find a way to deal if you don't want to be with me. But I need to go."

She's squirming in Faith's arms, but not really fighting to get free. She was tired, and her heart ached. Suddenly she stills as Faith begins lightly kissing her neck. "Don't." She quietly moans. Faith doesn't stop. Her kisses become more and more insistent.

"Faith." Her voice is a whisper. She wants to tell Faith to stop. She just can't. She's being overloaded with sensations. Realizing that Faith for the first time is sending feelings over their slayer connection. The emotions are confused and conflicted. She can tell Faith is trying to be comforting, but maybe doesn't know how. Buffy took this as a sign that Faith did want them to be together, she knew it was going to be hard. It's not like Buffy had it all figured out, she just knew that they were better together, that they could be happy once they figured this all out.

"Do you want me to stop?" Faith asks as she continues to kiss and nip her way along Buffy's neck and shoulder. Buffy can only moan in response. There is no chance of words being formed. Buffy lets herself be pulled back into their earlier position. Their arms wrapped around each other and Buffy's head resting on Faith's shoulder.

"Can we... just stay like this? Get some sleep?" Buffy asks, she's not ready to deal with her swirling emotions, she just wants to bask in the warmth and comfort of Faith.

"Definitely." Faith places a kiss on Buffy's forehead and holds her close. It doesn't take long until both slayers fall asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Faith**

_Damn it feels good to be outside again._

Faith and Buffy exit the initiative both taking deep breaths of semi-fresh air. Even though the sky was coated in hazy darkness, it was still fresher than the stale air circulating in the Initiative. Willow is a few steps behind, five soldiers stand behind her, their guns at the ready.

"Which way are we heading?" Faith calls to Willow. Willow consults her map and points. Faith grabs Buffy hand and starts moving.

"Maybe, you should let us lead the way?" The Initiative soldier with the scar on his face says. Faith didn't bother to learn any of their names, except for Riley and he hadn't come along for this mission. He had taken Giles along with a few other soldiers to attempt to find the ingredients they'll need to complete the spell they were hoping would close the Hellmouth.

Faith almost giggles at the man for thinking they even need them here at all. Now that they were outside and on their way to actually do something, she was feeling fantastic and brimming with confidence. Before she gets the chance to say anything, Buffy starts talking first. "Yeah, maybe that's a good idea." Faith gave Buffy a questioning look, Buffy responded with a slight nod towards Willow. Faith wasn't exactly sure what that meant but decided to go with it.

They've been walking for almost an hour before Faith starts to feel the familiar sensation of a vampire. She and Buffy had been walking about 20 feet apart, for tactical reasons and partly to give Willow a break on their auras. None of them seem to notice that the soldiers are no longer with them. The slayers are too focused on the vampire they can't yet see, and Willow is too focused on being terrified.

"Hey there, Faithy. Glad to see you out and about again." Angelus struts out behind a tree and Faith growls.

She glowers at the vampire but does not attack him. A second form appears at his side, and she sucks in an air full of breath. _No no no, it can't be her, don't let it be her!_

"What's the matter? You're not happy to see your mother?" The woman steps forward, grinning. "You always were such an ungrateful child. It's not surprising you don't want to see me. Even after all I've done for you, you can't even try to treat me with respect."

Faith has some vague awareness that Buffy is at her side, but she can't focus on it, all she sees is her mother. Faith feels all the confidence she had gained falling right out of her, all she can think about is the woman standing in front of her. Wanting to kneel before her and beg, she didn't even know what wanted to beg for, all she knew was that she had to. Only because Buffy was holding her up did she not fall to the ground.

Buffy is saying something to her, but she can't hear it. All she can hear is her mother's voice. "How did you convince her you weren't complete trash, Faith? Doesn't she know what a worthless slut you are?" Her mother moves closer, her mouth curled into a snarl. Faith is whimpering now. "Should I tell her? Doesn't she deserve to know." Faith lurches out of Buffy's grasp, trying to reach for her mother. Her arms pass through, and she drops to the ground.

"You can't honestly believe that she cares about you. How could you be so stupid? Nobody could ever care about you, especially not someone like her!" The woman stands leering over Faith, her hands on her hips as she continues her verbal assault. "It's your fault I'm dead, you know. It's your fault everyone is dead. Right from the start, you were cursed. You'll never be able to do anything right. First, you drove your father away, and now you've managed to kill the entire world. I hope you're proud of yourself and your choices!"

Faith was clutching at her thigh, digging in as hard as she could. The pain allowed her to block out what was happening. If it would just stop, she would be ok. She focused on the present, focused on the energy she felt that she knew was Buffy. Trying to find some way to claw herself back to reality.

**Buffy**

Buffy screams as all of Faith's pain and anguish seeps into her. She takes a step forward towards Faith, only to find herself dropped to the ground as painful electricity shoots through her. When she's next aware of anything, she finds herself in a barn of some kind that she doesn't recognize. Willow is at her side, helping her to sit. "What happened? Where are we?"

"The soldiers turned on us. I teleported us here as soon as I realized, but they had already tazed both of you." Willow frowns, "I didn't even know I could do that, I just did it without thinking."

"It's good that you did." Buffy squeezed Willow and moved to stand up, noticing Faith's form still slumped unmoving on the floor. She went to check on Faith, but Willow's hand on her arm held her back.

"I think… something is wrong. Her aura isn't accepting yours anymore. It's also a bit dimmer than it was before." Willow sounds nervous as she stammers out the words.

Buffy frowned but moved forward to Faith again, turning her over and pulling her up to recline in her lap. "Faith? Are you ok? You need to wake up now." She whispered, stroking Faith's hair and trying to find the slayer connection. She started to panic when she couldn't feel it. But then Faith slowly began to stir in her arms.

Faith's eyes shot open, and she jumped away from Buffy, her posture tight and her arms raised defensively. "What the fuck are you doing? What did you do to me? Where the fuck are we?" Her questions are a blur of fury as she looks around in confusion.

"The soldiers turned on us. Willow brought us somewhere safe so we could recover."

"Soldiers? What the hell are you talking about? Why were you holding me?"

Buffy's heart dropped, she began to feel some of the slayer connection again now that Faith was awake, but it was nothing like it was before, it was nothing like she needed it to be. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Faith froze and glared at Buffy. Her hand moved slowly to her stomach. "You fucking stabbed me! That's the last thing I remember!" She attempted to launch herself at Buffy only to find she couldn't move.

"Woah, didn't know I could do that either," Willow commented, seemingly a little delighted with her ability to control such powerful magic. Buffy did her best not to worry about Willow's magic use. So far, her eyes were clear, and she seemed to be in control of herself. There wasn't anything Buffy could do if Willow did turn on them anyway.

"Red! Let me go!"

Buffy moved closer to Faith, "Do you see that they did something to her? Anything attacking her magically?"

"No, but then I'm not sure I would. It looks the same, just less."

Buffy nodded, not taking her eyes off of Faith.

"What are you talking about?! Stop talking about me like I'm not here!" Faith was screeching, attempting to thrash out of the magical hold but completely unable to.

"Faith. Please try to calm down. You don't remember, but we.. we made up after I.."

"Are you kidding me? You expect me to believe that I forgave you for stabbing me? Why would I do that?"

"You did, you forgave me. And I forgave you."

"This is bullshit. You're just trying to trick me."

"If we wanted to hurt you, you would already be hurt." Willow's voice was a lot harsher than Buffy would have liked. Buffy could see Faith tense up at the words.

"Not super helpful, Will."

"Sorry, this is what I remember her being like. New Faith was confusing." Willow shrugged and backed away, leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, I know. Just give me a chance to try something. I need her back." Buffy took a step closer to Faith.

"You need me back? What the hell is the matter with you? Get the fuck away from me!"

Buffy tentatively reached out to touch Faith's cheek, hoping that physical contact would somehow snap Faith out of whatever this is. She stops when Faith's eyes widen in fear. "Ok, so no touching." She moves back a step and closes her eyes, trying to reach into their slayer connection. She didn't know if it would work if Faith wasn't open to it, but she had to try.

"What are you doing? This is pointless. If you're going to kill me, just do it already!"

"Nobody is going to kill you."

"Why not!? Shouldn't you? Look what I did! I'm worthless anyway. You should just put me down so a new slayer can be called."

_Worthless. That's what her mother said._

"You are far from worthless Faith. All those things your mother said, they weren't true."

"What do you know about my mother?" Faith voice has changed, the fury and anger are gone. Her voice is now soft. It almost sounds like a child's voice.

"She was here, sort of."

"My mother was here?" Faith looked around nervously.

"It's complicated. You have to remember the past few weeks, then you'll understand." Buffy moved forward again. This time Faith was too distracted to be afraid of Buffy's touch. "You have to open yourself to me. Remember who you are, who you really are."

Faith's eyes are closed, and her breathing is strained. _I can feel her again! _Buffy turns to ask Willow to release the spell, but she doesn't have to. Faith is free to move, and she slumps to the ground. Buffy wraps her arms around her, sending all the love and comfort she can through their connection. She worries that Faith will resist, but she doesn't, she seems to accept the feelings and leans into Buffy's embrace.

"I'm not sure how much more time we have. I thought the soldiers might be up to something, so I sent them in the wrong direction, they might have some other way to track us tough." Willow says, urging them to get moving.

"How much further is it?" Buffy questions.

Faith suddenly sat up, looking more alert. "You don't feel that?"

_I was too focused on Faith to be feeling for anything else, but now I feel it too. It feels like it's right under us._

"What happens if the First shows up again before we can get to it?" Willow asks,

"I can't... I can't fight her." Faith blubbers slightly, the enthusiasm for knowing they are near their goal instantly falling from her face.

"You can fight her. It's not real. Whatever awful things she did to you, it's in the past."

"That's not so easy."

"Are you still mad at me for stabbing you?" _That might be a very dangerous question to be asking, but I don't know what else to do._

Buffy can feel the emotions ripple through Faith, "No, doesn't exactly make me happy, but I'm not angry at you about it." Then confusion shows on her face, "are you asking me to forgive her? I can't do that. There's no way. You don't understand what you're asking."

"You need to forgive yourself." Willow supplies. "You need to forgive yourself for believing what she said to you."

Faith is standing now, her arms wrapped around herself protectively. Buffy wants to help her. She just has no idea what Faith needs right now.

**Faith**

_I was just a little kid. I know none of it was my fault. How can her words still have so much power over me? _Faith looks up, "Can you teleport me out of here? Send me back to the initiative or something? I don't want to get in the way."

"Even I could. I wouldn't do that." Willow answers.

"Fine, then I'll just leave, maybe I can lead them away, buy you guys some time..." Faith was scanning the room, looking for the nearest exit.

"Stop it! Why do you always want to run away? You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are needed, and you can do this." Willow scolds Faith, suddenly right in her face.

Faith scowls and stares back at Willow. "What the hell do you know about it? You can barely even stand to be around me. You should be happy I want to leave."

"Well, I'm not. I certainly don't understand all of what is going on or what is happening to us, but I know that we need you. The three of us need to work together. If you leave, we all lose."

"Faith, please just try. If something happens, Willow can get us all away again. You're not alone anymore, neither of us will ever let you be alone again."

Faith is surprised to see an encouraging nod from Willow at Buffy's words. _Not alone. _She could feel the energy flowing from both of them now. It wasn't trying to change her. It was just letting her know that they were there and that they cared about her.

"Fine, but if something happens to me again, you have to send me away. I don't know what she'll make me do to you."

The trio makes their way towards one of the walls in the basement. None of them needed to speak as the slayers were drawn in this direction. Placing her hand on the wall, Faith could feel power radiating from just beyond it. She began to feel herself fill with an eerie confidence, a sense of complete rightness. Without a thought, she pushed against the cold surface, and it gave way almost instantly. The wall crumbling and revealing a narrow dark tunnel on the other side. The faintest glow of light could be seen on the other end. The slayers took an unconscious step forward.

**Buffy**

"Wait!"

"Willow? What's wrong?" Buffy had turned to face Willow, her face was now ashen and the look terrified Buffy. Willow only pointed back in the direction of the tunnel.

There was an archway revealed behind the crumbling wall. There were words carved in a language Buffy didn't recognize. "What does it say?"

"It says - only the worthy shall pass. All others will die an agonizing death." Buffy gasps to hear her own voice behind her. She turns to see herself grinning, arms folded as she stood arrogantly. "I'm paraphrasing, of course." The First smirks at them. "I only let you get this far because I knew you wouldn't get any further. Not one of you deserves to pass through that tunnel."

Faith started to giggle. The sound was startling to Buffy. "Are you serious? This is your big plan? You have no idea who you're dealing with." She grabs for both Willow's and Buffy's hands, dragging them confidently towards the tunnel.

"Faith! Don't do this! You don't have to kill yourself to prove anything. Just come back to me, you know I'm the only one who cares about you!" The sound of Faith's mother's voice doesn't even cause her to pause. Buffy looks over in awe at the confident and determined look on Faith's face.

They enter the tunnel and continue towards the light, it was narrow, so they were forced to move single file. All three holding hands while Faith led the way. They entered a large chamber with an altar in the center. The sound of yelling mixed with demon howls followed them down the tunnel.

"How did you know that was going to work?" Willow asks, visibly shaking.

"Everything that thing has tried to do to us was about breaking us down, making us doubt ourselves. Trying to get us to turn on each other. If we really couldn't get in here, there'd be no reason to bother." Faith shrugged.

"You were guessing?" Buffy asks, a little startled that Faith just risked killing them all based on a hunch.

Faith only smirked and shrugged again, "C'mon, let's check this thing out." She headed towards the center of the room. Buffy and Willow shared an alarmed look before following her. The arrived at the middle of the room, finding an altar about three feet tall.

"It's not here," Willow says in confusion.

"It's here, I can feel it."

The slayers move forward, each reaching out to touch the altar. As they do, the ground begins to shake and split apart beneath their feet. They jump back and watch as the floor opens and a stairway is revealed.

"I guess we go down there?" Willow comments, but the slayers are already heading down. She hesitates, looking back at the tunnel and the mass of demons she can tell are waiting for them on the other side.

**Faith**

They reach the bottom of the stairs and find themselves in another large chamber. The walls are lined with candles and tapestries. There are also several glass cases, each containing a variety of different weapons and other likely magical items. The slayers approach the central most case and peer through the glass. Each reaching their hand out, mesmerized by the weapon gleaming below them.

"You won't need that just yet." A soft voice calls to them, and they look up in confusion.

"We do need it, we have to close the Hellmouth," Buffy argues.

"That is one option." The woman moves out of the shadows to stand before them. She's wearing a blue hooded cloak that covers her face. A second figure appears beside her, this one cloaked in burgundy. Both of their robes shimmered, almost seeming to glow.

"There are no options. We're closing the Hellmouth and working to push the evil back into its hole!" Buffy moves to open the case and retrieve the weapon.

"B, wait. Let's see what they have to say." Faith places a calming hand on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy scowls but nods her agreement.

"What's this other option?" Faith asks, "and how about you show us your faces." Faith eyes were drawn to the figure in burgundy, she felt something familiar about her, but she could not place the memory. She found the woman's presence very calming.

"This is not how things were meant to be." The woman steps closer but does not reveal herself. "We can send you back. You can stop all of this before it even happens."

"How far back?" Faith questions.

"As far back as you need to go."

"What will stop us from making the same mistakes? Will we remember what we did? " Willow asks.

"One of you will remember." The woman cryptically answers.

"Which one of us?" Faith asks nervously.

"The only one of you strong enough."

"That'd probably be you then, B." Faith supplies, feeling immense relief that she might be getting another chance at her life in Sunnydale and wouldn't even have to remember the awful things she had done.

"No, I don't think so." Buffy shakes her head and looks over at the cloaked women, who nod their agreement. "Because of what happened with Angel."

"So, Red then?" Faith frowns.

Willow suddenly shouts and drops to her knees. Clawing at her head. "No no no. What did I do? No!" She curls into a ball, Buffy moves to her but is blasted away to crash into the wall. Willow stood back up, her eyes black and filled with fury. Just as quickly, she drops back to the ground and continues to wail to herself.

"What the hell was that?"

"I just gave her the rest of her memories." Faith watches the witch writhe and moan on the ground. Finally, realizing what this all means.

"Me? How can it be me? I don't want to have to remember all the things I did."

Buffy has recovered from her ordeal of being thrown into the wall. "I'm sorry, I wish it could be me."

"I'm just going to mess everything up again!" Faith is furious and starting to back her way to the stairs, a desperate need to run filling her. Buffy reaches for her and places calming hands on her shoulders.

"You won't. I know that you won't."

"This isn't right. It shouldn't have to be me." Faith frowns.

"It is time." The blue cloaked figure urges.

Faith looks down at Willow who is still curled into a ball on the floor. "You're the only one who can fix this. You can prevent all of this from happening." Buffy grabs Faith's chin and forces her to look into her eyes.

"Fine, let's just do this." Faith growls and turns back towards the hooded figures.

"Faith, wait." Buffy reaches for Faith's hand and turns her, "I'll understand if you don't… want to be with me. Just don't let me push you away this time." Faith turns away from Buffy's stare but finds herself pulled back to look into Buffy's eyes. "Promise me that you won't let me push you away." Faith nods, unable to say the words. Not sure if she would or even could do what Buffy was asking of her. She was filled with so many conflicting thoughts, and she hadn't had time to sort through them. Seeing her mother had wounded her deeply, but she also felt surrounded by what she now had to admit was love. The extreme contradictory emotions were pulling her apart.

"Faith," Willow calls out softly, finally managing to find enough strength to stand. "You have to find Tara, tell her not to come to Sunnydale. If she doesn't ever meet me, she won't have to die."

**Buffy**

Buffy watches Faith as Willow explains everything she knows about Tara, not listening, only tracing Faith's features trying to understand how all this happened. She reminds herself of how much of a mess she made of things. How jealous and petty she had been when Faith arrived. She hoped that things would be different this time, that Faith would be able to find happiness and not get lost to darkness. She knew there was more to Faith that had yet to be revealed. Faith had a strength within her that no one else had been able to see, not even Faith herself.

She focused on the time they've spent together, wanting to believe that if she focused hard enough that she would somehow remember all that she had figured out about Faith. Hoping that if she could hold on to remembering that she loved Faith, that things wouldn't be so hard the second time around.


	20. Chapter 20

**Faith**

Buffy and Faith are walking through an alley when they are attacked by two of Balthazar's vampires. The battle is intense, but quickly, the two vampires are dust. A third one appears, and Buffy tosses him in the direction of Faith. He crashes into the dumpster and slides to the ground.

"Faith! No!" Buffy screams, but it's too late. The deputy mayor is dead, a new stake shaped hole where only his heart should be.

Faith drops to her knees, screaming as memories of the next few months flood into her. "No! Why?!" _Why send me back but not in time to stop this!? _She drops her stake and scrambles away from the body.

In the moments before she was sent back, she took the time to think about what she would do differently with her second chance. She had hoped that they would send her back to before her watcher was killed, believing that she wouldn't make the same mistakes, that she could kill Kakistos this time. If that had gone differently, everything else would have too. She would have been different when she came to Sunnydale if she even decided to go there. She wouldn't have listened to that fake watcher. She could have helped Buffy with Angel, she wouldn't have slept with Xander, she probably wouldn't have convinced Buffy to break into the sporting goods store. Never once did it occur to her that she would have been brought back to now. Unable to stop the worst mistake she thought she had ever made.

"Faith?" Buffy moves to Faith, trying to help her stand up. "It was just an accident. It will be ok."

"No, nothing will be ok. It was all for nothing!" Faith refuses Buffy's help, continuing to scramble away from the body until her back hits the wall.

"What are you talking about?"

"It doesn't matter, none of this matters!" Faith screams and turns to run off.

"Don't leave me!" Buffy calls out, and Faith freezes. Their slayer connection is open. She can feel the fear radiating from Buffy. Forcing herself to turn around, she kneels down and looks at the body of the deputy mayor. Pretending to examine him closely, all while remembering everything that happens next. All the things that go wrong because she tried to convince everyone that she didn't care about killing this man. She knows she won't do those things this time. She's just going to run away. Buffy doesn't need her, and they can handle everything that happens next without her.

Her eyes trail down to the stake wound in the man's chest. _So much blood. _Faith stands and turns to face Buffy. Once she sees her eyes, she knows there's no way she can leave. She knew she couldn't let Buffy down again.

"Go, you have to take care of Balthazar. I'll deal with this."

"What do you mean you'll deal with it? We should call the police."

Faith sighed, "We can't keep the world safe if one or both of us in jail." Buffy's eyes widened in fear, and Faith cursed herself for suggesting Buffy was responsible for this too. "This was just an accident. You have no idea how much I wish this hadn't happened. But it did, and there's nothing we can do about it right now. You have to go stop Balthazar. We'll talk tonight, and we'll figure this out." Faith used the slayer connection to send calming and comforting sensations to Buffy. She didn't like using the connection this way, but she needed Buffy to cooperate. Buffy's face softened, and she nodded slightly, running off.

**The Keepers**

"Did you do this!?" The keeper clad in burgundy runs to her partner, grabbing her roughly by the shoulders.

"No, of course not. It was not up to us to decide what would happen."

"I'm helping them! They cannot get torn apart again!"

"Give her a chance. See if she can be who she needs to be before you interfere again."

"It's not fair."

"Nothing is ever fair. We have to trust that they will get it right this time."

"Do you agree that I am right? That they are the ones?"

"Once I saw them together, it was impossible to deny."

"So, you'll help?"

"I do not believe they need our help. I will watch over them with you. We can decide together."

**Faith**

Faith knelt down over the body and collected her thoughts. She had thought endlessly about how she could have done things differently. During her time with the Mayor, she had discovered that there was a crew of carrion demons that the Mayor used to dispose of any bodies that he didn't want to be found. All she had to do was to drop this body into the correct sewer, and all of this would go away.

Bending down, adjusting his body to make him more manageable to carry, she noticed an envelope in his shirt pocket. Sliding it out and opening it, she grinned. _Maybe this was going to work out after all._

After she dropped the body into the sewer, she waited until she could hear the scratching sounds of the carrion demons approaching. Grimacing at the memory of the one time she stayed to watch what they would do to a body. She slid the manhole cover shut and ran towards City Hall. She only had three hours to complete her task if the note was correct, she was not going to screw this up.

Approaching the building from the front, not at all trying to conceal herself. Her plan required that she be the Faith that she was before and that Faith did not slink around. She charged right into everything. The front doors were locked, she simply tore them open and entered. Several vampires quickly attacked her, and she staked them easily. Not interested in putting on a show or dragging any of this out. She went through five more vampires before reaching the Mayor's office door. Her stomach clenching at the memory of the first time she was standing here.

She pushed the door open without knocking. Seeing the Mayor sitting behind his desk, his very confident and goofy smile plastered on his face.

"I did not expect to see you so soon."

His words cause her to pause, losing herself for a second as she looks up at his goofy smile. "Yeah, well. I like to keep everyone on their toes." She moved to his desk easily, dropping into the chair and propping her feet up on his desk. Grinning at the disgusted look on his face. She dropped them back down, pretending to be chastised by his look. "Your boy was trying to sell you out. Thought you should know. I took care of him for you."

"My boy?"

"That Finch guy, or whatever." She tossed his wallet onto the mayor's desk and waved her hands around like he wasn't important. She had to restrain her grin when the Mayor frowned and pulled out a sanitary wipe to clean off the blood she had added for effect.

"Ah, I was wondering where Allan disappeared off to. He knows tonight is a big night for me." The Mayor continued to stare at Faith, and she did her best not to let it show how uncomfortable she was. "So you're here to offer your services to me? Why would you do that?"

Faith gave an exaggerated sigh, "B super freaked when I killed that guy. I just know she's going to turn me over to the council or the police. I figured you could protect me."

"It would be useful to have a slayer on my side. But I don't really need any more muscle." He tapped a button on his desk, and Mr. Trick entered the room. Faith grinned, she was on her feet in a moment, trading blows with the well-dressed vampire. She played with him a little more than the others, wanting to let the mayor see who she was. Her moves were chaotic and furious. Remembering how this vampire had almost managed to kill Buffy, it wasn't too hard to tap into her rage and unleash it on this monster. She fought with complete abandon. He got one good hit on her cheek, and she decided that was enough playing. She dodged around his latest attack and thrust her stake into his heart.

"Are you sure about that?" Turning back to the man, she briefly believed cared about her with a wicked grin.

"Ah, yes. I do appear to have an opening. Still, I'm not sure why I would trust you."

"I know where you're books are. So I figure, I get you your books, and you keep me free. Whatever else you need, I'm happy to do."

"Even if I need you to take out your little friends?"

Faith just shrugged, "if you mean the other slayer and her band of heroes, they're not my friends. I've got no problem taking them out."

That did it, the Mayor's eyes widened as he grinned and steepled his fingers like the super-villain that he was. "That is excellent news. Excellent, indeed." His grin and open approval rippled through Faith, despite herself she felt drawn to him. "You are an impressive woman, Faith. I'm sure we will accomplish many great things."

"Well. I'm gonna head out before anyone gets suspicious. You just let me know what you need." This was a risk. She had killed all the minions she knew about. She couldn't sense anyone else but the Mayor here, and one other vampire who wasn't moving. She hoped her indifference would get him to invite her to the ceremony.

"Faith? Before you go, perhaps you could help me with something. Since I seem to have recently lost all my support staff." He chuckled, clearly supremely confident.

"Yeah, what do you need, Boss?" Calling him boss startled her, it came so naturally, and she almost forgot who she was.

"I just have a little ceremony to perform in about twenty minutes." _Yes! He's not invincible yet, that means I can take him out. _She kept her face as calm as she could, not wanting to reveal her excitement.

"Sure, I guess I could stick around for that. It's not going to be gross or anything, is it?"

He chuckled again, "No, it won't be gross."

"All, right. Then I'm in." Faith casually walked around the office, examining the maps and other items on the walls.

"It's an exciting night! The hundred days will begin, and nothing will be able to stop me after this ceremony." The Mayor moved to stand next to Faith as she looked out the window. Faith kept calm, working the dagger she had hidden in her sleeve into her palm. She wasn't sure if he was entirely human or not, but she knew it didn't matter. She could do this, if he was human, she could get rid of the body, no one would have to know.

Moving quickly and efficiently as soon as he was close enough, she sliced into his throat, making sure to sever his vocal cords so he couldn't cry out. Clasping his hands to his throat, he gurgled as the blood seeped out of his mouth. His eyes filled with fear and shock, he was trying to speak, but there was no way. He dropped to his knees, and she continued to work on him with the dagger, severing his head from his body completely.

She almost shouted for joy when the body began to bubble and fizz, leaving nothing but a sticky mess behind. Once his body was completely gone, she got back to work. First, she searched his desk, hoping to find that he had researched the Scythe already, but it didn't seem like he had. She did find one thing that almost brought her to her knees. An envelope with a very familiar return address. She stuffed it into her pocket and instantly forgot about it. She searched for a few more minutes before giving up and heading the deputy mayor's office. This time they wouldn't have been able to hide his files, so she hoped she'd be able to find something to explain what the Mayor was up to.

Once she gathered all the materials she thought were interesting, she moved to the security office to destroy all the surveillance, before heading back to her motel room to wait for Buffy.

**Buffy**

Buffy slowly approached the door to Faith's hotel, not at all sure what to expect. She was confused and scared, feeling immensely guilty for what had happened with the man that was killed. She was confused by how calm Faith seemed to react, her entire demeanor had suddenly changed, and Buffy couldn't make sense of why.

"Should I tell her? Isn't the whole point that I shouldn't? There's no reason to tell her now anyway. It's over. I don't know anything that will matter." Faith was muttering to herself, Buffy could barely make out what she was saying, but it seemed like there was something Faith wanted to hide. There were a few moments of silence and Buffy knocked.

"Hey, everything good with Balthazar?"

"One fried tub of demon." Buffy grinned, feeling weirdly calm now that she was with Faith again.

"What's all this?" Motioning to the bed covered in file folders.

"That guy that I killed was into some seriously evil stuff. The mayor was a demon and was planning on basically killing everyone in the town."

"The mayor _was_ a demon?"

"Yeah, now he's just a gross puddle on the carpet at City Hall." Faith grinned, and Buffy couldn't help but be charmed. She had really enjoyed the past few days with Faith, actually letting loose for a little while and 'finding the fun' as Faith would say.

It certainly hadn't been perfect, she still was nervous any time she saw a police officer, thinking they would recognize her from the break-in.

"How did you know to go to City Hall?"

Faith hands Buffy a folded piece of paper. "I found this."

The note explained most of what Faith just said, mentioning that there was a ritual that needed to be stopped before midnight. "I got in there before the ceremony - no invincibility and no ascension for the Mayor."

"So that guy we...killed, was evil?"

"Totally." Buffy got a weird flash when Faith said this, somehow getting a strong impression that Faith was lying, or at least trying to hide something. "So we can show this all to Giles and see what he thinks, but I don't think we have anything to worry about."

Buffy looked at Faith skeptically, something was different, and it was starting to bother her. She focused her attention on the folders. "Why is there a folder about you in here?"

"What? I didn't see that." Faith picked it up and started to flip through, her face darkening as she looked at it.

"What does it say?"

"Nothing." Faith snapped the folder shut and jammed it into one of her drawers.

Buffy frowned but didn't press. The strange sensations she always felt around Faith were different now, harder to ignore. She almost felt like she was being drawn to move physically towards the other slayer. It was making it hard for her to make any sense of what was going on. She knew Faith was hiding things from her, but she somehow seemed to think it was a good thing that she was.

"So what do you think? We'll show Giles tomorrow? Sound good?"

"Yeah.. what about Wesley?"

"I'd rather not tell him just yet if that's ok."

"Why not?"

"I'm pretty sure he's going to rat me out to the council."

"Why would he do that? It was an accident, and this guy was evil."

"Yeah…" Faith is shifting nervously, unable to meet Buffy's eyes.

"Ok, well, I guess we'll see what Giles says."

Faith breathed an immense sigh of relief. Buffy turned to leave.

"B?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think… I mean… would it be OK with you and your mom if maybe I stayed with you guys for a while?"

"You want to move in with me?"

"Well.. nevermind.. maybe I'll ask Giles. I just kinda hate it here, and maybe it'd be good not to be… alone all the time." Faith's voice had lowered, Buffy barely heard the last words.

Buffy almost dropped to the ground. Her knees felt weak as she realized how life in Sunnydale has been for Faith. Looking around the room closely for the first time, taking in the stained walls and moldy carpet. She didn't even want to think about the bedding.

"I'll ask, I'm sure it will be fine. I'm sor…"

"It's cool, thanks." Faith shrugged and started gathering up the folders.

Buffy stared at her. Everything seemed different. She carried herself differently, she hadn't even made one comment about sex all night. Buffy didn't identify anything bad about these differences, but she knew something had changed. It was more than just being freaked out over the accidental killing of a human. Faith didn't seem panicked or disinterested, and with the things Faith had said immediately after, it was almost like Faith knew what was going to happen.

"Faith? What is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're like a completely different person all of a sudden. I know there's something you're not telling me."

Faith sighed, "tonight was just kind of traumatic. It's hard to explain."

Buffy folded her arms as she stared at Faith. She wasn't upset, she was mostly confused. Buffy had never seen Faith acting so vulnerable before, she felt like she needed to do her best to keep Faith engaged and open. "You're asking to live in my house. I need you to try."


	21. Chapter 21

**Faith**

Faith frowned and dropped onto the bed. She couldn't decide what the right thing to do was. She also seemed to have a sense that Buffy could tell when she was lying. She hoped that would also mean that Buffy would know when she was being honest. _Why did I ask her to let me stay with her?_ _She was going to leave, and I wouldn't have to tell her anything. I could have just disappeared. Nobody would have even cared._

She scrubbed her face with her hands, thinking that if she did it hard enough that this would all be over. It didn't work. Buffy was still standing there, hands on her hips, waiting not so patiently for Faith to say something.

"I don't suppose there's any chance that you can trust me? That there are things that I can't tell you about right now?" Faith asked with very little hope that Buffy would agree to this request.

Buffy paused, seeming to consider how much she could trust Faith. "Just tell me why you are so different."

Faith absently rubbed her stomach, frowning in confusion when she felt the remains of a wound that should not be there. Without thinking, she lifted her shirt to check, not understanding how she could be feeling a scar from an injury that she hadn't yet received.

"What is that?" Buffy asked and moved closer.

"Shit. I didn't think..." Faith frowned again and pulled her shirt down before Buffy could reach her.

"What happened? When did you get stabbed?" Buffy reached out for Faith again, but Faith pulled away.

Faith jumped from the bed and moved as far away from Buffy as she could. The angry memories assaulting her. She had decided that she would pretend none of those things had happened. Since the Mayor was gone, there was no reason to remember. She could start over, be the person that doesn't screw everything up. But how could she do that now? The scar was still there. How could she ever forget what she had done? What she had driven Buffy to do?  _ It didn't even happen. It will never happen now! _

She took several calming breaths. Moving past that awful night on the rooftop, thinking about all that had happened after.

She had given in. She wanted the Buffy that cared about her, the one that would let her touch, hold and kiss her. The Buffy that made her feel whole. She knew this Buffy wasn't hers, but she could be. It burned Faith that she wanted this. Wanting things wasn't a problem for her, she could want and take things, but wanting Buffy was different. Wanting someone to care about her, opening herself up to be hurt, it was terrifying, and it made her angry that she couldn't stop wanting it.

"Faith? Please, tell me what happened?" Buffy's voice was soft, and her hand was on Faith's shoulder. The contact made Faith shudder. She pulled away from it.

"Three months from now." She finally answers.

"What?"

"In three months I almost die. Then I'm giving a chance to go back and try to fix all the awful stuff that happened. I was sure they would send me back further than today, but I came back just after I staked Finch."

"But... I don't... "

"Look, it doesn't matter. I'm here now, and the Mayor is toast. So everything will be fine."  _ Nothing will be fine. How can I convince her that things will be OK when I know that they won't? Now that she knows, there's no way she's going to let this go. I'm going to have to tell her everything or just run away. _

Faith was freaking out, inching closer to the door. She knew she couldn't keep anything from Buffy if she asked direct questions. She considered herself a master liar, but the only one she had been good at tricking was herself. It would be so easy just to leave. She wasn't needed here. She didn't know anything that could help them.

The conflict of wanting to stay and needing to leave was starting to make her feel insane. She had almost reached the door when suddenly Buffy was in front of her preventing her escape.

"Ok," Buffy whispers.

"What do you mean, Ok?"

"I mean, I'll let this go for now. Just don't leave. We'll talk with Giles, and we'll see what happens."

"Thank you." Faith was wary. This seemed too easy. Buffy never let anything go, she wanted to believe that it would work out though. She had to try.

"Now let's get your stuff and get you out of this awful place."

"Don't you need to check with your mom first?"

"I'm sure it will be fine."

**Buffy**

"So, what do you think?" Buffy asked Giles with a raised eyebrow.

Faith had just finished explaining to Giles what had happened. Showing him the Mayor's files. Before he can answer a noise in the main library freezes them all. The slayers run out of Giles office to see an ashen Wesley had just bumped into the table.

"I guess you heard all that?" Faith asked, frowning, and dropping into a chair and slumping down.

"I must contact the council. They need to know about this murder." Wesley's words were completely pompous, and Buffy struggled to keep her response at all controlled.

"It wasn't murder! It was an accident, and the guy was evil!" Buffy is shouting at Wesley, and he backs away.

"Accident or not, a slayer killed a human. There must be consequences for her actions." Wesley crossed his arms. His head held high. Buffy desperately wanted to smash the smugness off of his face.

"She was sent back here for a reason. If the council takes her away, she won't be able to do whatever she came here to do." Buffy argues getting more and more agitated.

"Maybe she's already done it. Whatever the Mayor was planning to do has already been prevented."

Faith said nothing in her defense, she only sat in the chair and stared at the floor. Faith hadn't explained what happened with the council the first time, but Buffy imagined that it was not good.

"If you do this, you will lose us both. I will quit." Buffy says with authority, and Faith finally looks up.

"You don't have to do this for me. I'm not worth it." Buffy shook her head at Faith's response. Buffy didn't understand why, but she needed to protect Faith from the council.

"Perhaps if she recounts everything would have happened, I could consider not calling them." Wesley offers.

"She's not doing that either." Buffy moves closer to Wesley, doing her best not to throttle him. "Decide now. Do you want two slayers or zero slayers?"

"Will you agree to a more rigorous training schedule? More supervision?" Wesley asks Buffy and not Faith. Buffy opens her mouth to start to argue more with Wesley but changes her mind.

"Faith? What do you think?"

Faith looks a little shocked at being asked for her opinion. "Just call them, I'll do whatever they want me to do."

"Are you sure? What if they decide to take you back to England?"

Faith looks at Wesley and shrugs, "I don't think that they will. I'm cooperating." Faith looked defeated, and it made Buffy's heart ache.  _ Maybe I shouldn't have made her tell Giles anything. We could have figured this out together. _

"Quite right, I'm sure it will be fine as long as Faith continues to cooperate fully. They may have questions about her time travel." Wesley responds, regaining his composure.

"Do they need to know about her time travel? Since the accident occurred before she was returned, it's not exactly relevant. " Giles finally enters the conversation. Buffy breathes a sigh of relief at his support.

"I suppose not," Wesley stammers and shies away from Buffy's furious glare. Buffy started to calm and back away from the terrified watcher. She really wanted an excuse to quit the council. She hadn't forgiven them for what they had done to her and generally found them to be pretty worthless. She had every intention of quitting if they did decide to do anything to Faith.

"You guys can read through all those files Faith found. We're going to go." She tugged Faith out of the chair and led them out of the library.

**Joyce**

Joyce is watching Faith move around the kitchen and reflecting on the past few weeks. She didn't know the whole story of what had happened and didn't at all understand why Buffy suddenly wanted the younger slayer to live with them. It seemed to her that Buffy didn't understand it either.

Joyce couldn't figure Faith out at all, for the first week she had been stand-offish and barely able to look at Joyce. But now, she seemed more and more comfortable every day. Starting to seem more like the girl she was when they first met, brash, and full of confidence. Her posture and demeanor seemed to vary greatly, especially when Buffy was around.

She also noticed a change in her daughter, she seemed lighter, like maybe she wasn't carrying such a heavy burden anymore. She hadn't heard much mention of Angel lately, which she was very grateful for. She could never understand that relationship and hoped that it would be over soon. If not, she planned to try to talk some sense into Angel.

Even if you could get passed the whole him being a vampire thing... which Joyce was not doing a great job of - their enormous age difference was also a serious problem. It had taken a lot to wring the truth of what happened between them out of Buffy. Finding out that her 17-year-old daughter had slept with either a 28-year-old man or a 200-year-old vampire - had been very challenging for her to accept.

Finding out that her daughter was the slayer was a difficult pill to swallow, but she was doing her best. She couldn't help but have pride in the fact that Buffy had saved not only the Sunnydale locals but the entire world. Still, she wanted her daughter to have a normal life One with some semblance of a normal future. At least the potential for growing older and having a family. In her opinion, Angel couldn't possibly offer her those things. She didn't even know if it was biologically possible and really didn't want to find out.

Joyce was very hopeful that the growing friendship between the two slayers would mean good things for both of them. She still held out hope that Faith would take over for Buffy and that her daughter could have a normal life. Just having Faith around should mean a greater chance for Buffy's survival. On top of her somewhat selfish reasons for allowing Faith to stay, she had found that she genuinely did like the girl. She was witty and compassionate. She also seemed to have a maturity to her that didn't at all fit with how she tried to carry herself.

Joyce knew from the Christmas they had spent together that there was a lot more to Faith than she wanted anyone to see. It was one of the reasons she so readily agreed to let her stay.

"You don't have to do that, you know." Joyce finally broke her silence.

"I know, but I like to. And since you won't let me pay rent, it's the least I can do." Faith had been moving around the kitchen efficiently, preparing breakfast for everyone.

"It is appreciated," Joyce smiles at the apparent gratitude Faith has for her comment. That's another thing that had slowly been changing. Whenever she would say anything nice to Faith, the girl would seem to struggle. Almost as if she was expecting something awful to come immediately after. Slowly it seemed Faith was beginning to believe that Joyce actually did like her and wasn't going to hurt her. Looking at the young girl, a thought occurs to Joyce.

"When is your birthday?"

Faith's look of horror at the question makes her worry, "Why are you asking about that?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if that awful council was going to try the same thing on you that they did with Buffy on her 18th birthday."

"What did they do to her?"

"Hmmm.. something smells good." Buffy bounces into the kitchen and grabs a cup of coffee, apparently not noticing the look of shock on her mother's or Faith's face.

"You never told Faith about your birthday?"

Buffy's smile drops completely, "well... no... I didn't think there was any way they would do that to her after what happened." Buffy stammers out her response, clearly making it up on the spot. Joyce often wonders how she never realized that Buffy was up to something all those years when she was such a terrible liar.

Joyce puts her hands on her hips, restraining herself from pointing out how unlikely she thought it was that Buffy even thought about telling her. "Maybe you should."

Buffy very guiltily stares into her coffee cup as she explains, "It's called the Cruciamentum. On a slayer's 18th birthday, their watcher takes away their powers and then forces them to fight a vampire." Buffy explains quietly, unable to look at Faith as she speaks.

"Giles took away your powers?" Faith asks, her voice is unnervingly even.

"Yeah, and I didn't know what was happening. I just thought I was no longer the slayer."

"How could he do that to you?"

"I still don't know. Things went really bad with the test. The vampire killed the council guys who were watching him, and he kidnapped my mom. When Giles found out how wrong things went, he finally explained what was going on with the test. But it was too late, and I had to rescue my mom. So I went through with the test and just barely managed to defeat the vampire."

"That must have been terrifying."

"It was," Buffy finally looks up at Faith. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I promise I would never have let them do that to you."

"It's cool."

"Faith, maybe you should put that down," Joyce comments quietly. Joyce had been distracted by Buffy's entry, but now realizes that Faith had tensed up before her daughter had appeared.

Faith looks down at her hand and drops the knife that she had begun digging into the cutting board with. She bolted out of the kitchen and up the stairs before either Summers could try to stop her.

"I can't believe I didn't tell her." Buffy slumps into her chair and frowns.

"She might be upset about more than just that. She seemed very nervous when I asked about her birthday. Do you know why that would be?"

"I don't have any idea. I don't even know how old she is."

"You should go talk to her."

**Buffy**

Buffy runs up the stairs and knocks on Faith's door. It had been left slightly open, and when she knocked, it opened the rest of the way. Faith was sitting on the edge of the bed, her two bags worth of belongings sitting beside her. This didn't immediately worry Buffy since she knew that Faith hadn't ever unpacked in the first place.

"I'm so sorry I never told you."

"It's cool. We're five by five."

"It's not cool at all. I hurt you, and I'm sorry, you don't have to forgive me, but you can admit that I hurt you." Buffy was desperately trying to connect with Faith. In the past month, she had been trying to find ways to get closer to the other slayer, and growing increasingly frustrated at her failure to do so.

Faith only shrugged her shoulders and looked at the floor. "Don't you have to go to school?"

"It can wait. I wanted to make sure you're ok."

"I'm OK."

"No, you're not." Buffy moved to sit beside Faith on the bed. "Tell me what's going on?"

Faith looked over at Buffy, "it was just another reminder that I don't belong here. That I'm fooling myself staying here with you and trying to pretend…"

"Pretend what?"

"I'm just going to go." Faith stood up and tried to grab her bags, Buffy reached for her hand and held it tightly.

"Please stay. I really like having you here, and so does my mother. Please?" Since the incident with the deputy mayor, Buffy had figured out that Faith would do pretty much anything Buffy directly asked her to do. She didn't understand why, and she tried not to take advantage of it, but she needed Faith to stay. Deciding to push her luck, "and you should unpack. This is your home now. You should spread out and enjoy it." She gave Faith what she hoped was a charming smile.

"OK, thanks." Faith mumbled and dropped back onto the bed, pulling her hand out of Buffy's.

Faith still didn't seem to have recovered from what was bothering her. Even though it seemed like she wasn't going to leave, Buffy wasn't ready to let this go. She hated to see Faith suffering.

"Can you please just drop this? I'm not upset with you for not telling me what the council did. It totally sucks that they did that to you. But I get why you wouldn't have bothered to tell me. It's not like I asked questions about what was going on when I wasn't around."

They sit in silence for a moment. Buffy has no idea what to say. Finally, Faith sighs. "I freaked out because your mom asked about my birthday."

"Why would that freak you out?"

"Because… I don't know when it is."

Buffy's mouth dropped in shock. "Oh. Maybe Wesley knows? The council might have records on you."

"Yeah, maybe. Doesn't matter, it just kind of surprised me." Faith finally seemed to be relaxing slightly. Her slumped shoulders held a little higher. Buffy guessed that Faith hadn't even understood why she was so upset until she admitted it out loud.

"Thank you for talking to me. I really want things to be better between us than they were." Buffy wanted to reach out and comfort Faith, but the few times she had done that it had felt awkward.

"I want that too. Now you better go to school before you get into trouble." Faith grinned, and Buffy felt immensely better. Not everything that just happened made sense to her, but she felt like she and Faith had finally started to form a real friendship. Where it would be ok to make mistakes, they could talk through what was bothering them and come out stronger after.

"I'll see you later for training?"

Faith nodded, and Buffy headed out of the room.

  
  



	22. Chapter 22

**Faith**

Faith awoke with a stabbing pain in her chest. An unrelenting sadness was assaulting her. She knew where it was coming from and ran into Buffy's room. Finding Buffy curled in a ball on top of the covers.

"B? What happened?" She had a good idea of what had happened. There's only one thing that could cause Buffy this much pain.

"Angel left."

Faith moved to sit on the bed, unsure what to do. "I'm sorry. I don't know how he could do that to you."  _ I knew this was going to happen, but it seems too soon. I thought maybe things would be better for them this time. _

Faith had been living with the Summers' for a month now. She took up the slack of slaying, giving Buffy time to focus on school and her relationship with Angel. She had believed that things were going well between them, even if they couldn't actually be together.

"No. I sent him away. It was too hard having him here. We have no future. I needed to be free of him."

Faith didn't know exactly what had happened between them originally, she only knew that he was still there for Graduation and that Buffy had said that he left her.

_ Then why are you so sad?  _ Faith wanted to ask but didn't. "I'm still sorry, I know how much you love him."

Buffy rolled over onto her back, staring at the ceiling. "I guess. It's complicated."

"It'll take time, but it will be ok." Faith offers and places a hand on Buffy's leg. Buffy looked down at the contact and smiled a little.

"I know it will. Thanks for coming in here."

"Of course, I'm always here for you. Anything you need." Faith stands up from the bed to leave.

"Could you stay with me? I don't want to be alone tonight."

Faith looked around nervously. She was afraid of what this could mean, when Angel was here she didn't have to think about any of the romantic feelings either slayer might have for the other. Now she had a feeling that things were going to change, and she was terrified. She had accepted that they belonged together in the future, but things seemed easier then. Now there would be so much more pressure, so many more things to get in the way. So many more mistakes that Faith could make. As much as she desired Buffy's love, she needed their friendship more.

"You said anything I need," Buffy said quietly.

Faith nodded and moved slowly to the bed. Buffy hadn't yet changed out of her street clothes, but Faith was in a tank top and shorts. She slid under the covers while Buffy got up to change. Faith closed her eyes and waited, only opening them when she felt the bed move as Buffy climbed under the covers. Buffy curled into her side, resting her forehead on Faith's shoulder. Her arms and legs tucked close to her body. Faith did her best to relax. She was supposed to be comforting Buffy, not freaking out about what this all meant. Buffy sighed a little and turned away, putting distance between them. "Good night, Faith."

Faith hesitated for a moment and rolled towards Buffy, sliding closer and wrapping her arm around her shoulder. Buffy sighed again, this time snuggling closer to Faith.

"Good night, B." It didn't take Buffy very long to fall asleep, but Faith laid awake for an hour. She could feel Buffy's sadness, but also the amplification of their slayer connection. There was electricity everywhere they contacted, and she knew Buffy could feel it too.

A few days later, Buffy, Faith, and Willow are in Willow's room. They're getting ready to head out for a night at the Bronze. Buffy and Willow are talking about something, but Faith isn't paying attention. She had been trying to be friendly with Willow, but it hadn't been easy at all. Faith couldn't not see dark Willow every time she looked at her, the image of her fury burned into Faith's memory.

"Why the fuck do you have this?" Faith whispered as she pulled a book off the shelf. Buffy and Willow hadn't noticed, hadn't stopped their chattering.

"Why the fuck do you have this?!" This time she turned to them and yelled, shaking the book at Willow.

"What? It's just a book." Willow mewled and lunged for it, and Faith pulled it out of her reach.

"It's not just a book, and you know it! Why do you have it!?" Faith is yelling at Willow, shaking the book in her hand.

"I.. just found it... Giles.." Willow stammered and backed away from the furious dark slayer.

"Giles let you have this? I don't think so. I'm taking it." She turned to storm out of the room. Before she could reach it, the book disappeared from her hands. She turned furiously to attack Willow, but Buffy put herself between them.

"Willow? Give her the book."

"No! It's mine!" Willow clutched the book to her chest, her face contorted in anger.

"It's not yours! Give it to me!" Faith was reaching around Buffy attempting to grab it.

"Willow, please. Let her have the book. There must be a reason why she doesn't want you to have it." Buffy voice is soft and pleading.

Willow slowly started to calm, dropping her hands and the book to the floor. Faith scooped it up and ran out of the room.

Faith ran as fast as she could. The book clutched tightly in her hands. Once she was a few blocks away, she stopped.  _ Now, what the hell am I going to do? If I give this to Giles, what's going to stop her from taking it again? And how do I explain what it even is? _

She looked down at the book, tracing the symbol on the cover. She didn't know what it meant. She only knew it had to do with the ceremony Willow had been trying to perform. Based on Willow's reaction, it seemed like she did the right thing in taking it away. Having no choice, she headed to Giles'. She would need some way to convince him to destroy it or at least keep it away from Willow.

"Faith? I didn't expect to see you tonight. Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I just found this, and I thought you should have it." She entered his apartment and stood awkwardly in the living room.

Giles accepts the book, and Faith can see that he recognizes it. "You found this?"

"Yeah."

Giles glares down at her disapprovingly, and she feels herself shrinking under his gaze. "Ok, well, thank you."

"Wait... can you destroy it... or at least keep it locked up somewhere?"

"What do you know about this book?"

"Not much, only that it's dangerous."

"Did you take it from Willow?"

Faith's first instinct is to lie. She doesn't want to have to explain anything about the book. Somehow she nods instead.

"Does she does something in the future that might be dangerous with this?"

Faith shrugs, "I don't know exactly. I just recognized that symbol, and I didn't think it would be good for her to have it."

"Faith, I might be able to help if I knew more of what happened. I know I was never really your watcher, but I do care about you, and I would like to help you if I can. You don't have to do this alone."

Faith honestly didn't know what happened or what information might help prevent Willow from destroying the world. But she had begun to see Giles as an ally and thought he might be able to help keep an eye on Willow. "I don't know what happened. But... it might not be a terrible idea to keep a closer eye on what she's doing with magic."

"She doesn't seem to take to kindly to my interference with her magicks."

"No, I guess that's true. I'm really not sure what to do, she hates me, and I can't seem to..." Faith frowns, not wanting to reveal too much. She was supposed to come back and stop Willow from destroying the world, how was she supposed to do that if they hated each other?

"Have you spoken to Buffy about any of this?"

"No, I don't want to worry her. Willow is her best friend. I just want to make sure nothing bad happens." Faith clenched her fists and looked down at her feet.

"What about this witch you've mentioned. Might she help?"

Faith flopped herself onto the couch.  _ I just wanted him to take the damn book! Now he already knows way too much! _ "I haven't found her yet."

"You can trust me not to tell anyone. I hope you know that by now. I am on your side."

She sat forward and stared into his eyes, trying to decide. If she could tell someone, then maybe it wouldn't be her burden anymore. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry. Somehow that didn't feel right. They sent her back. She was the one who was supposed to fix this. "Can you just take care of the book? If I think of something that might help, I'll let you know."

His look is disappointed, but he nods, "I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, G. I'm going to head out."

**Buffy**

It's the day of the Prom. Hellhounds had attacked Xander and Cordelia earlier in the day. The rest of the scoobies and the watchers were reviewing the tape of the incident and had identified the likely culprit of the attack. Buffy starts to tune out their chatter. She stares at the entrance to the library as she can sense Faith is getting closer.

"Earth to Buffy?" Xander snaps his fingers in front of her face.

"What? Huh?" She replies once she regains awareness of where she is.

"I guess Faith will be here soon." Willow rolls her eyes and scoffs. Buffy bristled at the comment. She hated that Faith and Willow couldn't get along. But she couldn't figure out how to fix it. Faith would never defend herself. She would usually just leave whenever Willow's biting comments became too harsh. Buffy was half-tempted to lock them together so they could work out their differences, but she had a very real feeling only one of them would walk away from that.

Willow behaved completely different when Faith wasn't around, but she would harden as soon as the other slayer was even mentioned. It was tearing Buffy apart that they couldn't all be friends.

A few moments later, the younger slayer pushes the doors to the library open.

"Faith? What do you know about these hellhounds?" Willow shouts at her as soon as she's visible.

"Nice to see you too, Red. Now, what the hell are you talking about?" Faith responds, walking up to the table.

Xander points to the television monitor, "Hell beasts attacking kids, tell us what you know."

"I have no idea. I wasn't around for this." Faith only shrugs, her hands stuffed into her pockets.

"Yeah right," Willow rolls her eyes and scoffs. "Even if that were true, wouldn't we have told you about it after we figured it out?"

"Like you told me about all the other shit I missed? Like you told me about the council's 18th birthday present for B?" Faith was furious and moving towards Willow with her fists clenched. Buffy didn't know what to do. "You know what? Fuck this." Faith turned and stormed out of the library.

Buffy knew she was just waiting outside, that she hadn't run off. "What the hell is the matter with you guys? Do you honestly think she'd keep something from us that would help? I thought we'd figured it out all anyway."

"We know she has information she isn't sharing." Wesley chimes in, Buffy glares at him, and he looks away nervously. She only kept a somewhat civil relationship with him to keep the council away from Faith.

"Yeah, Willow only asked if she knew anything," Xander adds. Buffy had no idea why Xander seemed so upset with Faith lately. Initially, he seemed to really like her, but ever since Finch things had changed. Now he was almost as cold to her as Willow was.

"Yeah, I just asked, and she flipped out on me. I get how you much you like having another slayer around. But it's not fair that you always take her side." Willow scowled and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I don't always take her side! I'm not taking any sides. I thought we were all on the same side anyway!" Buffy was shouting and waving her arms in frustration.

Neither Willow nor Xander seemed convinced, Buffy held hope that someone else would point out how absurd they were being. But neither watcher, Cordelia nor Oz seemed interested in participating in the feud.

Buffy sighed and turned away from her friends. She couldn't explain to them how much Faith meant to her. She didn't even understand it herself.

"Why didn't she help when you could read minds?" Xander jumps in again.

"Yeah, she ran off as soon as she found out. Didn't try to help at all. Ahe must be hiding something!" Willow chimed in, way too excited to have more ammo to attack Faith with.

It's true that Faith and bolted as soon as Buffy told her about being able to read minds, but what they didn't know was that Buffy told her to go. Her friends had wanted her to use it to trick Faith and find out all the things that she wouldn't tell them. Buffy didn't even consider it for a second. She wouldn't violate Faith's trust that way.

Buffy turned to look at them. She was so confused, hurt, and angry, but she had no idea how to fix any of it. She just needed to get away from them. "Giles, you said these things like to eat brains, right? I'll track that down." Without another word, she exited the library, walking briskly through the hallway. Faith followed closely behind.

"You shouldn't fight with your friends over me. I'm not worth all that. It's not like they're wrong."

Buffy stopped and shoved Faith up against the locker, holding her there and staring into her eyes. Faith made no move to defend herself or fight back.

"Shut up." She was sick of everyone, including Faith telling her that Faith was garbage. Buffy knew that she was worth it. She just needed everyone else to figure it out too. Faith gave her patented grin and nodded. Buffy rolled her eyes and released her grip on Faith and started walking again. "Let's go kill these hell beasties and get ready for Prom."

"Prom?"

"Yeah, you're taking me to prom. Homecoming didn't work out, so this is your chance to make it up to me."

"You're saying slayer-fest was my fault somehow?"

"Isn't everything your fault? Why wouldn't that be too?" She said it as a joke but could tell Faith took her seriously. Their friendship had become a little confusing for Buffy. She always felt better when the other slayer was around, but she didn't quite understand how self-deprecating Faith had become. She was always so confident before, always seemed to say what was on her mind no matter who it might upset. She missed their playful banter and was trying to find ways to get it back.

"But.." Faith was almost whining, and Buffy started to laugh.

"I'm so just kidding." Buffy stuck her tongue and lightly shoved the younger slayer. This time Faith smiled back.

Buffy linked her arm with Faith's and continued out of the school.

"What happened with Xander? I thought he liked you?"

Faith paled and tried to pull away from Buffy, but Buffy kept her close. "I uh… that night after we were fighting that weird sisterhood cult… I missed out on a kill.. and he was there...soo.."

"You slept with him?"

Faith nodded, and Buffy ached at the shame she saw. In her mind, Buffy had separated Faith into two people, the one from before and the one from after. She somehow didn't hold the **_after_** Faith responsible for the **_before_** Faith's actions. She felt a ripple of anger and jealousy at the idea of the **_after_** Faith sleeping with Xander, but knowing that it was the **_before_** Faith, she only felt bad for Xander.

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No…"

"Maybe you should. He's probably just feeling used."

"He knew what he was getting into." Faith shrugged.

"Still, I don't think it can make things any worse."

"No, probably not. Ok… I'll try."

"Is that why Willow is so upset with you too?"

"What!? I would never have sex with Willow!"

Buffy bursts out laughing, "no, I mean because you slept with Xander."

"Oh.. right. I don't know if she knows. I think she's still pissed about the thing with the book."

**Faith**

They had tracked down and killed the hellhounds and retreated into the girl's locker room to change. Faith looked down at herself and frowned. She felt ridiculous. She was wearing the same dress she had worn to homecoming and was waiting for Buffy to come out so they could head to the prom.

Faith wonders at how she didn't even try to argue with Buffy about coming to this dance together.  _ Who am I kidding? I can't deny her anything, and I think she knows it.  _ Faith smiles a little at the thought. Even though she was wrapped around Buffy's little finger, Buffy didn't take advantage. Faith even occasionally got her way when they disagreed.

"You look really nice." Buffy smiles as she comes out of the stall. Faith's breath catches once she sees her. She wanted to make a joke, say something flirty. She had it all planned out, but the vision of Buffy made her forget her plan.

"You too, B." She whispers, her voice is a lot huskier than she wants it to be. Buffy smiles, which fills Faith with happiness.

"Let's go." The slayers link arms as they head to the high school gym.

Faith braces herself as they enter, spotting Willow, Oz, Xander, and Anya. Faith pulls Buffy towards her friends, "what are you doing? I don't want to go over there." Buffy whines a little and tries to pull away.

"They're your friends. You should be with them." Faith insists.

"I just can't take any more of the fighting. I don't know why it has to be so hard." Buffy frowned but stopped trying to pull away.

"I'll play nice, I promise." She gives Buffy a playful tap on the arm.

"It's not you playing nice that I'm worried about."

"They just don't understand, I can see why. They know I know things that I'm not telling. You can see why that'd bother them."  _ What I don't get is why it doesn't bother you. _

Faith has been increasingly confused by how nice Buffy has been to her. She still has no idea why Buffy always defended her to her friends.

Willow and Oz break off before the slayers can reach the group. "Go talk with Willow. I'm going to hang with Xander for a bit." Buffy pouts a little but nods her agreement.

Faith takes a deep breath and heads towards Xander. "Hey, Xan, Anya."

"He's mine, and you can't have him. Just because you're a slayer, don't think I won't fight you." She had learned about Anya and the insane alternate reality about a month ago when vampire Willow had been called into their world by accident. She hadn't spent much time with the ex-demon and had no idea that she and Xander were now dating.

Faith looks Xander up and down, and bites her lip, "Maybe we could share, I'm pretty sure he can handle us both." She winks at Xander, and he smiles back.

"No! I do not want to share!" Anya takes a step towards Faith, waggling her finger threateningly in Faith's face.

Faith chuckles and backs away, "Ok ok, don't hurt me. He's too much for me to handle anyway. He's all yours."

"Damn right, he's all mine." Anya loops her arm through Xander's and drags him onto the dance floor. Xander gives her a lopsided grin as he's dragged away. She's not sure if they're going to be ok now or not, she should probably say more, but she didn't think she could separate him from Anya without having to fight her.

Faith turns to watch Buffy, she's laughing with Willow. Faith can feel how happy and light Buffy is feeling. Faith smiles and heads towards the punch bowl.

"Hey, I thought you were going to hang out with me?"

"Was just getting some punch. Do you want?"

"Sure. Did you talk to Xander?" Faith hands Buffy a cup and takes a sip of her drink.

"Kinda, that Anya chick is interesting."

"She still seems to be getting a handle, on the whole, being a human thing."

"I like her. She doesn't hold anything back."

"No, I guess she doesn't." Buffy looked out on to the dance floor and frowned.

"Hey? What's the matter?"

"Nothing." Buffy pouted. Even if Faith couldn't feel the sadness from Buffy, it was obvious from her body language.

"That was convincing... do you want to dance? I'm sure anyone you want will dance with you."

Buffy looked at Faith, her eyes looking up at her hopefully. Faith swallowed, knowing who Buffy wanted to dance with.  _ We danced before, friends dance. It'll be ok. It will make her happy. _ "C' mon let's go join your friends. I'll dance with you. I'm sure that will get some guys to come over and ask you."

"Ok." Buffy smiled and accepted Faith's hand. Before they can make it to the dance floor, they began to announce the class awards. The slayers stand side by side, holding hands until the class protector award is given out. Buffy graciously accepts the award and returns to Faith.

"That's so awesome, B. It's about time someone notices all the ass-kicking you've done." Faith was really impressed that her classmates had given Buffy the award.

"This is yours too." Buffy tried to push the sparkly umbrella into Faith's hands, Faith refused the offering and shook her head.

"No way, it's all you. I'm just the supporting cast." Faith was amazed to find that it didn't bother her even a little to play second to Buffy's first. It had taken her quite a long time to understand the petty jealousy she felt for Buffy's position as first slayer was ridiculous.

Buffy smiled up at Faith. "Will you dance with me now?" Faith was trying to think of an excuse to say no, the music had slowed down significantly since she had first offered to dance. Now they would have to dance close and slow. It would be harder to pretend that it was just innocent friends dancing. "You owe me for homecoming, remember?"

Faith was afraid, but she still couldn't turn Buffy down. "Ok. Just keep your hands to yourself."

"I make no promises!" Buffy grinned, handing the award to Giles before walking with Faith to the edge of the dance floor.

**Buffy**

Buffy places her hands on Faith's shoulder and feels the tingles of their slayer connection shoot through her. Every time she touches Faith at all she feels it, they've been getting more and more intense every day. Faith still refuses to admit that she feels it too, it's the only thing she still lies to Buffy about. It annoys her that Faith lies about it, but she won't let herself be bothered by that right now. Right now she's getting her perfect high school moment, and she won't let Faith's stubbornness ruin it.

Faith's hands are on her waist, and they are gently swaying together, a healthy distance between them. Buffy knows everyone is staring at them, and she completely doesn't care. As the song went on, Faith began to caress Buffy's waist gently with her thumbs. Buffy did her best not to react, not wanting to draw attention to it. She knew Faith would stop if she did.

By the time the music stopped, there was barely any space between them. Buffy could hear Faith's heart pounding. Her own heart was beating just as hard. She didn't understand what it all meant. She knew something was happening between them though, and whatever it was, it was going to be great.

The slayers slowly backed away from each other, "Thank you, that was..." Buffy couldn't even say what it was. She was confused and scared and knew that Faith was too.

"Yeah." Faith breathed.

"Guess we better go. We're going to find that witch tomorrow, right?" Buffy was nervous about searching out the witch that Faith had told them about, and she couldn't figure out why.

It wasn't that she believed the girl would be dangerous, Faith had said she was a good witch, just that she was going to get into trouble. If Buffy had been ready to admit to what she was feeling, she could have recognized the jealousy in seeing Faith caring about another girl. But she wasn't ready for that at all.


	23. Chapter 23

**Faith**

The slayers slowly walked home, each lost in their own thoughts. Faith was feeling pretty good about everything. She had a great night with Buffy, maybe made things a little better with Xander and had avoided fighting with Willow. Tomorrow she was finally going to be able to take care of Tara, once she did that, she thought she'd be able to stop worrying about what was going to happen. She'd be able to relax and just live in the normal hell of being a slayer on the Hellmouth. She's lost in her thoughts and doesn't immediately notice that Buffy has stopped walking, or that her emotions have shifted in a less than pleasant direction.

"Can you tell me more about this witch? What's so important about her, anyway?"

"I don't know that much about her. I only spent a few minutes with her."

Buffy was quiet, and Faith could sense how upset Buffy suddenly was.

"There must be something more to her. You wouldn't have gone through all the trouble you did to find her if there wasn't more. Willow is going to be furious with both of us if she ever figures out that I tricked her into helping you."

Faith sighed, "I don't want to mess anything up for you and Red, but I couldn't find her on my own. Helping Tara was the only thing besides dealing with the Mayor that I could actually do. That's the only reason I want to help her."

Buffy still didn't seem too convinced, "What did you two do during the few minutes you spent together?"

"We just talked, she explained some things to me about our slayer connection." Faith was struggling with the shift from the happiness she was feeling a few minutes ago to the anger she was feeling now from Buffy. It caused her to drop her defenses.

"You mean the slayer connection that you still claim doesn't exist?" Buffy grinned, and Faith knew she was busted. At least the admission seemed to make Buffy a little less angry.

"Yeah.. that slayer connection." Faith groaned and ran her hand through her hair. "She explained to me how I could tap into it, that we could feel each other's emotions through it."  _ Oh god, why did I tell her that? I didn't have to tell her that! _

"That's how you knew to help me that night after I sent Angel away." Buffy frowned and wrapped her arms around herself. Faith guessed that she was starting to put more and more things together.

"I could feel how much you were hurting."

"Can we send emotions through it?" Buffy's eyes narrowed, a slight edge to her voice.

Faith sighed, "yeah. But I swear I only did that to you once. When I first came back, I was so freaked out. I just needed you to be calm."

"Just that one time?"

Faith nodded, hoping that Buffy wouldn't dig into this too much more.

"But.. does that mean.." Buffy's frown deepened, and she ran off into the woods. Faith immediately chased after her. It took Faith a few minutes to find her. Buffy was standing amongst the trees, with her hands covering her face.

"What are you doing? Why did you run away?" Buffy turned to face Faith, tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying? What happened?" Faith could barely come to terms with how much it hurt her to see Buffy crying. There was nothing she wouldn't do to make those tears go away.

"This whole time you've been able to feel my emotions. That's why you're so different. I've been manipulating you."

"You haven't been." Faith started pacing in front of Buffy, "Ok, maybe you have been, but not like you think. It's not a bad thing."

"How can it not be a bad thing? I've been controlling you and making you do things you didn't want to do!"

Faith grinned and shook her head, "You didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do. I didn't get your lazy ass a soda the other night, did I?"

"I wasn't being lazy! I was wounded!"

"You mean that tiny scrape on your elbow?" Faith smirked.

"It wasn't tiny, and this so isn't the point!"

Faith's grin dropped, and she looked away. "I know.. I was just hoping to avoid having to explain this." Faith shifted nervously, "Things went really bad for me after.. the accident. I was given this second chance and didn't want to make the same mistakes - so I sort of used your emotions as a guide. You didn't do anything wrong. You couldn't have known what was going on."

"I knew something was going on," Buffy pouted, still feeling guilty.

"Yeah, maybe. But I knew exactly what was happening. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

Buffy shrugged her shoulders, "this is still weird. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't like that you changed for me."

"Easy there, princess! I didn't change for you. I mean, I know you're great and all that, but I changed for me. I didn't like who I was becoming."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "I'm not a princess!"

"Yeah, you kinda are. But it works for you." Faith smirked, and she could feel Buffy relaxing.

"Do you think Tara can teach me how to open the connection?"

"I'm not sure, she'll be younger now. She might not know as much as she did." Faith thought Buffy was going to be more than a little upset when she finally did figure out how to open the connection. She hoped Tara would help them get some control over the connection, so Buffy wouldn't understand how powerful it had been for Faith all this time.

"Wait, what do you mean younger, I thought you only met her around graduation?"

_ Shit. Fuck. Damn it! _ Faith groaned at her stupidity. She paced more frantically for a few moments and then dropped to the ground, leaning against a tree and lightly knocking her head against it.

"Faith?"

She leaned forward and closed her eyes. "Not being able to lie to you is extremely annoying."

"Faith!"

"OK, so… we met Tara three years from now."

"What!?"

"We got trapped in some kind of other dimension, where time moves differently. When we were finally pulled out, three years had passed, that's when we met Tara."

"How have you never mentioned this before?"

"We weren't there that long, and I didn't know anything that was going on anyway. Nothing that happened then - matters now."

Buffy glared at her disapprovingly, "you do remember from two seconds ago that I can tell when you're lying, right?"

Faith groaned again, "ok, so maybe it matters. But only because I was sent back to stop it. The things that happen don't matter."

"Does this girl start an apocalypse or something? I thought you said she was a good witch?"

"She is a good witch. It's not her fault that bad things happen. Bad things just happen because of her."

_ Please, please stop asking about this.  _ Faith silently chants in her head, unable to make eye contact with Buffy while she waits to see what the angry blonde slayer says next. She's relieved when she can tell Buffy is calming, she's definitely still agitated, but Faith believes she's going to let things go, for now at least.

"Were we.. friends in the future? Did I trust you?"

"Yeah, we were friends, and yeah, you trusted me."

Buffy was silent for a while, "Do you think that's why I trust you now?"

"You trust me now?" Faith asks, truly surprised.

"You don't think I trust you? Why else would I keep letting you get away with not telling me things?"

"Oh.. yeah. Guess I was just too busy being grateful that you didn't keep asking me about things to think about why."

Faith could feel Buffy staring at her. She couldn't bring herself to meet the angry glare that she was sure was there. With all the things she had just confessed, she was sure Buffy would realize she was insane and decide to ditch her as soon as possible.

The voices in her head are drowning out the emotions that Buffy was sending her.  _ Shit, she's probably going to think I did something to her. Some kind of magic to make her trust me. _ Faith began squeezing her left thigh, digging in deeper and deeper with every passing moment.  _ I knew this wouldn't work, I don't belong here, I'm going to help Tara, and then I can leave. B won't want me here now. She might not even want to help me with Tara. Why do I always have to screw everything up!? _ She was so sure that everything was ruined that she was barely aware of what Buffy was actually feeling at the moment.

"Faith? I do, you know."

"What?" Buffy's voice startled her, and she looked up, the grip on her thigh starting to relax.

"Trust you." Buffy moved closer and offered her hand to Faith, helping her to stand.

The voices in Faith's head started to wither away, barely a whisper now. The caring, loving emotions from Buffy were once again making it through to Faith's awareness. The slayers walked home in silence. Faith was beginning to feel her confidence return and her hope that after tomorrow, all of her worries about the future would be over.

As much as Faith had tried, no one would let them take their car without a license. Luckily, Giles had agreed to take them on the 3-hour drive to meet with Tara. She and Giles had been getting closer and closer, she began to feel like he cared about her almost as much as he cared about Buffy. It was a long quiet drive, Faith sat in the back and tried to figure out what she was going to tell Tara to get her to stay away.

Making their way up the long driveway to the farmhouse, they can already hear yelling, and they haven't even gotten out of the car yet. A blonde girl runs from the house, tears streaming down her face. She doesn't see the slayers at first. She stops dead in her tracks as she sees them exit the vehicle.

"Was someone hurting you in there?" Faith asks, jumping out of the car and moving quickly towards Tara.

"No.." Her voice is weak, and the bruise forming on her cheek quickly proves her words a lie.

"Tara! Get your ass back in here!" A man appears in the doorway, shaking his clenched fist.

"Change of plans, B." Faith puts herself between the witch and the angry man. "Do you have any stuff in there you care about?"

"A few things." Tara shrugs, her voice barely a whisper.

"Ok, let's go get your stuff and get the hell out of here." Faith starts to make her way to the front door.

"What.. no.. I can't." Tara stammers and starts to back away.

"Yes, you can. We're going to help you." Faith motions to Tara, and hopes she won't take much more convincing.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Faith, that's Buffy. We'll explain more once we get you safe."

"You aren't taking her anywhere." The man stands with his arms folded over his chest.

"You're 18 by now, right?" Tara nods. "Pretty sure that means you can't tell her what to do anymore." Faith calls to the man, pushing past him, keeping herself protectively between Tara and her father.

Tara freezes once they get to her room. "This is crazy. I can't just go with you. I don't even know who you are."

"Look at me. Really look at me." Faith suggests, Tara frowns and looks at her feet. "Maybe you don't like to do it, but I'm telling you to read my aura or whatever it is that you do." Tara still refuses to look up at Faith. Spotting the crystal she remembers Tara using to show them their auras before, Faith grabs it and holds it up. "Do you need this?"

Tara's eyes widen in shock, "H-how.."

"I can explain later. We just have to get out of here." She can hear the sound of a shotgun being cocked and then the sound of Buffy very likely bending that shotgun into a pretzel. "Are you ok down there, B?"

"Five by five." Buffy's voice calls up the stairs and Faith chuckles.

"One thing…" Faith whispers, hoping Buffy can't hear her, "when you do finally see us… don't tell her how connected we are. I'm not ready for her to know."

Tara gives her a strange look, but nods. Faith could only hope the girl would trust her enough to cooperate.

"Grab your stuff, and let's go." Tara finally starts moving. Five minutes later, the three women are out of the house and heading back to the car.

"She's a demon you know, she's got evil inside of her!" The man calls out from the porch.

Tara freezes and turns back to her family. "He's right. It's not safe. I have to go back."

"No - you don't. He's lying. There is no demon in you."

"What? How do you know I'm not?"

"I just do. Now come on."

The trio piles into the car and begin their trek to Sunnydale. Faith and Buffy in the back seat, Tara in the passengers.

"Tara - this is Giles. He's our... friend? What the hell are you now, anyway?"

Giles glares at Faith but doesn't get a chance to respond before Tara speaks.

"Why are you helping me?" Tara is nervously shifting around in the seat, looking as if she's considering jumping out of the car at any moment.

"She's from the future!" Buffy offers excitedly.

"B!" Faith hisses, this so wasn't the plan. But now the plan was ruined, so it didn't matter anyway.

"What do you mean you're from the future?" Tara's nervous stuttering makes Faith uneasy. Tara had been completely confident in their brief interactions, it made her wonder what else Willow had done to the poor girl.

"Some bad things happened, I got a chance to come back and try to fix those things. One of the things was that you get into trouble. So I'm going to try and help make sure that doesn't happen."

"Oh… but…"

"Have you read our auras yet?" Faith hoped that if Tara could read them that she'd see enough to trust her and hopefully let this go for now.

Tara nervously shakes her head, "I'm not very good at it."

Faith sighs. "Just try. Please."

Tara nods and lets out a gasp. "What are you?"

"We're vampire slayers." Buffy immediately answered, and Faith tried not to wince.

"You're made of magic!" Tara exclaims, making a weird squeaking sound.

"Yeah, we kinda are." Faith grins back at her. The witch's excitement was infectious, and Faith started to feel a little more confident about what they were doing.

"I thought there was only supposed to be one slayer?"

"I kinda died for a little bit. All better now, though." Buffy grinned at Tara, who was turned in her seat to face the slayers.

"Where are you taking me?"

Faith paused, unsure for a moment, "Yeah.. guess we need to figure that out. We weren't actually planning on taking you anywhere… but you can't stay with those people."

"She can stay with us until we figure something out." Buffy offers.

"I'm going to UC Sunnydale in a couple of weeks for the summer semester," Tara says and Faith groans.

"Any chance of you going to some other school?"

"No… it's all set up. It was a lot of work to arrange without my family knowing about it."

"I think you'll like my friend Willow. We're both starting at UC Sunnydale in the fall, and she's a witch." Faith's insides clenched at the mention of Willow. Everything was quickly falling apart.

"Another witch!" Tara's eyes filled with excitement.

"Yeah, and her boyfriend is a werewolf. Our lives are kinda complicated." Faith offers, hoping there was still some chance to keep the witches from getting too close.

"A werewolf!"

"Don't worry. Oz isn't a bad werewolf. We lock him up whenever it's a full moon. He's never hurt anyone."

"Oh.. ok."

**Buffy**

Buffy notices that Faith is suddenly extremely tense and muttering to herself. "Giles? Can you pull over for a minute? I think I saw something that we should go check out."

She meets her former watcher's eyes in the mirror and silently pleads with him to stop. He looks over at Faith and nods, pulling over, "Faith? Let's go check it out." Faith doesn't even seem to notice that Buffy is talking to her. Buffy pushes her out the door and climbs out after her.

"What? Why did we stop? What are we doing out here?" Faith asks once she finally seems to be aware of anything.

"What happened? I thought you would be happy about helping Tara?"

"I am."

"You're bleeding." Buffy points at Faith's thigh. Faith had somehow managed to dig so hard into her leg that she broke the skin. It was barely visible in the dark material of her jeans, but Buffy knew it was there.

"Shit." Faith tries to wipe it away and turns to head back to the car.

"Please, talk to me." Buffy reaches for her hand and pulls her back. Her heart is breaking as she sees the pain in Faith's eyes.

Faith hangs her head, "it was going to be over. I'd get Tara to stay away from Sunnydale and then it would be over. But now it's not over, and it might even be worse now. But there's no choice, she can't stay there, and there's nowhere else to send her."

"You were trying to keep her away? Why didn't you tell me that?"

"I just thought it would be easier not to." Buffy wants to scream in frustration at Faith.  _ If she had just told me the plan, maybe I could have helped. Not that we had a choice. I just wish I knew what was going to happen and why she was so upset. _

"You're not alone with this. Let me help you."

"It's too late. There's no point."

"How can it be too late? She's fine, and we can stop whatever it was from happening together."

"I don't even know what happened or when. How can we stop it?"

Buffy wraps her arms around Faith and pulls her close, the younger slayer's head is hung low, and she leans into Buffy's shoulder. "We just will, we'll stop it like we stop everything else. Together."

Faith doesn't seem to be listening. Buffy grabs her face, makes her look into her eyes. "You have to believe that we can fix this. You were sent back for a reason. You've already completely changed my life for the better. You will change hers for the better too."

"Are you sure your life is better?" Faith asks, and Buffy is shocked at the vulnerability she sees in Faith.

"You haven't told me much, but I get the feeling we weren't friends at this point before. The fact that we are now, definitely makes my life better. I can't even imagine my life without you in it." Buffy searches Faith's eyes, wishing she had access to the slayer connection so she could tell what Faith was feeling. All she could do was send Faith all the love and support she felt.

It seemed to be working, Faith's posture was improving. She backed away from Buffy and rolled her shoulders, turning back into the Faith that she showed everyone else.

"Ok, you're right. I have time. It's not too late."

"WE have time. I'm not even asking you to tell me anything, just let me help you. Let me take some of the pressure."

"Right, we have time." Faith nodded and turned to head back to the car.

"Were you going to leave after helping Tara?" Buffy's voice was soft as she asked, her heart racing as she waited to see what Faith would say. Faith didn't immediately respond, "is that what you meant by it would be over? You wouldn't have to stick around Sunnydale anymore?"

Faith finally turned around to look Buffy in the eyes, "The only way I'll ever leave, is if you want me to."


	24. Chapter 24

**Tara**

_ What on earth is going on here? How did I get caught up with two vampire slayers? And one of them was sent back in time? _

Tara sat quietly in the passenger seat, she didn't like to look too closely at peoples auras, but Faith had asked her to. She looked deeper than she usually would.

There was a void within Faith, a fracture in her essence, Buffy's energy was searching that fracture out and attempting to push it back together. Tara watched as the fracture would close slightly only to re-open. Progress was slowly being made to repair the damage, but it was still quite large, and Tara wasn't sure it would be possible for Buffy's energy to close it without help. Faith's spirit was fighting with the void as well. It seemed to be struggling desperately to hold itself together, only in the places where the two slayers' energies combined did anything stay together for any length of time.

The way their auras danced around each other was mesmerizing. She could even feel it reaching into her own. She felt connected to everything, for the first time since her mother had died, she felt like she belonged somewhere. Her mother had taught her how to tap into the energy around her, how to read and feel all living things.

When her mother died, she shut herself off from it. Her father had told her that she was evil, and any magic she did was dangerous. She focused her magical studies on how to rid herself of evil, thinking that if she weren't evil, it would be safe for her to be part of the world. Nothing she did ever changed the way she felt, she began to hope this was because her father was lying to her. Faith telling her that she wasn't a demon confirmed this for her. Now she was letting herself feel the magic freely that she had cut herself off from for so long.

As Tara accepted the magic into herself, she watched in amazement as her energy combined with the slayers'. Her energy joined Buffy's in helping to repair the void within Faith. As Buffy and Faith were explaining about the witch, she saw ripples of pain and confusion pass through Faith. The ripples were fighting with all of the positive energies and refusing their influence. Tara could feel Faith's pain but had no idea how to help. She was relieved when Buffy seemed to notice and pushed Faith out of the car.

"Everything will be OK, Tara. You will be quite safe with Buffy and Faith." She did not doubt that he was right, as soon as she read them, Tara knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

"How much do you know about them?" Tara nervously asked. She was worried about whatever was bothering Faith and more than a little curious as to what their connection was.

"I've spent most of my life studying the slayer."

That wasn't quite what she wanted to know. She felt there was something more significant about them than just their slayerness. Tara was quiet for a while. She wasn't sure about anything she'd seen so far. Tara was incredibly shy, most of her time was spent alone or with her family. Her mother died eight years ago, and since then her life had been one of servitude. She had been allowed to go to school, but because her whole life she had believed she was a demon, she was sure to keep her distance from everyone.

Meeting Faith had changed everything for her. She now knew that the magic she had closed herself off from was good and not evil as she had been told. Opening herself up to it completely for the first time since her mother died, she could feel everything. The earth was calling to her and filling her spirit. She almost cried from how amazing it felt.

"Are you ok?" She was shocked out of her magic haze by Giles' voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's ok, I just... I've closed myself from magic for so long. Feeling it again..." She smiled a little and then became nervous under his watchful eye. She knew his intentions weren't to scare her. She just wasn't used to men being kind to her.

"Faith didn't tell us very much about you. She only mentioned that you are a witch and able to read auras. I have many books on the subject but was never able to master the skill myself. You are welcome to any of them."

"Thank you." She smiled shyly at him and then looked out the window. She was desperate for the slayers to return.

She breathed a sigh of relief as they finally climbed back into the car, whatever was bothering them seemed to be cleared up. Faith was no longer in pain. It confused Tara that she could tell what Faith was feeling, it wasn't the same with Buffy or Giles. The energy she felt from Faith reminded her of something, but she couldn't quite place it.

"Sorry about that, G didn't bore you or anything, did he?" Giles grunted a little at Faith's comment, but he also smiled. It seemed like Faith enjoyed picking on him, but he didn't mind. Since she had opened herself up to magic again, Tara watched their auras interact without her usual restraint. She marveled as Faith's energy mixed with Buffy's, Giles' and even her own.

"No.. he didn't bore me."

"Good, let's get going." Faith smirked and leaned back into the seat.

They arrived a few hours later at the Summers' home.

"Thanks for your help, G." Faith offers as they exit the vehicle.

"Of course, Faith. I think you've done a very good thing here. I hope we see each other again soon, Tara." Giles smiles at her, and she nods in reply, unable to actually speak.

The slayers grab Tara's belongings and bring them inside. Tara stands nervously in the doorway.

"Mom! I brought home another stray!" Buffy shouts as they enter the house.

"Buffy?"

"Mom - this is Tara. She's going to stay with us for a couple of weeks until she can move into the dorms."

Tara tries to hide her face behind her hair, but it's too late, Buffy's mother has seen the large bruise on her cheek. She gives a sympathetic look but doesn't comment.

"Nice to meet you, Tara. You can call me Joyce. Are you girls hungry?"

"Do you even have to ask that, Mrs. S?" Faith responds, and Joyce shakes her head while smiling.  _ So far everyone Faith interacts with seems to be happier for it. Yet she doesn't see it. _

"You girls get settled, and I'll call you when dinner is ready," Joyce says as she heads into the kitchen.

Buffy heads upstairs with Faith trailing her, "Uh, B. What's the plan here? Only two beds, remember?"

"I figure she can have my room, and I'll stay with you until she moves out."

Tara can tell how agitated Faith is by the suggestion. "I can just sleep on the couch. It's no problem." Tara offers, not fully understanding what is upsetting Faith.

"Nonsense!" Buffy waves her hand, and it's clear the decision has been made.

_ These two have a bizarre relationship. They're soulmates, and they both know it, but also seem to be in complete denial. I'm going to have to be very careful around them.  _ Tara could guess from her own insecurities that Faith needed to heal more of herself before she could accept the love that the slayers were destined to share.

The next day and a half were a complete whirlwind for Tara. She was not used to receiving so much positive attention, or any attention really. Buffy's mom had been incredibly kind, asking her about what her plans for school were and avoided asking anything about her past or her family. On Sunday, the slayers had shown her around town. She enjoyed watching them interact, often finding herself just watching them and not paying attention to what they were saying. She watched in amazement as their auras combined and affected everyone they came across. It was against her better judgment to read strangers this way, but she just couldn't help herself.

Buffy had wanted to introduce her to the "Scooby gang" today, but Faith was able to get her to agree to wait until school tomorrow. Tara was grateful for a little more time to adjust to her strange new situation.

Buffy had tried asking her about their slayer connection and if Tara knew anything about it. She was able to avoid answering any of Buffy's questions, saying she had to do more research. While it was technically true, she didn't think it would be too hard to guide them into becoming more connected. Buffy was disappointed but didn't push. Tara found herself in awe of the small blonde slayer and her boundless energy.

The next morning Tara comes downstairs to find Faith waiting for her.

"You have to get out of here, do you have anywhere else you can go? Anywhere?" Faith's eyes are pleading, and she is radiating fear.

"What? I don't want to leave. Why do I have to leave?"  _ There is no way I'm leaving. This is where I belong. _

"It's not safe. If you stay here, some seriously bad things will happen." Faith was nervous, her leg bouncing, and she kept looking at the door like she thought someone was about to come in.

"Do I do something?"

"No, it's nothing you do."

"When does this awful thing happen?"

"I don't exactly know, maybe in a year from now."

"So, I'm not in danger right now?"

Faith frowns and shuffles her feet, and Tara can see how afraid she is. "No, you're not in danger yet, I don't think."

"Well... how about we wait until there's some more obvious threat. Now that I know there is danger, maybe I'll be more prepared for it."

Faith groaned in frustration. "I don't like this. I'd feel better if I knew you were away from here."

"I know you would, and I'm sorry. I don't have anywhere else to go. This is the only place I'm safe from my family right now. I can work on figuring something out for the Fall. How does that sound?" She had no intention of going somewhere else in the Fall, but she hoped to alleviate some of Faith's concern.

"That should be OK, I guess."

"OK, great. Is there any coffee?"

Faith nods and Tara gets herself a cup. "Thanks for being so cool about everything with B. I know you know more than you told her."

"She's a fiery one, isn't she?" Tara grinned as she sipped her drink.

Faith chuckled, "she is, she really is."

Tara watched the brunette, "what do you want to do with all her questions?"

"Can you avoid them for a little while longer? At least..."

"Until you get your bed back?" Tara was surprised at her own comment. She had spoken more to Faith in the past two days than she had to anyone else since her mother.

Faith blushed and looked away, "yeah, at least until then. She's probably going to be super pissed..." Tara was pretty sure of how Buffy was going to react and thought it was unlikely she was going to be angry. It seemed that Faith was more worried that Buffy was going to be the opposite of upset.

"OK, yeah. I do need to do more research, so it's not completely a lie. How did I help you with the connection anyway?"

"That crystal I asked you about, when we touched it, we could see our auras. Once we saw them, it was possible to feel the energy all the time. We didn't have a whole lot of time to learn more about it. It might be good to get a little control, sometimes.. she kinda hurts me with her feelings."

"She hurts you? Like physically?" Tara was truly shocked. She had never heard of such a thing.

"She doesn't mean to hurt me. She doesn't even know that it's happening. It just might be good if there's a way to get some control over that. Sometimes when we're on patrol, and she gets worried, it can be a little distracting."

"I can probably help you block the connection."

Faith frowned at the suggestion. "No.. I don't want that."

"Are you sure? If she's hurting you..."

"No.. I..." Faith turned away from Tara, looking very nervous.

Tara wasn't sure what to say. She felt like she was treading in a dangerous area and didn't want to push Faith until she learned more about the girl. "It's ok. I'll see what I can find out if there's a way to control it a little at least." Faith seemed to relax slightly at this suggestion.

Faith glanced over at the clock and groaned, "guess we better get ready to go meet everyone."

"You don't want me to meet them, do you? Or is it just the witch you don't want me to meet?"

Faith shook her head and straightened herself out, returning to her usually confident demeanor. "Doesn't matter, no avoiding it now. I should warn you though... the Scooby gang kinda hates me."

"They hate you? Why?" Tara was completely confused. She couldn't even begin to imagine how anyone could hate Faith. Just her presence and the energy pouring from her should bring happiness to anyone near her.

Faith's eyes widen, "why?"

"Usually people have some kind of reason to hate people."

"Well... I think Xander is mad cause I slept with him and then kicked him out. We might be ok now though. I'm not sure. Giles is cool, and Wesley is just British - somehow more British than Giles. I never really thought about why Red hates me so much."

_ " _ Red?"

"Willow - that's the witch."

"And she hates you?"

"Yeah, you'll see." Faith shrugged, looking very defeated.

"Do you think there's something wrong with you? That you somehow deserve to be hated?"

"What? No…"

"But you seem just to accept that Willow hates you."

"You don't know me. You don't know the things I've done." Faith made unwavering eye contact as she said this. She seemed to gain strength from believing that she deserved to be hated.

"True. But… you were never afraid of me reading you. You seemed to think that would make me trust you. If there were something bad or wrong about you, I would have seen it."

Faith looks down in confusion, "I guess I didn't think about it. You trusted me in the future, so I guess I just figured you would now too." Faith started to back away, looking very scared.

"I don't mean to be freaking you out. I'm usually not quite so .. vocal… but honestly, I feel kind of connected to you. I'm still trying to figure it out all out." Faith still didn't seem to be relaxing. "I don't know anything about what your life has been like. But I do know what it's like to think that you have no value. To think that you're always wrong and that you deserve whatever awful thing people tell you that you deserve."

Faith's posture relaxed a little, "your family really hurt you didn't they?"

"They did, and I'm still working through it. Figuring out what's really me and what's the me they tried to turn me into. Maybe you can relate to that?"

"I…" Faith looked torn between bolting out of the room and breaking down into tears. She tightened her face instead, "yeah. Maybe I do."

Tara smiled, she got the sense that Faith had never really thought about herself in these terms before. That she just believed she was bad, or wrong. Maybe even evil. "I'm going to go get cleaned up. Leave in about an hour?"

Faith barely nodded her head. Tara wasn't sure she heard her.

Two hours later, Faith and Tara enter the school. Before they can reach the library, they run into Willow. As soon as Tara sees Willow, she makes a small squeaking sound that only Faith could hear. She looks over at Faith and shrugs, mouthing " _ sorry." _ Faith gives an exaggerated sigh and rolls her eyes.

"What was that all about Faith? Keeping more secrets?" Willow snaps. Tara is shocked by this response. Faith had warned her, but she wasn't ready for the venom coming from the witch. Especially not with the contrast of what she first felt when she saw her. In her shock, she read Willow's energy. She couldn't see anything affecting Willow. She got a strange sense that something knew she was looking for it and was hiding from her.

When either slayer was around other people, their auras were always reaching out, touching everyone they came near. This time though, Willow's aura was rejecting Faith's. There was an odd cushion around Willow preventing Faith's energy from interacting with it. She hadn't seen anything like that in any of the other people Faith had been near.

"Give me a break, Red. Tara, this is Willow - Willow - Tara." Faith grumbled.

"Tara? As in the girl, Buffy had me track down? Don't tell me that had something to do with you!" Tara could feel energy rising within Willow. She knew the witch had access to power, but luckily didn't seem to know how to use it.

Tara is tugging on Faith's arm, "can we go? I want to go."

"What did you tell her, Faith? Doesn't she know you can't be trusted?!" It wasn't just the things Willow was saying, but the way she was saying them. Her face was twisted unnaturally as she spoke.

Faith keeps herself between Willow and Tara, letting herself be pulled down the hallway. Willow hadn't taken her eyes off of Faith until they began to back away. When she finally looked at Tara, her features softened. She stood stock still, and her face changed from fury to confusion. She blinked a few times and shook her head before backing away.

"Faith? Tara? Where are you going?" They ran into Buffy before they could escape the school.

"B, I thought you were going to warn Willow about Tara? She's extra pissed now." Faith's shoulders sagged as she spoke.

"I did warn her. I told her she was my friend, and you were bringing her by today." Buffy looked very sad and confused.

"Don't think she believed you. Look, we're gonna go."

"But…"

"Maybe we can do one on one meets later? Or maybe it'll be better without me there." Tara ached for how much pain Faith was in.

"I'm so sorry, Tara. I thought she would be ok. She was fine earlier today." Buffy offered Tara a sad smile.

Tara couldn't respond, she just kept a grip on Faith's arm and pulled her out of the school.

"Shit, I'm sorry about that. Red looked even more crazy than usual." Faith groaned as they exited the school.

"Is there a magic shop around here?"

"Why? Is something making her act like that? Can you fix her?"

"I think so."

Faith's eyes lit up, and she picked up the pace. "Let's get a move on then!"

It took two weeks before Tara was able to gather all the ingredients she needed. In that time she had met the rest of the Scoobies and seen Willow a few more times. Faith had been sure to keep her distance from Willow and Tara was amazed at how differently Willow acted when Faith wasn't around. It made her more and more certain of what she suspected.

It had always puzzled her that she could never see any darkness within herself when she had believed her father's lies about being evil. During her research, she had learned of something called the First Evil. It was an evil a person had to accept into themselves and would begin to change the person to act in the First's interests. Something about the nature of this evil allowed it to hide from her. She felt strongly that was what was affecting Willow now. She didn't think the First held much influence over Willow. When Faith wasn't around, there wasn't even the slightest indication that Willow wasn't the sweet, caring girl she appeared to be.

Tara knew that Faith was very special but didn't understand why the First would want Willow to hate her. She assumed it had something to do with what Faith was trying to prevent, but she couldn't get Faith to explain any of it to her.

It was almost time for Tara to move into the dorms, and they were going to have a party to celebrate that and graduation. Faith had made Tara promise not to tell Buffy what she was planning. Whether it worked or not, she didn't want Buffy to think anything was ever wrong with Willow.

Tara was in the kitchen preparing her special tea, whispering a few words as she mixed the ingredients. Everyone would have to drink it, but it wouldn't affect anyone else. Even Willow shouldn't notice anything strange. She had told Faith to wait an hour before coming in from patrol. That should give the magic time to work.  _ Here goes nothing. _ She smiles to herself and carries the drinks out to the living room.

Everyone happily drinks the tea and continues their banter. Tara smiles as she watches them - Xander, Anya, Buffy, Willow, and Oz. She never had people in her life, and she was immensely happy to have such amazing people in it now. She had been blown away by how quickly they accepted her into their lives. The only thing missing now was Faith, and if this worked, she wouldn't have to be missing much longer.

Tara noticed Buffy getting a faraway look, and she kept glancing at the door. Tara knew that meant Faith was almost here. Tara could feel Faith the same way she suspected Buffy could, but it didn't seem nearly as strong or to cover the same distance.

"Hey, guys." Faith offers as she enters and pauses in the doorway.

Tara watches Willow's face carefully, she sees a weird flicker and then a head shake. Willow's eyes make it to Faith and… nothing.

"Hey, we're just hanging out if you want to join," Buffy suggests hopefully, everyone turns to look at Willow.

"What? Why are you all looking at me?" Willow looked startled and confused.

"Maybe because you never pass up a chance to say something nasty to Faith?" Anya cheerfully suggests.

"Oh.. I don't… err… I don't mind if she hangs out with us." Her face a mask of confusion.

"Thanks, Red. I think I'm just going to head back out on patrol though. I'll see you all tomorrow to help with the moving." She smiles and heads up the stairs.

Tara was a little disappointed that Faith decided not to stay, but it was always the plan. They weren't sure how long it would last, and they didn't want it to seem too obvious that Willow was suddenly acting differently.

"I'm going to grab more snacks. Anybody want anything?" She received a few requests and headed into the kitchen.

"So it worked?" Faith had managed to sneak back downstairs and into the kitchen.

"I think so." Tara smiled in reply.

"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me." Faith moved in to hug Tara. The hug ended when Faith gasped and backed away.

"Faith? Are you OK?" Buffy was in the kitchen now.

_ What just happened? I felt something too. Was that Buffy's emotions hurting Faith? _

Faith groaned, "Yeah, I'm fine. You just surprised me. Tara - tell her about the crystal." Tara was momentarily confused, but then she remembered.  _ Faith can't lie to Buffy, so she needs me to lie for her. I hope they're ready for this. _

"I was just telling Faith that I think I can help you open the slayer connection, I have a crystal that will let you see your auras. I was just confirming with her that that's what I did last time to help you."

"Can we do it now?" Buffy is bouncing with excitement at the idea.

"How about this weekend? After I'm settled in the dorm? We'll probably need privacy, and I have a little more research I'd like to do."  _ I hope I can help them block the connection at least a little. Buffy's emotions must be extremely strong for her to hurt Faith like that. She doesn't seem like she's being particularly emotional, but what else could it be? _

Buffy frowned but nodded, turning back to Faith. "OK. Are you sure you don't want to hang out with us tonight?"

"I just stopped by for supplies, gotta get back out there." Faith smiled, picking up her gear and heading out the back door.

Buffy frowned a little and shook her head, Tara's heart ached for them. They were both struggling in different ways with their feelings, she wasn't at all sure connecting them more was going to help, but it was too late now.


	25. Chapter 25

**Tara**

Tara didn't have a tremendous amount of belongings, so it didn't take very long to move her into her dorm room.

"Can we do it now?" Buffy asked as soon as the last box had been brought in.

"Come on, B, give her a bit to get settled." Faith commented, and Tara had to stifle a giggle at Buffy's eagerness.

"But.. yeah, ok." Buffy pouted and dropped down onto the bed.

Tara chuckled to herself and tried to come up with a way to get Faith to give them some time alone without being obvious. "Faith, why don't you go grab us some food while Buffy and I start putting things away."

Faith looked nervously at Buffy and sighed, "Ok, I'll be back."

She watched Buffy track Faith's movements down the hallway and shook her head. She gave her a few more moments to recover from her Faith haze. A term she and Willow had recently coined for whenever Buffy would go into a trance because of Faith leaving or returning.

Tara had changed immensely in the short time she had spent with the slayers. The past ten years of her life were spent trying to make herself small and unobtrusive. She never felt comfortable voicing her opinion or speaking up for herself in any situation. She no longer felt that way. She felt comfortable with herself and confident in her decisions. She also felt incredibly protective of Faith. She knew Buffy had no intention of hurting Faith, but she was also sure that if anyone could destroy Faith, it would be Buffy. She had to do what she could to protect them both.

She knew trying to keep them apart was pointless - they needed each other.

"Buffy?"

Buffy looked confused at the sound of her name but then hopped up from the bed. "What can I help with?"

"You can unpack that box over there. It has my books."

Tara watched her get to work, trying to figure out what to say. Tara had been monitoring the progress of the void within Faith's spirit. There had been a lot of improvement, and she hoped the progress would speed up now that Willow was no longer infested with evil. She wasn't whole yet, though. She still held on to too much fear and uncertainty.

"She's not ready for you yet." Tara finally says, wishing she had thought more about how to handle this.

"What do you mean? Not ready for me to do what?" Buffy looked wide-eyed and confused, Tara gave her a knowing smile, and Buffy blushed. She turned away but didn't comment.

"Do you know anything about her past?" Tara had tried to get Faith to talk about her family. She quickly found it to be a mistake. Faith had completely shut down, her normally light aura - darkened, and she watched in horror as the void within Faith widened. She shook the memory away, needing to focus on helping Buffy deal with what was about to happen.

"No - do you?" Buffy narrowed her eyes a little. Tara knew that Buffy was jealous of her closeness to Faith. Tara had initially thought she and Faith were meant to have a relationship, after spending a short time with the two slayers and meeting Willow, she quickly realized this wasn't the case. They had a strong connection, but it wasn't a romantic one. If she had been more certain of what this connection was, she would have tried to explain it to Buffy, but she was worried about making things worse by discussing it.

"No details, I only know that she was hurt. That it's hard for her to accept…"

"that anyone cares about her?" Buffy added sadly.

"Exactly."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

Tara frowned and looked away, "Once we do what we're about to do, it might be harder for you to be patient."

Buffy frowned, "Maybe we shouldn't do it?"

"I do think it'll be good for you both, but it's going to be hard."

"Is it going to hurt her?"

Tara wasn't sure how to answer that. There wasn't any path that wasn't going to hurt one or both of them to some extent. She didn't want to tell Buffy that it might be the only way Faith might have a chance to ever fully heal her damaged spirit, that seemed like too much pressure. "I don't think it will hurt her."

"But you're not sure?"

"It's not like there is a lot of information about this." Tara sighs, "I think you need to do it. Part of what I want to show you is how to block some of the connection."

"Block it? Why would we want to do that?"

"Faith mentioned it is sometimes distracting, like if you're on patrol and you're worried about her."  _ Faith is probably not going to be happy with me for telling her this. _

Buffy frowned, "she never said anything." She looked up at the door, "Faith is coming back." For the first time looking sad at the prospect of Faith's arrival.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I don't know what's going to happen, but you two were meant to have this connection."  _ I went about this all wrong. I don't even know if she's realized how much she cares about Faith yet. _

"Meant to?" Buffy looked confused.

"You'll see, your magic connects you."

"Because we're slayers?"

"Right." This wasn't exactly right, Tara thought it was a lot more than the slayer connection, but she didn't know for sure.

Faith had returned to the room and dropped a few bags of food on the bed. "You guys didn't make much progress." Faith commented. Buffy was still emptying the same box of books she had started on, and Tara hadn't put anything away. "Is something wrong?"

**Faith**

"No, nothing's wrong. We were just talking about what was going to happen. I'm not sure I want to do it now." Buffy frowned and finished emptying her box, reaching for another one.

_ What the hell? Why would she not want to do this now? _

"But... I want to." Faith had been looking forward to this, she knew she hadn't completely figured out how to deal with feelings, but she was ready to find out how much progress she had made. She was sure it would make Buffy happy to open the connection as well.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I want to learn more about how we can use the connection, and we can't do that if you're not connected to it too."

"You want to learn how to block it," Buffy stated quietly.

"What?"  _ Where the hell did that come from? What makes her think I'd want to block it? _

"So I'm not so distracting." Buffy pouted and returned her attention to the box of books she was emptying.

Faith groaned and rolled her eyes, giving Tara a fierce look. "No, that's not it at all. I promise."

"I'm just going to give you two a few minutes.." Tara says sheepishly and leaves the room.

_ Shit, what the hell did Tara say to her!? _

Buffy turned back around, Faith's heart was breaking to see Buffy so upset. "I don't know what she told you..."

"How distracting am I exactly?" Buffy's eyes narrowed.

"It's not that big of a deal, and after all this time, it's not that much of a distraction." Buffy glared back at Faith and put her hands on her hips. The clear sign that Buffy knew she was lying and wasn't going to let her get away with it. Faith groaned and ran her fingers through her hair. "Fine. Ok. Sometimes when you're really worried or upset, it kinda... hurts."

Buffy eyes widened, and Faith felt a pang as Buffy's sadness assaulted her. "I hurt you! Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"It hasn't happened all that much." Faith shrugged, wanting this to be over, hoping that Buffy won't ask which emotions hurt her.

"Yeah.. but..."

"Hey, it's ok. I know you never were trying to hurt me."

"Maybe we should just block it. I don't want to hurt you anymore."

Faith leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to figure out how to fix this. "If I wanted to block it... Tara offered to do that the first day she was here. I... can't even imagine not having this with you." Faith had to fight back the tears of thinking what it would be like to no longer feel Buffy the way that she does now.

"You told her about me hurting you the first day she was here?" Buffy's sadness was causing Faith's body to ache.

"It wasn't like that." Faith took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "Let her show you, and then you can decide. If you don't think it's worth the pain we might cause each other - we can block it." It took all of Faith's willpower to make this suggestion.

Buffy left the room without saying anything. Faith felt like her heart was going to explode. She was terrified that Buffy would ask her to block their connection. She wasn't even sure what that would mean for them. Would it go back to just being the slayer tingles they used to feel, or would it be nothing at all? Neither of those options sounded good to her. The door opened a few moments later, Buffy and Tara entering the room.

Tara couldn't meet Faith's eyes, the confidence that she had seen growing in Tara was missing. "I'm sorry I made this harder for you both, that wasn't what I was trying to do."

Faith wanted to ask what Tara was trying to do, but she had a good idea already that Tara was just trying to protect her.

"It's ok, let's just do this," Buffy said with very little enthusiasm.

The three sat on the floor, and Tara placed the crystal between them. "Touch the crystal."

Faith watched in complete awe. It was even more amazing than she had remembered. The bright colors of their auras danced around each other, swirling and intertwining. She winced a little as she saw how much her energy interacted with Tara's, it was no where near the connection to Buffy's, but it was not insignificant. She could only hope that Buffy wouldn't read too much into what that meant. It didn't even occur to her to wonder why she seemed so connected to Tara.

"This is incredible." Buffy's eyes were locked on Faith, and Faith could feel the happiness pouring from her. She could feel it rebounding with herself, making her sure it had been the right decision to help Buffy open the connection.

"All we did before was close our eyes and feel the energy that you can see." Faith suggested, more than a little nervous about what Buffy was about to find out.

She watched as Buffy closed her eyes. A smile was forming on her face. Buffy opened her eyes and looked at Faith. She kept eye contact for a few moments before blushing and turning back to Tara. "How can we make sure we're not hurting each other?"

"It's going to take a little time and practice." Tara shrugged. "It would be easier to block it entirely."

Faith looked to Buffy to see what she wanted to do. Buffy quickly shook her head, "No, I don't want to block it." Faith breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah... I didn't think you'd want that." She placed the crystal back in the pouch. Holding her hand over it and whispering a few words before handing it to Buffy. "The best way will be to use the crystal. Spend time together and talk about what you're feeling. The more you understand each other and your power, the more control you'll have."

Buffy was staring at the pouch in her hands, and Faith could tell she was wrestling with something. "Are you ok? Is this not what you thought it would be like?" Faith asked. She had been expecting Buffy to say something more about what was happening. The silence made her worry about what Buffy felt from Faith. She was beyond grateful that Buffy didn't want to block it, now she just had to worry about everything else.

A small smile crept across her face. "Yeah, I'm OK. It's just going to take a little time adjusting to two sets of feelings."

They spent another hour together, eating and helping Tara set up her room before heading out on patrol.

**Buffy**

_ Patient, I have to be patient.  _ Buffy had been reminding herself over and over as they wandered around the cemetery. She wasn't at all paying attention to her surroundings. All her thoughts were focused on Faith and what her emotions meant.

Buffy had only recently accepted that she cared about Faith in a more than friendly way. The past two weeks of sharing a bed had changed things for her. Even though nothing intimate had happened between them, she craved their closeness and wanted more. She became more aware of how much better she felt whenever Faith was around. Any time Faith would laugh or even smile, it would make Buffy's heart flutter. After what Tara had told her, she became even more sure of how she felt. Tara had said Faith wasn't ready yet. Meaning she would eventually be ready.

Buffy had been amazed at what she felt from Faith. She was expecting chaos, fear, and anger. There was some fear, but most of what she felt was hope and excitement.

A grunt from Faith finally got her attention. Faith was fighting with two vampires and losing ground. Buffy took a step towards the battle and then changed her mind. Instead, she sent her strength over the connection. The response was immediate, one of the vampires went flying away, and the other vanished into dust. Faith was upon the one she had sent flying in a flash, burying her stake into his chest.

"What the hell was that?" She asked as she stood up, brushing the ash from her clothes.

"Looks like maybe we can use this connection for more than just emotions." Buffy smiled and moved closer to Faith, finding it hard to resist wrapping her arms around her counterpart.

Faith was looking down at her hands and flexing them, "wicked."

Buffy held her hand out, "let's go find some more demons to kill." Faith hesitated but eventually accepted the offered hand.

The rest of patrolling had been a bust, they only encountered one newbie vampire, and he didn't last long enough for them to test out their new power.

"I guess you're glad to have your room back to yourself," Buffy commented as they approached the house.

"Yeah, you kinda hog the blankets." Faith joked back.

"I do not!"

"You do too. There's also the drooling." Faith laughed as they entered the house.

Buffy shook her head and grinned. She was disappointed that she'd have to sleep alone tonight, but she was happy that she had this connection to Faith. Now that it was summer, they'd be able to patrol together every night. They'd have plenty of time to explore their new abilities and for Buffy to keep proving to Faith how much she cared about her.

It was four weeks before she and Willow were set to start classes. She's hanging out with Willow and Tara while Faith is off training alone with Wesley. They hadn't told him anything about their connection. Only Tara and Giles knew the truth of how powerful it had become.

Suddenly she feels a pang of pain and fear. It takes her a moment to figure out what it is. "Faith." She whispers and starts to panic, looking around as if she could see where she was.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" Willow asked, alarmed.

"Something… Faith.. have to find her." Buffy grabs Tara and drags her out of the house, "take me to her!" Buffy could feel Faith's emotions and send power to her over great distances, but tracking her only worked effectively when they were close.

Tara nods and starts walking, she's quiet, but Willow is asking questions. Buffy can't hear them. She's pushing Tara, practically carrying her trying to get her to go faster. As soon as she felt the pang of fear, she began sending her strength and support over the connection, hoping that it would help Faith survive whatever was happening to her.

"Are you kidding me?!" Buffy screams as soon as she recognizes where they are. She approached the boarded-up house that was the site of her 18th birthday nightmare. Before she can reach the entrance, she's stopped by men in military clothing, telling her to stay back.

"I have to get in there! My friend is hurt!" She's screaming at them and shoving them out of her way. More men move to block her path, she growls in frustration but lets herself be held back.

"We're taking care of her, ma'am. She'll be out soon." A large man she thinks she might have seen around campus approaches her.

"What happened?" Buffy is fighting hard to keep herself under control.  _ Faith is alive, barely, but she's alive. She's going to be ok. She has to be ok. _

"She was hurt pretty badly. We're taking her to the hospital." The man replies, his voice is calm, and it is irritating Buffy.

"I need to see her." She pushes him out of the way to find Faith on a gurney being loaded into the back of an ambulance. Faith appears to be unconscious. Buffy tries forcing her way into the back of the vehicle.

"You can't ride with us. You'll have to meet us at the hospital." She's pulled away from the back of the vehicle by more men, all wearing black military uniforms. She thinks it's odd the even the EMTs were wearing these outfits.

Tara and Willow are by her side now, "Come on. We'll go to the hospital. She'll be ok." Tara was trying to be comforting. Buffy wasn't interested in being comforted. She was beyond fury, but there was nothing she could do about it.

A second ambulance pulls up, and she sees another gurney being rolled towards it. "Wesley!" Buffy screams as she sees who's laying there. The man is unconscious and covered in blood. The witches do their best to restrain her and drag her away.


	26. Chapter 26

**Faith**

_ Ugh, where am I? Hmm, it's kinda nice here. _ Faith is slowly coming to awareness, almost all of her body hurts, but somehow she also feels completely content. Something warm is pressed against her side, filling her with strength and comfort.  _ B.  _ She smiles softly and snuggles herself more into Buffy's warmth. For the moment, not caring about what it might mean or even where she is.

"Faith? Are you awake?"

"No." She whispers and focuses on Buffy, letting herself return to blissful oblivion.

When she awakes again, she can hear people talking. Buffy is no longer by her side. She's still in the room, though. Faith isn't ready yet to open her eyes or let them know that she's awake.

"How could he do this?" Buffy is furious. Anger is radiating from her with no restraint.

"He thought he had to," Giles replies with a heavy sigh.

"Is he going to live?"

"They're not sure. They have him in a medically induced coma for now." Giles sounds exhausted and just as furious as Buffy.

"He better hope he doesn't wake up!"

Faith couldn't take the emotional pain she was feeling along with the physical pain. "B?" She called out softly and reached out for Buffy.

"I'm here. Rest. I'm right here." Buffy held her hand and stood by the side of the bed.

"Closer." She wasn't even sure she said it out loud, but in an instant, Buffy had climbed back into bed with her. Faith nestled into her warmth once again and drifted back off to sleep.

When she woke up the third time, Buffy was wrapped around her. Their legs entwined and Buffy's fingers laced with her's, resting on her stomach. She slowly opened her eyes and became aware that Joyce was in the room, smiling down at her. She instantly began to panic.

"Relax, don't wake her up yet. She hasn't slept much since you were hurt." Joyce whispered, placing a comforting hand on Faith's shoulder.

Faith blinked a few times and tried to calm herself. It was easy to follow the thread of Buffy's energy and return to the contentment she felt earlier.

"I'm so glad you found your way into our lives, Faith. I hope you know that."

Faith didn't know how to respond, she only offered a soft smile and nodded. It had taken her a while to get close to Joyce for all kinds of reasons, but in the past few weeks, she had begun to accept that the woman genuinely did care for her. She knew at least part of it was because Faith took care of the slaying so Buffy could focus on being normal. She knew it was more than though, Joyce would talk to her like she was a person, showing genuine interest in what Faith had to say.

"Now that you're awake, maybe you'll be able to leave today. I brought you some clothes." She places a pile of neatly folded clothes at the foot of the bed. "they won't tell us much about your condition since none of us are legally your family. Wesley was apparently your emergency contact, and he isn't awake yet."

Faith scowled,  _ Wesley! He did this to me!  _ Some of her memory was starting to return.

"I can't believe he did this to you. If he ever does wake up, I may kill him before anyone else gets a chance to." It made Faith smile to see Joyce being so protective of her. Joyce glanced up at the clock, "your friends will be here in about an hour. I'll leave you to your rest."

Faith nodded and watched as Joyce left. She looked around the room as best she could without disturbing Buffy. She noted flowers and cards wishing her to get well soon. Seeing them there filled her with something she couldn't describe. She'd never imagined having people who cared about her this much. She was almost certain if this had happened before her second chance, there would be no visiting of any kind to her in a hospital - except maybe to finish the job.

Nothing on her body particular hurt anymore. She carefully took stock of all her parts. She couldn't move much, but she could feel bandages pulling at her skin and hair. There seemed to be one covering the right side of her head and another wrapped around her ribs. There may have also been another on her right thigh.

Faith closed her eyes and focused on Buffy, feeling amazingly warm and comfortable in this position. For the first time in her life, she felt perfectly content, happy even. She had people in her life who cared about her, who loved her. Even the betrayal by Wesley wasn't enough to undo all the progress she had made. She couldn't remember all of what had happened. She remembered fighting some demons and receiving a burst of strength from Buffy, everything after that was fuzzy and faded.

After twenty minutes of failing to recover any new memories, she decided she had to wake Buffy up. She nudged her slightly, "B, time to wake up."

Buffy groaned and buried her face deeper into Faith's neck. Squirming her legs and body even closer. "C'mon, our friends will be here soon." She smiled, realizing she really did think of them as her friends too.

"Don't care. Too sleepy to move." Buffy burrowed in closer, nestling her face into Faith's neck.

"You gotta, how else am I ever going to get out of here?" Faith nudged her again, not very forcefully. She didn't really want Buffy to move, even though she needed her to.

"Fine," Buffy grumbled and rolled away. Faith immediately wished she hadn't, she let out a small whimper. "Are you OK? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Faith chuckled, "no, you didn't hurt me." She rolled onto her side so that they were facing each other. They stared at each other for several minutes in silence and then before Faith knew what was happening - they were kissing. The kiss was brief, and Faith couldn't even say for sure who had initiated it.

"Oh, god! I'm so sorry!" Buffy quickly jumped out of bed and moved into the chair. She rubbed her face, trying to wake herself up and possibly find a way to rewind the last minute.

Faith's lips were still tingling from the contact, and she knew that Buffy hadn't noticed that Faith responded positively to the kiss. She wanted to tell Buffy that she wasn't upset, that she wanted more. She was still a little too terrified that she wouldn't be able to handle a relationship with Buffy.

Buffy frowned, "do you remember what happened?" Faith was relieved by being allowed to completely ignore what just happened.

Faith growled at the memory. "Wesley. He told me there was some house that needed to be cleared of a minor demon. He said you were waiting for me. I knew he was lying since I couldn't feel you anywhere near me, but I felt kinda weird and wasn't sure what was going on."

Buffy broke the arm of the chair she was sitting in, her grip was so tight. "I should have known what he was up to!"

"Nah, don't think like that. He had been training me solo for weeks, buttering me up. I knew he was a council lackey. I should have known better than to trust him." Faith smiled as a thought occurred to her.

"Why are you smiling?"

"This might be hard to explain... but I've always had trouble trusting people, letting anyone in."

"No kidding." Buffy rolled her eyes.

Faith gave her a light smack on the leg, "Hey! I'm growing here, don't make fun of me!"

"But it's so much fun to make fun of you." Buffy grinned and playfully smacked her back.

This time Faith rolled her eyes, "anyway. So I just got burned by him, but it's not freaking me out. I mean... I'll probably rip his arms off if I see him again. But it doesn't change the trust I have for everyone else."

"Look at you being all introspective."

"Plus, now we know when my birthday is! Where are all my presents?" Faith was practically bouncing with excitement at the prospect. She had never celebrated her birthday before. She didn't even know how old she was until now. She had guessed she was about 15 when she was called as a slayer but never knew for sure. They had asked Wesley if he knew, he must have found out and decided to keep the information to himself.

Buffy started laughing. "Once we get you out of here, we'll work on your presents."

Faith grinned and moved to lay on her back. She started itching at the bandage on her head and decided it was time to pull it off.

"Faith! What are you doing?" Buffy cried out in alarm, but the bandage was already off. "Your wound..."

"What? Am I hideous now? Please don't tell me I'm deformed or anything?"

Buffy smiled down at her. She had moved back into the bed, crouching beside Faith and examining her head. "No, you are far from deformed." She was running her hand through Faith's hair, and Faith was attempting to repress how good it felt. "Your wound is completely gone."

Without another comment, Buffy pulled the blanket off of Faith and started lifting up her hospital gown. She carefully peeled the bandage away from Faith's thigh and gasped. She ran her fingers gently along it, again making Faith have to struggle with the sensations.

"B? what are you doing?"

Buffy didn't reply, she lifted the gown up further, not seeming to notice how much of Faith she was exposing. Faith finally got enough control of herself to stop Buffy's examinations. Holding her hands tightly and waiting for Buffy to realize what she was doing. Much to Faith's relief, the slayers seemed to have a silent understanding of how far to push their flirting or any indications of how they felt about each other. Buffy's examination of Faith was starting to get a little more personal than she was comfortable with.

Buffy finally looked down to see all of Faith that she had revealed, blushing and looking away. She slowly pulled her hands out of Faith's grip and returned to the chair. She lifted her own shirt to look at her ribs. "I had a huge bruise here just last night." There was no sign of a bruise visible at all.

"What happened?" Faith readjusted her gown, pulling off the bandage around her ribs which didn't hurt at all anymore.

"They wouldn't let me stay with you. I found some demons to let my frustrations out on. They got a few good hits in." Buffy shrugged like it was no big deal. Faith frowned and looked away.  _ If I hadn't listened to stupid Wesley, she never would have gotten herself hurt.  _ Her inner dialogue was disrupted by Buffy holding her hand. "It's not your fault. I'm a slayer too, remember? You don't have to protect me."

Faith ignored the comment, she felt like her whole purpose was to keep Buffy safe and happy, but she knew Buffy would never understand that and didn't want to fight about it.

"How long have I been in here?"

"Three days, you've been asleep for almost all that time. I saw them change the dressing on your head last night. It was... not good." Buffy ran her hands through Faith's hair again. "There's not even a sign of it. You had a huge gash on your thigh and two broken ribs."

Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara appeared in the room just then. Xander is holding a huge bear with balloons attached. Faith looked up at them and grinned.

"Faith! You're awake!" Tara ran to her and hugged her. "Where are your bandages?" She gasped when she pulled away.

"Don't need them anymore." Faith slid off the bed and picked up the pile of clothes Joyce had left for her. "Seems like it's time to get the hell out of here." She quickly pulled the clothes on under her gown. "You guys have a party to plan!"

**Buffy**

It's a week before classes start, Faith had just helped Willow, and Buffy get settled into their dorm room. Now they were all at the bookstore getting materials for class. Buffy is attempting to reach for a book on a high shelf. She can hear Faith chuckling at her. "Do you want to help me or just make fun of me?"

"Hmm... I'll think about that."

"Faith!"

"Ok, yeah. I'm helping." She moves forward and reaches for the book.

Buffy notices a large man approaching and feels a ripple of jealousy from Faith, and she swears that Faith just growled. The man doesn't seem to notice either slayer and passes by them without even a glance.

"What was that? Did you just growl at that guy?"

"What... no, I didn't."

Tara had told her to wait for Faith to show some sign that she was ready to admit her feelings. Buffy was running out of patience and decided that growling was the sign she was waiting for. Ever since Faith's Cruciamentum, the slayers had become inseparable. They had realized that their closeness is what healed Faith. They each continued to fake injuries in order to have more cuddling sessions without it having any deeper meaning. They both knew that's what they were doing, but Buffy was too afraid to comment on it, believing that it would scare Faith away. She had been very careful to shield her feelings from Faith. She had felt ripples of desire from Faith, but it was always accompanied by fear. Buffy didn't exactly know what Faith was afraid of, but she took this to mean Faith wasn't quite ready to admit that there was something deeper between them.

"Faith? Can we talk?"

"About what?" Faith hasn't relaxed her posture or taken her eyes off of the man.

Buffy shakes her head, grinning slightly at the absurdity of it all. "Come on. It's time you talk to me."

Buffy doesn't wait for a response, she only leads Faith to her dorm room, holding her hand and practically dragging her into the room. Buffy puts her school supplies away and sits down on the bed. Watching Faith standing in the middle of the room, Buffy can feel muted and conflicted emotions from Faith. She'd learned that this meant Faith was confused or upset and trying to hide it from Buffy.

"I know you don't want to tell me anything that happened before, or after, whenever," She waves her hand and shakes her head at how confusing it all is. "But can you tell me if we were…" She pauses, afraid now to find out the answer.

"If we were what?" Faith's voice is soft, and she can't meet Buffy's eyes.

"Together?" Buffy finally spits it out.

"Together, how?"

"Come on! Like dating." Buffy is starting to get a little exasperated at how little Faith likes to reveal about her time travel and how unwilling she is to admit that they both want more from this relationship.

Faith smiles a little, "no. we were never dating." But she says it like there's something to it. Something she's not saying.

"Was that guy we just saw there?"

Faith tenses a little, but nods.

"Were he and I dating?"

Faith scoffs a little and shakes her head.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"That's not the way this works. I'll only answer yes/no questions, and you know it."

Buffy moves to stand in front of Faith, "OK, did you and I ever kiss?"

Faith nods and Buffy moves even closer.

"Did we ever do more than kiss?"

Faith nods again.

"Was this before or after?"

"After."

"I wish you would tell me what happened."

Faith only shakes her head. "None what happened matters anymore. We're already past all the mistakes we made."

"We?" Faith frowns, and Buffy knows caught Faith revealing something. She only ever said that she made a lot of mistakes which led to her and Buffy being sent into the future. Never before did she indicate some of it could have been someone else's fault too.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Right…" Buffy turns away, trying to control herself. Buffy wants Faith. She wants her in so many ways, and it's starting to drive her a lot crazy. They had grown incredibly close, learning how their slayer connection worked and how to use it to their advantage. Their almost constant physical contact was not at all one-sided, Buffy knew that Faith had at least some level of physical attraction to her. Not knowing everything that happened is making it impossible for either of them to give in to what they both wanted. She has a feeling she was responsible for something very significant, and Faith is hiding it from her.

"Look, I mean it. Whatever you might have done, you would never do that again. You can't blame yourself for what you didn't even do." Buffy knows that Faith is sincere, but it doesn't matter, she needs to know.

Buffy whips back around, "but you remember me doing whatever this thing is."

"It didn't even happen to this you. It happened to some other version of you. It doesn't matter." Buffy knew Faith wasn't lying, she just didn't think Faith was right.

"I wish I could believe you."

Faith sighs, "I wish you could too."

"Did I hurt someone?"

"Don't ask me about this, please."

"So, that's a yes, then." She pauses, "did I hurt you?" The pain evident in Faith's eyes reveals the answer.

Faith backs away, Buffy sees Faith's hand cover her stomach, and she realizes exactly what she must have done.

"I'm the one who stabbed you?" The words are barely audible, and she feels like the world is collapsing in around her.  _ How could I possibly have stabbed her? She's everything to me! There has to be a reason for this. I can't even imagine hurting her! _

"You had to. It wasn't your fault."

"I don't understand, you have to tell me what happened, I need to know." Faith doesn't turn around, and Buffy moves closer. "I think I could love you. I want to love you." Buffy whispers, her heart is racing. She hadn't intended to say that, but she was afraid if she didn't that Faith would disappear and they'd both lose their best chance at happiness.

Faith is frozen with her hand on the doorknob.

"Not knowing is making it impossible. Please, I need to know what happened." Buffy is shaking now, unable to control the fear and confusion she knows is being sent to Faith over their link. "I know you think you're protecting me, but it's not working. I need to know."

**Faith**

Faith turns back around and slides to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them.  _ She loved me when all these things happened for real. She says she loves me now, maybe she still will after I tell her.  _ Truthfully, she needed Buffy to know, she felt like everything that happened was part of her, and by keeping it from Buffy, she felt dirty. She sighs and covers her hands with her face. "When do you think Red will be back?"

"I'm pretty sure she's off with Tara, I don't expect her back here at all today." Faith frowns again.  _ I completely failed on that promise, at least I can keep an eye on them, try to make sure Willow doesn't go off the deep end.  _ She knew how Tara had died, but that wasn't really the thing she was trying to save her from. Keeping her from getting shot would be easy, saving her from whatever awful things Willow might do to her was significantly harder.

Tara had been very respectful of Willow and Oz's relationship, she never made any indication or showed any sign of interest in Willow romantically while they were dating. It didn't matter though, the attraction between the two witches was undeniable, no matter what Faith tried to do to keep them apart.

It didn't take very long before Oz figured out he didn't belong in Sunnydale anymore. After he left, it only took a month of them spending time together before they began dating. Faith could rarely get any time alone with Tara to warn her about Willow. And even when she did, Tara would only say that she understood what Faith was telling her, but that she wanted to be with Willow anyway.

"Why don't you like them being together?"

"I don't have any problem with them being together." Even though she intends to tell Buffy what happened, she is not going to explain what happened with Willow and Tara. If things go as badly as she thinks they might, she can't risk Buffy thinking anything bad about Willow.

"Is it because you like Tara?"

"You can't be serious." She had known Buffy was jealous of Tara, she just never had a way to convince her there was nothing to worry about without acknowledging that Buffy was jealous.

"I would understand if you did, I know you two have some kind of connection."

Faith frowned, what she was planning to do was hard enough, she didn't need this nonsense about Tara making it even harder. "I have absolutely no romantic interest in Tara. I'm just still a little upset with Willow I guess. She and I never really got along before, and she said some things to me that are hard to let go of." This was all true enough that Buffy seemed to relax. This would be a good time to tell Buffy how she felt about her, but she couldn't do that before she told her everything.

Buffy seemed to relax, and Faith sighed. She began pacing around the room, trying to get the story straight in her head. Faith had initially been furious when she found out that she'd have to remember, but then she realized she could handle remembering, as long as Buffy didn't. Once she told her story, this Buffy would know the truth. The friendship that they had now would likely be destroyed, along with any chance of any other kind of relationship. As terrified as she was, she knew she had to do it.

"Just try not to hate me after I tell you." It was barely a whisper. If it were anyone other than Buffy, they wouldn't have heard it. But Buffy did.

"Hate you? I could never hate you!"

"You did."  _ You will.  _ She took a deep breath and slid back down to the floor, leaning against the door.

Faith begins talking. She explains everything that happened after the accident with Finch. Everything, as she remembered it at least. She had almost convinced herself that it wasn't her that did all those terrible things, but finally letting it out is making it hard for her to hold on to that fantasy. It doesn't take as long as she had expected. Buffy stayed silent the whole time. A few gasps are let out at key moments, so she knew Buffy was following along and understood everything she was telling her.

There are plenty of details she left out, including Buffy's mother's death. She didn't hide any of the awful things she had done, even things that she had never told Buffy before.

Her perspective on most of what happened was skewed, taking more blame for mistakes than she should have. Coloring events to make herself come across even worse. She didn't realize she was doing this, her self-loathing had reworked events, making her believe they happened a certain way. She almost entirely avoided mentioning anything about Willow or Tara. She only indicated that they were there, but she concealed everything about how evil had overtaken Willow.

She doesn't look at Buffy once while she explains, her eyes firmly fixed on the ground between her feet. When she finishes talking, she sighs deeply and waits five minutes for Buffy to say something before she stands up to leave, glancing at Buffy before she exits. Buffy is sitting with her hands clenched in her lap, an unreadable expression on her face. A million conflicting emotions rolling off of her and assaulting Faith. Usually, they were able to hide all but the most extreme emotions from each other. Now it seemed like Buffy wasn't shielding anything. None of the emotions Faith could feel were good.

Faith walked slowly away from the dorms, wishing she'd feel the sensations letting her know Buffy wasn't going to let her go, but she never did.

She had nowhere to go really. She didn't want to go back to Buffy's house. Going to Buffy's house, torturing herself with what she knew she could never have, didn't seem like something she could handle.

Even though it's early, she's tired. She's tried so hard to get past what happened. She had convinced herself that she was this new person. A person who would never have done those things. Retelling it made it all fresh, reminding her that wouldn't ever be able to do anything right. She found herself back at the seedy motel that her life in Sunnydale started in. She planned to go back to Buffy's tomorrow and do whatever Buffy told her to do. She just needed this day to herself, this day to grieve before she went back.

She manages to get the same room she had before. It wasn't on purpose. It just figured.  _ This is probably where I belong anyway. It was a nice fantasy that I could have friends and be part of something. I'll be lucky if she even wants me to stay in town. _

Crawling into the bed and pulling the sheets over her head, she doesn't cry. She just does her best to empty her mind and beg for sleep to take her. It finally does.

  
  



	27. Chapter 27

**Buffy**

Buffy stayed sitting on her bed for over an hour somewhat comatose, trying to make sense of everything Faith had told her. She recounted all of Faith's words. Matching up what she was saying with her energy, understanding that things maybe didn't happen quite the way Faith had said.

She couldn't piece together why Faith would try to paint herself as evil, the woman she had gotten to know was so far from evil that there was no way Buffy could believe it was true. She believed the facts of what Faith told her, joining forces with the mayor, the betrayal with Angel, the murder of the professor, kidnapping Willow and of course the brutal fight between the two slayers. Buffy couldn't even imagine how she had let herself get to the point where she'd be willing to kill Faith. But she knew it happened. Faith still had the evidence on her body.

A searing pain hit her, she gasped and dropped to the floor. Memories of what actually happened flooding into her. She laid on the floor in complete confusion.  _ Why would Faith try to make herself out to have been to blame for everything? And she didn't even mention what happened with Willow or Tara. _

A knock at the door startles her out of her stupor. She opens it without even being aware that she moved.

"Buffy? Are you ok?"

"No, not really." She chokes the words out.

"You need to find her. Here, this will help." Tara hands her the crystal they had been using to train with their auras. Buffy accepts it, still not aware of what's happening. "I think you'll be able to get through to her, but if you can't, call me, and I'll try to help."

Buffy looks down at the crystal in confusion. All her memories were crashing together, the only things she knew for sure is that she didn't want Faith to be hurting, and she definitely didn't want Faith to leave.

"Find me after - go!"

Buffy runs passed her. Digging into the pouch and touching the crystal. Watching the bright colors of her aura directing her where she needed to go. She ran as fast as she could, the entire time sending Faith all the comforting emotions that she could, and trying to contain her despair at not feeling any response.

She slowly pushed the motel door open, a little worried about what she was going to find. She looked at the humped form under the blanket. Could see it's slight movements indicated that Faith was curled up and sleeping heavily. She moved to the bed and slowly peeled the blanket and sheet back. "Faith?"

Faith eyes slowly opened, and once she seemed to realize who was in her room, she quickly moved to sit against the headboard. Putting as much space between her and Buffy as she could. Buffy shifted closer and reached out her hand to place it gently on Faith's cheek. "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You're not the one who screwed everything up, again." Faith frowned and pulled away, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You didn't screw anything up."

"How can you say that? I was supposed to be strong enough to save you from having to know. It was just supposed to be me that had to deal with knowing."

"You've carried the burden long enough it was time to share it. You weren't the only one who made mistakes. I needed to know what I had done."

Faith only shakes her head, closing her eyes.

"I'm so sorry I pushed you. I shouldn't have done that. I just wanted…" Buffy groans at herself for being so aggressive towards Faith yet again. "I get it now, and I'm sorry. Just please don't disappear on me. I need you in my life."

"You don't want me to leave?" Faith looked up, her eyes wide and full of hope.

"No, I never want you to leave. I promise." She smiled, and Faith began to relax slightly. "Why did you tell me what happened the way you did?"

"What do you mean? I just told you what happened."

"I think somebody didn't like that you were trying to take the blame for everything. They gave me my actual memories."

Faith shrieked and backed away, "No! You weren't supposed to remember."

"It's ok. Everything is ok." Buffy opens herself up to Faith, pours all her support and love into their connection.

"No, stop! Why are you doing this?" Faith almost falls off the bed, trying to get away. Buffy reaches for her and prevents her from hurting herself.

"I need you to know how much I care about you. That you are worth caring about."

Faith doesn't comment, only shakes her head and keeps her eyes on the floor.

"Faith? Please come back to me. You didn't mess anything up."

"This is stupid." Faith twists herself out of Buffy's grip and stands up, backing up against the wall.

"I agree completely," Buffy grinned and stood to face her.

"Then why are you doing this?"

"You are the one who's being stupid." Faith's eyes are tightly closed, and she's beginning to tremble. "Having you in my life has been beyond amazing. You've done everything you can to keep me safe and happy. I can never repay you for the time you've given me with my mother. I always wondered why you were so insistent that we spend time together. Now I understand."

Faith still doesn't respond, so Buffy presses, "When you came back, you could have done anything. You could have gone to the mayor. You could have used how you knew I felt against me. You could have just run away from everything and never looked back. But you didn't, you stayed. You could have crippled Willow. All the times she said terrible things to you, you could have ruined her. But you kept it all to yourself. And even now, you were trying to protect me from ever knowing what she did. You helped us all be better, all while not being able to see that you were better too. You deserve to be happy. You can't keep punishing yourself for mistakes that you didn't even make."

**Faith**

She wanted to argue that she did make those mistakes, just because she was given a second chance it didn't change what she had done. She had hurt and even killed people. She didn't deserve Buffy in her life. She didn't deserve anything good.

She could feel the power of Buffy's emotions pushing into her, forcing their way past the voices and the sense of worthlessness. Faith closed her eyes and let Buffy's words roll through her. She made herself hear them. Between the words and the emotions she felt pouring from Buffy, she had no choice but to accept them.

"I will never hurt you, or take anything from you. I will never use you or treat you like anything other than the amazing person you are. Please come back to me." Buffy's words were soft and filled with emotion.

Those were big promises, and Faith didn't think anyone could keep them, but she understood. She knew what Buffy was trying to tell her. Faith was still afraid to accept that someone cared about her. A tiny voice in her head trying to her that she wasn't worth caring about. Her complete trust in Buffy forced that voice to be quiet. The love she felt from Buffy was powerful enough to override the years of being told in so many ways that she was worthless. If the chosen one could feel this way about her, then there was no way that was true.

"Ok." As she said it she felt released from all the fear she'd been holding on to. All the doubt and self-loathing she had been clinging to since she could remember were almost entirely gone.

"Do you want to get out of here then?" Buffy smiled and offered Faith her hand.

"I really do."

"Tara wants to talk to us," Buffy says as they exit the motel room.

The slayers were walking in silence back to campus to meet with Tara. Faith suddenly stops walking, everything Buffy had been saying rolling around in her head. "Wait."

"What?" Buffy stops to look at Faith.

"What do you mean you get it? What do you think you get?"

Buffy frowned and dropped her shoulders. "Just that I didn't mean to push you into something you didn't want. I threw myself like a crazy person at you before and then I did it again this time. All the times I must have hurt you with my jealousy, and I've probably been driving you crazy with my desire. I don't know what's wrong with me. I should have known. You kept trying to get me to stay with Angel. You could have just told me." Buffy frowns and starts to walk away from Faith.

"Now who's being stupid?" Faith stood with her hands on her hips.

"What? I said I was sorry, and in my defense, there have been a lot of mixed signals."

Faith grinned and shook her head, approaching Buffy who was still babbling about how sorry she was and berating herself for being so aggressive. "B. Stop."

But Buffy wouldn't stop, "God, I'm doing it again. I just can't seem to…" and then she started to cry.

They had almost reached Tara's dorm, but Faith directed Buffy to her own building and led her to her room. "I'm so sorry I keep doing this to you, I didn't mean to. I don't know why.."

"Buffy!"

"I always have to push, I'm..."

"Please, stop." Faith pressed her hand to Buffy's mouth, who had her eyes clamped shut and continued to try to talk, her words muffled by Faith's hand. "Please, just stop talking." Faith wanted to laugh had how ridiculous Buffy was being, but could feel how upset Buffy was.

Buffy hadn't opened her eyes, but she finally stopped trying to talk. Faith guided her to sit on the bed.

"Open your eyes, please?" Buffy slowly did, and Faith wiped away her tears. "I get that you must be freaking out right now, I can't imagine how it feels to suddenly get all those memories."

"I'm sorry it took me so long to find you, I was trying to piece together what you were telling me, it just didn't make any sense. Then when the real memories came… I was so sure I'd never see you again." Buffy started to cry again, covering her hands with her face. Faith gently pulled them away and again wiped Buffy's tears.

"It's ok. It's totally ok. I would never have just left. I just needed some time to deal with thinking I'd lost you."

"So we're both stupid?" Buffy smiled a little.

"Apparently." Faith grinned and was relieved that Buffy finally seemed to be relaxing. There was still an undercurrent of hurt, that Faith needed to get rid of. If she could be brave enough to fully admit her feelings, there would be no reason for Buffy to be hurting.

Buffy smiled again and began to compose herself, "we should go talk to Tara." She tried to stand up, but Faith pushed her back down.

"Not yet, I need to explain some things first." Faith backed away and started pacing, trying to figure out what to say. Faith was still reeling from all that had happened. The extreme conflict in her emotional state, making it hard for her to concentrate on now.

"Do we have to talk about before?" Buffy asks quietly.

"I really don't want to." Faith sighed and stopped her pacing.

"Me neither. The memories of that time are almost faded, I still remember what happened, but it's more like a dream."

Faith pushed out a breath, "that's how it is for me too."

"Good. I just wish..." Buffy frowned, "Can I see?"

"I thought you didn't want to talk about it?"

"I don't. I just want to see."

Faith moved closer to Buffy and slowly lifted her shirt. She watched Buffy's eyes as she reached up and traced her fingers over Faith's scar. She smiled sadly and folded her hands back in her lap.

"B…"

"No, don't say anything. It's ok. I just wanted to see. It didn't happen, and I know nothing will ever bring either of us to that place again." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You wanted to tell me something?" Buffy looked up at Faith hopefully.

Faith knelt down in front of Buffy, holding her hands. Faith knew that Buffy didn't understand before or now how hard feelings were for her. It wasn't Buffy's fault. It was an impossible thing for Faith to explain, not without actually telling her about her life before Sunnydale. She never wanted to think about that time, and she definitely didn't want to have to remember it enough to explain it to someone else. "Do you remember after our sparring session and your cold shower, I tried to explain to you how hard feelings were for me?" Buffy nodded, "and then the night before I was sent back, I was trying to comfort you?" Buffy nodded again, "What did that feel like?"

Buffy frowned a little, "It was confusing. I could tell what you were trying to do, but I couldn't understand the feelings you were sending me."

Faith nodded, expecting this response. "It's good that you pushed me, I needed you to know. I felt like I was tricking you this whole time. Like I was hiding part of myself from you. I wish you didn't have to know about Willow though. I hope you can see her for who she is now and not who she could have been."

"You see the irony of that right?" Buffy smirked, and Faith shook her head in response.

"No irony, I hope you can do the same with me. It took me a while to figure everything out this second time. But everything I've been doing is so I could be the person you seemed to think that I was before. A person worthy of your love." Faith opened herself up to Buffy, sending all of her feelings for the blonde slayer over their connection and hoping that this time they make sense.

Buffy's eyes glazed over, and it looked like she was going to faint. Faith stopped what she was doing and moved to hold her. "You OK?"

Buffy didn't respond, but she did shift her position and wrapped her arms around Faith.

"You helped me figure out how to let people care about me. I never had that before. Now I have people in my life that I trust. I know they might hurt me, and I might hurt them, but it won't be on purpose, and everything will be OK. I learned all of that from you."

The slayers continued to hold each other and sit in silence. Faith was pretty sure that Buffy still didn't understand that Faith had just confessed that she loved her. She was nervous to say it outright, a bit of doubt needling at her that this wasn't going to work. She decided it was time to try, she trusted Buffy completely and knew that neither of them would do anything to hurt the other intentionally.

Buffy pulled herself away, clasping her hands in her lap. "I'm still sorry I put you through this, I wouldn't have even said anything if you hadn't growled at Riley. Why did you? I don't remember him doing anything to either of us."

Faith smirked a little and looked away. "I overheard you talking to Willow about him."

"Oh my god. When I said he was kinda cute?" Buffy laughed. "I only said that because it seemed like she was offering to give me one of the soldiers." Buffy shuddered at the memory of it. "I figured if I was able to get close to him, I might be able to find out more about what was going on. You can't possibly think I wanted him."

"Hey! I don't think you should pick on me for being jealous for no reason. Pretty sure you've got me beat there."

"Yeah… sorry about that." Buffy frowned and turned away. "Hey, wait… you were jealous of him? Why.. if you don't…"

"Are you finally starting to put all this together? I thought I was the slow one." Faith gently grabbed Buffy's chin and turned it. She closed the distance between them, kissing her lightly.

"You kissed me," Buffy says in complete shock, holding her fingers to her lips.

"You don't seem too sure. I better do it again." Faith leaned in, and this time, the kiss was not light. Her words didn't seem to be getting through to Buffy. It was time to try something more direct.

As Buffy seemed to finally realize what was going on and participate in the kiss, the intense energy between them began to amplify. Faith had enjoyed the intimate moments they had shared in the Initiative, but this was nothing like that. She was pretty sure nothing should feel this good, all she could think about was what would happen once their clothes were off.

"Holy shit," Buffy whispered when they finally pulled apart. They were sitting close, foreheads pressed together as they tried to regain their composure. "That was… I don't even know what that was."

"Pretty sure I wouldn't have bothered to go back in time if it was like that before." Faith grinned.

"Amazing kisses are more important than preventing an apocalypse?" Buffy feigned outrage at the idea.

"I'm not sure amazing covers it.. but hell yeah. Don't try to pretend like you would have let me go back either."

"You might be right about that." Buffy leaned in and captured Faith's lips once again. Pushing Faith further onto the bed and moving to lay on top of her. They were so focused on each other that they didn't hear the door open.

"Um, Guys?"

The sound of Willow's voice tore the slayers out of their fantasies, both of them remembering when Willow pulled them out of their prison dimension and saying the same exact thing.

"Willow, hey." Buffy stands but can't make eye contact.

"It's ok, B. Try not to remember." Faith whispers to her while Willow gives them a weird look.

"I hope you don't think I'm freaked out by this." Willow offers, having no way to know why Buffy might be acting strangely.

Buffy shook her head but didn't respond.

"Well, sorry to interrupt, but Tara wanted to see you both. I was just going to get ready for bed." Willow shakes her head, clearly a little confused. She grabbed her bag of toiletries and headed back out into the hallway.

"Are you going to be ok?"

"I think so, just a little shocking." Buffy frowned and buried her face in Faith's shoulder. "Let's get out of here before she comes back though." Faith nodded her agreement, and they headed towards Tara's building. "How the hell did you deal with this? I keep seeing her with black eyes, tossing me around with her magic."

"Just try to remember that she was better after Tara kicked the first out of her. She helped us, and she hasn't done anything remotely bad to you since."

"She was so awful to you."

"Yeah…"

"What?"

"Guess there's no point in hiding it now. Do you remember how she starting being nicer to me a little after Tara got here?" Buffy nodded, narrowing her eyes, "so apparently the First had some kind of hold of her, and that's why she was always so mean to me. Tara found a way to get rid of it."

"How could you not tell me that?"

"She was only mean to me, and I knew I could handle it. I swear if she ever did anything to you, I would have done something. I never wanted you to think anything bad about her, she's your best friend, and I couldn't let that get taken away."

Buffy leaned into Faith, wrapping her arms around her waist tightly. "I can't believe everything you've done for me. I don't deserve you." Buffy backed away and put her hand on Faith's stomach. "I tried to kill you. How could you possibly forgive me, nevermind want to be with me?"

Faith pulled Buffy's hand away and held it in both of hers. "There's nothing to forgive. You had to do what you did. I needed to be stopped. The thing I had become, it wasn't what I was meant to be."

"But.."

"No. No more guilt, not for either of us."

The Keepers

"I told you!" The burgundy keeper bounced around the room, grinning and taunting her counterpart.

"Yes, yes. You're very smart. Now settle down!"

"I will not, what we've been waiting millenniums for is almost here!"

"I've been waiting that long. You've barely been here at all!"

"I have your memories, so it feels just as long. Can't you just be happy? It's not wrong to be happy!"

The keeper clad in the blue cloak couldn't help but chuckle at the display. The pure glee coming from her sister keeper was contagious. They hadn't reached their end goal, but the path was clear.

"Ok, be happy. They'll be here soon though. You cannot behave this way when they arrive."

Tara

Faith, Buffy, and Tara are in Tara's dorm room. The slayers wait patiently while Tara sets a few items on the floor in front of them. Tara can barely wipe the smile off her face as she watches the energy dance around the slayers. She's never seen anything quite like it, now that they were in harmony she wasn't able to not see or feel their energy. It was a beacon of hope and light for all who were tuned in to such things.

Faith had tried countless times to warn Tara away from Willow. She wouldn't say what would go wrong if they were together, only that it would lead to pain and death. Tara believed the warnings, but once she met Willow, she had no choice. Now she would finally explain to Faith why.

She placed the recharged crystal in front of them and motioned for them to touch it. "Holy shit." Faith gasped as she sees their auras.

"Seriously, what happened?" Buffy's voice was full of awe. They had been practicing for months with the crystal, but Tara knew what they saw now was beyond anything they had seen before. She was pleased to see the void within Faith was stitched tightly closed. She could still see what equated to scar tissue in Faith's essence. There was damage that could never fully be repaired, but as long as the void was closed, it wouldn't be able to hurt Faith.

Tara smiled. "We're going to have to work together to do something about that, or I may go blind whenever I'm near you guys."

"You can't shut it off?"

"Not anymore. It will be ok. It doesn't quite look the same for me."

"So what does this mean exactly?" Faith asked, looking slightly nervous.

"I've been researching auras a lot since you rescued me. Trying to understand more of what I saw with you both." Faith frowned at being reminded of the day they brought Tara back to Sunnydale. "Faith, whether you believe it or not, you did rescue me. I know you didn't want me to be with Willow, but there was no choice. Just like you two are connected, so are we. I know there may be pain and even death in my future, but I had to be with her. "

Faith scowls, "is this some kind of soulmate nonsense?"

Tara laughs at Faith's brashness, "It's not exactly nonsense, and for you two, it's a little more complicated than that."

Tara pauses and furrows her brow.  _ Willow is coming.  _ Something was different. She could feel Willow from much further away than usual. She could even see her. It finally dawned on her that all four of them must be connected in some way. It also occurred to her that everything she thought about what was happening might be totally wrong.


	28. Chapter 28

**Buffy**

"Tara? What's wrong?"

Tara doesn't respond. Her head is cocked oddly as she seems to be following the movement of something with her eyes. Buffy reaches for the crystal, hoping to see whatever it is that has mesmerized the witch. During all of their training with the crystal, Buffy had always done her best to ignore the energy she saw between Tara and Faith. Now that she had her memories, and she knew how Faith felt about her, she finally had the confidence to let herself look. She was surprised to see that the energy was different now, it was stronger and not only that, she was connected to Tara as well.

"B? What do you think is happening?"

"Maybe that's Willow?" Buffy nodded towards the energy she saw getting closer, but then she noticed a steady stream of energy from all four of them heading in the opposite direction. "But there's something else. Something further away, that's not moving."

A few moments later, the Willow essence is at the door and knocking. Buffy hops up to let her in.

Willow looks confused and disoriented, "Sorry, I don't know why I came back here... Something was telling me to. I tried to resist, but I just couldn't anymore." She rubs her head and finally notices Tara seems to be in a trance. "What happened to her?"

"Tara was showing us some stuff with our auras, and then she kinda started staring off into space." Faith offers with a shrug.

"Tara? Are you ok?" Willow moves to Tara's side.

"What? Yeah. I'm ok, that was weird." Tara smiles and leans into Willow.

"You don't seem OK."

"No, I'm ok, just…" She cast her eyes to Faith. "How exactly did you get sent back in time?"

"I was brought to this place, there were these women there, and they offered me a second chance." Faith shrugged, hoping they wouldn't ask for any more details.

"Do you remember where it was?"

"No, I think it was somewhere near here, but I don't know exactly." Faith looked to Buffy, who shook her head. She had tried to remember where they had gone, but she hadn't paid enough attention at the time. Only Willow had known where they were going.

"I think something wants us to go there now. All of our auras are combining and being drawn together, heading in the same direction." Tara says.

"Great, I've been wanting to ask them why they didn't send me back further. Could have avoided killing that guy. And maybe a few other things I would've done differently." Faith turned towards the door.

Willow stiffened and let out a little gasp.

"What is it, Willow?" Tara asked.

"I.. can't believe I didn't tell you." Willow stammered and looked at the floor, shifting guiltily.

"Tell me what?" Faith turned back towards Willow, taking a menacing step forward.

Willow looks nervously at the other three women in the room but doesn't speak.

"Tell me what!?" Faith takes a step forward. Anger and frustration are pouring out of her, and Buffy is gasping at the assault and the sudden shift in Faith's emotions. Willow and Faith had been getting along pretty well lately, she was sure having to remember what Willow had done was not helping whatever was happening now. She was struggling with it herself and had to work hard not to compound the anger that Faith was feeling.

Willow looks around sheepishly. "When I hacked into the Mayor's stuff, I found out that Finch had been prolonging his life. I don't know if he was entirely human or not, but he had been working with the mayor for over a hundred years. He only turned on him when he found out that the Mayor wasn't going to keep him on board after the ascension."

"Are you fucking kidding me? You've known that for months, and you didn't tell me?"

"I was going to tell you, but then the thing with the book happened. Then I sorta forgot." Willow could not meet Faith's eyes and had her arms wrapped around her stomach.

"You forgot!" Faith is now inches from Willow. Her entire body is clenched, her face locked in a furious snarl.

"How could you do this, Willow?" Buffy's voice is soft. She's reaching for Faith, trying to pull her away. Putting together that the Willow from before might have known this too. If they had known about this the first time around, maybe none of the terrible mistakes that Faith made would have happened.

**Faith**

"I'm sorry I never told you. We all knew he was part of something evil, and you seemed to be over it anyway, I really did just forget." Willow offers softly. Faith looks long and hard at Willow.  _ She thought I got over killing someone?  _ She frowned, knowing she was mostly upset because she couldn't stop remembering what Willow had become. No matter how good Willow seemed to be now, Faith would still get flashes of the black-haired monster that opened the Hellmouth and almost killed Buffy.

Faith had never really gotten over what happened with Finch, but she had eventually figured out that it wasn't the accident that was where things went wrong for her. It was how she reacted to it. Panicking and pushing everyone away was her real mistake. If she had been able to accept Buffy's help the first time around, things might not have turned out the way they did.

"Let's go." Faith says, not yet willing to give Willow forgiveness.

Tara is staring off into space, her eyes unfocused. Without saying anything, she grabs Willow's hand, motioning for the slayers to join in. In a flash, the four women are standing in the structure where they had met the women who sent her back in time.

The slayers move to the wall and Faith touches it like she did before, and watches as the stone falls away. She and Buffy enter the tunnel, and the witches follow. They move in silence, approaching the pedestal and watching as the floor breaks away to reveal the stairs. Faith pauses at the top of the stairs and turns back to look at the witches

"Can you wait here? We should talk to them first." They nod, and she reaches for Buffy's hand to guide her down the stairs.

"You've returned." The keepers are standing side by side in the center of the room.

"You're observant." Faith replies, she was agitated and angry at these women. Faith had felt a significant change in herself since she was given her second chance. She now believes that she does deserve happiness and the enormous invisible weight she'd been carrying her whole life was gone, that didn't mean she wasn't still pissed off. She was still Faith. She still drew strength from her anger.

"I know you're upset with how things happened, but it wasn't our doing. We could not control the circumstances of your return." The blue keeper offered.

Faith scoffed.

"There have been forces aligned against you since your birth, Faith. We've done what we could to get you here. I wish we could have done more and that your path could have been less painful." The burgundy keeper moved closer. Her voice was soft. Faith again felt a calming familiarity with her presence. She knew she felt it before, and not just the first time they met, it was something further in her past. It increased her annoyance that she couldn't remember where she knew this woman from.

"Why did you give B her memories?" Faith asks, now realizing this is where her current anger is coming from. She hated that Buffy remembered the place Faith had driven her to. It was one thing for Faith to tell her what happened, it was entirely different for Buffy to have to actually remember what it felt like when they fought, when Buffy stabbed her, and when she almost let Angel kill her.

"That wasn't us. Her stubbornness returned those memories."

"Just before you were sent back, I remember focusing, trying to make myself remember how I felt about you. That must be why I trusted you all this time too." Buffy reached for Faith's hand, "don't be mad. I know you didn't want me to know about Willow, but it's ok. It'll be ok."

Faith only shook her head, sighing deeply and focusing on the calm and reassuring energy she felt from Buffy. She didn't want to point out why she was really upset. She knew they should probably talk about it but now wasn't the time.

"Why did you bring us here now?" Faith asked, trying to stay calm. She knew these women were her allies. They had given her a second chance. Even if they couldn't erase all the terrible memories of Faith's mistakes, they still gave her a chance to be who she was meant to be.

The burgundy keeper moved closer to the slayers, "you have a great purpose, we are here to provide you with the tools you will need."

"What is this great purpose?" Faith asks, feeling much calmer now. Letting herself be lulled by the calming energy of both Buffy and the keepers. She had always drawn strength from her anger, but now she realized she had a much more powerful source to draw from. The love she shared with not only Buffy but her friends as well, would give her far more strength than her anger ever could.

"The witches are part of your purpose. They should join us."

Tara and Willow descend the stairs without anyone calling up to them.

"Who are you?" Tara asks once she takes in her surroundings.

"We are known as the keepers." The blue keeper replies. "We watch over the warriors for good and provide guidance when we can."

"What are your names? Why did you bring us here?" Tara asks.

"We go by many names, but you may call me Alice." The Blue Keeper answers.

"You may call me Scarlett," the Burgundy keeper adds.

"We brought you here because you are now joined." Alice answers.

"All four of us?" Faith asks.

"Yes, the four of you are meant to be together to help keep the world free of evil." Scarlett supplies.

"Why now, though?" Buffy asks, "because Faith finally told me what happened?"

"Not exactly," Scarlett answers.

"Are you going to tell us why exactly?" Faith asks after neither keeper speaks. Faith groans a few moments later, "of course you're not going to tell us. What fun would that be?"

"We understand your frustration, but we are bound by strict rules." Scarlett offers, sadness clear in her voice.

Faith frowned but quickly knew the futility of asking more questions. These women wouldn't tell them anything, and she knew it. "If you can't tell us anything, why bother bringing us here?" Faith asks.

"You will face many trials, we can not tell you what will happen, but we can provide you with tools to aid you in this mission." Alice swept her arm over the room, gesturing to the many cases filled with weapons and other magical items. "You each may select one item."

The slayers were instantly drawn to the central case that held the Scythe.

"It is not yet time for that," Alice suggests calmy.

Faith shrugs and begins searching the remaining cases, she spots a plain looking dagger and retrieves it.

"What's so special about this? And why the hell can't I put it down?" She tries shaking her hand to release the item, but it stays firmly attached to her hand.

"Will it away." Scarlett moves to stand by Faith's side. It irks Faith that she had yet to reveal her face, but she still found herself calmed by the women's energy.

Faith looks at her hand, and the item is gone, the looks down again and it's returned. "That's neat, I guess."

The keeper chuckles. "You can will it to be any weapon you wish."

Faith looks at her hand again, and now she's holding a short sword, she thinks again, and now it's a stake. "Ok, that's fucking awesome." She says with an enormous grin as she tries several different weapon types.

"There is no limit to what time of weapon you can summon."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning any foe you face, if you imagine you are holding a weapon that can defeat it, you will be holding that weapon."

Faith grins wickedly, "Ok so that's even more awesome than I thought. What did you get B?" Buffy holds up the item in her hand. "Jewelry? Come on, all these badass weapons and you chose Jewelry?"

"What? It's pretty." Buffy pouted as she admired the ornate golden item in her hand. "What is this, anyway?"

"It's an ear cuff. It belonged to a slayer ancestor of yours from 400 years ago. It will allow you to detect evil in the hearts of man." Scarlett explains, showing Buffy how to attach it to her ear. The intricate design wrapped itself around the top of her ear and stays firmly in place.

"Man? Like humans? As in non-demony people? Why would I want to be able to do that? Isn't it enough that we have to fight demons?" Buffy whines at the keepers.

"Can't Tara already do that anyway?" Faith asks, not at all liking what she was hearing.

The keepers look to each other and nod.

"Tara sees much, but not all. This item will allow you to see what she cannot."

Faith starts to speak but stops herself.  _ Maybe she could only see the first in Willow because of whatever magic Willow was using to keep her alive.  _ She couldn't ask without revealing more than she wanted to.

Scarlett continues to explain, "Together, the four of you will have the power to push evil out of humans. That cuff will help you identify the humans who need your help."

"What do you mean? We're supposed to go around getting people to stop being so shitty to each other? Are we going to have to go door to door until we've made all the humans less awful?" Faith's earlier pleasure is being erased by this new information.

"It's for those who are influenced externally. Primarily by the first evil. Those who have let evil into themselves, willingly." Faith and Buffy share a meaningful look.

"What happens to the humans after we push the evil out?" Tara asks.

"It will depend on how influenced they are and what they have done. It will be a forced redemption. Some will handle it better than others."

The four women are silent as they contemplate this news. Faith isn't sure she likes what this may mean, but she gets the sense that it is very important to the keepers, like maybe it is their primary reason for existing.

"What does this do?" Willow asks, holding up a ring with a small green jewel in the center.

"That will allow you to call upon deep earth magic, allowing you to heal most injuries," Alice responds.

"Can it be used for medical conditions?" Faith asks.

"I'm afraid not. It cannot be used to affect the natural order of things. It can be used to prevent death and heal significant physical injuries, but it can not cure sickness."

"Right, of course not." Faith frowned, and Buffy moved to hold her. They hadn't yet discussed what they were going to do to prevent Joyce's death, but she knew it was on both of their minds.

**Tara**

Tara gave out a small cry. "I don't want that." She dropped the item she was holding back into the case.

Both keepers moved to her side.  _ "You are a being of pure light and magic. You will know when and how to use it." _ The blue keeper slides the small item into a box and hands it back to Tara. She accepts it reluctantly and nods.

" _ Why are you giving me this? Why does this awful thing even exist!?" _ Tara looks up at Alice with sadness.

" _ Everything is a cycle. Death, and rebirth. Without this, without you and your friends, there would be no rebirth when the end finally arrives." _

Tara frowns as she looks down at the item in her hands. The box prevented her from feeling the power, and she felt slightly better about holding it. She was not at all happy about the prospect of the end arriving.

" _ It will hopefully be a very long time before you need to use it. Keep it safe until it is time." _

Tara fights the tears that are threatening to fall. When she had touched the item, all she felt was emptiness. A complete void of all magic. She didn't understand what the keeper had meant about rebirth, but she had some guesses. The fact that they had been speaking telepathically let her know that the others weren't meant to know.

_ "Who are you?"  _ Tara had felt a very strong and familiar connection to the woman before her.

Alice smiled at her, " _ I am your family. All the witches from your line are part of me." _

Tara looked over at Faith, finally realizing why she has always felt so connected to the slayer, " _ Is she...?" _

_ "It is not the time to reveal all truths. She is not ready to know." _

Tara frowned, " _ wouldn't it make her happy to know she has a family?" _

_ "Not now it wouldn't. It would tear her apart. She must find her own way, in her own time. It is not possible to force her." _

" _ Here, you should take this as well _ ." Alice hands Tara a small red item that had been concealed in her cloak.  _ "She will need this, you will know when." _

Tara nodded, not at all understanding, but fully trusting Alice.

"You should return to your lives now, find all the happiness that you can with each other. Learn how to use your gifts."

The four women nod, and suddenly, they are back in Tara's dorm room.

**Buffy**

They stand awkwardly in Tara's dorm room, everyone seemingly afraid to speak.

"That was… heavy." Willow sighs and sits down on Tara's bed.

"Yeah, a lot to think about," Tara adds, sitting next to her.

"Maybe we can think about it tomorrow? This has been the longest day ever." Buffy is mentally drained and desperately wants to be alone with Faith. "We should probably do a quick patrol, too." She throws the last bit in, hoping it will lead to a quick exit with no more questions.

The witches nod, and Buffy is dragging Faith out of the room before anyone can say anything else.

"So… patrol?" Buffy asks Faith as they walk out of Tara's building.

"Seriously?" Faith asks with an incredulous look.

"Oh, thank god." Buffy knew they had a lot to talk about, but she really wasn't interested in talking right now. She ran to her dorm room, Faith just barely a step behind. They entered to the sound of Willow's voice on the answering machine - explaining that she planned to spend the night in Tara's room. Despite knowing they had the room to themselves for the night, Buffy stuck a chair under the handle of the door.

"You got plans, B? Worried about being interrupted?" Faith whispered into her ear as she leaned her body into the smaller slayer from behind, wrapping her arms around her stomach and holding her close. Buffy did have plans, but the chair was mostly to make sure Willow didn't surprise them again.

Buffy moaned into the contact, Faith began kissing her neck, and Buffy couldn't possibly put words to how good it felt. She turned in Faith's arms and began moving them towards the bed. Hands on each other's hips as they kissed passionately. Faith's legs hit the side of the bed, and she was forced to sit, Buffy moved to straddle her without breaking the kiss.

Buffy felt hands on her hips and lips kissing her neck. She was pretty sure this is what heaven might feel like. She fought through to regain control of herself. Pulling back slightly and pushing Faith, so she was laying down.

"Something wrong?" Faith asked.

Buffy smiled and stared down at Faith, shaking her head. She moaned and arched her back as Faith ran her fingers along the outside of her thighs. Nothing was wrong, but something was missing, and she wasn't sure what it was.

Her memory drifted to the last time she was in this position with Faith. The newly recovered memory of the night they slept together was very confusing for her. She had a strong feeling that Faith was trying to hurt her, that she had been trying to prove just how dark she was. She knew that what was happening now wasn't like that. She knew that Faith truly did love her now, and wanted this just as much as she did.

Faith was much better at shielding her emotions than Buffy was. When Faith opened herself up earlier, Buffy couldn't believe how incredible it felt. Faith had finally let Buffy all the way in, but she was closed off again.

Faith stopped what she was doing and sat up a little to lean on her elbows. "Something is wrong. Tell me."

"Nothing is wrong, I just.. I need..." Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I need to feel all of you."

Faith smirked, "I thought that's what we were working on."

Buffy looked down to explain that wasn't what she meant when Faith opened herself up entirely to her. All of the love and desire that Buffy needed to feel was everywhere. Buffy couldn't believe it. She could never have imagined how this would feel, it was even more intense than before. She wasn't aware of anything or able to form a thought until Faith must have regained control of her emotions. When Buffy opened her eyes again, she was laying on her back, and Faith was smiling down at her.

"You ok?" Faith asked.

All Buffy could do was moan lightly in response, pulling Faith in for a needy, desperate kiss. She was finding herself lost again, drifting back to that heavenly place, running her fingers under Faith's shirt. She felt the edge of the scar and froze. Her past memories colliding with her current burning desires causing her to lose the moment. Flashes of dark Faith filling her mind, the agonizing memory of what it felt like to drive the knife into Faith's stomach.

Faith growled and rolled onto her back.

"Did you just growl at me?" Buffy whined.

"It wasn't exactly at you." Faith sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Look. I get it. I can't imagine how confusing this is for you. "

"I almost killed you. I wanted to kill you." Buffy sighed, struggling with the mass of swirling emotions she was feeling.

Faith was quiet for a few minutes, and Buffy probed her feelings. Expecting to find frustration or anger, all she found was an odd resolve and contentment.

"It wasn't me you were trying to kill. Not this me. Not the me that I'm supposed to be."

Buffy sat up and looked down at Faith.

Faith smiled and sat up too, "I'm going to try to explain this, and I hope you get it. I hope you can understand. Because I want to move forward, I want... need us both to be free of everything that happened before." Buffy nodded and waited for Faith to continue.

"I always thought there was something wrong with me, some reason why I could never make the right choice. I would know what the right choice was, it was even what I wanted to do, but somehow I could never let me make that choice. I thought that was just what I was - a broken, worthless thing, that wasn't capable of not screwing everything up. Today I finally realized that it wasn't true, that it was never true."

Buffy raised an eyebrow, having no idea what Faith was talking about.

"OK - here's an example. When I first came to Sunnydale, every time I saw you or Giles, I wanted to point out that I was just a kid, living alone in a shitty motel. A place where vamps could just walk in anytime they wanted. Every time I went back to that place alone, a voice was screaming in my head for me to ask someone for help." Buffy gasped, Faith only shook her head and grabbed her hands. "Don't feel bad, it's not your fault. Even if you had offered to help me then, no way would I have accepted it. I couldn't have, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't have let you help me." Buffy knew Faith was right, it still hurt beyond belief to know that she had not even taken the time to think about what Faith's life in Sunnydale was.

Tears were starting to fall on Buffy's cheeks, and Faith wiped them gently away. "The first chance I got, I asked to stay with you, like I had been wanting to for months. It was like that for everything, every situation. I knew what the right thing to do was, I even wanted to do the right thing, but then I would do the opposite." Faith held Buffy's face gently in her hands, staring into her eyes. "When you stabbed me, you saved me. You set me free."

Buffy knew the truth of what Faith was telling her, not fully understanding the hows or whys of what happened, but knowing that the Faith before her now was not the same Faith she had tried to kill. Faith had once told her that she used Buffy's emotions to help guide her, Buffy had felt seriously conflicted when she found that out. A little weirded out by the idea of Faith using her that way. But now, she realized how much she had learned from Faith, how much she herself had changed.

"I think I set us both free." She whispered and leaned in to kiss Faith once again. No longer feeling haunted by those past memories. She didn't think it would be this easy, she knew she'd always remember what happened and it would weigh on her. For now, all she wanted to think about was how good it felt to be loved by Faith.

**Faith**

Faith woke up alone and instantly began to panic. She remembered falling asleep with Buffy in her arms, but now Buffy was gone, and her side of the bed was cold. It didn't take long before she felt a reassuring response from Buffy, she did her best to slow her breathing and not let her insecurities overwhelm her. Last night had been beyond what she had imagined it would be like. Now that she was more awake, she realized how ridiculous it was to worry that Buffy had left her.

"Did you forget I told you I had orientation this morning?" Buffy says as she comes in, carrying a bag of bagels and two coffees.

"I didn't expect to wake up alone." Faith frowns and pouts, crossing her arms over her chest in a way she hoped would convince Buffy to climb back into bed with her.

"You didn't. We had a whole conversation this morning before I left." Buffy grinned handing Faith one of the coffees and sliding into bed next to her. "Though your side of the conversation was mostly grunts." Buffy kisses her and touches her cheek lightly.

Faith relaxes as she remembers the conversation, "oh yeah… guess I forgot." Taking a sip of her coffee and then snuggling into Buffy's side. She puts the coffee on the side table and begins to slide her hands under Buffy's shirt.

Buffy moans but then stops Faith's hands. "Everyone will be here soon."

"What, why?" Faith pouts, she had been really looking forward to spending the day together, preferably in bed. Though she hadn't really thought through how that was going to work with Willow sharing this room.

"To help me move back home."

"What?"

"You can't think I'm going to stay in the dorms now?"

"I tried to convince you not even to come here. But you had to have the college experience." Faith rolls her eyes, remembering the absurd excuse Buffy used to explain why she wanted to move into the dorms. Faith had come close to telling Buffy about her mother to get her to stay, she had decided against it in the end. Deciding she would just continue to make sure Buffy made time for her mother.

Buffy looked embarrassed and backed away from Faith.

"What? What's wrong?"

"It wasn't so much the college experience… It was just getting a little too hard being close to you all the time without... "

"Having me?" Faith grinned and renewed her efforts to slide her hands under Buffy's shirt. She had known that was why Buffy wanted to move out. She had been struggling with the same issue herself. The constant contact since her 18th birthday had activated her libido and it had been starting to drive her crazy. It didn't help that she knew Buffy had been feeling all the same feelings. Now that they were together, she had no plans to continue trying to bury her desires.

Buffy moaned and leaned into Faith's hands, letting out a small growl when she discovered Faith was still completely naked. "I guess we do have a little time."

"Holy moly!" The sound of Xander exclaiming and dropping the coffee he had in his hands disrupted the slayers.

"What?" Anya pushes past him and smacks him on the arm, "I told you they were giving each other orgasms! You never believe me about these things."

"Yeah.. but.. naked and... " He starts blabbering, and Anya pushes him back out of the room.

Buffy groans and rolls herself away from Faith. "I guess we didn't have as much time as I thought."

She pulls her shirt back on while Faith continues to lie in bed, watching her. "Are you going to get dressed?"

Faith pulls the sheet down slowly, revealing herself. "Are you sure you want me to?"

Buffy rolls her eyes and throws Faith's shirt at her. "The sooner we get me moved, the sooner we can be alone again."

That gets Faith going. It only takes her a moment to throw her clothes on. "Is your mom going to be ok with us being together?"

"My mom knows."

"You already talked to her?" Faith started to panic a little. She had grown close to Joyce and began to worry that she would be kicked out once she found out about their new relationship.

Buffy blushes, "No, but apparently there's this thing I do whenever you're about to enter a room. I kinda space out… everyone calls it my Faith haze. She's been asking me for months when I'm going to ask you out. She's definitely ok with us being together."

Faith looks shocked and then smirks, she moves closer to Buffy, pulling her tight and kissing her gently. "Faith haze, mmm, I like the sound of that."

"Don't look so smug. You have a Buffy haze too. Everyone is just too afraid of you to say anything." Buffy laughs at Faith's pout, pulling her in for a quick kiss before opening the door.

"We're very excited to help you move again!" Anya cheered with very fake enthusiasm.

  
  



	29. Chapter 29

**Buffy**

Buffy had just finished putting her clothes away when she realized it had been a few minutes since she'd seen Faith. She could feel that Faith was still in the house and that she was feeling pretty happy. Smiling to herself, she went to search her out.

She found Faith in the kitchen, in the midst of a hug with her mother. A fairly unusual sight. Faith and her mother got along really well, but she had never seen Faith give her affection so openly to her mother before.

"Are you all settled back in your room?" Joyce said once she saw her standing there.

"Yes... settled." Buffy looked nervously between the two women.

"Good." Her mom replied. Buffy didn't miss her eyes darting over to Faith. She suddenly became a little unsure of what they might have been talking about and her mother's reaction to it.

"Is everything OK down here?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, everything is fine. Faith and I were just talking."

"About?" Buffy struggled to keep the nervousness out of her voice.

"We were just talking about how I should move out." Faith answered, and Buffy had to fight hard not to lose her mind.

"What do you mean? You can't move out!"

"It's for the best, B. We already decided."

"You can't just... But..." Buffy took a deep breath and centered herself. Since she had learned of the impact her emotions could have on Faith, she was very careful not to react to things until she fully understood what was happening.

She looked at the two women, noting the mischievous glint in both their eyes. Faith had a small sideways smile, and Buffy could tell through their connection that she was happy. If her mom had decided to kick Faith out all of a sudden, Faith would not be happy.

She put her hands on her hips and glared at them, trying to keep up the illusion that she was falling for their trick. "Where are you moving to exactly?"

"You'll see." Faith grinned and ran past her.

Buffy shook her head and laughed at the sound of Faith running up the stairs. "She's moving into my room, isn't she?" Buffy asked her mother.

"It's for the best, don't you think? I was getting tired of finding you two cuddled up on the couch."

Buffy blushed a little. There were many nights after slaying when neither of them had even a hint of injury. It was too awkward for either of them to ask the other to stay in their room under the pretense of healing, so they would just crash on the couch.

"You know that it's different now though, right? We're..."

Joyce held up her hand to stop Buffy from explaining further. "I really don't need any details, but yes. I know."

"And you're really OK with all this?" Even though her mom knew how she felt about Faith, she was still worried about upsetting her mother. Now even more so, that their time together is likely going to be a lot shorter than she thought.

Joyce hugged Buffy, "yes, I'm really OK with it. You two have to deal with so much. You need to find all the happiness you can." Buffy appreciated her mother's words, along with her not adding the 'for as long as you can' part. Having Faith in her life meant both of their chances of living were much higher, but they still were very unlikely to die of old age.

"Thanks, mom." Buffy leaned into the hug and relaxed. "I'm going to go see what she's doing up there."

Buffy stood in the doorway, watching Faith move around the room as she put her clothes away. Faith's happiness was buzzing through her. Buffy hadn't had much time to adjust to the memories of the original timeline. As she watched Faith now, she decided none of that mattered. All the mistakes either of them made then, led to evil overtaking the earth. She wasn't going to question getting a chance to prevent the way things had turned out before.

She loved the confidence that Faith was showing, there wasn't even a hint of fear or indecision in her emotions. She definitely didn't always love Faith's confidence. When they had first met, it was one of the things she found most annoying. But now she had a much better understanding of the other slayer. Since the killing of the deputy mayor, she had watched Faith transform herself.

Faith was now a person who would do anything for the people she cared about. Instead of pretending like she didn't care about anything, she was totally open with everyone. Frequently telling them in a variety of ways that she cared about them.

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and stepped into the room.

"That wasn't nice, making me think you were leaving." She tried to pretend like she was angry, even though Faith would know she wasn't.

Faith turned to her and grinned, "I knew you wouldn't fall for it."

Buffy was mesmerized by Faith's grin and moved closer. Wrapping her in a hug and leaning her head on Faith's shoulder. She smiled as Faith squeezed her tight. They stood in the room and held each other, letting their emotions flow freely.

Even though their lives were not going to be easy. They fully had each other now. Neither had to hold back their feelings for each other, and Faith no longer had to be afraid of what would happen if Buffy knew her secret. Buffy hadn't even realized how much Faith's fear had been impacting her. It had been a minor drain on both of them, and now it was gone.

Whatever happened next, they'd have each other to rely on.

It was the first day of her first college class, and Buffy was excited. Everything in her life was perfect. Except of course for the destiny and the sense of impending doom that followed her around everywhere she went. She could definitely do without those things. Everything else was exactly how she wanted it. She had love, friends, and family, and a belief that there was hope that she could have a happy and normal-ish life.

Buffy was sitting with Willow in the front row, and they were both getting their materials ready for Psych 101. She was still getting used to being able to feel Willow's energy, their close proximity strengthening the feeling. The connection they now shared was helping her deal with her memories of dark Willow. It had only been a few days since her memory was returned, and she sometimes had flashes of her friend with black eyes, but it was beginning to bother her less.

Whenever it started to get to her, she would just remind herself of Faith and how amazing she was now. She and Faith had talked a lot since her memories returned. Buffy still held guilt for how things had happened the first time around, but she was so happy with how they went this time, that the guilt was fading quickly. She was certain that this was how things were supposed to turn out. It felt completely right to her, unlike her memories of how things happened the first time.

She was daydreaming about Faith when she felt a nudge from Willow. "Are you going to be able to stop thinking about Faith long enough to learn something today?" Willow smiled at her, there was no snark or any hint of malice towards Faith in her joking accusation. Faith had managed to forgive Willow for not telling her about the Deputy Mayor sooner. They still weren't exactly best friends, but there was no tension between them.

"I'm not sure. I'm going to at least try. You'll let me copy your notes?" Buffy grinned back, and Willow stuck out her tongue. "Wait, how did you know I was thinking about Faith?" They hadn't had a chance to discuss the changes between the four of them. Buffy couldn't feel Willow or Tara the same way she felt Faith, but she wasn't sure how it was for them.

Willow giggled at her, "it's kinda obvious."

"That's all though right… you can't actually tell what I'm thinking or feeling?"

"No." Willow shook her head, "I've gotten a little better at reading auras, but it takes a lot of concentration. I only have a basic idea of what I'm seeing means though."

Buffy breathed out a sigh of relief. She really didn't like the idea of Willow knowing what she was thinking about. Not just about Faith, but it might force her to reveal things she doesn't want to about what she remembers from the original timeline.

She stiffened slightly when Riley entered. She had known he was a student here but didn't expect him to be in any of her classes. He stayed up near the front of the class and offered her a shy smile. She politely smiled back and returned her attention to her class material.

The professor entered the room, and Buffy suddenly felt violently ill. The professor was talking, but Buffy couldn't hear anything she was saying. All she could do was focus on the inky blackness crawling all over the woman. She let out a small shriek, Willow was reaching for her and asking what was wrong, but Buffy couldn't answer.

The professor's attention was now on Buffy, and she could see that blackness reaching towards her, almost as if it was sniffing for her. She shrieked and ran out of the room, dragging Willow with her. Having the feeling that they were both in danger by being near the evil surrounding the professor, even if she hadn't yet made any sense of what she had seen.

Willow tried to resist being pulled from the room, but she was no match for Buffy's panic and strength.

When the Keepers had given her their magical item, she hadn't thought about what to expect. She had assumed it would be similar to what she had seen in Willow's aura with Tara's help. A darkness surrounding her and trying to push its way in, it was disturbing, but it did not affect her physically. What she saw with the professor was entirely different. It was inside her, crawling around, burrowing through every part of the woman. Buffy had been fighting evil for years, but she had never seen or felt anything that affected her like this.

Willow was by her side and asking her questions, but Buffy couldn't explain what was wrong. She could feel the comforting response from Faith, which calmed her slightly. Only when she could feel Faith finally getting closer does she start to feel any hope that she might be able to deal with what she'd seen.

As soon as Faith was visible, Buffy ran to her and hugged her tightly. She clutched desperately at the other slayer, it took her several moments of Faith's contact before she was able to speak.

"Where's Tara?" She asked once she could form words. She didn't want to have to explain twice what she saw, and she knew they would all need to be part of what happened next.

"She'll be here soon," Willow answered.

"C'mon. Let's go sit down." Faith guided Buffy to a couch in the common area while they waited for Tara.

When Tara finally arrived, Buffy tried to explain what she saw. She had already taken off the ear cuff and toyed with the idea of destroying it. She never wanted to see anything like that again. Now that she had time to calm, she realized that she couldn't destroy it. It was her duty to fight the evil she saw, no matter how hard it was going to be. She saw first hand what the First was capable of. She had to fight it.

"I've never seen or felt anything like that. The darkness was everywhere. I could feel it trying to reach into me." She took a deep breath and looked at her friends. "We have to stop her."

"Let's go." Faith said, jumping up.

"I don't think it will be that easy. Riley works with her. Which means she might be part of the Initiative." Buffy was nervous about how to handle this situation without revealing too much, neither of them had explained to anyone else about the Initiative. Buffy hadn't even told anyone else that she had her memories restored.

Faith growled, "those fuckers."

"What is the Initiative?" Willow asked.

"Do you remember those men in uniform that rescued Faith on her birthday?" Willow nodded, "they were part of the Initiative. We don't know that much about them, other than where their compound is and that they hunt demons and experiment on them." Buffy finished, and Faith growled again.

"They didn't rescue me from shit that night." Faith commented, shaking her head.

"They pulled you out of the house and took you to the hospital," Buffy argued back.

"Yeah, except if it wasn't for them, I never would have needed to go to the hospital." Faith was pacing now, anger flowing from her. "I had just killed the second of those demons Wes trapped with me. I was standing there, catching my breath when the walls started coming down. I'm pretty sure they zapped me with their stupid guns too."

Buffy frowned, a little annoyed that Faith had never bothered to tell her this before. She rubbed her temples and tried to focus on what mattered. "Ok, so we stop them. I didn't see any sign of evil in Riley, so maybe he'll help us."

"How the hell are we going to explain all this?" Faith asks, waving her hands in frustration.

"He must know something about the supernatural world. We'll just have to convince him."

"Excuse me, are you OK?" The four women hadn't noticed Riley approaching. "I'm Riley, Professor Walsh's TA. She asked me to come to check on you." Riley was staring at Buffy, who laughed and shook her head when she felt the irritation from Faith at his presence.

They hadn't exactly come up with a plan, but she knew they had to act fast. The darkness saw her, if the Professor was part of the Initiative, they could be in real danger. "No, I'm not OK. I… we need your help."

"What? Help with what?" Riley asked, looking a little concerned.

"Are we really going to have this discussion out here?" Faith asked.

"We have to do it now. She saw Willow and me. She might have the whole Initiative to use against us."

Riley let out a small squeal and tried to back away. Faith was behind him in an instant, pushing him back towards the group. Riley turned and finally saw Faith, his posture stiffened further as he found himself surrounded.

"Umm… I have to go." He tried to get past Faith again.

"No, you really have to stay." Faith none too gently grabbed him and pushed him closer to the group.

"Look, we know who you are. Sort of… we know things about the Initiative, but we're the good guys. You are actually working for the bad guys." Buffy approaches him calmly. "We don't have time to prove anything to you. We just need your help. No one is going to get hurt. We just need a few minutes alone with Professor Walsh."

"What… are you going to do to her?"

Buffy frowned, not knowing what was going to happen. The Keepers were pretty vague about how it all worked, and they hadn't had any time to talk about it.

"Umm... Buffy?" Willow asks nervously.

Buffy whirls around to note that the once vacant common area is now filling up with faces she recognizes. Men trying very hard not to look like they are part of a secret army that fights demons. She sighed heavily before sliding the ear cuff back on. She closed her eyes for a moment, preparing herself for what might happen. She held her breath when she opened them, exhaling a huge sigh of relief that none of the soldiers were infected.

"Don't you think it's a little weird that your boss called in her army to check on a girl who was sick in class?" Buffy asks, turning her attention back to Riley.

He didn't answer, but he did hold up a hand at the team of soldiers slowly surrounding them. Classes began to empty, and the area filled with students, no one seems to notice the slayers, witches, and soldiers standing stock still as they are surrounded.

"B, we should get out of here while we can."

Buffy looks back at Riley, taking a chance that the secret area Willow had used was the same one Professor Walsh would be using now. "She's up to something. Look into 314."

The four women quickly retreat, getting swept up in the swarm of other students, believing the soldiers will not attack them in such a public place.

Buffy paces frantically in Giles' apartment. Her mind reeling as they tried to come up with a plan that won't get them trapped in the Initiative. They had been in there for three hours, Buffy refusing to let any of them leave until they figured out how they were going to stop the Professor. They had spoken to the Keepers who were of no help, only telling them that they had everything they needed to succeed.

Giles was in contact with the council, but as of yet hadn't found any useful information about the organization.

"She probably has office hours," Tara suggests.

Buffy turns to look at her, completely confused.

"You said it was just her. So we get her alone in her office and hopefully figure out whatever it is we're supposed to do." Willow adds cheerfully.

"She's not going to let any of us get close to her. She... it saw me. It knew who I was, I could feel it." Buffy shudders at the horrifying memory.

A knock at the door makes them all jump. They stare in silence for several long minutes before the knocking becomes more insistent. With a growl, Faith pulls the door open, grabbing for whoever is there without looking and pulling them into the room.

"Woah…" Riley gasped as he was flung into the wall by Faith.

"How the hell did you find us?" As far as Buffy knew he shouldn't have any way of knowing they would be here.

Riley held up the folder he was carrying.

"What is that?" Buffy asked, taking a step closer to him.

Riley shuffled nervously, "There wasn't much that I understood in that room you mentioned, but I did find this folder."

"Let me see that." Willow motions for the folder and Riley hands it to her. "I can't believe this!" Willow's eyes widen as she flips through it. "They have information on all of us."

"How is this possible?" Buffy asks, pacing around the room.

"Wesley." Willow hisses.

"You have Wesley?" Buffy shoves Riley against the wall. Buffy is a little surprised at how much effort it takes to hold Riley still, a small boost from Faith is enough to keep him in place though.

"I'm not sure  _ have _ is the right word. He's not a prisoner."

"Giles!" Buffy screams for her Watcher as she backs away from Riley. "Did you know Wesley was awake?"

"I hadn't heard anything. The hospital was to call me if his status changed."

"We hid him. The hospital wouldn't have called," Riley explains.

Buffy began pacing again, "what's the order for us? Are you supposed to capture us?" One of the more crazy ideas was to let themselves get captured, believing they could escape if they needed to. There were many problems with that plan, including the likelihood that they would be split up.

Riley shakes his head, "the order is… kill on sight."

"For all of us?"

"Actually, just you."

"Wow, I feel so special." Buffy shakes her head and starts pacing again. "Is that normal? Orders to kill humans?"

"Um… Wesley was a lot less than honest when he explained who you are." Willow motions to the folder, "he told them you were both demons. It says Tara and I are low-level witches who practice dark magic."

"Why did he have to wake up from his coma!?" Buffy growled before taking a deep breath. "Why are you helping us if you think we are demons?"

Riley frowns and looks at his feet, "I didn't exactly read everything in that folder, I just grabbed it."

"Still, your boss ordered a hit on me," Buffy questioned.

"I just... Umm… I thought you needed help." Riley shuffled nervously.

"Yeah, right. You think she's cute and if you helped her maybe she'd get with you. You can admit it." Faith leans against the wall with a scowl on her face.

"What? No… I mean… I saw her around campus a few times… but…" Riley stammers while Buffy shakes her head at Faith's outburst.

"Well, whatever your reason. Nobody here is a demon or at all evil. We are vampire slayers, that's why we're so strong. We were chosen to fight vampires and demons. Unlike your organization, which seems to enjoy capturing and experimenting on them." She looked over at Faith, who was still annoyed. She considered for a moment taking advantage of Riley's possible feelings for her. She wasn't entirely sure he was going to cooperate with them. But as ridiculous as it was to her that Faith could possibly be jealous of Riley, she wasn't going to do anything that might make those feelings worse.

Grinning, she walked up to her and pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her. Pulsing her through the slayer connection, letting her know that there was no one else she was interested in. Faith relaxed into the contact and sighed happily.

Riley made a small choking sound and cleared his throat, "I've never heard of vampire slayers… but you don't seem evil." He started towards the door, "I need to get back."

Faith blocked his way before he could escape, "tell us where our good friend Wesley is."

"He's in the Initiative."

"What level? What room?" She squeezed his arm a little, grinning at his grimace.

"It doesn't matter. You can't get in there."

Faith laughed, "how about you let me worry about that. Where is he?"

"Hospital wing, 3rd level."

Faith smiled and released her grip and opened the door to shove him out. "Wait!" Buffy grabbed for Riley and brought him back in.

"B? We don't need his help." Faith insisted.

"But we do. As much fun as it sounds to go down there and beat everyone up, that isn't going to get us what we need. If the Initiative is some government thing, they'll keep coming for us. We have to get the program shut down."

"They have orders to kill you." Faith whispered, pulling Buffy further away from the group. "I won't risk losing you."

"I am completely in favor of no one getting killed." Buffy agreed, "but if we can't get her to cancel the order, they might never stop coming after me."

Faith rolled her eyes, not at all hiding her exasperation, "fine. Let's come up with a real plan."

It took almost two hours, but they did finally come up with a basic plan.

The four women, Riley, and two other soldiers made their way through the tunnels, with Faith in the lead. Faith occasionally paused and even had to backtrack a few times, but eventually, they stood in front of a large metal door.

As soon as they approached the door, a gate behind them slammed shut. Buffy tensed as she sensed movement in the shadows.

"What the hell are those things!?" One of the soldiers asked in horror.

Creatures that looked vaguely human stumbled forward, awful keening sounds emanating from them.

"Paul? I thought you were dead?" Riley asks, his voice shaking as the figure closest to him came more into sight. The creature had parts of a human face, but the rest of his body was a mishmash of different types of demon skin. Buffy was fighting not to retch at what she was seeing.

"Pretty sure he is dead." Faith commented before shoving away the creature closest to her.

Riley lowered his weapon at Paul, "I don't know what's going on, but stay back!" The creature ambling towards him did not stop, and Riley fired. Paul shook and made a horrid screeching noise, but did not stop. The smell of burnt flesh filled the cavern as the electricity pulsed through the creature.

"B?" Faith looked back at Buffy for guidance, but Buffy had no idea what to do.

"These things are not alive - not human," Tara said with a shaky voice.

"You're sure?" Faith asked, and at Tara's nod, Faith brought forth a sword and took out the thing in front of her. She continued to tear through the abominations while the rest watched on in silence.

Once there was no more movement, she stopped and sighed, willing her weapon away. Buffy moved to her side and comforted her. "They weren't human," Buffy whispered to her, knowing the conflict Faith would be feeling at having to kill a human. Faith nodded and leaned into Buffy's comfort before they turned their attention to the massive door before them.

The men moved to attempt to slide the door open, after a few moments of their futile attempts, the slayers approached the door to help. It slid open with loud protest as the locking mechanism on the inside was twisted and forced out of the way.

The room on the other side contained several metal tables that looked to be set up for experiments. There were diagrams and illustrations showing images of plans for human/demon hybrids. A few of the images even contained names of the soldiers that were designated for these experiments. The horror of what they had seen in the previous room now explained.

Riley was shaking as he focused on one in particular. Putting his hand over his heart and frowning heavily. "She put a chip inside me." His voice was filled with agony, and Buffy felt terrible for the soldier. She had no idea what they were going to find down here, she was counting on it being something damming enough to get the program stopped, but this was far worse than she had expected.

"Gather everything you can, this is more than enough to get the program shut down," Riley called to the other soldiers, and they moved quickly.

"We have to find the professor still." Buffy motioned to her friends and moved further into the compound. The next room was the one she was dreading seeing the most. The metal exam tables Willow had used for her and Tara were still in the room. She frowned and leaned into Faith's comfort. Neither said anything, not wanting to explain why this room might be upsetting.

There was a small hallway that would lead them to the official area that was supposed to be room 314. When they had initially come through here, it had been hidden by Willow's magic. Now their path was blocked by another metal door. Buffy and Faith dismantled this door just as easily as the previous one. Stepping into the room and surprising Professor Walsh and a man in a lab coat.

"How did you get in here!?" The professor shouted and rushed to push a button on the wall. Faith was quicker and blocked her from reaching it. The man backed away, cowering in the corner. Buffy frowned at seeing the evil crawling through the man. It was not nearly to the degree that it was with the professor, but it was enough to make her stomach churn.

"So now what do we do?" Willow asked.

"I have no idea," Buffy replied as she stepped closer to the professor. "It's in both of them."

"We're human. You won't hurt us!" The professor yelled, trying to show confidence, but the fear was obvious in her voice.

"I think… I think we just have to be close to them..." Buffy says, watching the darkness surrounding the man react to her getting closer.

"No! Get away! You can't!" Professor Walsh screeches and attempts to reach the exit, once again finding herself blocked by Faith. She screams as she makes contact with Faith and recoils, launching herself away from the slayer and crashing into the wall.

"Seems like she really didn't like being touched," Buffy observes. Grimacing as she reaches for the scientist who was now closest to her. The man began to twist and thrash, attempting to free himself. The witches and Faith added their own contact, and after only a few seconds, the man started to calm. He was released and dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face.

Professor Walsh meanwhile and gotten back up off the ground and started to launch herself headfirst at the wall.

"What the hell is she doing?" Faith asked while quickly restraining the woman and preventing her from hurting herself further.

"Don't do this! Kill me instead, please. Kill me!" The woman shrieked, kicking her feet wildly in an attempt to free herself from Faith.

The others moved quickly to add their contact to the woman. She stopped her fighting, and Faith let her drop heavily to the ground. The woman was still shrieking, but Buffy could see that evil no longer infested her.

The Professor slumped over and vomited while continuing to blubber and beg for death. The four women watched on in complete horror. Buffy slid the ear cuff off, silently deciding she was never going to wear it again. Not at all understanding what this woman was going through, but feeling somehow responsible for having caused her pain.

The man had recovered and was attempting to comfort the sobbing professor. Without comment they left the two scientists behind, returning to the soldiers.

"Did you find Professor Walsh?" Riley asked once they saw him again.

"Yeah, we found her. It's done." Faith answered as none of the others were able to find their voice.

"What about Wesley?"

Buffy cringed at the question from Riley. She just couldn't deal with any more today. She hoped Wesley was just misguided and not actually evil, but she didn't have the strength to find out right now.

"Later." Faith replied softly and began to walk with the others to the tunnels.

"Wait." Riley tossed her a pager, "we'll be in touch. I've already radioed everyone to know to leave you all alone. You'll be safe."

Once they were back on campus, the group parted ways, agreeing to meet up later.

Buffy was reeling, this morning, everything was perfect, and now she was filled with dread. Was this what their life was going to be like from now on?

"Why do you think she acted like that?" Buffy asked not able to voice her actual fears.

"I don't know. She did some pretty terrible things."

"I…" Buffy swallowed hard, she had the ear cuff in her hand was looking down at it. Faith closed her hand over Buffy's and shook her head. She took the item and stuffed it into her own pocket. "But.."

"We'll use it again when we need to. For now, we've got other things to take care of." Faith took Buffy's hand and started walking.

"Where are we going?"

Faith grinned, "there was that nest Giles wanted us to clear out tonight. I think it'd be better to do it now."

Buffy frowned for a second and then the slayer in her began to awaken. Taking out a nest of creatures that deserved the death only she and Faith could give them was exactly what she needed right now. It was something she could understand.

With their intense connection and after a summer of slaying together, the pair were an unstoppable force. They had learned how to share their power, drawing from a massive pool of resources whenever they felt they needed it. Their moves synchronized as they tore through the vampires and demons that stalked Sunnydale. For this nest, they decided that they wanted the battle to be a little more challenging.

Each held a single stake as they knocked down the door of the abandoned house. Several vampires were instantly vaporized when the sun hit them, but at least a dozen more scattered into the shadows. The slayers bared their teeth and launched themselves at their nearest victim. They each fought with more fury than they normally would. They let the primal force that was the slayer free within themselves while they fought. They let the anger they each felt and couldn't put words to, be quenched by the brutal battle.

When there were only 3 left the slayers slowed their assault, much of the anguish from what they had experienced in the Initiative had been wiped away, and they remembered who they were and how good they felt when they were in sync. Each slayer had taken more damage than they normally would during a patrol and they didn't want to take any more.

Faith had transformed her stake into the sword she frequently used when she was fighting. Buffy stood back and watched as Faith made quick work of the remaining creatures.

When they made their way to the Giles' apartment to report in, Willow and Tara were already there.

"Are you two OK?" Giles asked once he took in the disheveled and bloody slayers.

"Yeah, we're good. Just took out that nest." Faith answered, dropping onto the couch while Buffy slid in next to her. "Did they tell you what happened?"

"They did." Giles frowned at them. Buffy could feel his disapproval of their condition. They were rarely even slightly injured when they were slaying together. Now they were covered in bruises, and each had several bloody slashes. Buffy wasn't at all worried about the damage. They had already healed quite a bit just from their closeness on the walk to Giles'.

"We're fine Giles," Buffy answered his disapproving glare, knowing that he was only concerned about them, but not entirely sure she could explain it to him in a way that he would understand.

Giles posture did not seem to change.

"We went to visit the Keepers." Willow chimed in. Buffy smiled gratefully at her for the disruption. "We would have waited for you… but."

"It's OK, Willow. What did they say?" Buffy leaned heavily against Faith, who had her arm wrapped around her.

"They said that we did what we had to do." Willow frowned, looking over at Tara.

"Helpful." Buffy groaned.

"Yeah, I kind of yelled at them a little." Tara offered, "then they said whatever you decided to do was OK. And you would do the right thing when you needed to."

"Cryptic. But comforting, I guess." Buffy shrugged, the information was more than she had expected, but not nearly as much as she would have liked.

The pager Faith had been given began to trill. She hopped up and grabbed the phone, punching in the numbers, "Yeah?" She listened for a few moments before hanging up. "Guess they're shutting everything down. Wes was already gone before Riley could find him." Faith shrugged a little before sitting back down next to Buffy.

"Wesley called about an hour ago." Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his brow. "He apologized and said we'd never hear from him again."

"That doesn't really seem good enough. He tried to kill Faith and then he told some government organization that we were demons! He can't just get away with that!" Buffy was furious, Wesley had almost killed Faith this time, and the first time he ruined her chance at rehabilitation with Angel.

"What would you have me do?" Giles asked in annoyance.

Buffy scowled and crossed her arms over her chest, "the council better not send another watcher here. In fact, I don't ever want to hear from them again." She looked over to Faith for support. Buffy had wanted to quit the council since her 18th birthday. Her restored memories made her even more sure of her decision. She was pretty sure what Faith would think but wasn't going to force anything on her.

"I'm with B on that one."

"They have resources that I do not," Giles argued.

Buffy considered her response. She did mean to slight Giles in any way, she still cared for him and knew how important he was to Faith. "Resources that they'll only ever give us access to when and how they want. They don't care if we live or die, Giles. We have enough power in this room to stop anything. All the council ever does is get in the way." Buffy was tired and didn't want to argue anymore. She stood up and held her hand out to Faith. "You do what you think you need to, Giles. But I mean this completely. They are not to know anything about us." She motioned to indicate Tara and Willow as well.

"I understand Buffy. I promise they don't know anything about you four or the powers any of you possess."

"Good. We're gonna go."

"Wait, please."

They sat back down on the couch and waited while Giles looked at them nervously.

"Is something wrong?" Faith asked. Buffy could feel her nervousness. Faith almost never lets her feel when she was upset or worried about anything. She pushed comfort over their connection and felt Faith relax slightly.

"No, nothing is wrong." Giles finally seemed to calm and settled on the couch across from them. "I just… well… I know it's none of my business what either of you does with your private lives…"

Buffy stiffened as she felt Faith tense up again. Buffy was suddenly very nervous. She hadn't considered what it would mean to Faith if Giles disapproved of them having a relationship. She was used to him not approving of hers, but she knew it would be devastating to Faith. She held her breath as she waited to see what Giles would say.

Giles smiled, "whether you need my approval or not - you have it."

Buffy was blown away by the relief she felt from Faith.

"Thank you, Giles. That means a lot."

  
  



	30. Chapter 30

**Faith**

Faith hadn't told them all that Riley had told her, not during that quick phone conversation and not a few days later when he stopped by to thank her again and say goodbye, offering to come back and help if they ever needed it.

After his visit, Faith snuck back into the Initiative, to take care of the mess they left behind. They had abandoned it, leaving all the captured demons and possible other creations behind.

Faith was confused by the outrage she felt about that. They were demons. She was going to kill them.  _ What difference did it make if they starved to death or die at the end of my sword? _ The logic of it didn't matter. She knew it was the right thing to do.

She ran into Tara in the tunnels. She was just standing there, clearly waiting for something. "Tara? What are you doing down here?"

"I'm not sure. It just seemed like… what are you doing down here?" Tara looked out of sorts.

Faith growled, "those bastards just left all their caged demons in there. Was going to clean it up." She had expected some response from Tara, but there was none. Only a slight nod to indicate that they should continue.

She considered telling Tara to leave, but it was comforting having her there. She wouldn't lie if Buffy asked her about this, but she had no intention of telling her. It wasn't because she felt guilty about it, she just didn't want Buffy to ever think about this place again.

They walked in silence as Faith led them into the compound and made their way up to the second level. The place was eerie in the dark, and Faith was grateful that Tara was there. A simple spell illuminated the darkened hallway holding the containment cells. Their presence had alerted the demons, and they began shouting and hammering on the glass of their cells. Faith motioned for Tara to stay back before approaching the first glass enclosure.

She didn't bother to identify the demon on the other side of the barrier, she called forth a large hammer and shattered the glass. Relieved when it shattered without her having to draw on any extra power from Buffy.

The demon launched itself at her, and she quickly switched to a sword and cut it down. Eight more cells were cleared this way. Neither she nor Tara saying a word as she methodically cleaned up the Initiative's mess. When she got to the ninth cell, she paused.

"Wait." Tara was next to her, and they peered into the cell. A man with bleached blonde hair was huddled in the corner. He had torn most of the skin off his arms and face. Faith's senses were a little haywire with all the demon activity, though there were only a handful of containment cells left, at least that's what she hoped. She was sure this man was a vampire, but he wasn't acting like one she'd ever seen before.

Faith moved to smash the glass like she had all the others, but Tara's hand was on her arm. "Save this one for last."

Faith shrugged and moved away, leaving Tara to stare at the creature.

When she had cleared the rest of the cells, and the man was the only demonic signature she could feel, she returned to Tara's side. He had moved closer to the glass and was looking confusedly at them. Faith wasn't sure if he could see them or not, but he appeared to be following them with his eye

"He's a vamp, gotta take care of him." Faith commented when Tara didn't seem to be getting out of her way.

"He's got a soul."

"What? Like, Angel?"

"I don't know about Angel. But that vampire has a soul." Tara hadn't taken her eyes off the creature in the cell.

"So what the hell do we do now? He looks crazy."

Tara put her hand on the glass, and the man placed his hand against hers. "We should help him," Tara commented quietly, stepping back from the glass.

Faith didn't understand, but she wasn't about to argue about it. Angel had tried to help her, even if she had a lot of complicated feelings about him - she knew that having a soul meant something. She wouldn't kill a creature that had a soul if she didn't have a good reason.

"Can you hear me?"

The vampire looked up to meet her eyes but didn't respond. She brought forth her hammer and motioned for him to move to the back of the cell.

Fear registered on his face as he scrambled away from the glass. Faith smashed it in once he had gotten far enough away. She stood outside the glass with Tara, unsure of what to do. He was still cowering away from her.

"We're not going to hurt you." She stepped towards the opening, but Faith held her back. "How did you get your soul?

"Soul?" The vampire choked out and then began to laugh incredulously. "Like Angel? Those bastards made me like that ponce?"

"You know Angel?" Faith asked, trying to figure out who this vampire might be.

The vampire rose and cracked his neck. "Yeah, I know captain forehead. We traveled together for a bit, a long time ago." He began to pace the cell, not getting any closer to the opening. "Knew I shouldnt've come back to this awful town. Thought I could finally get the slayer for what she did to me."

At the mention of the slayer, Faith was in the cell holding the vampire up by his throat. "What do you know about the slayer?"

"I helped her! Angel was going to destroy the world, I helped her stop him, and she let me, and Dru split. That didn't quite work out. I figure it's blondie's fault. Thought maybe it'd make me feel better if I took her out."

Faith slammed him against the wall. A stake in her hand, pressed into his heart, just barely beginning to pierce the skin. Now she was sure who this vampire was and wasn't sure how much she cared if he had a soul. "Spike." She hissed, his eyes widened at the mention of his name.

"Faith!" Tara called out, trying to pull her away from the vampire.

"He wants to kill Buffy, and you want me to let him go? Don't care if he has a soul, if he's after her, he's dust."

"Hey, easy! That's just why I came here, but now that they shoved a soul down my throat... maybe I'll see if she wants to be friends like she was with Angel." He gave an evil sneer, and Faith couldn't restrain herself any longer. She struck out with the stake only diverting her blow enough to miss his heart. Instead, impaling him in the shoulder.

"Ow! Bloody hell!" Spike howled and clutched at the new hole in his shoulder.

"You stay the fuck away from her." Faith growled and backed away from Spike.

"You must be the new slayer, then." Spike grinned, biting his lip and leering at her. His attempt at trying to look sexy failed on all fronts.

Faith rolled her eyes, "what are we going to do with him? Are we just supposed to let him go and trust that he's not going to eat anyone?"

When Faith had released Spike, he collapsed to the ground and held his head.

"He needs our help." Tara insisted, leaning down to comfort the vampire.

Faith watched him in confusion. He seemed to be suffering. She knew that Angel had been tortured by the memories of what he had done as a vampire. She knelt down in front of Spike. "You get one chance. If I ever even suspect you're up to something, you're dust. Got it?"

Spike tilted his head at her and nodded. "Got it."

Faith stood up. "Good, let's get you the hell out of here."

It had taken Faith longer than she would have liked to get Spike safely to Giles' apartment. She now stood in front of the door, afraid to knock. She was late for her meeting with him, and she was sure he was going to yell at her.

The door opened before she could find the courage to knock. Terrified of the disappointment she was going to see on his face.

"Faith? Are you OK?"

She had been bracing herself for yelling and didn't immediately hear the question.

"Faith?" Giles called to her softly, and she finally heard him.

"Sorry, I know I'm late." She had been working with Giles in secret for the past month, studying for her GED. She had been completely overwhelmed by how much she had to learn but was finding that she was managing to make some progress. It had been part of their arrangement that she never be late, and now she had broken their agreement. She really looked up to him and hated to disappoint him.

"I'm sure you have a good reason, please come in."

She furrowed her brow at how reasonable he was being.

"Did you expect me to yell at you?"

"A little bit, yeah."

"I know we got off to a fairly rocky start, but you have never let me down once since we starting working together," Giles replied, and Faith felt relief wash over her. Even with as much as she had changed, she still struggled with accepting that people believed in her. "So, do you want to come in and explain?"

"Actually, you need to come outside." Giles followed her around the side of his building to the shady spot where she had left the vampire.

"Is that Spike?"

Faith nodded, "he was in the Initiative... Tara says he has a soul."

"Bloody hell," Giles took his glasses off and rubbed his brow. "Do you have any idea how this happened?"

"Tara said she'd research it, but she didn't know. He didn't even know what they had done to him." Faith motioned to Spike who had dropped to the ground, holding his knees and rocking. "He seems to go in and out of... whatever that is. Sometimes he's totally fine."

"What are we going to do with him?"

"I was kinda hoping you'd have some ideas." Faith shrugged.

"Maybe, we should contact Angel."

At the mention of Angel, Spike stood up. "No way. I don't need his help. I'll be fine in no time."

Faith frowned, not at all sure what to say about that. She sighed, "Tara said she'd be by later. She was looking for some spell to try and figure out what happened to him."

"So, you're leaving him here, then?"

"Well... I can't exactly take him home and leave him with Mrs. S. I gotta talk to B about all this too."

Giles grimaced, "very well. Let's get him chained up."

"What do you mean chained up!?" Spike backs away from the pair, "I'm not going to hurt anyone."

"It's all good and well for you to say that, and I trust that Tara is right about your soul. But until we find out more of what happened, you will not be allowed to roam free."

"People with souls do all kinds of horrible things," Faith added in.

Spike scowled, "this isn't right. I was just caged up by those soldier boys, and now you expect me to just cooperate with this?"

Faith grinned and took a step towards the vampire, "no one said you had to cooperate."

xxxx

It had been almost a year since they'd dealt with the Initiative. Buffy was not super excited about Spike being back in their lives, but she reluctantly accepted that helping him was the right thing to do. Rehabilitating the vampire was slow work, but he had begun to be part of their group. Tara and Willow had run several tests on him, but they couldn't identify how he was given his soul. Even return visits to the Initiative hadn't revealed anything.

Faith knew that Buffy still didn't entirely trust him, but Faith had grown to enjoy his company. He made a decent slaying partner when Buffy couldn't slay with her. He would tell her stories from his past. She had found him quite entertaining.

Things with Buffy were fantastic. She knew Buffy still occasionally felt like she had to do everything herself. She still took the blame for things that were in no way her fault and refused credit for the amazing things she had accomplished. Faith did her best to keep Buffy distracted, a simple touch, or even a smile. Anything to let Buffy know that she wasn't alone. Of all the things she'd accomplished since getting her second chance, making sure that Buffy knew she wasn't alone was the thing she was most proud of.

When she first met Buffy, she didn't understand the girl at all. Faith couldn't comprehend how much being a slayer weighed on her, once she was able to feel Buffy it started to make more sense. Buffy felt immense guilt for every person she couldn't save, every injury she couldn't prevent. She weighed every decision against the potential harm in others.

Faith had always focused on the fun parts of slaying, and she still did. She reveled in kicking demon ass, but she was more cautious now. She thought things through. She didn't just rush into every situation. She could see how they balanced each other out, sharing the weight of their slayer duty while at the same time finding ways to enjoy as much of life as they could.

Faith smiled as Buffy started to wake up. She loved the first few moments before Buffy started to feel the weight of the world crashing down on her. Buffy opened her eyes and smiled back at Faith, moving closer and pulling them tight together. Their blissful moment was disrupted by a knock on the door.

"Faith! Are you taking me to school?"

Buffy rolled away from Faith and groaned. "Be out in a few minutes, squirt." Faith commented, before leaning over to kiss Buffy. She stood up and was almost to the door before she froze. She very rarely thought of anything that happened during her original time in Sunnydale anymore, but she was sure Buffy didn't have a sister the first time around.

"Um...B? Since when do you have a sister?"

Buffy sat up, confused, "what do you mean, Dawn… wait…"

The knocking on the door pulled Faith back into the moment, "I'll be right there!"

"I'll come with you. Then we can meet with Giles, maybe he has some idea of what is going on." Buffy hopped up from the bed and quickly threw on some clothes.

Dawn rolled her eyes as soon as she saw Buffy was coming with them. The drive to school was quiet. Normally Dawn would gab endlessly to Faith, but never when Buffy was around. Faith had no idea why the sisters were always at each other's throats or why Dawn looked up to her so much. It was all very confusing having these memories that she knew weren't real.

"What do you think she is?" Buffy asked once they were alone.

"I have no idea. She doesn't feel evil or anything."

Buffy huffed a little, "you just think that because she worships you."

Faith chuckled, "maybe that's part of it. I… I feel like we're supposed to protect her."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Buffy sighed and looked out the window. Faith could feel the worry and fear building up within Buffy.

"Hey, we'll figure it out. We always do. Right?" Faith parked in front of Giles' apartment and gave Buffy a light kiss, using their connection to try to comfort her.

"Right." Buffy agreed before climbing out of the car.

"Hello, girls. Is there something wrong?" Giles asked as they entered his apartment and sat down.

"Dawn."

"Is she in trouble?" Giles asked with a raised eyebrow.

Buffy didn't look like she wanted to explain, so Faith tried. "No… she's just new."

"What do you mean?"

Faith looked at Buffy before she continued. "She didn't exist before today."

Giles sat down across from them and rubbed his forehead. "Are you quite certain?"

"Positive. We've got all these memories of her, but Dawn wasn't there the first time."

Giles had no theories. Even meeting with the witches gained them no new information. They seemed to feel there was nothing evil about her energy. Tara even gave her the same potion she had given Willow just to be sure she wasn't an agent of the first. She kept that bit of information from Buffy, not wanting to bring up anything that might remind her of the First.

It had been almost two months, and they hadn't made any progress in figuring out where Dawn had come from or why she might have been inserted into their lives.

"Are you sure this is where you found it?" Faith asks, getting a little annoyed at not finding anything. They had been wandering around an industrial area for over an hour and hadn't come across anything to fight. Buffy had found a strange glowing orb the previous night, and they were trying to see if there was anything else of interest while the rest of the Scoobies researched the item.

"Pretty sure. Why are you so grouchy tonight?" Buffy asks and bumps Faith with her hip.

"I just wish we knew what she was. Why she was here." Faith replied. That actually wasn't true at all. Faith was agitated because Buffy was. She knew as soon as she said it that it was going to start a conversation she wasn't sure she was ready to have.

Buffy frowned at her and stopped walking, leaning against the wall of the alley. Faith stood next to her and waited for Buffy to say something. She could feel the turmoil Buffy was feeling and desperately wished there was something she could do to fix it.

"What's going to happen when my mom dies?" Buffy asks sadly.

"Don't you mean  **if** ?"

Buffy just shrugs, it had become an impossible situation for Faith. Joyce had been complaining of headaches recently, and the doctors couldn't explain why. They didn't know if it had anything to do with how she was going to die, but Buffy was becoming increasingly despondent about it. Faith had even taken a custodial job at the hospital, getting close to doctors and interns. So far, she hadn't learned anything useful, but she hoped the connections would eventually pay off.

"It's just not fair." Buffy pouted and kicked at the wall behind her.

Faith knew exactly what was running through Buffy's mind. They discussed it countless times. Faith had learned that Buffy just needed to vent. It drove Faith crazy that she couldn't actually fix this problem for Buffy, all she could do was listen and be supportive.

Buffy sighed, "I don't know why they can't at least tell us when or how. I know they said we can't use magic to save her because there's no magic or demons involved... but they must know something that could help us. Something we could tell the doctors."

Faith reaches for Buffy. She had no argument for Buffy's lament, she felt the same frustrations. "We don't even know for sure if it's going to happen, we just have to make the most of the time we have with her." Faith pulls her close and pushes a stray lock of hair behind Buffy's ear. Leaving her hand on her cheek and pushing her love and support over their connection. "You know that is what she would want."

Buffy closes her eyes and leans into the touch. "I know.. It's just… I barely know how to take care of myself...how am I going to take care of Dawn too?"

Faith frowns and drops her hand. "You want to send her away?"

Buffy's eyes shoot open, and she reaches for Faith, "No!" She shakes her head, "no. I'm just scared. I don't even know if our dad knows who she is. I don't know if someone will try to take her away from us."

Faith relaxes a little at Buffy, finally suggesting that they both might take care of Dawn. She had an interesting relationship with Dawn. The girl seemed to worship her, and Faith couldn't deny that she liked that feeling. She also felt an incredible need to protect the girl, to make sure that she didn't have to feel the horrors of the world. That included the human kind of horrors as well as the demon kind.

Her memories were filled with spending time with the girl, trying to teach her about life. Trying to show her the line between having fun and making serious mistakes. Dawn was rebellious and didn't always understand how dangerous her reckless decisions could be.

"We'll figure it out. No one is going to take the brat away from us." She grinned at Buffy, and they continued walking.

There's the sound of a man yelling in the building they were approaching, along with the sound of a woman ranting. She was demanding to know where her key is. The slayers split up, and each found an entrance to the building.

Faith appraises the scene, a woman with a cheap perm in a fancy red dress wailing on a man in robes who is tied to a chair. She has no idea what's going on, but she's sure she doesn't like this woman. She can't tell exactly what the woman is, her senses tell her she's not human, but she's not exactly a demon either. The man she's wailing on though is definitely a human.

She spies Buffy across the way. The slayers are to either side of the woman. She motions for Buffy to stay still while she maneuvers behind the ranting woman.

"Just tell me where my key is, little man!" The woman delivers another blow to the man's face. He only smiles up at her. Blood and teeth falling from his face. His eyes are swollen shut. Faith knows he can't see her approaching.

"I think I have your key." Faith suggests, leaning casually against a beam.

The woman whips around and narrows her eyes. "Is that right?"

"Yep, got it right here." Faith holds out her hand and calls forth what has become her favorite weapon. It is a scimitar coated in magical fire. It's perfect for killing vampires and demons, plus it looks really cool. "What do you think? Is this what you're looking for?"

The woman puts her hands on her hips, drumming her fingers in irritation. "Who the hell do you think you are? You don't have my key!"

"Oh? Are you sure?" Faith looks down at her hand in mock confusion. "Someone told me this was the key. They said some crazy lady was looking for it." Faith was sure not to follow Buffy's movements with her eyes. Hoping to keep whoever this was distracted long enough for her to save the guy tied to the chair.

"You're starting to annoy me."

Faith shrugged and took a step towards the woman. "Then you're probably really not going to like what happens next." She moved faster than anyone possibly could. Since Buffy had managed to retrieve the man and pull him to safety, she began filling Faith with her power. She struck out at the woman, slicing her several times before the woman could even move.

The woman shrieked, not in agony but in annoyance. "What is this? A vampire slayer? Are you kidding me? I am a GOD!" The woman yelled again, and all her wounds vanished, then she struck out at Faith's chest with a closed fist. Faith went flying, taking out one of the support beams. Faith had a moment to wonder if she could have absorbed that blow if she hadn't been drawing on their shared slayer power.

Buffy called out to her, but Faith quickly rose and was thrusting her weapon once again. She was more cautious and avoided the God's strikes, all while slicing and stabbing the woman dozens of times. She was growing frustrated that they would heal almost instantly. The woman got the better of her, and she went flying once again. This time she landed near Buffy.

"I do love watching you fight… but maybe it's time to stop messing around?" She suggested, helping Faith back to standing.

Faith grinned at her, wiping the blood off of her chin. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

The God had moved closer, intent on retrieving her victim. Faith stood and managed to stop her progress.

"Don't you ever give up? You can't hurt me!"

Faith begrudgingly willed her favorite weapon away and imagined she was holding whatever it was that was needed to end this being before her. "Are you sure about that?" Faith held up her new weapon. It was not particularly intimidating, a short sword with a large green jewel in the hilt, but it did get the woman's attention.

"No! You can't!"

Faith absolutely loved everything about being a slayer. Cutting down demons or other beings who thought they were better than her, was probably her favorite part. Striking fear into the heart of a God made her giggle. She could feel Buffy's eyes on her, as she stalked towards the God, brandishing her new weapon. "Does this make you nervous?"

"You can't have that! Who are you?!" The woman screamed and stomped her foot, making the building shake.

"Hurry up, Faith. This guy needs help." Faith nodded at Buffy's encouragement.

Faith was considering her options, fighting a God was a pretty exciting proposition, but she wasn't stupid. She didn't want to risk losing anything by dragging the fight out any longer than she already had.

She felt the surge of power from Buffy and used it to move while the God was distracted with her tantrum. She was barely fast enough to get a slice across the woman's stomach, but the effect was immediate. The God screamed, and a powerful stream of bright purple energy was pulled out of her and into the gem on the hilt of the sword Faith carried.

Faith marveled as the woman before her, transformed into a man with long wavy hair. The man's eyes were wide in confusion as Faith held up her hand to strike out at him. Since her accidental killing of the Deputy Mayor, Faith had put a lot of effort into training herself to make sure the same type of accident could never happen again. She sensed nothing magical about the man before her and quickly dropped her arm.

"Pretty sure I was just fighting a chick." She commented, tilting her head. The man was squeezed into the same red dress the woman had been wearing, but there was no injury across his midsection.

The man began to laugh, "you did it! I have no idea how, but you got rid of her!" He launched himself at Faith, hugging her tightly. She stood frozen as the man continued to laugh with unbridled glee.

"Um... B? What the hell?"

"I have no idea. Let me call Willow to heal this guy."

Willow appeared a few moments later. Willow had made incredible progress with her teleporting. It was a large drain on her resources, so she used it sparingly, but it was definitely handy when someone was in dire need of healing. It only took her a few more moments before she was collected enough to realize there was a man who was near death who needed healing.

The man gasped as his injuries were healed, "how did you… what?" Looking over at the man, who was just a few moments ago a woman, "you killed the beast."

He looked at Faith in complete reverence.

"Looks like. What was that all about?" Faith moved closer to the man, kneeling in front of him.

"She… was a God. She needed the key to return to her home dimension. We sent the key to you to keep it safe… but now I guess that no longer matters." The man sat up and rubbed his hand over his face.

"What key did you send us?" Faith asked.

"Dawn, he must be talking about Dawn," Buffy whispered.

"Yes," the man nodded. "We poured the magic of the key into her."

"So what happens now?" Buffy asked.

The man frowned, "I don't know. We didn't expect you to be able to defeat her." Faith wasn't super excited by the news that whoever these people were, expected them to fail.

"Is Dawn in any danger?" Faith asked.

"No, now that the beast is gone her magic is neutralized."

Buffy and Faith exchanged a look, "so that's it? I just have a little sister now?"

The man nodded, "yes. She is human and innocent."

Faith didn't know what to think about all this. Nothing changed about how she felt about Dawn, now knowing what she is. She still felt like she wanted to protect her and make sure she had a happy life. Buffy seemed to be feeling just as confused, and she was sure they would have a lot to talk about.

"Hey, don't I know you?" The man who was no longer a God approached them. He had found some painters overalls and looked a bit more comfortable no longer stuffed into a dress.

Faith looked closer at him and realized she did know him, "Ben. You're an intern at the hospital." She hadn't spoken to him before, but she had seen him around the hospital.

Ben smiled at Faith, "and you're the janitor that's been asking all those questions. If you want, I could take you out sometime. Maybe I could answer some of your questions."

Faith grinned at the low growl she heard from Buffy and was not at all surprised at the warm body suddenly pressed to her side. "Be nice. Maybe he can help us." Faith whispered low enough so only Buffy could hear, at the same time pulsing their connection with her love.

Ben didn't seem phased by Buffy's actions, "I really owe you for taking out Glory, you have no idea what you've done for me. What are you, anyway? How did you get rid of her?"

Faith shrugged, "not exactly sure how I got rid of her. But I'm a vampire slayer."

"A slayer. Interesting."

"Glorificious!" Several short-statured creatures entered the space. They wore long robes, and their faces were horrifically deformed.

"Where is she?" One of the creatures grabbed Ben and began to shake him.

"Sorry, she's gone. You'll have to find some other hell-god to worship." Ben sneered at the creature and pushed it away.

The creatures wailed and fell to the ground.

"What the hell are these things? Should we kill them?" Faith asked, wanting to blow off a little more steam. The fight with the God ended up being a little anticlimactic.

"They're fairly harmless," Ben commented while kicking one that had rolled near him away. For the first time, he noticed Buffy. "Buffy? Your mother has been in for headaches, right? Is that why you've been asking so many questions?"

Buffy and Faith shared a glance, "yeah. We have some knowledge of the future and…" Buffy couldn't continue.

"We're pretty sure Joyce is going to die from an aneurysm." Faith completed Buffy's thought.

"Do you know what kind or where? Sometimes they can deal with those before they become a problem."

"No, we don't know any details. We were only told that it was painless." Faith frowned, wishing she had somehow thought to get more details from Willow before she was sent back in time.

Ben's face dropped a little.

Faith was relieved that Buffy didn't seem to notice his change in expression. "We've asked them to run extra tests for her headaches… but they say they won't, without a reason."

"I might be able to help." Ben smiled at them, before noticing one of the wailing creatures on the floor had gotten too close. He kicked it away and sighed. "Let me know when she'll be in, and I'll make sure she gets all the tests possible."

Buffy smiled at him, "thank you."

  
  



	31. Chapter 31

**Buffy**

Even with Ben's help, they are unable to prevent the death of Buffy's mother. They had tried everything, they even explained to her what they knew was going to happen. Making sure that Joyce cooperated with all the testing and treatments they wanted to try. Even with all their efforts and preparation, it was still devastating and unexpected when the aneurysm occurred. Faith had been completely supportive, letting Buffy and Dawn fall apart, while she kept things together.

It had been several months, and Buffy was beginning to heal, she would still occasionally cry when she thought of her mother, and she hadn't even been able to enter her mother's room. But she was functional, school was going reasonably well, and she and Faith were making enough money to stay afloat working their menial jobs.

Something suddenly changed about a week ago, and Buffy doesn't know what caused it. Faith became distant and cold. She'd disappear and wouldn't say where she had been. She'd come home covered in injuries but always refused any help. She wouldn't let Buffy touch her, she'd either sleep on the couch or in the basement if she came home at all. Sometimes Buffy would find her sleeping in their bed when she came home from work or school. Any time Buffy tried to talk to her, Faith would just take off.

The first few days, Buffy had thought it was just stress. Faith had been working two jobs, and they had barely been able to spend any time together since her mother had died. Dawn was becoming more and more combative, frustrated that she had to be alone all the time and refusing to understand why. Buffy's own stress over finals and the general stress of life led her to believe whatever was going on with Faith would pass on its own. That they would get back to normal once her finals were over.

Buffy only realized how wrong she was when Tara finally explained about the void she had seen within Faith's spirit when they first met. Tara had told her all their energies had been repairing the void, and until now, it had been held completely closed. Now it was more torn open than it was when Tara first met them and nothing any of them did was helping to repair it. Tara had no explanation for why this might have happened, it wasn't anything gradual. It had been a couple of weeks since Tara had seen Faith, but there was no indication of a problem then. To say that Buffy was furious with Tara for not mentioning what she knew about Faith earlier would be a serious understatement.

The previous night had been particularly bad. Buffy hadn't wanted to follow Faith when she ran away, but after learning about how serious the problem was from Tara, she had to. With Tara's help, she tracked her, keeping her distance and just trying to make sure Faith wasn't going to get hurt.

When Buffy found Faith, she was barely alive. She quickly texted Willow, letting her know to meet them at the house. She carried Faith's limp body home and gently placed her on the couch and headed upstairs. Knowing that Willow would heal her. It hurt her too much to watch. She didn't know how much more she could take. If she hadn't already died, she might have thought that this was what dying felt like. But since she had, she knew this was worse. She felt simultaneously completely numb and filled with extreme physical pain.

"B?" Faith entered their bedroom to find Buffy just staring at her closet. She held a bag in her hand but wasn't moving to fill it. "What are you doing? Are you packing?"

Buffy looked down at her hands in confusion. She hadn't even been aware of what she was doing. It wasn't a conscious thought. She just wanted it to stop. She wanted her happy life back.

"Don't be upset. Red healed me. I'm totally fine. See?" Faith tried to get Buffy to look at her, but Buffy just closed her eyes. Buffy could barely feel anything from Faith anymore. It reminded her of when they first opened the connection. Faith's feelings were muted and confused. She wasn't able to send strength or healing over their connection anymore either.

Buffy didn't know what to do about any of it. Everyone had tried to confront Faith, to get her to see that something was wrong and that she needed help. Faith would say horrible things in return. Buffy hadn't truly been afraid that Faith would physically hurt anyone, but the longer things went on, the more that idea started to creep into her mind.

She dropped to her knees and began to weep as she thought over this past week. Some small part of her always thought this might happen. That there were things Faith was holding on to that she wouldn't acknowledge. She blamed herself for not stopping this sooner, for not being able to help Faith through whatever it was that was happening to her.

Strong arms held her and carried her to bed. Not letting go as she sobbed herself to sleep.

She woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She frowned heavily as soon as she realized she was alone.

"We sent her this morning. When do you want to go?" Tara answered before Buffy could even say hello. She knew what was happening to Faith was hurting Tara almost as much as it was hurting herself.

"A few hours?" Buffy suggested, hoping that would be enough time for Faith to do what she needed to.

"See you soon. It's going to be ok."

"Yeah." Buffy sighed, she desperately hoped Tara was right.

Buffy ended the call and rolled onto her back. She knew what Faith was about to do was going to be hard, but she also knew that she'd get through it. It would never be completely over, but Faith needed to do this to have any chance to be free of her past. To truly accept what she had become.

She had tried a few times to get Faith to talk about her past. She tried to do it as gently as possible, just trying to let Faith know that she was ready to listen if Faith ever wanted to talk about it. Any references to Faith's past would cause her to shut down. Faith would try to play it off, saying it didn't matter, but Buffy knew she was lying. The few times Buffy attempted to push the issue were the only times that Faith caused her physical pain with her emotions. She had even tried to talk to Tara about it, she didn't have any additional insight and suggested that they just had to wait for Faith to open up when she was ready.

Buffy had not wanted to spy on Faith, but she had to find out more about Faith's past. A few days ago, she found the folder that Faith had retrieved from the Mayor's office. It contained surveillance and other information about Faith from the time before the deputy mayor was killed. They had been monitoring her ever since she arrived in Sunnydale, just waiting for the right moment to turn her to their side. It also contained letters from Faith's mother advising the Mayor on how to take advantage of her. Buffy couldn't bring herself to read them. It was too much of an invasion of Faith's privacy. She only skimmed through them enough to get a general idea that Faith's mother was still alive when Faith killed the Mayor and that she was incredibly cruel.

She gave Willow the name and address she had found and asked her to dig into it. She wanted to have some idea of what Faith had been through so they could help her after she confronted it. Willow hadn't been able to find out too much information about what Faith had been through. Not finding anything made Buffy feel even worse about spying on Faith. She desperately hoped that whatever Faith was doing now, would help her find her way back.

Buffy rolled over and pressed her face into Faith's pillow. Enjoying the lingering scent and ignoring the crusty remnants of whatever it was that Faith had been covered in last night. She reflected on the previous week and the events that led up to it. Tara seemed to believe that someone must have done something to Faith to cause such a drastic change, but Buffy couldn't help but blame herself entirely. Faith had given everything of herself to Buffy and Buffy was taking advantage. She was determined to be whatever Faith needed her to be right now.

**Faith**

Faith rolled down the window of her borrowed car and pressed the button for the intercom. The gate before her slowly slid aside. She gripped the steering wheel, her face tight with determination. She drove up the driveway and parked, methodically getting out of the car and standing in front of it. Staring at the large house, that should have been her home and tried to remember what had happened here. She only had vague memories of this place. Memories of pain, fear, and loneliness. Memories of being told over and over again that she didn't belong, that she was broken and worthless. That she was better off dead, that all she could ever do is hurt people.

She had never even hinted at the truth of her childhood to anyone. They all just assumed she was poor white trash. That her mother was an abusive drunk, who died before she was called and her father abandoned them. She let them believe that. It was easier to explain than the truth. It's true that her mother was abusive, just not in any traditional or neatly packaged way. Faith never knew her father, he had abandoned them when she was only a baby, and her mother never let her forget that. Taking every opportunity to point out that Faith had driven him away.

She remembered the last time she stood here. It was after Kakistos had killed her Watcher. She came back here, hoping that her mother would finally tell her why she couldn't ever do anything right.

Faith couldn't understand how she had been given her slayer powers only to fail so completely. Only to watch the first person who tried to care about her get ripped to pieces right in front of her. When she stood here all those years ago, a voice called to her. It told her to go to Sunnydale, it promised her that the answers were with the other slayer and not here. That was the only thing that prevented her from returning to her mother and letting her finish the job she had been trying to accomplish for Faith's entire life.

Faith shook the memory away. She was here now. She had to confront her past and make herself whole. She had a family now, one that she knew she was hurting deeply. She had to fix it.

The longer she stood there, the more conflicted she felt. She had never let herself remember what had happened here. She only remembered the feeling, and that feeling was emptiness mixed with terror. Terror of leaving the emptiness. If she was empty, nothing could hurt her. For so many years, that's what she did. She wouldn't let anyone close to her, she would focus on her anger. If she were angry, she wouldn't have to feel anything else.

But now, everything was different. She couldn't remember what it felt like not to be empty, but Faith knew she wasn't empty anymore. She knew she had love and wasn't the least bit empty. The past two years of her life were real, she was important, and she was loved. She knew it, she just didn't believe it. The answers were inside that house. The explanation for why she was destroying everything she built, everything that she deserved.

Taking a deep breath and steeling herself, she pushed away from the car and walked up to the front door. It opened before she could knock, a well-dressed man that she didn't recognize standing before her. "She's waiting for you in the sitting room."

There's a moment where Faith has to restrain herself from the automated response, pointing out that she's not allowed in that room. It doesn't matter, though. She has no intention of meeting her mother there. "She knows where she can find me."

Faith strides past the man confidently, making her way to the only room she had ever spent any time in.

The kitchen looks the same as she remembered, sunlight streaming in through the large windows covering one wall entirely. The room was cold and sterile. There was no indication that it was even used anymore. A light coating of dust was visible on every surface. She was assaulted with conflicted feelings as she took in the space. Her only good memories happened in this room, but far more bad ones were formed here.

"Faith! I'm so happy to see you!"

Faith is pulled out of her reverie by her mother, who was quickly approaching with open arms. She looked just as Faith remembered her. Perfectly tailored outfit on her too thin frame and expertly applied makeup. She hated that she bore any resemblance to this woman. They both had wavy brown hair and brown eyes, along with dimples and a smile that they knew how to use to convince anyone to do anything.

Conflict burned through her, a tiny voice in her head telling her to drop to her knees and beg this woman for forgiveness. Beg her for anything. There was more to her now though, she wasn't a weak little girl afraid of disappointing her mommy. She was a slayer, she was strong and filled with power. This woman may be able to destroy Faith with her words, but she was in no way going to touch her. She had decided long ago that no one would ever touch her if she didn't want them to.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She shoves the woman away before there can be any hug.

"What do you mean? Can't a mother be happy to see her only daughter?"

"A mother can. You can't." Faith hops up onto the counter, swinging her feet, intentionally bumping them into the cabinets. Watching as the facade her mother was trying to hold began to fail her.

"I don't know what you mean. I'm delighted to see you again after all this time." The woman's toothy grin was sparking fury within Faith. Part of her craving the approval, a driving need to keep that smile on her mother's face. The stronger part of her wanted to smash the woman's teeth in.

"I don't give a shit what delights you."

"Why are you here?" The woman replied through clenched teeth.

"I want to know." Faith's head is starting to pound, the ringing in her ears, making it impossible to think. She presses one hand to her forehead and groans. "What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?"

Her mother began to cackle and clasped her hands together. A wide smile on her face, "Oh Faith. I just knew you couldn't do it. I knew you weren't strong enough. I tried to help you. You just wouldn't listen."

Faith groans, clutching at her head. As her mother gets closer, she begins to feel something else. Something calling to her, something telling her not to listen. She reaches for it, she remembers the comfort of that voice. The pain in her head begins to lessen. "That's not an answer."

"It's simple, really. You're evil. You were born with evil inside you." The woman says it so matter of factly, that Faith almost gives in and believes her.

Faith screams and grabs her mother, shoving her against the wall. The woman laughs maniacally. Again Faith hears the voice, telling her it's a lie. Telling her there's nothing evil about her. Faith drops the woman and backs away. As she runs her hand down her hip to grab her thigh, she feels the item Tara gave her before she left. Feeling a bit of her confidence returning, she smiles and tries to compose herself. She focuses on the voice, she focuses on her memories of Buffy and her friends. Knowing that she's loved and holds on to that with everything she has.

Faith began to walk slowly around the room, feeling more and more confident. Tracing her fingertips over the smooth, cool surface of the granite countertop, leaving trails of disturbed dust in their wake. "Do you remember the last time you caught me in here?" Faith pauses, but her mother doesn't respond. "I almost did what you wanted that night. You almost had me."

She absently ran her hand over her thigh, able to feel the ridges of the scar that would never completely fade through her tight jeans. A constant reminder of what her mother convinced her to do. "Every day for years after that I almost did what you wanted. I even tried to find other people to do it for me, but somehow, it never happened."

Faith doesn't know why her mother is pretending to be nice to her, or why she's staying silent. She doesn't care. It gives her the chance to say what she wants to say before she uses the item Tara gave her.

"You failed, though. I'm still here. Not only am I still here, but I'm important. More important and special than you can even imagine. I have people in my life who care about me. One in particular who loves me, and always will. Despite what I almost let you turn me into. Everyone always thinks the person they love is the most important person in the world, but this time it's true. She actually is, without her, without us… but no. You don't get to know about that."

Faith can tell her words are starting to wear her mother down. That false smile is beginning to fade into the angry scowl that she knows lives there. "Why are you here? If you think you can come back after all this time and take what's mine, you are sorely mistaken."

Faith laughs and rolls her eyes. "I don't want anything from you." Faith pulls the item out of her pocket and holds it in her fist. She can feel its warmth as it begins to glow. "I already told you why I'm here, I just want to know what's wrong with me."

Faith's mother struggles, clearly not wanting to answer the question but being compelled to by the crystal Faith had on display. "There's nothing wrong with you."

Faith raises an eyebrow. "So then, why? Why did you… do all the things you did to me?"

"I hate you! I hated you from the moment I laid eyes on you. You were so happy, and he loved you so much! He would never love me as much as he loved you. Everyone who met you loved you, always saying how cute and smart you were. I couldn't stand it!" Her mother is panting now, Faith waits to see if she'll say more. She's beyond shocked so far and doesn't have any idea how to respond anyway.

"I'm not your mother. Your father only married me because I looked like her. He even made me wear her ridiculous wedding ring. Which I can't seem to remove no matter how hard I try. I have nothing, everything here is yours."

Of all the things she could have heard, none of that was what she was expecting. A tiny part of her feared the woman would have some actual answer to why Faith deserved to be treated that way. Some hidden truth that explained why Faith could never make the right choices and always found ways to hurt those around her. Finding out that this monstrous woman was not her mother completely freed herself from all the pain she had been holding on to for her entire life. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Show me." Faith held her hand out to the woman.

"What?"

"The ring."

"No! It's mine!" She clasped her hands together and pulled them close to her chest.

Faith ignored the woman's protests and easily pried her hands apart. Faith could see where the ring irritated the woman's hand, it was red and blotchy, showing years worth of abrasions that were never allowed to heal. The ring instantly slid off the woman's finger and into Faith's hand. She smiled down at it briefly before sliding it onto her pinky and feeling it fill her with warmth and comfort. The ring shifted size so it would fit perfectly.

Slipping Tara's crystal back into her pocket, she walked past the woman she no longer held any thoughts for.

"Faith! What are you going to do?"

She didn't answer. She didn't even hear her words. She was singularly possessed with the need to get back to her family and to move forward with her life. So much of her pain and suffering had been for nothing.

Faith was almost to the front door when she felt the familiar sensation that told her Buffy was near. She picked up her pace, running out of the door and scooping the smaller slayer up in her arms, swinging her around like in a cheesy romantic comedy. A goofy grin on her face.

"I guess you're not mad that we came?" Buffy asks once she's firmly back on the ground.

"Surprised, not at all mad." Faith grinned at Willow and Tara. The people she considered her family, and now she could think of family without any negativity or fear. She frowned a little when noticing Dawn wasn't there.

"Dawn is with Xander and Anya. We weren't sure what we were going to find." Buffy commented quietly.

Faith smiled and nodded her understanding. The past week was a total blur to her. She only now realized that she had barely seen Dawn at all during that time. As she thought back over the past week, she started to lose sight of the happiness she was just feeling.

She couldn't remember all of what had happened. She remembered saying horrible things to everyone she loved, she remembered pushing Buffy away and all the hurt she had caused. She remembered the look of horror and pain on Buffy's face. She buried her face in Buffy's shoulder, begging the wholeness that she knew she should be feeling to come back to her.

**Buffy**

Buffy looked at Tara who shook her head slightly, indicating to Buffy that this wasn't over. Buffy knew things were at least better. She could feel Faith again. This past week had been unbearable for her. Having been so deeply connected to Faith for so long and then losing it was excruciating. Even if it wasn't over, she believed things were at least moving in the right direction.

"Faith! I may not have given birth to you, but I am still your mother, you will respect me!"

The sound and sight of the woman exiting the house took the wind out of Buffy's happy moment. Faith sighed and pressed her face against Buffy's shoulder harder.

"Faith… she has a gun." Buffy whispered, unable to make any sense of what could be happening.

The four women turned to stare at the crazed gun-wielding woman approaching them.

"Do you have any idea how many times I tried to kill you? I poisoned you, tried to starve you, all those  _ accidents _ you used to have, but nothing ever worked! Well, let's see if you can escape this time. First, I'll take out the people who you seem to believe care about you so much. I think I'll start with the girl you seem to think loves you."

She aimed the gun at Buffy. Faith had moved without hesitation to put herself between the gun and Buffy. She moved before the woman could register the movement and stop herself from squeezing the trigger.

There was an explosion and then screaming. The gun had backfired in the woman's hand. Blowing off her thumb and index finger, sending shrapnel into her face and chest. Buffy looked on in horror as the woman dropped to her knees, screaming and crying in agony.

Faith walked calmly up to the woman. "Are you done now?"

"What is protecting you!?" The woman screeched in frustration, reaching out to Faith despite her severely damaged hand.

Faith kicked the woman's hands away and turned back towards her family, leaving the woman in a sobbing bloody heap. The doorman had approached and was attempting to help the woman.

"How did you know where to find me?" Faith asked once she had returned to Buffy and the witches.

"It was in the folder from the Mayor's office." Faith raised an eyebrow and frowned at Buffy's answer.

"I forgot about that." She shrugged and looked down at her feet.

"Did you ever look through it?"

Faith shook her head. Buffy could start to feel Faith fading away. Buffy looked at Willow and Tara, not having any idea what to do, panic beginning to set in.

"There are a few things you should know, Faith." Willow started.

"You know what was in that folder too? Have you all been spying on me?" Buffy shuddered from the flash of anger she felt from Faith, something she had never felt before.

"I'm the only one who read anything that was in that folder, and I didn't read most of it. I only gave Willow the address." Buffy moved closer and pushed everything she could across their connection.

Faith sighed heavily and leaned into Buffy. "So, what do I need to know?" Buffy breathed an immense sigh of relief as she felt Faith's anger melting away.

The sound of an arriving ambulance interrupted Willow before she could answer.

Before Buffy knew what was happening, Faith had one of the EMTs pinned against the side of the ambulance by his shoulders.

"Faith? Oh my god! I can't… I'm so sorry. She said... I shouldn't have... I didn't... I should have helped you… " The man, who was easily twice her size, didn't try to resist or fight. He began to tremble and cry as he blubbered his apologies over and over.

Faith slowly lowered the man to the ground. Buffy looked on in horror, thoughts of what must have happened between this man, and Faith churning her insides.

Faith left the man who had dropped to the ground. "Faith? What did he do to you?" Buffy asked quietly, more than a little terrified of the answer.

Faith shook her head, "nothing." Buffy forced her to look her in the eyes, and Faith sighed. "Really, he didn't do anything to me."

The woman who was not Faith's mother began to cackle. "Don't lie to her Faith. Everyone knows how easily you gave yourself away."

Faith didn't acknowledge what the woman said. She just turned her back on the woman and began walking towards the entrance of the house. Buffy was too confused and shocked to do anything but follow her. Willow and Tara doing the same.

"Faith! You can't do this! They will leave you just like everyone else! You know I'm the only one you can count on!" Faith's not-mother began to wail from the back of the ambulance. Faith only waved her hand dismissively and continued to head to the house.

In a flash, the woman had broken free of the EMT attempting to bandage her hand. She leaped off her feet to tackle Faith, which didn't work at all. Faith slowly turned while the woman beat on her shoulders, ripping open the bandages and smearing blood everywhere. Faith gripped the woman's forearms and held them still while her body thrashed pointlessly.

"How are you not broken?! I broke you! You should be dead!" The woman is screaming, spit flying from her rabid mouth.

Buffy couldn't believe that it didn't occur to any of them that something evil could have been behind Faith's tormented childhood. Of course, none of them had any idea how bad it had been. She still didn't know. But seeing the woman behave this way, it made it fairly obvious that there was more going on than just an abusive, crazy woman.

The woman was still squirming in Faith's grip. They had only used their power once before, and none of them were pleased with the outcome. Buffy knew it was important and that they were meant to use this gift to stop the First from gaining control of the world again it had just been too difficult.

Buffy came closer, putting her hands over Faith's. Tara and Willow moved forward as well, adding their hands to the Slayers'. The woman in Faith's grip began to calm. Faith released her hold, and the woman dropped to her knees, quickly emptying the contents of her stomach. As an additional effect, Willow had healed the woman's hand and other injuries. The only evidence of her grisly wound was the blood that still coated both her's and Faith's shirts.

The woman began to whimper, dropping all the way to the ground and curling into a ball.

Buffy had to hold her tongue. She still didn't know all that this woman had done, seeing her suffering brought her some satisfaction that she knew she shouldn't be focusing on. None of this was about this woman, it was about Faith and helping her heal.

After a few moments, the EMT approached and dragged the unresponsive woman away.

Faith returned her attention to the house and motioned for the others to follow her.

They were lead through a grand hallway and into a kitchen, Faith moved without pausing to a back door leading them back outside. She walked in silence through what might have been a beautiful flower garden at one point but has long since fallen into disrepair.

They came upon a small shack, there were no windows, and the door hung slightly askew. Boards had been nailed haphazardly all around it, possibly as reinforcement. It was taking all of Buffy's willpower to keep her emotional shields up. She knew Faith wouldn't want to feel any pity or sadness. It was made easier by the fact that mostly what she felt was furious anger.

"After my father left, it was decided that I wasn't allowed in the house anymore. So this is where I lived." Faith said quietly as she stood in front of the small structure.

Faith pulled the door to the shack open and stepped inside.

"Maybe we should wait out here?" Tara suggests, holding Willow back.

Faith looks back at them and nods.

The witches wait in the garden while Buffy follows Faith into the small wooden building. Buffy was extremely nervous about what she was going to find inside. She was trying not to probe Faith's feelings, but her stoic and calm demeanor was starting to freak her out.

The interior of the shack was mostly bare, containing only a small cot and a wooden stool. The floor was worn down, showing wear patterns from small feet which must have paced endlessly in this cramped space. She also noted warn sections on the wall, where tiny fists must have beat against it. Buffy hadn't acknowledged the lock she had seen on the outside of the door. Now it hit her. Faith had been kept locked in this small space, unable to do anything but pace and punch the walls to exhaustion. Her heart felt like it was going to break into tiny pieces.  _ How could anyone treat a child like this? I know she was being influenced by the First Evil, but this is beyond what I could have imagined. How is Faith sane at all? _

Faith moved to the side of the cot and pried up a board. Retrieving a few books and a small race car.

"I never went to school. I wouldn't even know how to read if one of the caretakers she had hired hadn't snuck these in for me. These were the only things I managed to hide from her. Anything she found she would take, first making a show of destroying whatever it was." Faith sat down on the stool and looked at the items thoughtfully. "I don't even know how many of them there were. She would wait until they showed some sign that they were starting to care about me, and then they would disappear. She'd tell me that they decided I wasn't worth the trouble. No matter how much money she offered them, that they couldn't be bothered to spend time with me."

Buffy swallowed hard, she wasn't prepared for this. She was so angry, angry at everyone. Remembering now how the keepers said forces had been against Faith since she was born. Which meant that they knew about this. They knew and didn't tell them. If they had known about this before, they could have helped Faith through this without any of them having to live through the hell of the previous week. She couldn't focus on that, it was selfish to be angry at them. She had to be strong, she had to put aside her anger and give Faith all her love and support.

"How did you survive all this?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I did." Buffy's heart cracks with pain at the sadness in Faith's voice. She wishes she had any idea what to say. Faith needed help, and Buffy had no idea how to give it to her.

Buffy wraps Faith in a hug. "I hate that this happened to you."

"I think one of the keepers must have been helping me. I think she used to come to me and try to tell me everything that was happening wasn't my fault. That I was special. It kept me sane most of the time, I think. When I finally ran away, I couldn't hear her anymore." Faith froze, as some realization seemed to hit her.

"Faith? What happened?" Buffy moved closer, but Faith wouldn't look at her. Buffy couldn't feel her anymore, she screamed and dropped to her knees at the loss. It was even worse than before, even the basic slayer connection she had always felt was gone.

"Buffy?" Tara was in the doorway. Buffy looked over at her with tears in her eyes.

"She figured out the keeper was helping her and then she vanished. I can't feel her at all anymore."

Tara moved closer to Faith, grabbing her face and forcing her vacant eyes to look into Tara's. "Faith, I need you to listen. To really hear me." She stared into the slayer's eyes, but Faith did not respond. "The source of all evil, across all hell dimensions has been trying to stop you, to kill you for your entire life. Do you have any idea what that means?"

Faith blinked, some comprehension finally showing on her face. Buffy lept up and wrapped her arms tightly around her. Tears of joy as she was able to feel Faith's energy again.

**Faith**

"Forces for good may have helped you survive, but they had to. Nobody could have survived what you did without some help. Were you supposed to defend yourself against murder when you were 5?"

"But..."

"No, but. You still don't get it. There are rules, but evil cheats. The forces for good broke the rules to keep you alive. They kept you alive and gave you a second chance to make things right. They don't do that for everyone. If you were evil or worthless, or whatever terrible thing you seem convinced that you are - they never would have done that. They would never have bothered to keep you alive or to give you a second chance!" Faith is surprised to see the normally calm Tara angry at her.

"The world needs you in it, Faith." Tara says, "You are the most powerful weapon for good that there has ever been. You're not alone. You don't have to do this alone. All you have to do is listen and accept the truth."

Faith closed her eyes, feeling the love and support radiating from Buffy and Tara. She wanted everything Tara was saying to be true. She even knew that it was true.

She felt warmth pouring from the ring on her pinky, and she could hear it talking to her. " _ You are not broken. You are not worthless. You are made of love and magic. Believe it." _

She finally remembered how she knew that voice. It was the same voice and feeling that would constantly try to remind her that the things that were happening weren't her fault. It was the same warmth and comfort she felt around the keepers, and now she recognized that same feeling coming from Tara.

She squeezed Buffy close, gently wiped her tears away and kissed her. "I'm so sorry."

"Did something happen? I know things have been hard lately, but they were going to get better. I thought you were happy." Buffy's voice was a whisper, and it broke Faith's heart that she had caused so much pain in the woman that she loved so much.

"I am happy, B. Completely." She sighed and looked around the cramped space. "Let's get the hell out of here, and I'll explain."


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Warning - There are depictions of physical and mental abuse in this chapter - starting at the xxxxx until the end of the chapter. It is not necessary to read them to follow the rest of the story.

**Faith - 1 week ago**

Faith sat at the bar, fiddling with the label on the beer she had been nursing for the past 20 minutes. She had another 40 minutes to kill before she'd be allowed back into the house. Buffy and Willow had kicked her out so they could study for finals. Faith didn't mind being sent away, she was really just waiting for Spike so they could begin patrol.

Life had become stressful for Faith since Joyce died. She took on everything she could to make sure Buffy and Dawn were taken care of and as happy as possible under the circumstances. It was hard, but she didn't mind. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her family.

She was looking forward to the summer. Buffy would have a break from classes, and Faith was cutting back her hours at work. They were even planning on going away for the weekend, just the two of them. She was hopeful that things were about to get better if they could manage to survive this next week.

A man sidled up to her, and she inwardly groaned at what she knew what was coming next.

"Hey there, gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?"

She froze at the voice. She remembered it, but it took her a few moments to recall from where.

She slowly turned to look at the man, hoping to keep her face neutral. She was just going to be a girl turning down a drink, nothing more. Nothing to worry about.

"Nah, thanks. I was just about to leave." She starts to push her stool away from the bar, but a hand on her arm stopped her.

"Don't leave yet, Faith. We have so much to talk about."

"Do I know you?" She did know him, she knew exactly who he was, but she hadn't met him this time around, so she wasn't supposed to know. This was David, he was the Mayor's son, and in her previous life, they had been enemies. He hated how close she was to the Mayor, the few times they interacted near the end she had been able to feel the rage pouring off of him.  _ I should have realized it was him who trapped us in that prison dimension.  _ It all seemed so obvious to her now. He would have provided the poison she used on Angel. Whether he planned to just get her killed, or if he really intended to imprison her, she couldn't be sure.

He smiled in response, supreme confidence oozing from him. "No, you don't know me. Not yet, anyway. Maybe you should come home with me? We can get to know each other better." He licked his lips as he eyed her in a very unpleasant way.

Faith had to control the urge to vomit. She had done her best to avoid him when she was working for the Mayor. He skeeved her out then, always leering at her and making suggestive comments. Even at her lowest point, she couldn't bring herself to flirt back with this disgusting man. He reached over and began to stroke her thigh. The contact froze her, she couldn't move, couldn't react.

"That's right, Faith. I know what you like." He leaned in closer, his face inches from hers, and she couldn't move. Every part of her was begging her to move, but her body wouldn't listen. "Now you're going to come with me, nice and easy."

She was screaming in her head, but she couldn't fight what was happening to her. She knew there was a way out of this, but she couldn't remember what it was. She couldn't remember anything, she slowly stood and followed the man out of the Bronze. Following him without question into the back of a van. Once she sat down, she felt a sharp pain in her neck, and then she was out.

When she wakes up, she's strapped to a table in a very familiar way. Strong metal bands holding her completely still. She could barely remember who she was, but she knew this had happened before. She knew she wouldn't be able to escape.

Starting to panic, she thrashed against her bonds. She knew she had something that mattered, a reason to break free. If she could remember what it was, this would all be over.

"Shhh... calm down." The man gently ran his hand through her hair. "We're just going to take a little stroll down memory lane. Then I'll let you go." His words and disgusting leer did nothing to calm her down. She continued to thrash, and he frowned. "No matter. Fight all you want. It won't help you." He whispered something she couldn't understand into her ear. Agonizing pain shot through her as she's assaulted by memories.

Her body arched impossibly against her bindings, and she screamed. Memories of her mother's twisted face filling her mind. She could feel herself coming undone. A face filled with disappointment, telling her over and over that she'd screwed up. That she was worthless trash that should never have been born.

She could barely track individual thoughts as she was attacked, her mind cracking apart.

xxxxx

She's alone in her "room," and she is freezing. The only clothes she has on is a small pair of shorts and a tank top. She knows she has to get up and get moving. It's the only way not to be freezing. She takes purposeful steps back and forth. Punctuating every length of the room with a two-punch combo to the wall in front of her. Grunting at the pain that shoots through her hands. She doesn't care, the pain helps keep her warm.

xxxxx

She's sitting at the kitchen table, a man is sitting next to her and grinning.

"Do you like the dolly I brought you, Faith?" His breath is warm and foul. She does her best not to cringe. She's not allowed to cringe.

"Yes, thank you." She makes sure her grin is wide and toothy, just like it should be. Just like the sweet, happy little girl that she is, should grin when a nice man gives her something.

"Good, I'm glad you like it." He places his hand gently on her thigh. She doesn't react, she's not allowed to react. Her mother will know if she does. She always knows. She focuses on the doll, knowing that when this man leaves the doll will leave too. She doesn't actually like the doll. It confuses her, and she's not sure what she's supposed to do with it. She likes it when they bring her food. Food she understands.

"Come sit on my lap while you play, that way, I can see how happy it makes you." This doesn't make any sense to her, how can he see how happy it makes her if she's on his lap? She doesn't ask, she simply slides over and lets him position her where he wants. As soon as she is on the man's lap, he groans and shoves her away. He clutches at his stomach and runs out of the room.

Faith has no idea what just happened, mostly she's just glad the man is gone. Though she didn't get any food, and she's sure she is going to be in trouble. She keeps her eyes focused on the doll. Waiting for her mother to return and let her know if she did it right this time.

"Faith!" The doll is ripped out of her hands. She's not surprised. Of course, she did it wrong, she always does. "Look at me!"

Faith looks up, keeping her face soft and controlled. She doesn't even wince when the dolls head is ripped off and thrown across the room. "You fucked it up again! I really thought we had a chance with this one." Her mother sighed dramatically, hands on her hips. The remains of the doll dropped to the table. "I just don't know, Faith. I try so hard. I don't know what to do with you."

Faith knows not to apologize, that just makes things worse. She's never figured out what she is supposed to do, but silence usually leads to the least amount of pain. Usually.

"Say something! Don't you care about what you're doing to me!? I give you everything, and you can't even be polite to my friends!"

"I... thought I was polite. What did I do?"

"If you don't know, I can't tell you." Her mother sighs, shaking her head in disappointment.

Faith frowns, who was going to tell her if her mother wouldn't?

"Just get out of my face."

She paused at the door for a moment, it was raining. It was raining hard and cold. She knew the raindrops would sting against her skin. Suddenly she's flying through the air and out into the yard. Her back hurting from the kick it had received. She doesn't react, only picks herself up and doesn't look back.

Even though the raindrops sting and freeze her, it brings her a little relief. It washes the grime off her body, she gets to feel a little cleaner for her trudge to her room. The other advantage is she knows her mother won't follow. She can take as long as she wants to make her way back to her prison. Once she gets under the trees, the rain is a little less painful. She is still freezing and can only enjoy her freedom for so long before she forces herself inside and into the somewhat warmer space.

xxxxxx

She's at the table again. Her mother sitting by her side. Her hand resting on Faith's tiny thigh. A woman she doesn't know across the table smiling at her. She has a stack of papers, and she's reading through them.

"I don't know why they called you. Faith is well taken care of and perfectly happy here. Aren't you, Faith?"

Her mother smiles down at her, and Faith brightly smiles back and nods. Her mother explained that this woman was here to steal her. If Faith didn't act perfectly, she would be taken away, and if that happened, her mother would be very sad. She couldn't allow that, she wanted nothing more than to make her mother happy.

"Yes, well. We have received several complaints. Why isn't she in school?" The woman asks, and Faith can tell she doesn't actually care. This isn't the first visit like this. They come and ask a few questions and then leave. Faith doesn't understand why they come or what they want. She only knows she has to be perfect.

"Faith is very special. She doesn't do well with other children. I hire the best I can to educate her." Her mother sighs.

Faith tries not to react. She doesn't think she's ever met any other children. She knows she can't speak up, the tight grip on her leg, letting her know to stay calm and quiet, a happy grin plastered on her face.

"Is that right, Faith? You don't do well with other children?" The woman is looking at her strange, she doesn't know what that look means, but she knows she doesn't like it. She only nods in response.

"As you can see, she has difficulty meeting new people. She doesn't talk much. She sees a therapist twice a week to try and help."

"Yes, I see that in the report." The woman sighs and slams her folder shut. "It seems like everything is in order here. We'll check in again in six months." The woman leaves, and her mother follows her. Faith doesn't move. She knows not to move.

Suddenly she's dangling in the air, her shoulder straining as her mother holds her by one hand. "What did you do? What did you say?"

"I didn't…" She doesn't understand. She was sure everything went perfectly.

"You must have, someone complained! Which one of them did you complain to!?"

"I…" she had no idea what to say. She was focused on not crying. Her shoulder was slipping out, she could feel it. She needs to get down, she needed it to stop.

Her mother huffed and threw her to the ground. "Get back to your room."

Her mother followed her this time, and she had to struggle not to react. She knew what was going to happen.

She wasn't moving fast enough, and suddenly she was sprawled on the ground. Quickly she scrambled to her feet and practically ran the rest of the way. She wasn't at all surprised to hear the padlock click shut behind her. She dropped to her knees and waited. When she heard her mother's footsteps fade away, she slowly stood and put her hand against the wall. Pushing with all her strength and trying not to scream as she worked her shoulder back into place.

xxxxxx

A woman had come, she didn't know how long ago. The woman told her she was special. She told her she had to run away. Faith didn't understand any of this. Why would she run away? And where would she run to? She only nodded and smiled, that's what she was supposed to do.

"Maybe this will help." The woman smiled and handed her a small oblong item. "Keep it safe. Keep yourself safe." Again Faith nodded and smiled, "you were meant for great things. You don't belong here." Her voice was low and soft.

"I think it's time for you to go now." Her mother appeared in the doorway. Faith could see the fury building and was filled with terror that she couldn't show.

The nice woman slowly stood, looking back at Faith, distress painted on her face. Faith had learned to read people. She knew how they were going to treat her from the look in her eyes. This woman wanted to help her, Faith knew that meant she'd never see her again.

Faith sat and waited for her punishment. Things went very wrong this time, they always did with the nice ones. Her mother didn't mask her fury at all with the visitor, she had never done that before.

Faith sat for a very long time, she didn't know how long it was. She looked at the small item in her hand and didn't know what to do with it, she knew she wanted to keep it, but didn't know how to hide it. She did the only thing she could think of and slid it into the waistband of her shorts.

When her mother finally returned, she didn't approach Faith. "Get out."

Faith quickly scrambled to her feet, moving as quickly to her room as possible. Grateful for the reprieve and the hope that she'd be able to keep the item. She sat in the dark shed and waited, it had never been this easy before. Her stomach was in knots as she wondered what was going to happen. Finally, she heard the approaching footsteps and the padlock click shut.

Her mother sighed heavily from the other side of the door. "I think that will be your last visitor for a while. She told me what you did. Why can't you behave? Why can't you do anything right?" Another heavy sigh and the sound of footsteps fading away.

Faith didn't know what to do. No visitors wasn't exactly a bad thing, except that meant she wasn't leaving her "room" again anytime soon. It meant no chance to go outside, no chance to clean herself up at all. It also meant no food.

She pulled the oblong item out of her waistband and looked it over carefully. She had no idea what it was, but she hoped it would somehow make things better. The surface was smooth and warn, it had three layers sandwiched together, one small strip of metal sticking out slightly on one side. She pulled at it with her nail and was delighted when it responded by sliding out further. She tested the tip and edge. It was not very sharp, but for what she had in mind it didn't need to be.

She had previously managed to find one loose board on the floor of her shed, she stored the few items she'd been able to hold on to, as well as a few scraps of food. She pulled out the food and took stock. Two pieces of candy and a small chunk of bread. She sighed, at least the mice hadn't gotten to it yet. She replaced the items and added the knife. It wasn't time. She had to be sure her mother was truly leaving her alone before she got to work.

xxxxxxxx

She didn't know how long she'd been locked up, she had no way to track time. Based on the ache in her stomach, she guessed it was several weeks. Her eyes burned against the bright sunlight once the door was thrown open. "Get up."

She quickly scampered to her feet and headed outside. Trying not to bask in the sunlight as she's pushed towards the house.

"Clean yourself up, you smell horrible."

She's shoved into the small bathroom and quickly does her best to get clean in the sink and slides on the dress that was left for her. The dress hangs off of her, she was already extremely skinny, but now it's even more pronounced. Knowing she's going to be punished for how she looks, she frowns. There's nothing she can do.

When she entered the kitchen, a man is seated at the table. A plate of food waiting for her. Her eyes are locked on the meal, she fights desperately not to groan and lick her lips as she imagines what the food will taste like. A large sandwich and a glass of dark liquid that she hopes is some kind of soda. She stays calm, can't let her excitement show. Her stomach betrays her and gurgles in anticipation.

The man giggles at the sound, "go ahead, Faith. It's for you."

She quickly moves to sit beside the man and begins working on the sandwich. She's developed the ability to devour massive quantities of food without getting sick. The man watches with amusement as she inhales every scrap of the sandwich. His hand is on her thigh and gently stroking. She takes a sip of the soda and has to repress her grin. The sugar filling her with brief euphoria. Once all the food and drink are gone, she sits back in her seat and waits for what usually comes next.

The stroking on her leg intensifies the man is leaning closer, his face inches from her face.

"Do you like that?"

She goes to respond in the affirmative as she knows she's supposed to. But when she opens her mouth to speak all that comes out is the remains of everything she had just consumed. Her head starts to swim, and she's laying on the ground covered in vomit.

"What the hell? Did you try to drug her?" Her mother enters, screaming at the man. "I told you not to do that!"

"I thought it would help."

"Get the fuck out!" The woman screams at him, and he shuffles away.

Faith is being dragged out by one arm, the same arm, always her left. She struggles to tense her muscles, hoping to keep the joint intact this time. She's too weak to have much success, she lets out a small whimper as it releases.

"Stand up!"

She drags herself to her feet, holding her limp left arm with her right. She's barely able to keep her eyes open and is completely shocked when she's hit with the cold spray from the hose.

"Stay still!" Her mother screeches at her, and she does her best to comply. "Raise your arms."

She slowly does, raising her left with her right. Stifling a scream as the misplaced joint resists the motion.

The hose cuts off, and she has to fight with all she has to stay upright. Her mother is now in her face, holding her chin. "Look at me, you little shit!"

Faith opens her eyes, focusing as best she can.

"I will figure out what is protecting you! You can't keep this up forever!"

Faith has no idea what that means. It sure doesn't feel like anything is protecting her. Her mother's grip is cruel on her chin, lifting with enough force to make her stand on her toes. With one last menacing squeeze on her face, her mother lets her go, pushing her towards the shed. Following behind, adding helpful shoves to her back whenever Faith starts to slow down. She's thrown to the ground, landing on her face, unable to protect herself from the impact.

The door slams shut, and the lock slides into place.

This isn't the first time she's felt like this. She knew it would pass, she just needed to rest. She laid on the floor, breathing slowly and carefully. Her shoulder still needs to be reset, she knew the longer she waited, the worse it would be.

xxxxxxx

She's laying under her bed with the small knife, working on the last nail that needs to come out. Ever so slowly and carefully wiggling the blade under the head of the nail. She's already broken the tip off and broken another small chunk out of the blade. But she's almost there, one more nail and she'll have removed enough boards so that she can escape.

She's so focused on her work that she doesn't hear the approach of her mother. The door flies open, and she freezes, holding her breath and very quietly placing the knife in the corner of the shed.

"Get out here!"

She slides out from under the bed. Her mother grabs her roughly and shoves her outside without saying anything.

She prepares herself as she knows she should and waits in the kitchen. She's surprised when a young man enters. She's never seen anyone even close to her age before. He looks excited when he sees her. He smiles at her, and she smiles back. "Hello, Faith. I'm Mark."

"Hello." She replies, keeping her smile.

He sits down across from her at the table and opens a bag. Pulling out several items and placing them in front of her. "Your mother said you might like to have lunch with me, and then maybe you could show me your room."

She's mesmerized by the smells of the items in front of her. She's never smelled anything so good in her life. He opens the wrapper of the first item and slides it over to her. She can't help but moan at the first bite of the burger. She finishes it quickly while noticing how the boy is watching her closely.

"Guess you were hungry. Do you want another one?"

Her eyes light up, and she nods. He laughs as she inhales the next burger the same way. Once the food is gone, she can see that he's nervous. She then realizes what he said earlier about seeing her room. No one had ever seen her room before, and she's not sure if that's really what he meant.

Her mother appears in the doorway, her arms crossed and a nasty scowl on her face.

"Are you ready to show me your room now?" Mark asks, standing up from the table.

Faith looks to her mother and sees the nod, not understanding but going along with it anyway.

She can see a look of surprise from Mark when she heads towards the back door, but she doesn't understand why.

"Your room is outside?"

She doesn't understand the question, she just keeps walking.

"Holy shit." He gasps once he sees the shed. "This is your room?"

She looks at him and frowns, "did I do something wrong?"

"What? No… I just.. you live in here?"

She can see her mother glaring at them from the kitchen windows, "come inside."

"No… this isn't right."

"You have to. She's watching." He reluctantly follows. She closes the door and sits down on the bed and watches him pace. She's never seen anything like this and isn't sure what to do. She knows it's going to upset her mother. Her mother sent this boy here for a reason, and if he doesn't say she was perfect, her mother will be upset.

"I can't be in here. This isn't right."

"You can't tell her. You can't tell her I messed up again."

"What will she do?"

Faith only shakes her head, "she'll be upset."

The boy continues to pace, "I don't understand. I heard things about you, and I thought… I thought this was… I should have known. I should have known this wasn't right."

Faith watches him and has no idea what he's talking about or why he seems so upset.

He finally stops pacing and moves towards her. "I'm going to get you help. I'm going to get you out of here." He reaches for her hand and leads her back out of the shed. She's confused but doesn't fight him.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm getting her the hell out of here!" Mark shouts and attempts to pull Faith past the woman.

"Is that right?" Her mother stands in the doorway, with her arms folded over her chest. "Is that what you want, Faith? Do you want to leave?"

Faith slips out of Marks grip and backs away. "No, I don't want to leave."

Mark turns back to her, "you have to leave. This isn't right!"

"No. I don't want to leave." She stands her ground, and Mark shakes his head in frustration.

xxxxxxxxx

Faith had finally managed to pry up the final nail and remove enough boards so she could crawl out from under the shed. She had crawled out of the shed a few times, never venturing very far, just testing the idea of the small amount of freedom it gave her.

Tonight was different, yesterday she had a new visitor. Another young one, like Mark. But as soon as she saw his eyes, she knew he wasn't like Mark at all. He wasn't going to be shocked by seeing her room, he wasn't going to want to help her. He was going to take something from her, and she knew she couldn't let that happen. She had no idea how she was going to stop it, but she knew she had to. She had the small knife, but she didn't think that would be enough. It was never very sharp and didn't even have a point anymore.

Her only idea was that maybe there was something in the kitchen that would help. If she could hide something bigger and sharper in her room, she might be able to defend herself against him. Not knowing when he'd be back, she had to act fast.

She crawled out from under the shed and cautiously made her way to the house. Stopping and holding her breath at every sound. The house was dark and completely still. She stood outside the window and waited for any sign of movement. She slowly opened the door, just enough so she could slide in. She made her way to the counter, walking on her toes, trying to be as quiet as possible. Just as she's about to reach for the knife in the butcher block, she finds herself violently yanked away. Her left arm impossibly wrenched behind her back.

"How the hell did you get out!?" Her mother is screaming incoherently as she drags her back outside. Faith has already lost the battle to keep her shoulder from falling out of the socket. In the past, her mother would let go when this happened, not this time. This time she continued to pull her by the damaged arm. Faith had at least managed to keep her feet, she knew if she fell, she would be dragged, and if that happened, her shoulder might never recover.

She's thrown to the ground and watched as her mother checks the shed all over trying to figure out how she escaped. Luckily, the darkness and the small bushes that grew by the base of the shed concealed any evidence of Faith's escape. She had even managed to think of replacing the boards as she left, leaving no visible sign of her exit.

Her mother screamed in frustration and shoved her back inside.

Faith lay on the ground and tried to work her arm back into position. It hurt too much, she couldn't do it. Even when she thought the socket was lined up, it would only slip back out.

The door flies open, and her mother is screaming at her again. "You are never getting out of here! Never!" The door slams shut again, and shortly after, the hammering begins. It lasts for hours. Faith can't even form a thought. The relentless pounding begins to feel like it's coming from inside her own skull. She begins to scream, needing something else to listen to.

She doesn't even remember retrieving the knife. But suddenly she has it, it was challenging to open only using her right hand, but she finally does. She tests the edge, it's slightly sharp where the tip was broken off. She presses it to her thigh and begins to dig.

  
  



	33. Chapter 33

**Faith - 1 week ago continued**

Faith shot up, the metal bands that had been holding her no longer keeping her strapped to the table. She looked around the space and frowned.  _ I'm in the fucking Initiative again. I knew we should have blown this place up. _ She stands up from the table and stretches her neck, rolling it around and grinning as it cracks. Her body feels different, her skin tight, almost like she hadn't been wearing it for a while.

She didn't remember what happened. She had been at the Bronze, waiting for something. Then she was here. She knew who she was, she knew she should be on her way home by now, but she didn't want to go there. She could feel a warm buzzing in the back of her head trying to call her home. Scowling, she buried that feeling, blocked it out, and focused on making her way out of the empty underground fortress.

She didn't run into anyone on her way out, and all the doors had all been left open. She frowned as she tried to remember how she got down here, she knew it was important, but couldn't find the memory.

She climbed out of the tunnel and into the night. Taking a deep breath and smiling at the cool night air.

"Faith? Where have you been?" She stops and does her best not to run at the voice calling to her. The voice was filled with love and concern. It's causing Faith's entire body to scream and ache.

She turned to face Buffy.

"You said you wanted me out for the night, so I went out." She grimaced and moved away from the gentle touch that was filling her with comfort. There was a whisper of a voice in her head, the voice was screaming, but she could barely hear it.

"I...I thought you understood. We were just studying. You could have come home hours ago."

Just looking at Buffy's face made Faith's skin crawl, the hurt she saw reaching into her and trying to take hold. The whispering on the edge of her consciousness, begging her to tell Buffy what was wrong. To beg for help. The whispering wasn't loud enough, she wouldn't let herself hear it.

"Whatever." Faith shrugged and started walking.

"Are you going to come home now?"

"Going to finish patrol." She left a stunned Buffy standing behind her. She could feel the confusion and pain coming off her in waves. It made her stop and sigh as she battled the conflict inside her. "Do you want to come with me?"

"No.. I have to get back. I have an early test tomorrow, and Dawn is alone."

Faith shrugged, trying not to show her relief that Buffy wasn't going to stick around. "Guess, I'll see you later." Ignoring the tears forming in Buffy's eyes, she stalked off towards the nearest cemetery.

When she finally came home, she stood in the doorway of the room she had been sharing with Buffy for over two years. The blonde had been crying, her face was puffy, and she held tissues in her curled fist. Faith sighed and ran her fingers through her hair before heading towards the shower.

She watched the sleeping form for a few more minutes before sliding into her side of the bed. She was very careful not to make too much movement, but it didn't matter. Buffy sensed her, and even though she didn't wake up, she did turn and wrap herself around Faith.

Faith froze under the contact, and she laid as still as she could. The longer she laid there, the worse she felt. Her entire body throbbed and itched. She had to get away. She didn't belong here. Ever so slowly, she extricated herself from Buffy's arms. Grimacing as she heard Buffy whimper and reach for her in her sleep.

Faith frowned and headed to the basement. She tried to find herself. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She felt empty and lost, but she didn't think she should feel that way. She heard the whispers again, wondering what they were trying to tell her, but not caring enough to try to listen. On her way to the basement, she notices pictures of her and her friends lining the walls. She picked one up and tried to remember the day it was taken.

She, Dawn, and Buffy were huddled together and smiling. Faith traced the line of her smile in the photo, hoping to recapture the feeling she must have felt, but it wasn't there. She was empty. Nothing made sense, she knew this was her life, but it didn't feel like it belonged to her.

She could remember what happened, but it made no sense.  _ How could I be in love with B? And why the hell have I been working so hard to take care of her and her bratty little sister?  _ She frowned at the questions she couldn't answer, replacing the photo and heading to the basement.

They had set up a little training area with a punching bag and a wooden training dummy. The training dummy received the brunt of her frustrations. She beat on it furiously, and without grace, her hands began to ache and bleed, it only made her punch harder.

She finally passed out on the small cot against the wall, only to be shaken awake a short time later by a very annoyed Dawn. "Are you taking me to school? You said you were going to take me! I'm going to be late!"

"Dawn! Leave Faith alone. I'll take you," Buffy called down the stairs.

"Fine!" Dawn screeched and headed upstairs, shooting Faith a dirty look on her way.

Faith sat up and rubbed her head. Her entire body ached, her knuckles were caked with blood. She grinned at them and peeled off one of the scabs, smiling at the unpleasant sensation and the fresh blood that bubbled up.

"Will I see you after work today?" Buffy was suddenly downstairs with her.

Faith stood and moved past her without looking at her or answering. She heard Buffy sigh deeply as she got to the top of the stairs, pausing for a moment. That small voice was telling her that she cared about Buffy, that she didn't want to hurt her. "Sure."

She had no intention of going to work or meeting Buffy later. She wasn't going to stay in this house though, whether or not Buffy would be here. She headed out the kitchen door and tried to decide what to do. She found herself in a familiar alley, in a place she hadn't visited in a while, at least not alone.

"Willy." She called out as she dropped herself onto the stool.

"Surprised to see you here without your girl, Slayer. Kinda early, isn't it?"

"Shut the fuck up and give me that bottle." Willy complied, sliding her a not very clean glass and a bottle of whiskey.

She poured a healthy amount into the glass and downed it, refilling her glass before the burn even began to subside in her throat.

"Faith?" A familiar voice called to her. She growled in response. Just wanting to be left alone, she got up from the bar without looking, heading out into the sun where she knew Spike couldn't follow.

As the whiskey warmed her belly, she started to walk. She found herself in front of the apartment building that was hers in another life. Standing just under the rooftop where she had once fallen. She rubbed her hand over the scar on her stomach, anger filling her as she remembered that day. Without thinking, she walked into the building and kicked down the door that could've been hers.

"How did you find me?" The man sitting on the couch stutters as he jumps to his feet.

She grinned, she wasn't looking for him, she had forgotten all about him. But now she remembers, not what he recently did. She doesn't know about that, she remembers before. She remembers him leering at her and trying to touch her. She remembers his voice taunting her from her time altered prison.

"You. I remember you." Her voice slurred by the mostly full bottle of whiskey she had finished.

"How… you can't... " She loved the terror she sees in his eyes.

"Say? Are you human? I know your daddy wasn't." She crosses her arms and taps her lip thoughtfully as she looks him over. Normally, she'd be able to tell if someone were demonic or not, but her senses were dulled by the whiskey and the chaos in her mind.

"What… my dad... how do you…"

"Jesus, finish a fucking sentence." She chucks the empty bottle of whiskey at him, hitting him squarely in the stomach. He bends over and groans. "Human, are you a human?" She's a little unsure of why she cares. She's killed humans before, why did it matter now? It mattered, though. She knew that it did.

"Yes. I am human." He answered, shaking in fear.

"You better not be lying to me." She grabbed him by the throat and threw him onto the couch.

"You're... not supposed to…"

She moves to him quickly and punches him in the face. "What did I say about finishing sentences?"

He only blubbers, unable to form words through his split lip. His inability to speak amuses her and she gets an idea of what to do with him. She forces him to stand, dragging him to the front door.

"Come on, let's go."

"No.. I.. no.. Please. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Hurt me? You never hurt me you worthless asshole. I just don't like you." He winced and tried to pull away from her. "I'm going to give you a chance. It'll be fair so it won't be wrong when I kill you. Well, sorta fair, anyway." She grinned wickedly as she thought about her plan.

"Kill me?"

"Just shut up." She hauled him out of the apartment and towards the basement. She still remembered the way into the tunnels. She took several practiced turns, having no trouble following the path she had used so many times before in a different life. After several minutes she found the ladder she was looking for and pushed the man up ahead of her.

Technically, she had never been here, but she wasn't worried, she knew the routine.

Holding the man tightly by the back of his neck, she banged on the door. A window slid open, and she forced the man's face into the opening.

"David? What are you doing here so early?" The guard opened the door without noticing the distress on his face or that he was being held captive.

David squealed as Faith pushed him past the guard.

"Hey! You can't come in here!" The guard grabbed for Faith, but she caught him first, twisting his arm until his elbow snapped with a satisfying pop.

"Relax, I'm just here to play with my new friend. I'm gonna put a real good show on for you too. Might wanna tell your friends." She winks as she releases the arm and stalks further into the club.

It's dark, and the music is loud. It's early, so it's not very crowded. She frowns a little. She wants a crowd.

The manager stalks up to her, a demon with yellow skin and blue horns. "Slayer. What… ah, what can we do for you?"

She shoves David at him. "Get him a buddy or two, so he has a chance."

David quickly moves to hide behind the demon, thinking he'll be protected. Faith only widens her smile. David might be in with the demon crowd, but she knows that this club owner will care more about profits than keeping him safe.

"No problem. How much time do you need?" The demon motioned to his cohorts, who grabbed David and began dragging him away.

"Whenever you can get a good crowd going." Faith smirks. "I'll just be at the bar."

David screams as he's pulled into a cage. "You can't do this!"

A few hours later she's standing in the cage, waiting for her opponents to appear. She stands calmly, swaying slightly from all she had drunk, no weapons visible in her hands. The hum of the crowd and the pulsing beat of the music infusing her. This was something all parts of her agreed on, she was built to fight demons.

This fight club had been her refuge when she worked for the Mayor. He wouldn't allow her to slay, so this place was her only opportunity to sate her need to kill demons.

Two vampires, a polgara demon, a demon with thick, scaly skin, and David appear through the opening on the other side of the cage.

She grins, not even caring at the lopsided odds. The four demons surround her, while David cowers in the corner. She stands still, waiting for someone to make the first move. It's one of the vampires, she ducks under his attack, punching him several times before staking him with a stake that wasn't there a second ago.

The crowd goes wild in frustration at the ease of her first kill. She turns to the crowd and grins at their displeasure. While she was distracted, the polgara demon managed a blow to her back, which sent her stumbling into the side of the cage.

She quickly spun around as he attempted to stab her, she broke off the spike and jammed it in his eye. He howled and backed away from her while pawing at his face, taking a few steps before he dropped to the ground. She was a little disappointed in herself for killing him so quickly. She had promised them a show.

The vampire and remaining demon attacked her together. Striking at her from two sides, many of the hits making it through. She grunted against the pain, an insane smile plastered to her face. She felt a pulse of power from Buffy, and she pushed it away. She didn't want the boost, she didn't want any help.

The crowd was roaring again, sure that the slayer was about to die. Just when it seemed all hope was lost, a flaming sword appeared in her hand and sliced clean through the vampire's neck. Just as quickly, the sword was gone.

The remaining demon stood, frozen in confusion. Faith attacked him with her fists and feet. She was chaotic and unhinged as she struck at him. All of the fluidity and control she had acquired in her fighting style completely lost.

Her assault wasn't doing much damage to his thick hide, and he was managing many serious hits on her. Her left arm hung limply at her side, as her shoulder was dislocated. Blood was pouring from her nose and above her right eye. She grinned wildly, loving every second of it. Reveling in the pain she felt, and the knowledge that she was still going to win.

She hadn't paid any attention to David. Not until she felt the searing pain in her side. He had managed to retrieve the polgara demon's spike and stabbed her in the side with it. She roared in fury, her fiery blade ending the remaining demon before she turned her focus on David.

He dropped the spike and scrambled away from her.

"Stabbing people in the back isn't nice. If you're gonna stab me, you better do it from the front." She scooped the spike up and tossed it to him. He held it in both hands, shaking in terror as she approached.

She held her right arm out to the side, her left still hanging uselessly, "free shot."

The crowd was screaming and chanting for the man to attack. Faith grinned at the look of desperation on David's face. He approached her cautiously. The spike held out in front of him with shaky hands. He got within striking distance, and as soon as he made a move, Faith punched out at his throat. She was irritated at him for all kinds of reasons, but mostly because he had ruined her fun.

He dropped the spike and grasped at his throat. Faith grinned as he gurgled and sputtered before falling to the ground.

xxxxxx

Faith stood under the hot spray of the shower, and she watched the dirt and blood rinse off of her and swirl down the drain. She tugged at the wound at her side, grinning as more blood poured out and traveled down her body to the floor of the shower.

"Faith?"

She has to restrain her groan at the sound of Buffy's voice, now in the bathroom with her.

"Where have you been? You said you were going to meet us after work." The hurt in Buffy's voice is making Faith furious.

"Out."

The curtain is pulled back, and Buffy gasps. "What happened?"

"Slaying."

"You're bleeding. Let me call Willow, she can heal you."

"I'm fine." Faith insists, gritting her teeth.  _ Why did I even come here?!  _ Voices in her head were colliding, a swirl of anger and confusion, mixed with desperation to ask for help.

"You're not fine, at least let me bandage your wound." She pulls away from Buffy's outstretched hand. She knows that touch will soothe her pain, she doesn't want to be soothed. She has no idea why she didn't just go back to her apartment.

Faith slammed the water off and walked out of the shower. Shoving Buffy away from her as she wrapped a towel around herself and strode out of the bathroom.

She went into Buffy's mom's room, a room they hadn't yet started using. Quickly drying herself and throwing her bloody clothes back on. She climbed out of the window and ran off into the night. Ignoring the shouts of her name from the window, focusing on the pain in every part of her body and the warmth of the blood running down her side.

The next day she snuck back into the house. She had waited until she saw Buffy leaving before entering the back door.

"Faith." A cold voice calls to her as soon as she entered.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Red?" Faith growled, furious at letting herself be surprised by Willow.

"What happened to you? Why are you doing this?"

"What this? I'm coming home to get some clothes." Faith shrugged.

"You know what I mean. Why are you ignoring everyone who cares about you?"

Faith laughed, "cares about me? Are you kidding me? Just leave me the fuck alone."

"No! I will not leave you alone. You are my friend, and I care about you. Buffy, Dawn, and Tara care about you." Willow took a step forward. Faith reacted by moving quicker and shoving her to the ground. Faith was back outside before Willow could get back up.

She didn't get very far before she crashed into Buffy, who had been waiting just outside.

"Please tell me what's wrong." Buffy pleads with Faith. "What did I do?"

"Not everything is about you, princess." Faith responds coldly and tries to move past her. Being near Buffy is making her feel things she doesn't want to feel.

"Then what is it about? You can tell me anything, let me help you."

Faith laughs bitterly, "come on, B. You had to know this wasn't going to last. You know what I am. You might have let yourself forget, might have wanted to believe that I could be what you wanted. But you had to know it wasn't real."

"You know that isn't true! What we have is completely real!" Buffy yells back at Faith, who stands smugly with her arms crossed. "Why are you acting like this?"

"I'm not acting like anything. I'm just being me. If you don't like it, then tough shit." Faith held her smug grin, hoping to see pain in Buffy's face.

"Do you like it? Is this what you want?"

The question startles Faith, and she frowns. "I… don't know."

The hope in Buffy's eyes at the response renews her anger.

"I know you're still in there somewhere. Please tell me what you need."

Faith grinned wickedly, bringing forth a very special knife and holding it up for Buffy to see. Buffy's eyes widened in recognition. "What if what I need is to give us matching scars?" She takes a purposeful step towards Buffy. Buffy stood completely still, her lips squeezed into a tight line of determination. Faith pressed the points of the blade to Buffy's stomach. As the weapon began to draw blood, Buffy grabs Faith's wrist, holding it still.

"If I believed that was what you needed, then yes. I would let you scar me. But it's not what you need." Buffy kept her eyes locked with Faith's. "I know you're still in there. I love you, there's nothing you can do to change that."

Faith could feel the pulse of Buffy's unconditional love filling her through their bond. She shrieked at the confusion and pain she was feeling. In an instant, she willed the blade away and ran as fast as she could.

xxxxxxxxx

"Should I heal her?" Willow asks.

"I don't know," Buffy replies, her voice is filled with agony. Faith can't open her eyes. Everything hurts, and she can't move her legs. She moans a little as she tries to open her mouth to tell them to fuck off. Her jaw is dislocated, and it won't respond.

"Tara will be back tomorrow. Maybe she can help."

Faith starts to try harder to get up. The idea of Tara seeing her fills her with fear. She has to get away. Her legs won't respond, and she drops heavily to the floor, smashing her already very damaged face.

"Heal her, I guess. I.. can't…" Buffy stammers and lets her voice trail off.

Warmth spreads through Faith's body, and as soon as she's able, she's on her feet and out the door. Nobody even bothers to call after her this time.

The next day, Faith sneaks back into the house. She's more careful this time, waiting until Buffy is at work before entering the house. She opens the door and sneaks up to their room to grab a change of clothes. She's not sure why she comes back at all. She's earned more than enough money at the demon fight club not to need to. Something keeps pulling her back. A tiny voice that she refuses to listen to is telling her this is where she belongs.

"Faith." Tara's voice calls softly from the doorway.

"Fuck." Faith groans and attempts to get out the window, but it won't open.

"Wait, please. Just two minutes and you can go. I won't try to stop you."

"Any more than you already have?" Faith growls and beats on the window which she guesses must have been magicked closed.

"I know this isn't how you want things to be. Somebody did something to you. You were happy. Don't you remember that? Don't you remember being loved?"

Faith frowns, she doesn't turn to look back at Tara. She stares at the window and wonders which will break first if she smashes her head into it.

"You have to find yourself again. This isn't who you're supposed to be."

"Has it been two minutes yet?" Faith responds, but she felt something shift inside her. Being around Tara feels different, there's something tugging at her. She can feel it trying to change her, to try to make her whole. She's mentally clawing at that feeling, hating how it feels.

Tara sighs deeply, "yeah. It's been two minutes."

Faith is out the window before Tara even finishes her reply.

xxxxxx

_ How dare she fucking follow me? This is bullshit. I don't need her watching me. I can take care of myself. _

Faith runs as fast as she can, but somehow Buffy continues to follow her. This isn't the first time she felt Buffy following her, but this time she can't seem to get away.  _ Tara must be helping her tonight _ . She growled, furious that the people who supposedly cared about her wouldn't just leave her alone.

Faith is running aimlessly, not paying attention to where she is.

"Slayer." A voice hisses at her, and she grins.  _ Whatever this is will be better than thinking about Buffy. _

"Holy shit, you are ugly!" She responds with insane glee. The creature before her is covered in slime and does not seem to appreciate her observation.

"I might be ugly, but I am not alone." She finds herself surrounded by four similar looking creatures.

"Ok, then, let's party." She launches herself at the closest one, smashing his face with her fist and having to suppress a gag at how squishy he is. She briefly considers using her special weapon, it would mean not having to touch any of these disgusting things again, but it might make the fight too easy. She sticks with her fists. Her fists have never failed her before.

She fights with uncontrolled fury, not caring about the hits she takes, not caring that she might be doing more damage to herself than to them. Even with her chaotic actions, it doesn't take too long until four of the creatures are down, the slime was slippery and gross but didn't seem to protect them all that much. The final creature howls at the corpses of his dead friends.

"You will pay for this!"

Faith laughs bitterly, "I think I already am."

The creature surprises her and crashes a meaty fist into her head before she can defend herself, she falls backward and slams her back into a rock. "That actually fucking hurt." She grunted and tried to stand up. Pain shot up and down her spine, making her see stars. She launched herself blindly at the creature who stabbed out with a weapon she didn't notice he had. It sliced into her stomach right below her diaphragm. Right through the scar she should never have received from Buffy.

She screamed in response as he twisted the blade, tearing at her insides. She smashed her head into his chin with everything that she had, and then she dropped to the ground.

She had the vague sense of being carried and then placed on something soft. Sometime later, warmth spread through her body, and she opened her eyes. Furious eyes met her gaze.

"Say whatever the fuck you're going to say, Red. I need to take a shower."

Willow shook her head, "this is the last time."

"Whatever. I don't give a shit if you heal me or not." Faith stood up and waited for Willow to step out of her way and climbed the stairs. She caught a glance of Buffy standing in her room. She hadn't meant to look. She was going to take a shower and get as far away from here as she could.

When she looked at Buffy, everything changed. This was the first time she couldn't feel the other slayer. Through everything, she had always been at least able to feel her, but now there was nothing. Buffy was as empty as she was and the truth of what she was doing finally registered in her mind.

She had been telling herself this whole time that she wasn't trying to hurt Buffy, that she was protecting her by staying away. If she had any sense, she would have known how wrong that logic was, but she didn't have any sense. The screaming whispers that she had been ignoring finally broke through. She could no longer ignore what they were telling her.

Still coated in gore and slime, she carried the empty blonde slayer into their bed. She whispered to her, telling her that she would find a way to be better, she would fix this. Buffy never responded or acknowledged her in any way.

She woke up early and watched Buffy for several long minutes. She knew she had to go before Buffy woke up. She quickly cleaned herself up and made her way to the witches dorm room and banged on the door.

"Faith?" Willow stood in her doorway, her eyes barely open.

"Can you send me to Boston?" Faith was fidgeting, bouncing from foot to foot. She hated coming here and needing Willow's help. She didn't have any other way to get there, though. If she tried to drive, it would take too long, and she would never make it.

"Send you?" Willow scrunched her face in confusion, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, like teleport me. Now?"

Willow looked at her, still not awake.

"Faith? Come in, what do you need?" Tara appeared next to Willow opening the door wider.

"I just want to know if you can send me. Now. I need to go now." Faith was having trouble keeping herself together and wasn't sure how much longer she could hold on to her need to find herself again.

"Sure, yeah, ok. I need a minute." Willow responded.

"I'll wait here." Faith didn't want to enter the room. She didn't like the way Tara was looking at her, and it was tearing her apart. She wanted to fall into the comfort Tara's presence brought her at the same time she needed to get as far away from that comfort as she could.

"Here, you might need this." Tara held out a small red object, it wasn't quite a crystal, but she didn't know how else to describe it. Faith made no move to reach for the item. "It won't do anything to you. It just makes people tell the truth." Faith frowned and still didn't try to take it. "You'll have control over it, it won't work on you, only on who you want it to. Please." Tara insisted and motioned again for Faith to take it.

Faith reluctantly reached out and plucked the item out of her hand and shoved it into her pocket.

Willow reappeared in the doorway. "Where do you want to go?"

"Here." Faith handed her a scrap of paper with an address. It was of the cemetery where her watcher had been buried. Willow frowned a little at the address but nodded.

She held out her hand, and Faith retreated a step. "I need to touch you for it to work," Willow comments carefully. Faith slowly reached out and barely touched her fingertips to Willow's.

They arrived in the graveyard, Faith looked at Willow and silently begged her to go. She was barely keeping herself together, and she needed to be alone to find her strength again. Willow nodded and vanished before Faith had to say anything. Faith took a deep breath and surveyed her surroundings. She didn't know which grave was her Watcher's, but it didn't matter. She only chose this place because she had to pick somewhere.

She stalked off towards her old neighborhood. She needed a car, and she hoped it wouldn't be too difficult to find someone who would lend her one. After she had escaped from her mother, she had lived off and on with her watcher. Never fully trusting the woman, but finding it hard to deny herself access to regular food and a warm bed.

She had made a lot of friends on the streets, and she hoped that one of them would remember her enough to give her a car. If not, she would just have to take one.

"Faith? Is that really you?"

Faith whipped around to face the new voice. She had no idea who this woman was, "you know me?"

The stranger backed away, "yes. I… I knew your watcher."

"So you know what I am?" Faith smiled and stalked closer.

The woman swallowed hard and nodded.

"Got a car?"

"You… need a ride somewhere? I'll take you wherever you want to go."

Faith moved even closer, grabbing the woman's shoulder before she could escape. "Not a ride, need a car."

  
  



	34. Chapter 34

**Buffy**

Faith started her explanation of what had happened to her by saying they had to return the car. She couldn't remember who the woman was that let her borrow it. All that she could remember was that the woman knew Faith through her watcher. They were able to find the woman's name and address on the vehicle's registration.

Willow compounded the bad news by telling them that she would need at least another day before she would be able to bring them back home.

Buffy sat in silence in the back seat of the car as Faith explained what had happened. Faith didn't go into any detail of what had happened to her while she was restrained in the Initiative. She could only explain that when she came out, that she felt hollow and couldn't make any sense of what had changed. Most of the injuries Faith had come home with, occurred at an underground demon fight club. That seemed to be where Faith had spent the majority of her time.

Filled with rage she could barely contain, Buffy sat and ranted at herself for all the mistakes she had made. She was vaguely aware that the others were still talking, making plans to visit David's apartment and find out what he might have been hoping to accomplish.

Faith whimpered, and Buffy finally realized what she was doing. Buffy had never wanted to cause Faith pain, but by not keeping her emotions under control, she was. Buffy took a deep breath and focused, knowing that she couldn't let her anger and guilt control her right now. She slid closer to Faith and pulled her close, grateful that they had decided to have Willow drive.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," Faith whispered, and Buffy felt even worse that Faith felt any blame for what she had done.

"It's not your fault, none of it is your fault." Buffy held her tightly, pushing all the love she had over their connection.

"I can tell how angry you are." Faith countered.

Buffy turned Faith so she could see her eyes. "Not at you, I'm not even a little angry at you. I'm angry at pretty much everyone else, but not you." The person she as most furious with, was herself. "Nothing that happened to you is your fault. Nothing."

Faith shook her head sadly.

"I'm serious. Faith, nothing that happened, nothing you said or did this past week was your fault." Buffy sighed, her guilt over the pain Faith was feeling spilling out of her. "And I don't want to hear anything about how you think you should leave to keep us safe."

"But..."

"No! We are safer when we're together. We'll figure out what he did to you and make sure it can't happen again. But you are not leaving." Buffy had briefly considered that what would be best for Faith, would be to let her go. But after hearing Faith explain what happened, she knew she would never do that. Even in Faith's deranged state, she still returned home, because that is where she belonged. Buffy would never let that get taken away.

"I killed someone." Faith whispered.

Buffy wanted to point out what happened last time Faith tried to run away from killing someone, but she couldn't do that with Tara and Willow listening. "We don't know what happened, and until we do, we aren't making any decisions. For all you know the guy was lying and was a demon, he was at least involved with demons. So we wait until we know more. Ok?"

Faith nodded grimly.

Buffy was not satisfied with Faith's response, but until they were alone, she didn't feel comfortable saying anything else.

"Faith, maybe this isn't the best time… but there's been something I've wanted to tell you for a while now." Tara pulled a photograph out of her pocket. It was well worn and creased. It was evident that it was a treasured item. Faith hesitantly took it and gasped. Buffy leaned closer so she could see as well.

It showed two women, each holding a baby. One woman was fair-haired while the other was a brunette. "Is this what I think it is?" Faith asked as she ran her finger over the face of the brunette woman. There was no doubt from looking in the woman's eyes that this was Faith's real mother.

Tara smiled and nodded, "I've carried that around as long as I can remember. Until today, I didn't really understand what it was of. No one would tell me who the other woman was, but now I'm sure it's my mother's sister."

"So we're cousins?" Faith smiled a little as she looked down at the photograph.

Buffy watched the smile play over Faith's face and felt relief wash over her. She had no idea what they were in store for, but the smile restored her confidence that everything was going to be OK. The Faith that she knew and loved was back, and nothing was going to take her away again.

"We're here," Willow says as she brings the car to a stop. A woman, flanked by three teenage girls stood at the top of the driveway. Their expressions were not quite readable.

"Let me handle this." Faith said and exited the car. Buffy followed, not about to let Faith deal with anything alone again, the two witches also quickly followed.

The woman's eyes softened as soon as she saw Faith, a grin on her face. "Faith? Do you remember me?"

"No, not really." Faith admitted, looking quite embarrassed.

"I was friends with your watcher. My name is Kara." She turned to the three teenagers behind her, "this is Kennedy, Vi, and Rhona. They are potential slayers, and I am their watcher."

Kennedy crossed her arms and scoffed, "I'm not so potential anymore."

"What?! What does that mean?" Buffy asked, taking a step forward, putting herself protectively between Faith and Kennedy.

"It means - two days ago, I became a full slayer," Kennedy said with a nasty grin, her head raised high with supreme confidence.

Buffy blinked a few times and had to repress an urge to scream. Remembering the state Faith was in two days ago, it was as bad as she had seen her. They had found her on the porch. They had no idea how she got there, but she had been alive at the time. They didn't bother to question her about what had happened, knowing she wouldn't have answered.

Buffy tried to understand how she didn't feel it happen but now realized that she had. Remembering clearly now the intense blast of agony she felt that night. It lasted only a few seconds, and at the time, she wouldn't let herself accept what it had meant.

"Since you are here, and looking quite well. We assume it was Buffy that died. I've been trying to reach your watcher for some time now." Kara moved forward and reached for Faith to hug her. "I understand you were quite close with Buffy. I am very sorry for your loss." Faith stood stock still, a completely blank and uncomprehending look on her face.

Buffy's level of irritation at this entire situation was incomprehensible. She was beginning to shake with frustration. She needed a break from all of this. Her selfishness had gotten Faith killed, and she couldn't stand it. She also couldn't help being slightly annoyed that this supposed watcher didn't even know who she was.

Buffy turned away from the group and walked down the street. Feeling trapped in this city with no idea of how to deal with anything that has happened, she needed a moment to get control of herself. All of her energy focused on keeping her shields up, so she wouldn't cause Faith any more pain.

"Buffy?" Tara's voice calls softly from behind her. She stood still, giving Tara a chance to catch up.

"How could this have happened? How did I let her die?" Buffy turned and hugged Tara tightly. Tara didn't bother trying to tell her it wasn't her fault, which she was grateful for. "How could the keepers not have told us what happened to her? They must have known."

Tara sighed, "I don't know. I don't understand any of this."

Buffy let herself be comforted by Tara for a few more minutes. She guessed that Tara was feeling the same level of guilt over Faith's death. None of them were doing enough to fight the First, and they had let their group drift apart. They were supposed to be working together, but they had become so wrapped up in their own lives that they barely even saw each other.

Buffy made a decision. Faith had been taking care of her for too long. Her need to have a normal life led to Faith dying. Once they got back home, they were uniting in their battle against the First. Since she had likely failed all of her finals, she wasn't going to bother going back to school. She was going to be the slayer she was supposed to be, and she was going to make sure everyone else played their parts as well. Nothing was going to hurt Faith again.

Buffy took a deep breath and backed away from Tara, "guess we should go back."

"Yeah." Tara didn't start moving right away. "There is one good thing in all this."

Buffy turned to give her an incredulous look, finding it impossible to find anything good about this situation.

Tara was staring at Faith with her brows furrowed. "I don't understand it, but she's whole now."

"Like before? No more void?"

"No... more than that. There was a sort of scar, residue from what had happened to her. But now... I guess now her spirit is how it always should have been."

Buffy watched Faith as she spoke to Kara, letting herself feel Faith entirely. Trying to make her anger and guilt flow away and focus only on Faith. Faith turned to her and smiled, and Buffy couldn't help smile back. "I don't have any idea what that means, but I trust you that it's good. She feels..." Buffy searched for the right word. Something was different, but she couldn't quite name it. She always felt better when Faith was near her, but now it was even more. She could feel that Faith's energy was washing her pain away.

"You can feel it now, can't you?" Tara questioned, and Buffy had to stifle a giggle. Many times she'd wondered if Tara could read her mind, she was no longer shocked by it. "She's always affected those around her. Now it's going to be even more pronounced."

Buffy felt the change in Faith's emotions and watched almost in slow motion as Faith knocked Kennedy to the ground. She moved quickly, hoping to diffuse any further confrontation.

"Awww… I wanted to do that." Buffy whined as she moved to Faith and wrapped her arm around her waist.

"I'm sure you'll get your chance." Faith winked and leaned into Buffy. Buffy pulsed their slayer connection with all the love and support she had for Faith. Smiling as the feelings were returned.

Kennedy stood up and wiped the blood from her lip. She took a step towards Faith, but Kara barred her path.

"If we're all quite done with the posturing, perhaps we could go inside and try to act like adults?" Kara suggested, motioning them all to come inside. They entered Kara's house and stood awkwardly in her kitchen.

"Before anyone says anything else. Willow, can you get yourself home and back? There's something I need from my nightstand." She tugged on her ear, and Willow nodded her understanding before vanishing. Turning to Faith, "did you clear up our little misunderstanding?"

"Not yet."

"OK, let's just wait for Willow to get back."

Kennedy huffed, "why the hell is she in charge?"

"I'm not in charge of anything," Buffy replied tersely. "We just have to check something before we explain."

Kennedy grunted and crossed her arms over her chest.

Buffy was begging Willow to hurry up. She really wanted to punch Kennedy. She needed to know if Kennedy was evil or not before taking any action. Willow arrived a few seconds later, handing Buffy her magical ear cuff. Buffy held it for a second and sighed.

"Are you sure about this? You don't have to." Faith asked.

"I do have to. I should never have taken it off." With resolve, she slid the item onto her ear, keeping her eyes closed. When she opened them, she grunted but was able to repress the urge to gag. What she saw now, wasn't anything compared to last time. Stepping towards Kennedy, she gave her a wicked grin.

"What the hell is that? What are you doing?" Kennedy, for the first time, looked nervous and backed away. Instead of reaching for Kennedy, Buffy grabbed Vi. "Little help?" She looked over her shoulder and waited for the others to join her.

Kennedy tried to pull Buffy away from Vi but found herself on the ground again. This time Buffy was the one who punched her. "You might be a slayer now, but you will not touch any of us again."

"You're the other slayer? But how?" Kennedy crawled away, as Buffy stared down at her.

"Everything will be explained shortly."

Vi was jerking in Buffy's grip but wasn't able to escape before the others joined. A few moments later, she frowned and blinked a few times. "You OK?" Buffy was relieved at the minimal reaction. She still wore the ear cuff and saw as the small amount of darkness surrounding the potential slayer was expelled, unable to find its way back in.

Vi grimaced but nodded. "What happened?"

"That's what we're about to ask you. You let the First evil into yourself somehow, we just kicked it out." Buffy answered, trying to keep control of her emotions.

"I did what? No!" Vi had a look of complete horror and tried to back away.

"Sorry, it's true." Buffy replied softly, "but you're OK now. And we're going to make sure you stay OK."

"This is Willow and Tara, they are witches, and I am Buffy," Buffy explained to Kara.

"So… who died then?" Kara asked.

"It must have been me, but I don't remember." Faith shrugged, "I've sort of had a bad week."

Buffy laughed uncontrollably, which was contagious by the rest of her party. "Sorry… that's just a little bit of an understatement."

Kara looked shocked at their behavior, "how can you laugh when Faith died?"

The question made Buffy laugh harder. It took her a few moments to gain control of herself. "It's a sort of laugh in the face of unbelievable anguish, kind of thing. Believe me. We are taking this very seriously."

Kara frowned and looked to Faith again, "why wasn't I able to reach your watcher?"

"I don't exactly have a watcher anymore, haven't for years." Faith shrugged.

"What? But… I've been corresponding with him."

Buffy and Faith gave each other a look, each dreading what they were about to find out. "Wesley? Have you been talking to Wesley?"

"Yes. He's your watcher, isn't he?"

The slayers groaned. "What has he been telling you?"

"Not much really, mostly he's asked me for any information I had on Faith. I sent him copies of everything she kept. I'll get the originals. Please make yourselves comfortable." Kara motioned towards another room, on her way up the stairs.

The group moved into the living room, the Sunnydale crew squeezing together on a large couch. Vi and Rhona took seats opposite them, while Kennedy stood behind them. Buffy was amused by the new slayer's attempt to look intimidating.

While Kara was away, Buffy focused her attention on Vi. The potential slayer shrunk back under her gaze. Buffy tried to find a soft tone, "tell us what happened. What do you remember?"

"I don't know…" Vi looked nervously around the room.

"It's OK. We don't blame you for what you did. We just need all the information you can give us." Buffy was struggling to keep calm. She didn't quite understand how anyone could allow evil into themselves, but she knew that the girl was frightened and they needed answers.

Vi sighed, "a few weeks ago, I started hearing a voice… I don't know whose. It kept telling me that it could make me a full slayer. That if I didn't do what it wanted, evil would overtake the world."

Buffy leaned forward, doing her best to keep her posture relaxed, "what did it want you to do."

"I think I can guess." Kara said as she walked down the steps, "you destroyed all of Diana's research."

Vi nodded sadly, "it kept telling me I had to. That it was the only way to keep the world safe."

"Did you do anything else?" Buffy asked, and Vi quickly shook her head. "Do you remember the information from what you sent to Wesley? We're also going to need his address."

"I do still have his contact information, but it's just a PO Box." Kara frowned and sat down. "Most of the information was notes she had made about the slayer. Lore and history, things like that. Almost nothing was specific to Faith."

"Why would Wesley want any of that? He should already have had access to it." Willow questioned.

"Most of her focus was on something called the Scythe." Kara supplied, Buffy and Faith each did their best to remain calm at the news.

"What about the Scythe?" Buffy finally asked.

"She was attempting to locate it. She knew it was an important weapon for the Slayer. She discovered a map, but hadn't figured out the exact location before she died."

Buffy frowned and leaned back into the couch. Everything was coming full circle, the Mayor must have originally obtained the watcher's notes, and that's how they came across them in the Initiative. Now that Wesley had them, they couldn't know what he planned to do with the information.

"How long ago did you send him information on the Scythe?"

Kara thought for a moment, "more than a year ago."

Buffy was relieved, they knew that the Scythe was still perfectly safe. It didn't seem like there was any way that Wesley or anyone else on the side of evil would be able to get to the weapon.

"Wait, you said you were a watcher. But you didn't know Wesley wasn't our's… are you in contact with the council?" Faith asked.

"Of course. They are who sent the potential slayers to me." Kara's eyes widened for a moment, "are you not aware of what's been happening?"

"We sort of quit the council after Wesley sided with an evil government agency and tried to have us killed. We haven't been in contact with them for almost two years." Buffy shrugged but was becoming nervous about what they were about to find out.

Kara's mouth dropped open, and she rubbed her face with her hands, "I can't believe this."

"We should call Giles, let him know what's been going on. Maybe he can explain why the council still thinks Wesley is our watcher." Buffy suggests.

"Giles? Rupert Giles?" Kara asks incredulously, "hasn't he gone rogue? Wesley said… oh…" Kara frowned. "Yes, of course."

Willow brought out her cell phone and placed the call to Giles. "Giles, we're in Boston. Yes, we're all fine, we'll explain later why we are here. We met someone, and she has information we thought you needed to hear."

She places the phone on speaker and nods for Kara to explain.

"Potential slayers and their watchers have been disappearing or being murdered all over the world," Kara states sadly. There is a collective gasp from the Sunnydale crew. "I was attempting to coordinate sending the group I have to Sunnydale for protection…" she trailed off.

"Giles, have you been in touch with the council at all lately?" Buffy asked.

"No, they have been refusing my calls for some time."

"That's likely because Wesley has reported to them that you have gone rogue." Kara supplies.

"Wesley? I thought we were rid of that nuisance years ago." Giles groans. Buffy has to restrain pointing out that she wanted to do a lot more to Wesley, now isn't the time for bickering. Plus, if she hasn't insisted they cut ties with the council, this situation may have been avoided.

"It sounds like he's still reporting to them as if he's our watcher," Buffy responds through clenched teeth.

Giles was silent on the other end.

"I will contact them and attempt to straighten everything out. Perhaps they have an idea of where Wesley is." Kara offers.

Buffy picks up the phone and takes it off speaker, "Giles?"

"I'm sorry, Buffy."

"It's OK. We'll work this out. See if you can find out anything about where he might be. We should be back tomorrow." She sighs and ends the call, handing the phone back to Willow.

Buffy was beyond drained. She just wanted to go home and talk to Faith about everything that happened.

Buffy leaned back into the couch and let the others talk. It turned out that Kara was also a witch and was able to help Willow replenish her stores of magic quicker. They would be able to return home in much less time that Willow had initially thought.

Buffy snuggled into Faith's side and let herself relax into her strength. Faith felt incredible to her. She always had, but it was different now. The past week of losing their connection made her realize she had been taking what they had for granted. She was determined never to do that again.

It only took a few hours before Willow was ready to bring them all home. They parted from the Boston group, trading phone numbers and agreeing to plans to funnel any new potential slayers to Sunnydale.

When they arrived, Buffy headed upstairs immediately. Leaving Faith and the witches to discuss how they were going to deal with David. She was not nearly as worried about what had happened to David as she thought she would be. Even if there ended up being human consequences to what Faith had done, they would deal with it together. She was also determined not to let Faith be consumed with guilt over killing the person who kidnapped her and was most certainly evil.

Buffy paced in her room as she waited for Faith. She smoothed her hands over the fabric of her dress and remembered the one time before she had worn it. It had been a particularly fantastic date night before her mother died.

She did her best to calm her breathing and not let her nervousness through to Faith.

"B? Woah." Faith gasped as she entered their bedroom and saw what Buffy was wearing. Buffy smiled and pressed her body tightly against Faith's. Moaning as Faith's hands went to her hips as they deepened the kiss. Buffy broke the kiss and leaned heavily against Faith.

"Mmmm. You feel so good." She whispered as she tried to get control of herself and remember what it was she was planning on doing. "Everything OK with Willow and Tara?"

Faith held Buffy tightly to her and breathed her scent in, "yeah, everything is fine."

"Anything you want to talk about?" Buffy desperately wanted to know more about what Faith went through, but at this moment she felt it was more important to do something she should have done months ago.

Faith shook her head and grinned. "I'm way more interested in whatever you've got planned."

Buffy slowly backed away and led Faith to sit on the edge of the bed. Buffy moved to the dresser and grabbed a small box before turning back to Faith. "Before my mother died, she gave me this - to give to you. I should have done this sooner, before…" Buffy frowned, "she would have liked to have seen you wear it. I just thought we had more time." Buffy shook her head and refocused, "she loved you. I hope you know that."

"I know she did. I loved her too. I wish we could have saved her."

Buffy sighed heavily, "we did the best we could."

Buffy started to shake. Things had gone in a direction she hadn't meant them to. This was supposed to be a happy moment, but now she was anything but happy.

"B?"

"Sorry, I just… I had this plan. We were supposed to have gone away this weekend, and I wanted to be all romantic when I asked you." Buffy couldn't read what Faith was feeling. She was good at shielding her emotions and only letting through what she wanted Buffy to know.

"When you asked me what?" Faith shifted nervously on the bed.

Buffy stood Faith back up and flipped the box open, reaching for Faith's left hand. "Will you marry me?"

Faith's mouth dropped open, and she took a step back, "you... want to marry me?"

Buffy did her best to hide her disappointment at the reaction. "Yes, I want to marry you. I want to stand up in front of our friends and family and gush about how amazing you are and how much I love you. I want you and everyone who sees you, to know that you are loved. That you have a family, who loves you."

Faith was frozen, her face and emotions completely unreadable. Buffy released her hold on Faith's hand and moved slightly away.

Buffy's nervousness took hold of her the longer Faith stood there without speaking, "I know we can't afford a big ceremony, it could just be here at the house. I don't need a fancy ring or anything, we probably already have something we can use. And… maybe you'll want to adopt Dawn, that way if something does happen to me, no one can take her away from you."

Buffy couldn't look at Faith. Fear was assaulting her.  _ Why did I think it was a good idea to do this now? She's just been through hell, and here I am pouring more on her!  _ "I'm sorry, this was epically bad timing. I was just so excited, and I thought… I should have waited until we had more time to talk about what happened. I've been thinking about this for months. I should have..."

Buffy's words were cut off by Faith's lips on hers. The kiss was brief, and when Buffy finally opened her eyes, she saw Faith's shining brightly back.

"Are you saying yes? Or just trying to shut me up?"

Faith smiled and held her hand out, "I'm saying yes…, and maybe a little trying to shut you up."

Buffy slid the ring onto Faith's finger and then flung herself into Faith's arms. Kissing her, and pushing her towards the bed. Faith reversed their positions and forced Buffy to sit. Buffy looked up at her questioningly.

Faith worked her mother's ring off of her pinky and held it for a second, smiling down at it. "This was my mother's. She's telling me she wants you to have it."

"How is she doing that?"

"I don't know exactly, but she's part of this ring somehow. It's what protected me all those years. Is that too freaky for you?"

Buffy laughed, "a magical talking ring seems exactly the right amount of freaky for us." Buffy held out her hand and could feel the pulse of approval and love from the ring. "Wow, this is incredible. Can you still hear her?" It was a little disconcerting that the woman who had tortured Faith had also worn this ring, but knowing that it was Faith's mother's and it had protected her for so long - made up for it.

Faith nodded and climbed into Buffy's lap. Straddling her and pressing their bodies tightly together. Clothes were slowly and carefully removed as Buffy focused on showing Faith exactly how much she loved her.

xxxxxxxxx

Buffy laid back against Faith, and reveled in the love she felt pouring from Faith. Sighing happily as she traced lazy circles on Faith's hip.

"Dawn will be back tonight?"

"Yeah," Buffy's haze of happiness was pierced by Faith's question. Not so much because of Dawn, just because tomorrow meant reality. It meant she had to go back to work.

"What's wrong?"

Buffy shook her head, "nothing's wrong exactly."

"B?"

Buffy shifted a little so she could face Faith, "can you do something for me?"

"Anything." Faith answered instantly.

"Can you let me feel more of you? More of what you're feeling?"

"I.." Faith looked embarrassed.

Buffy smiled, "you always know when I'm upset or worried, and you help me through whatever it is. I just want to be able to do the same for you. I know when you're feeling good things, but I never know when you're upset. I just want to try to give you as much as you give me."

Faith sat up a little, "it's not that I'm hiding anything from you…"

"I know it's not about hiding anything. You're just trying to protect me. You've taken care of me and protected me for our whole relationship. I want to take care of you for once."

Faith smiled up at Buffy, "OK, I can try."

Buffy leaned in to kiss her.

"That wasn't what you were upset about, though, was it?" Faith asked once Buffy had pulled back from the kiss.

Buffy groaned, "we have to go back to work tomorrow."

Faith stiffened slightly, "um… well… two things about that."

Buffy turned to look at Faith, so she could at least try to read her expression.

"One, pretty sure I'm fired. Not showing up for a week, tends to do that." Faith shifted out from under her.

Buffy sat up and hugged her knees, "what's the second thing?" She mumbled, reality was seriously crushing her spirit at the moment, and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear what the second thing was.

"I'll be right back." Faith jumped up and headed downstairs, without putting any clothes on.

Buffy glumly got up from the bed and started cleaning up the tornado of clothes that had been strewn about the room. Slipping on shorts and a tank-top while she waited.

Faith came back a few seconds later, before saying anything, she moved to her nightstand. "I just remembered a third thing."

Buffy bit her lip, to stop herself from groaning. Faith seemed to be in a really good mood, so she didn't know how any of these things were bad, she just really didn't want any more surprises. She sat on the bed and closed her eyes while she waited. She was shocked when she felt something pressed into her hand, looking down to see a massive wad of cash. "What?"

"This should help for now."

Buffy scrunched her face, trying to make sense of this, "from the fight club? You bet on yourself?"

Faith grinned, "hell yeah, I did! Plus they started to give me a cut of the other fights since I drew in such a crowd."

Buffy rolled her eyes and chuckled, looking closer at the mound of cash in her hands. "There's like ten grand here! This was in your nightstand? And you earned all this in just a few days?"

Faith shrugged, her eyes twinkling. Buffy could only laugh and shake her head at Faith's attitude. Her confidence was one of the many things that she loved about Faith.

"We're going to need to talk about this fight club more, later though. What's the third thing?"

Faith handed Buffy the folder she had brought up from downstairs.

"Red found out more than she told you. When she looked at that address, she realized it was in my name. Then she dug more and found all that." Faith motioned to the paper Buffy was holding.

"Holy shit." Buffy gasped as she read the document. Not understanding all the legal jargon, but getting enough to realize that there was a trust in Faith's name with many millions of dollars.

"That's kinda what I thought when I found out."

"Does this mean I don't have to go to work tomorrow?" Buffy grinned, and Faith's face lit up.

"I'll need a lawyer to figure all this crap out. But hopefully, it means neither of us ever have to work again."

Buffy laughed and shook her head. She turned to look at Faith, who was now leaning against the headboard, still completely naked. Buffy had a lot of questions. She wanted to know what Faith thought about everything that happened. With the way Faith was looking at her though, she decided that questions could wait until later.

  
  



	35. Chapter 35

**Buffy**

"Is Faith going to leave now?" Dawn asks quietly. She had been slowly picking at the breakfast in front of her, barely eating any of it.

"What? Why would you ask that?" Buffy had to resist groaning. Dawn had been staying with Anya and Xander for the past week so that she wouldn't see the way Faith was behaving. It didn't even occur to Buffy to be worried that Faith would hurt Dawn. She honestly didn't want to risk damaging their relationship.

"She's super rich, why would she stay here with us? I sure wouldn't if I had that kind of money."

"You're being ridiculous. Faith loves us. She would never leave us. How did you find out about that, anyway?" Buffy was fairly annoyed that everyone seemed to know about Faith's trust, except for her.

"I heard Anya and Xander talking about it." Dawn rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "She loves you, maybe, not so sure she cares about me."

"You can't seriously think that!"

"Why not? She's always picking on me and calling me annoying!"

"Maybe because you are annoying?" Buffy snaps back, getting frustrated with herself for falling back into bickering with her sister.

"See! You'd leave me, too if you had the chance!"

Buffy sighed, things had been strained between the sisters for some time. Both Buffy and Faith had begun working more hours, trying to keep up with the household costs, she knew that Dawn was feeling neglected, but there wasn't anything she could do about it.

"Dawn, you know that Faith loves you - and you know that we both are doing everything we can to take care of you. So what is this really about?"

Dawn is quiet, fiddling with the food on her plate. "What if she does leave? What if she's sick of me and doesn't want to have to deal with me anymore?"

"There's no way that will happen. I promise you. We are her family, and she'll do anything she can to take care of us. No matter how annoying and bratty you are, that will never change." Buffy had become aware very early in this conversation that Faith was just outside the kitchen and could hear everything they were saying. It didn't affect anything she would have said, but she hoped that it wouldn't upset Faith that Dawn didn't think she loved her.

"What are we going to do if she does leave? We can't afford to live here without her help."

"Stop it already. Faith is not going to leave!"

"You don't know that!" Dawn shouted back, her voice reaching the high pitched screech that always got on Buffy's nerves.

"Actually, I really do." Buffy held her hand in front of Dawn's face. It took her sister a while to understand what she was being shown.

"She asked you to marry her!?

"Well, I asked her, but she agreed." Buffy stared at the ring on her finger, smiling as it pulsed her with warmth and love.

Dawn gave an excited squeak and ran around the counter to hug her sister. "I'm so happy for you both!"

"So, are you satisfied now that she won't leave?"

"I am." Dawn nodded eagerly.

"If you don't stop being such a brat, we might send you to boarding school, though." Faith says as she enters the kitchen.

"Shouldn't you have to be nicer to me now that you're going to be my sister-in-law?"

"I don't think that's how it works." Faith says as she wraps her arms around Buffy from behind and kisses her neck.

"This is so not fair!" Dawn shrieks, but she has a massive smile on her face.

"You should know by now that nothing is ever fair. You better get going, don't want to be late for school."

Dawn sticks her tongue out at her sister and runs out of the kitchen.

"Can we send her to boarding school? Sounds kinda nice." Buffy says, closing her eyes and leaning into Faith's warmth.

"Nah, you know you'd miss her."

"I guess." Buffy sighed, she knew it was time to stop avoiding all of the things they needed to talk about. She had already called in sick, planning on spending as much time as necessary to help Faith get through what happened. She had wanted just to quit, but there were a lot of things to work out before she could do that.

"Can we talk about last week?" Buffy asked as gently as she could, bracing herself for the backlash that usually came with these kinds of questions. Much to her relief, there was none.

Faith nodded, and leaned against the counter, sipping her coffee.

"There's a lot I still don't understand about what happened. I don't just mean this week, but before. All those times anyone tried to get me to think about the past… I don't know. It was like there was this block. I thought I had done it to myself, but now, I'm not sure."

Buffy waited for Faith to continue. This was the most Faith had ever said about her past, and she hadn't actually said anything yet.

"What David did to me..." Faith paused and scrunched her face, "he made me remember."

"Remember?" Buffy raised an eyebrow, not at all understanding.

"Remember living there, with her. I could never answer you when you asked about my past because I didn't know. Everything I thought I knew about my past, was wrong or a lie. My father didn't abandon me, he died in some freak accident." Faith took another sip of coffee, "There's still a lot of blank space. I don't even remember how I escaped from there. I think maybe Kara and Diana pulled me out, but I'm not sure." Faith frowned and rubbed her thigh gently, something Buffy hadn't seen her do in a very long time. She had always wondered about the scar that was there, but any reference to it would cause Faith to shut down.

"Maybe Kara will know something?" Buffy offered, opting to not prod into Faith's past and let her tell things in her own way.

"Maybe." Faith took a deep breath. "Before whatever David did to me, my earliest memory was of waking up with Diana looking over me. I had no idea who I was, or who she was. The only things I knew for sure, was that I was worthless - that I should never have been born and that I couldn't trust anyone."

Buffy gasped, and Faith smiled a little, "I was awful to her. Fought her at every turn, ran away constantly, stole anything I thought I could sell - but she always welcomed me back. No matter what I did, she'd tell me I was special and that she'd help me. When I finally became the slayer, things started to get a little better, then they got worse, then I came here - then you know what happened."

Buffy nodded and waited for Faith to continue.

"I would sometimes get flashes of my step-mother's face - Flashes of pain and emptiness. Snippets of things she had said would make it through. I could never remember all of it, there was no context - just pain."

Buffy ached for what Faith had been through, doing her best to keep it together while Faith decided what she wanted to say next.

"When I was forced to relive those memories, I hoped they weren't real. That was part of why I needed to go back there. Once I saw her and that place I knew it had all really happened."

Faith ran her fingers through her hair and blew out a breath. "It's like there are too many versions of everything that's happened to me." Then she smiled and looked up at Buffy, "but here's the thing. Where I am right now, I know who I am and what I want. I feel… whole and like none of that stuff matters. I don't want to rehash all the shit that happened to me. I don't think I need to. Is that OK?" Faith moved closer and held Buffy's hands.

Buffy searched Faith's eyes and probed her feelings, trying to understand. Faith was completely resolute and wasn't lying. Whether or not she was right, Buffy had no idea. She knew it was different than before, Faith wasn't in pain - she wasn't exactly calm, but she wasn't getting upset like she usually would. Buffy had learned more about Faith's history in these past few minutes than in all the time of knowing her.

Buffy started to feel guilty that she was justifying agreeing with Faith, just because she didn't want to know the details of what had happened to her. Then her guilt began to compound, wondering if all this time that she didn't try hard enough to get Faith to talk to her.

Faith's arms were around her again, "nothing bad that happened to me is in any way your fault."

"But..." Buffy started to argue, but Faith silenced her.

"It's not my fault, and it definitely isn't yours. The First has been messing with my life since the beginning. It's the only one to blame in all this."

"I just don't want to let you down again."

"You never let me down." Faith countered.

"But I did! I doubted you. I thought you were just sick of how hard things have been." Buffy pulled away and turned from Faith, wrapping her arms around herself and trying not to have a complete breakdown.

"I get how you could have thought that. We've barely seen each other, and when we did, we were too tired to talk about anything."

"I just..." Faith gently turned Buffy around, forcing her to look in Faith's eyes.

"Buffy, I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel less guilty. Just know that I don't blame you even a little bit. Not for how stressful life has been lately and definitely not for last week. I don't know for sure what would have happened if you had pushed harder to get me to talk to you... but I really don't think it would have been good." Buffy was slightly relaxing, mostly from the warm blanket of emotions Faith was covering her in. "Plus, we hopefully won't have to worry about money anymore. Even with whatever happens with David, you and Dawn will be taken care of."

"Faith..." Buffy's happy thoughts were torn away at the idea of Faith having to go to prison. Especially not for killing someone who kidnapped her and was most certainly doing the bidding of the First Evil.

"I'm not going to run away from this. Even if I wasn't in control of myself at the time, it was still me that did it. You know you'd say the same thing if this had happened to you."

Buffy couldn't argue with that logic. Instead, she tried to focus on something they could actually do. "We should go check out the fight club, maybe they can tell us more," Buffy suggested. She had a lot of questions about this club and hoped they could tell them something that would make this David problem go away.

It took a bit of convincing, but Buffy and Faith were standing before the door to the demon fight club.

"Are you sure about this, B?" Faith was nervous, and Buffy felt a bizarre sort of happiness that Faith was actually letting some of her negative emotions through to her.

"Yep, we need to find out what happened to you."

Faith grimaced and knocked, a window slid aside, and the door opened.

"Hey, wait! She can't come in here!" The guard shouted and reached for Buffy.

This time Buffy grabbed the guard's arm and twisted until the creature squealed and backed away. Faith had suggested that they don't reveal that anything changed until they found out more about what happened at the club. Buffy was nervous but willing to try and act as if she belonged in the club.

"What was that?" Faith took a step towards the guard.

"Nothing, everything is fine." The guard stammered and tried to back away but couldn't escape Buffy's grip.

Buffy released the guard and wrapped her arm around Faith's waist as they walked together into the central part of the club.

"Faith! Welcome back." The manager of the club walked up to the pair, a broad smile on his demon face. Buffy kept her composure as the slayer part of her was itching to fight the monster in front of her. "And you brought the other slayer! I couldn't be more pleased."

"We're not here to fight. We just need some information."

The manager frowned, but then a wicked glint formed in his eye. "Information is to be traded. One fight, and you'll get all the information you could want."

"I'm not fighting." Faith crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. Faith had explained that the fight club was upstanding as any underground demon fight club could be. She couldn't remember everything about how they worked, but she seemed convinced that the club wasn't necessarily evil.

"Not you, her." He said and motioned towards Buffy, "we have someone who heard the slayer was fighting here. She has offered a great deal for this opportunity."

"No way, neither of us is fighting." Faith stood firm, shaking her head.

"Who is it? What kind of demon?" Buffy asked.

"B? You can't do this."

"You don't think I can take on one demon?" Faith had been handling the majority of the slaying, but Buffy still kept up with her training and was very capable of taking care of one demon by herself.

"It's not about that." Faith frowned and tried to pull Buffy away from the manager, but Buffy wouldn't cooperate.

"It's a vampire," the manager supplies. "She wants a one on one fight, with the original slayer. For this, I will tell you everything you could want to know."

"One vampire? I'll do it." Buffy answered and held out her hand to shake with the manager.

"B!" Faith pulled Buffy to the side. "What are you doing? We don't even know if he can help us."

Buffy chuckled and kissed Faith. She had decided it was time to get back into her role of vampire slayer, and this seemed to her like a good way to start. Whoever this vampire was, she apparently had a grudge against her. Better to fight her in a somewhat controlled environment then deal with whatever plots there might be.

"You can't just kiss me and expect me to think this is a good idea."

"No?" Buffy kissed her again, this time much more forcefully. She put her whole body into it and at the same time used their connection to overload her senses. She did intend to explain her actual justification for fighting, but this way was more fun for now.

"Mmm." Faith moaned once Buffy finally broke the kiss, "that's not fair."

Buffy winked at her before turning back to the manager, "when do we fight?"

"She'll be here shortly."

Buffy noticed that the area surrounding the cage had been empty when they entered, but since they had arrived, it had begun to fill. She stepped towards the manager, gripping his vest and pulling him close. "If anything I don't like happens to Faith or me, I will end you and everyone you know."

The manager swallowed hard and nodded. "I run a clean establishment. Everyone knows the rules. No violence outside the cage, and no interference with the fight is allowed. That goes for you as well."

"Perfect." Buffy let go of his vest and returned to Faith's side to wait for the fight to begin.

Lights surrounding the cage flared brightly, and the manager motioned Buffy towards the opening. She gave Faith one last kiss before entering. The gate slammed shut behind her. Moving to the center of the enclosure, she peered into the dark tunnel on the other side of the cage. There was movement, but she couldn't tell who was coming towards her.

The crowd was roaring, she focused all her attention on the other gate. Blocking out all noise and demonic signatures. Faith was the only other thing she let into her consciousness. She could feel the wave of strength infusing her. Knowing she could draw on that strength to increase her powers, but she wasn't going to do that unless she needed to.

The figure finally appeared, and Buffy gasped. Suddenly unsure of this plan. "Kendra?"

The slayer that Buffy had thought long since dead walked casually into the arena. "Did you miss me, Buffy? Do you ever think about me and what you did to me?"

Buffy tightened her face, anger burning inside her. She hadn't even considered that Drusilla could have turned Kendra, there hadn't been a chance to check. It was a grim reminder of a very bad time for her. "What happened to you wasn't my fault."

Kendra laughed wickedly, "no? It wasn't you that freed Angelus? It wasn't your selfishness that caused my death?"

"Are we going to fight, or are you going to annoy me till one of us dies?"

"We are definitely going to fight." Kendra pulled out a stake from behind her back, "remember this?" The stake was extremely familiar to Buffy. It was Kendra's stake. The one Buffy had bronzed to always remember the other slayer. She wasn't confident of the last time she saw it, but she had always kept it above their fireplace.

"No!" Buffy's confidence faltered, "how did you get that?"

"Your little sister is quite trusting." Kendra grinned and licked her lips, "tasty too."

Buffy didn't have to ask or even look at Faith, she knew that the other slayer had already left to check on Dawn.

"I am going to kill the hell out of you." Buffy moved to a fighting position, still not drawing on her extra supply of power from Faith.

Kendra laughed, "we'll just see about that. I've learned quite a few tricks since we last fought." She launched an attack, moving far more fluidly than she did when she was a slayer. Her moves were no longer telegraphed, no longer stiff.

Buffy found herself quickly on the defensive, blocking blow after blow and unable to find room for a counter-attack. Fury was building inside of her. If this creature hurt Dawn, she would never forgive herself. All her past mistakes began to haunt her. She was getting sloppy, letting blows slip past her defenses.

A warm pulsing on her left hand started to make it into her awareness. She grinned, a copper taste filling her mouth as she pulled open a split in her lip. Rolling to the side, to give herself some breathing room. Taking a deep centering breath as she rose, she focused on remembering who she was and what she was meant to do.

"I bet you think I feel bad about what happened to you. I bet you think I'd do anything to take it back."

"You should. It is all your fault!" Kendra punched out with the stake, but Buffy grabbed her hand before it could make contact.

"Maybe it was my fault. But you know what? I wouldn't change it for anything. If you hadn't have died, Faith wouldn't have become a slayer." Buffy applied more pressure to Kendra's arm, twisting it until she is forced to drop the weapon.

"You haven't learned anything! You still believe your heart is more important than the fate of the world!" Kendra roared and tried to pull out of Buffy's tight grip.

Buffy shoved Kendra away, "this time they're the same thing." Buffy had seen what happens to the world without Faith in it. She was entirely confident that Faith needed to be a slayer for the sake of the world.

Until this point, Buffy had no awareness of the crowd. She had only been focused on the fight and her worry about Dawn. The crowd was chanting wildly, she couldn't tell which one of them they were excited for, but she didn't care. The thrum of the crowd pulsed through her, waking the slayer within.

Kendra launched herself at Buffy and Buffy flipped into the air, twisting as she landed on the vampire's shoulders. She gripped under her chin and pushed off with all her might, leaping backward and landing on her feet.

Kendra's head with wide eyes was in her hands a moment before vanishing into dust, along with the rest of her. Buffy made her way to the center of the arena and picked up Mr. Pointy, sliding it into her back pocket. This was not at all the fight she had expected, but it might have been what she needed.

She probed her connection to Faith, feeling intense relief on the other end. She didn't know for sure if that meant that Dawn was OK, but she assumed that it did. She made her way out of the cage and moved through the crowd. She still wasn't sure whose side they were on, but they were excited and had the sense to move out of her way.

"That was very well done, Slayer." The manager approached her with a wide grin.

Buffy gave him a hard look, "just tell me what happened with David."

The manager scowled, quite a comical look for such a nasty looking demon. "What do you want to know about him?"

"Was he human and did Faith kill him?"

"We have a policy, no humans or anyone fighting against their will may die in the arena. It's a shame that Faith didn't try to get him to agree to the fight." The demon clicked his tongue to show his annoyance.

"So he wasn't a human, then?"

"No, he was a very unpleasant demon. But we did have to revive him." The manager's distaste for David was evident.

"So he's still around?" Buffy was not excited about the prospect of having to deal with David again.

The manager chuckled, "After the slayer's display - his claims of immortality were proven untrue. His enemies, of which he had many, took it upon themselves to rid the world of him."

Buffy relaxed and nodded, "I think that's all for now. If we have more questions, we will be in touch."

The manager smiled and let her pass. Buffy moved past the guard who had previously tried to stop her. He quickly opened the door for her. Buffy almost immediately crashed into Faith once she walked outside.

"Dawn's OK."

"Thank god." Buffy's body was starting to ache from the beating she had taken. "Home now?"

"Want some healing first?" Willow offered, and Buffy nodded. Moaning as the warmth spread through her body and healed all her injuries.

"What the hell happened here?" Buffy asked once they arrived in the Summers' living room. The coffee table had been smashed to bits along with a lamp.

"Kendra was here, but Spike fought her off. She managed to get the stake and escape." Faith explained.

"Spike was here? Why?" Spike had become more a part of their lives, but it was made clear to him that he was not welcome if Faith or Buffy weren't home.

"Didn't get a chance to find out." Faith shrugged.

Spike, Tara, and Dawn are in the kitchen, laughing about something.

"Spike? Why were you here?" Buffy was trying not to be too accusatory, but she still didn't fully trust the vampire.

Spike looked nervously at Faith. "Just happened by."

"That's definitely not true, why were you here?"

Spike sighed and hopped up on the counter, "I was looking for Faith. Hadn't seen her in a few days, wanted to make sure she was OK."

"What do you mean you hadn't seen me?"

"I've been… keeping an eye on you. I saw you at that fight club, knew you were getting yourself into trouble." Spike shrugged and sipped at a mug of blood.

Realization dawned on Buffy, "you brought her home the other night. Left her on the porch?" Buffy moved closer to Spike, and he stood up from the counter. She considered the situation, she could yell at Spike for not telling them what he knew Faith was doing. Mostly, she was far too grateful that Faith was still alive to be angry.

"Well... yeah." Spike shrugged nervously.

"Thank you." Buffy shocked everyone, including herself by hugging the vampire. "Thank you for tonight too." Spike stiffened and took a step back when Buffy let him go.

"Is Kendra going to come back, do we need to do a disinvite?" Tara asked.

"No, she's dust," Buffy responded and looked around the room. She took a deep breath as she thought about everything she wanted to say to them.

"Things have to change." She started, everyone looked up at her questioningly. "To start, we need better vampire invite protection on where everyone lives. No more accidentally letting in vampires - and maybe you can figure out how to replicate the magic in this ear cuff, we all need to be able to detect the First." She motioned to the witches who looked to each other a little confused. "And we're going to start having dinners together, Xander, Anya, and Giles too. We've all been too focused on our own lives and let our group fall apart. And I'd like you two to move in with us."

She started pacing as she continued to talk. "We need a plan for when Kara, Kennedy and the potential slayers get here. There's probably going to be even more of them showing up. We need a place for them all to live and a place for training. And maybe there's something we can do to protect the Hellmouth.. maybe..."

"Um, Buffy? Aren't you being a little… commandery?" Willow asked disrupting Buffy's flow.

Buffy stopped and blinked at her, "did you miss everything we just learned? The First Evil has the advantage. Wesley has been feeding it who knows what information, it even managed to infect a potential slayer. We have to do more to protect ourselves and the world."

"Yeah... but…"

Buffy sighed, trying to contain her frustration. Willow, of all people, should not be fighting her on any of this. "I didn't mean we had to do all these things tonight, or even in the next month. Just that we need to start focusing more on fighting the First Evil." Faith was by her side, she couldn't read Tara, but Willow seemed to be unconvinced.

"You don't understand how dangerous the First is." Buffy started and then looked to Faith for direction.

Faith sighed, "the whole reason I was sent back - was to stop it. After we were, wherever we were - we ended up in a future where the First had figured out how to open the Hellmouth. It had taken over the earth."

"Pretty much all humans were imprisoned or dead. We can't let that happen again." Buffy held close to Faith and hoped that this would convince Willow of how important this was without having to explain too much more.

"How could you not have told us this before?!" Willow asked with outrage, and Buffy sighed.

"Probably the same reason that Tara didn't tell us she was Faith's cousin, or that you didn't tell me what you found out about Faith."

"That's totally different." Willow started to argue.

"It's always different, what I'm saying is that we all have reasons why we might not reveal something. And sometimes, they're very good reasons - so we need to trust each other. If we're going to make sure the First doesn't open the Hellmouth, we have to work together. We can't forget who we are and what we're meant to be doing."

"But.." Willow started to argue.

"I think she's right." Tara chimed in, and Buffy was shocked to get support from Tara - especially in opposition of Willow. "I mean.. the Keepers are the reason why Faith remembered, and no one else did... right? So we should probably trust that. If I had tried to tell Faith I was her cousin sooner... I'm not sure things would have worked out the way they did."

Buffy looked at Willow and waited to see if she had any argument left in her. Willow frowned but nodded. Buffy let out a massive sigh of relief. "The main thing I want to change is us, you two are our best friends, but we hardly ever see you."

Willow sighed, "yeah. We have sort of drifted apart. It would be good to fix that."

"Plus, we have a wedding to plan!" Buffy grinned and hugged Faith tight to her. She was not at all prepared for the vampire that she had forgotten was even in the room to attack her.

Spike ripped Buffy away from Faith and threw her into the wall. "She was supposed to be mine!" The initial attack happened fast, but he did not get a chance to strike her again. He was flung into the door, a stake pressed to his heart by Faith.

"Dawn, go upstairs." Buffy took the time to say before standing back up, she was relieved when the girl actually listened.

"No! I didn't mean to!" Spike was yelling and twisting in Faith's grip. He was doing the bizarre thing that Buffy hadn't seen him do in over a year. Making nonsense noises and smashing his head into the door behind him.

"Spike? Calm down, what is going on?" Faith asked, but before Spike could answer, he grabbed her hand with the stake in it and drove it into his chest. "I don't understand? What just happened? I thought Spike had a soul and he saved me. Why would he do this?" Faith was looking down at the pile of dust. Buffy could feel the wave of confusion pouring off of Faith, it was so strong she could barely figure out what she felt about what happened herself. It took her several moments to gather herself enough to speak.

Buffy looked to Tara and Willow who seemed just as confused. "Do you think Wesley gave him his soul when he was in the Initiative?"

"It's possible, he would have had access to the same spell I used to re-ensoul Angel... but I don't know about what just happened." Willow frowned.

"I was supposed to meet him at the Bronze when David took me. Do you think..." Faith trailed off, and Buffy's heart broke.

"Tara?" Buffy noticed that Tara's brows were furrowed, "do you know something about this?"

"No. I was just thinking about when we found him. I don't even know what drew me down there." Tara shook her head, "maybe something tricked me." Her words were almost a whisper, she seemed just as distraught about this turn of events as Faith did.

"Maybe we'll find something to explain what happened in his crypt." Buffy moved closer to Faith, wanting to comfort her, but not quite sure to make of things yet.

"Speaking of finding things... did you find anything at David's?" Faith had finally turned away from the pile of dust and seemed to be back in control of her emotions.

Willow nodded, "we brought everything to the dining room."

"Oh!" Buffy had forgotten all about David. "The manager demon-guy told me about David. One - totally a demon and two, you didn't kill him."

"I didn't?" Faith's relief washed over Buffy at the news.

"Well... you sorta did. But they have a policy about letting anyone fighting against their will - stay dead."

"So he might come back to cause trouble?"

Buffy shook her head, "it turns out that he was not well liked. He had been strong-arming everyone, claiming that he was invincible - once you proved that it wasn't true... his enemies took care of the rest."

Faith frowned, Buffy could tell she still didn't feel great about what happened, but at least they didn't have to worry about the police being an issue.

"Do you think you remembered the rules, and that's why you took him there?" Buffy probed gently, she needed Faith to see that she wasn't a murderer, to really believe it.

Faith ran her fingers through her hair, Buffy could feel her confused emotions and waited for Faith to decide how she felt.

"It's possible. I must've known that at some point." Faith didn't really seem totally relieved at the situation, which Buffy completely understood. She tried to convey her support over the link and was relieved when it appeared to be helping.

"So, umm... we grabbed everything that looked remotely mystical," Willow commented, and led them into the dining room.

Buffy's eyes swept over the table and frowned, none of it meant anything to her. Faith fixated on a wooden box and moved to open it.

"Figures." Faith hissed, showing Buffy the contents of the box before closing it back up.

"Do you know what that is?" Tara asked.

"It's just a knife," Buffy explained, placing her hand on Faith's and trying to keep herself calm. Sure, it was just a knife. Just the one that symbolized all of their worst moments. A knife she had definitely never wanted to see again.

"Yeah, just a knife," Faith agreed and accepted Buffy's comfort while she continued to look over the items on the table. "So what does any of this mean? Is that my blood?" There were five tubes of blood amongst the papers and other random magical junk on the table.

"We'd have to compare it to yours, but we're pretty sure it's human." Willow picked up a few of the documents and sighed, "we think he was planning on using it to do something to the Hellmouth. Most of this is in a language that we can't identify, but some of these drawings look familiar."

"Great. But maybe he didn't get to do what he was going to? It seems like we'd know if the Hellmouth was open." Buffy could see recognition flare on Faith's face as she looked through the other documents on the table. She picked up a stack of envelopes and frowned. Buffy guessed that those envelopes contained more letters from Faith's step-mother.

Buffy was horrified at the idea that someone would probably need to read them. If Faith's step-mother had been conspiring with David, there could be something useful in them. Faith was clutching the stack tightly, Buffy could feel Faith straining as she decided what to do. Finally, Faith blew out a breath and shoved the stack towards the witches. "Maybe there's something useful in here."

Tara gently took them, "are you sure? We don't know that she had anything to do with what happened."

"I'm sure. If they were working together, there's probably something that will help in those letters."

"OK, if you're sure." Tara took the stack but made no move to open them.

"We stopped by to visit the Keepers after finding all this... hoping they'd at least tell us something about the blood." Willow started to explain. "They weren't helpful."

Buffy growled at the mention of the Keepers. "Are they ever?" Buffy asked and then immediately felt terrible. If it wasn't for them Faith wouldn't even be here right now. "I'm sorry, I know how much they've done for us. I just wish they could tell us more, that you didn't have to go through everything you did."

Faith looked back down at the items they collected from David and took a deep breath. "I get it. It'd be nice not to have to learn every lesson the hard way. But at least we're all here, and whatever they were trying to do probably didn't work. And we even got a new slayer out of the deal."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "a very annoying, bratty slayer. Do I even want to know what she said that made you hit her?"

"No, probably not," Willow said, and Faith growled low so only Buffy could hear. "I'm pretty sure she knows her place now, though."

Buffy didn't really like that answer, but she accepted it. "So tomorrow, we'll check out Spike's crypt and see if there's anything there. You two will come over after to school to go over what we found?" She motioned to the witches, and they agreed.


	36. Chapter 36

**Faith**

Faith slowly poked around Spike's crypt. Buffy had wanted her to wait until she was done with work, but she couldn't just sit around the house. She had to do something to feel useful, to maybe find out why Spike had attacked Buffy. The moment replayed over and over for her. She was holding him with the stake to his chest - with no intention of staking him. Then he pulled her closer and looked into her eyes, she thought she could see sorrow and misery in them - then he was gone. She had been too shocked to react in time to will her weapon away.

Nothing in all the nights they spent patrolling together had he done or said anything to make her question him. But there had to be something.  _ If he was in on whatever the First Evil had plotted for me, I should have seen something. _

She kicked at the couch in frustration, before dropping onto it. Spike's crypt was practically bare. There were a few empty bottles of whiskey and a few crumpled packs of cigarettes, but nothing else. She had never spent much time in his crypt, but she didn't remember it being quite this empty.

"Find anything?"

The sound of Buffy's voice from the open doorway almost made her jump out of her skin. "Nah, doesn't seem to be anything here at all." Faith frowned and wrapped her arms around her midsection. Faith was struggling with her feelings, feeling a bit lost - which is something she hadn't had to deal with in a long time. She knew she completely had Buffy's love and support, but she still felt unsettled by everything that was happening.

Buffy let out a small scoff as she entered the crypt, Faith watched as she examined the area as if she didn't believe Faith really searched. "Do you remember seeing him last week?"

Faith frowned, not wanting to think about last week - but needing to make sure that she didn't miss something. "Not really... just that one time in Willy's."

"But he was following you. He saved you. How could you not remember seeing him?" Buffy argued back.

Faith ran her fingers through her hair. Searching through everything that happened, she couldn't think of any time she had seen Spike. "I don't remember seeing him."

Buffy scoffed again, a little louder this time. "Or you just don't want to tell me the truth."

Faith went through a range of emotions before she finally realized what was happening. The thing in here with her - was not Buffy. She was annoyed with herself for not realizing it immediately. "I don't know what you want me to tell you. I don't remember seeing him."

"You look pretty comfy in here, maybe all those late nights you were supposedly patrolling with him - you were really here instead?"

Faith knew it wasn't Buffy, but the accusation still stung. She let her face and posture show the shame she was feeling.

Buffy grinned, "I didn't want to believe it, I thought we had something real - but your mother was right about you wasn't she? You give yourself away to anyone. Even a lifeless vampire!"

Faith growled and stood up, her fists clenched at her side.

"That's right, give in to the anger. Show me who you really are!" Buffy leered at her, looking supremely confident.

Faith immediately softened at seeing the triumph in Buffy's face, "damn."

"What's the matter, Faith? Can't handle the truth?"

"Nah, just wish I was a better liar. I wanted to play along with you a bit longer, see if I could get you to tell me something useful."

Buffy sputtered, "what are you talking about? Have you lost your mind?"

"Probably," Faith took the stake out of her pocket and tossed it at Buffy, a wry grin forming as it passed right through her to clank to the ground.

Buffy roared, "how did you know!?"

Faith stood with her arms crossed and watched the fury on the First's face.

"Faith? Are you OK?" The real Buffy was in the crypt now, in her terrible Doublemeat Palace uniform. She ran to Faith and wrapped her in a hug.

"Yeah, B. I'm fine. Sorry, I made you come down here."

"Don't be sorry, what happened? Did you find something?"

Faith nodded her head towards the First, who was standing with her arms crossed over her chest and a very smug look on her face. It really disturbed Faith to see Buffy looking at her that way. "Got a visitor I wasn't expecting."

Buffy turned to look, "umm... what?"

"You don't see it?"

The apparition of Buffy grinned a nasty, toothy grin, a look that Faith didn't think was possible with Buffy's face. "What's the matter, Faith? Starting to doubt yourself?"

The Buffy in her arms pulled her tighter, "no, I don't see anything."

"Well, that's just great." Faith shook her head and ignored the taunting of the First, "I didn't find anything in here. It looks like someone cleaned it out."

Buffy's eyes swept over the barren area, "hmm. Where do you think he slept?"

"Maybe in there?" Faith and Buffy walked over to a large cement coffin. They pushed at the lid, surprised when the entire thing shifted to reveal a hole with a ladder.

The First was screaming at Faith now, but Faith ignored it. She considered telling it to shut up but didn't want to give it the satisfaction of knowing how annoying it was.

"This is disturbing." Buffy let out a gasp, Faith dropped down next to her and shuddered.

"Damn. Where did he get all this stuff? How did I have no idea!?" The cavern walls were covered with pictures of Faith. There was even a dummy wearing Faith's clothes with a brown wig. There were pictures of her from all over town, at work, shopping, and even at home in the yard. It was a small relief that none were from inside the house.

"A lot of these pictures are during the day... how did he take them?"

"David, maybe? He was probably part of whoever was watching me before." Faith shivered as she imagined how people have been following her around all this time.

"Is that thing down here with us?" Buffy asked, taking a step closer to Faith.

"Yeah, it seems to think I care what it has to say."

"We should just get out of here."

Faith shook her head, "let's grab as much of this as we can." Faith considered taking her clothes off the dummy but immediately dismissed that idea. The slayers picked up anything that had writing. Buffy pulled down all the pictures of Faith and added them to their growing pile. "We don't really need those do we?"

"No... but I don't want to leave them here, and maybe there will be something to tell us who took them. If there's anyone else involved, we need to know."

"Yeah, OK." Faith was digging around next to Spike's bed when she found three full vials of blood and two empty ones. She groaned and then added them to what they were taking.

"You know you can't stop me. You can't get rid of me. There's nothing you can do, no where you can go that I can't get to. I will eventually break free, I will kill everyone you care about, and there is nothing you can do about it." The First smirked at Faith, who stared through her and didn't visibly react at all to its words.

"Think we got everything?" At Buffy's nod, Faith helped her up through the opening and handed Buffy their haul. She took one last look around the cavern and shook her head before climbing out.

They loaded everything into the car and climbed in. "Do you need to go back to work?"

Buffy shook her head, "told them I had a family emergency and that I wasn't coming back."

"Are you sure?" Faith was relieved, she really didn't want to be alone right now - but she didn't want to be obvious about how unsettled she was until the First finally left her alone.

Buffy smiled and caressed Faith's cheek, "I'm sure. We've got a lot to go over, and that place is kinda awful." Buffy was washing her with her love and support, pushing the emotions over their connection. All of her insecurities were driven away as she felt it.

She started the car, and as soon as it began to move, she could no longer see or hear the First. "Thank god." She pushed out a breath, and her body finally relaxed, she didn't even realize how tense she had been before.

"It's gone?" Faith nodded, trying to keep herself together enough to not crash the car. "Who was it? What did it say?"

"You, of course. It didn't say a whole lot, I tried to keep up the charade once I knew it wasn't you - but I didn't last very long."

Buffy sighed, Faith could see out of the corner of her eye that Buffy's face was scrunched up. "I understand if you don't want to tell me, but I felt what it did to you."

Faith silently cursed herself, she had been working on not shielding so much from Buffy, and she had been taken off guard. "I'm sorry you had to feel that. Really, I'm OK."

Buffy stiffened, "do you... resent me for not being better at shielding my emotions from you?"

"Where the hell did that come from? Of course not. I love knowing what you're feeling and being able to help you with whatever is stressing you out."

Buffy let out a little chuckle, and then Faith smacked her forehead. "Ok, so I'm kinda dumb sometimes."

"You're not dumb. I know you still struggle with believing people feel the same way about you, that you do about them."

"Seems like I should be over it by now." Faith frowned and tried to focus on driving and not feeling bad for herself.

"I'm not sure it's something you can just get over. It takes time."

Faith held her breath for a second before they turned down Revello drive. "It wasn't so much what it said. I was sitting there, feeling like an idiot for not knowing something was up with Spike. I went there, hoping to find some kind of answer to make it make sense. When it was empty, I just kept replaying last night over and over, trying to understand how he looked so sad when he staked himself. Trying to understand why I wasn't fast enough to stop him."

Faith pulled into the driveway and turned the car off, taking a quick look around to make sure the First hadn't reappeared. "Then that thing showed up and accused me of knowing more about Spike than I admitted." She paused for a deep breath. "She accused me of having sex with him, even before last week."

Buffy giggled, and Faith gave her an incredulous look. "Oh, god, I'm sorry. Nothing about that was funny. Just... the idea that you could have been with Spike - it's a little absurd. I mean, I know he was obsessed with you, but still..." Faith couldn't figure out what she felt about Buffy's reaction.

"That wasn't really the part that bothered me," Faith frowned and looked down at her hands.

"I'm not off to a good start with this being supportive thing, but let me try again?" Buffy turned Faith's face gently, "nobody had any idea what Spike was up to. Please don't blame yourself for that. We all spent tons of time with him, and maybe you spent more - but I never saw anything at all that made me even slightly question him. It was always a little annoying how crazy he was about you, but everyone is crazy about you - so I've learned to just ignore that."

"You knew he was obsessed with me before we found that stuff? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I didn't know it was obsession level until today." Buffy paused, "Faith... pretty much everyone who meets you is into you. If I pointed it out every time, I'd drive us both crazy."

"That's not true. Not everyone..."

Buffy smiled, "no, not everyone. Mostly everyone. And you never even seem to notice, so I don't let it bother me - not anymore anyway."

Faith frowned harder.

"Look, this isn't really the point. The point is that you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't make a mistake. Last week, you could have caused so much damage. You could have done anything you wanted. And what you wanted to do, was kill demons and hide out in our bedroom when you didn't think I was there."

"You knew I was doing that?" Faith had been sure she hadn't been caught hiding out in their room.

Buffy nodded, "whatever they were trying to get you to do, you didn't do it. Because even though they used magic on you to try and break you, you didn't break. The you that's  _ you _ is stronger than anyone I've ever known. The First is after you because it knows you can beat it, and it's terrified of you."

Faith melted into what Buffy was saying and sending her over their connection.

Buffy smiled and kissed Faith. Faith was now seeing how useful it could be to share her emotions more fully with Buffy. Sure, she would have worked through this on her own eventually, but this way was definitely better. She even got to feel the added benefit of Buffy being happier for helping her.

"Willow and Tara should be here soon. Hopefully, something in what we brought will make sense to them."

They were grabbing the items they had collected from Spike's as a car pulled up behind them, Faith figured it was Willow and Tara and didn't turn around until she was tapped on the shoulder. The panic and fear that assaulted her almost brought her to her knees.

"Faith? What..." Buffy's voice caught in her throat at the sign of the uniformed officer standing in front of them.

"I really need to talk to you." The officer said and motioned towards the house, "can we go inside?"

"What's this about?" Buffy asked and put herself between the cop and Faith. Faith could barely form thoughts, nevermind find the strength to explain why she was so panicked.

"I'm not here to cause trouble. I just want to make sure everything is OK... that you won't be after me too."

"What are you talking about?"

Things began to coalesce in Faith's mind, and she was able to calm. "It's OK, B. Let's get inside, see what he has to say." She put what she was carrying back into the trunk, not wanting this man to see it.

The cop held his hat in his hand and shuffled nervously in the living room. "Look - David... he made me follow you around. I didn't want to do it, but I had no choice. Now he's gone... so you don't have to worry about me anymore."

"Why did he have you following me?" Faith crossed her arms over her chest, hoping to look intimidating.

"I don't know. I swear. He never told me anything. After what I saw... I thought all that stuff about magic and demons was ridiculous... but what they did to him... " The cop was clearly terrified and looked like he might burst into tears at any moment.

"What did you see?"

"I don't even know. David called me to pick him up, but I guess I took too long. There were these things.. and they... They ripped him apart." The man was shaking as he explained.

"We're not going to come after you." Faith felt kinda bad for the guy, he may not have been her favorite person, but he seemed pretty genuinely freaked out.

The man sighed deeply. "Thank you. And don't worry about the investigation. Some people saw you together the night that David disappeared, but I took care of it."

Faith stood stoically, not quite sure what the right play was. Did the cop think Faith sent the demons to kill David? If he was going to protect her, maybe she shouldn't care what he thought. It could be better for them that he was afraid of her.

"Well, thank you for telling us about this. And you don't have to worry. We're not interested in hurting you." Buffy said after a few moments of nervous silence.

The cop turned and ran from the house.

"Faith?"

"That was the guy that kidnapped me, the first time."

Buffy's eyes widened, and her anger assaulted Faith. "Why did we just let him go?"

"He... was kinda nice, I guess. He didn't hurt me -when he easily could have... and it seemed like he was just scared of David. Besides, he's human. What can we do?"

Buffy huffed, "can we trust him that the police won't come after you?"

Faith frowned and shook her head, "I don't know."

"We'll get through it, whatever happens." Buffy hugged Faith and kissed her. "We'll get through it, together."

Faith smiled and nodded, "let's go get the stuff from Spike's. At least now we know who was taking those pictures."

They were spreading everything out on the table as Willow and Tara showed up. They gave them a rundown of everything that had happened during their visit to Spike's.

"Most of this is...poetry." Tara grimaced as she read through the stack of papers they'd found. "I think it's about Faith."

"That's probably not helpful." Buffy and Faith both shivered. It seriously creeped Faith out that she had no idea that Spike was so obsessed with her.

"We did find something in those letters." Willow chimed in. "We know what David was going to do with your blood."

"Oh?" Faith was excited to maybe be finding something useful out finally.

"Human blood affects the Hellmouth and can be used to link the First Evil to someone. Depending on the ritual, and the subject of the sacrifice, different things can happen."

"Great, so that's probably why I'm the only one it's harassing?" Faith rolled her eyes. The First was quite possibly the most annoying thing that had ever existed. She was somewhat relieved to think it was only annoying her. She didn't want anyone, especially Buffy, to have to deal with seeing the First's version of her.

"We can't know for sure, but that could explain it. Is it here now?" Willow glanced around the room, even though she wouldn't be able to see it.

Faith looked over to the corner, "it hasn't shut up. Telling us how we're never going to stop it. blah blah blah."

The First as Buffy glowered at Faith. Faith was almost enjoying how annoyed it would get that she was ignoring it. She just hoped she could keep this up while they figured out some way to get rid of it. At the least, she wanted to come up with some way to convince it to stop appearing as Buffy.

xxxxx

Shortly after the trip to Boston, potentials began showing up in Sunnydale, and the Summers' home was quickly overrun. They decided to take over Angel's old mansion as their base of operations. Buffy, Faith, Dawn, Willow, and Tara staying at Revello drive to catch any new potentials who arrived and to keep some level of normalcy in their lives.

It had become a massive operation. An army of forty potential slayers, three full slayers, five witches, and ten watchers training constantly. Faith's new found wealth and support from the council providing everything they needed. They had given the watchers all the material they had collected, but they aren't able to come up with any information beyond what they had already figured out.

The First had been relentless, sending its bringers to attack, he seemed to have an unending supply of them. Every night they would patrol the town in groups and take out as many as they could, along with whatever vampires or demons were stupid enough to stay in town.

It was a night like any other. They were out in three groups, each led by a slayer. Bringers surrounded Faith, every time she would cut down one, another two would appear it's in place. She was starting to get very annoyed. Her team of five potentials was fighting valiantly by her side, but they were making no progress. She could feel Buffy and her team getting closer and began to relax slightly. Sweeping through five more bringers with her magical sword of fire.

With Buffy and her team approaching the hoard of bringers from behind, the number of enemies finally started to thin. There were only a few remaining when Faith heard a monstrous howl. She turned to the sound and looked on in horror as a hideous vampiric creature with long claws struck out at Buffy, slicing her midsection. Buffy dropped her weapons and held her hands to her stomach as her innards and life began to spill out.

Faith reacted instantly, tearing through everything in her path. Slicing through the monster without a thought and kneeling at Buffy's side. She pressed her hands to her stomach and pushed every bit of herself into their connection. All the time, wailing in her head for Tara and Willow to help. Buffy's eyes were wide with confusion and terror. She was staring at Faith as tears slid down her cheeks.

Faith was completely unaware of everything happening around her. All of her focus on Buffy and begging someone, anyone to save her. Her body jerked as a sword stabbed through her back and stuck out of her stomach. Darkness was starting to close in on her, but she fought it off. There was no way she could die before knowing that Buffy would live.

Faith barely notices Willow appear a few feet from the pair. Willow moved quickly, but to Faith, it seemed like slow motion. It felt like a lifetime, but only a few seconds passed before they were both healed.

The slayers wrapped each other in a tight hug and cried. Willow transported them all back home without comment.

"Are you ok?" Faith asked once she was finally calm enough to form a thought. They hadn't at all released their tight grip on each other.

"I feel kinda weird. But I'm OK." Buffy scrunched her face, which normally Faith found cute, but she was seriously freaked out at the moment.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, I just feel… different."

Faith couldn't quite get a read on what Buffy was feeling. They were both still filled with adrenaline from the very near death.

"Bad different?" Faith asked, pulling slightly away to get a better look at Buffy's face. This was by far the worst wound Buffy had been healed from. Faith had been healed from some pretty severe injuries, but she was not quite herself at the time and didn't remember feeling any different afterward.

Buffy smiled and shook her head, "no. Kind of an amazing different."

"Woah." Tara gasped as she entered the living room, dropping the drink she had been carrying.

"Tara? What's wrong? What are you seeing?"

"Um… I'm not sure." Tara looked nervously between the two slayers.

"This isn't one of those things you can't tell is for our own good, is it?" Faith asked, shifting so she was sitting more beside Buffy, wanting to be able to face Tara without losing any contact with Buffy.

"It's not a secret. I just don't understand what I'm seeing."

"Try to explain." Faith tried to stay calm, finding it difficult to control the fear that something terrible might have happened to Buffy.

Tara sat on a chair across from the slayers. "Everyone has a unique essence, an energy that represents who they are."

"OK…" Faith watched her nervously, not at all able to read the situation.

"It looks like Faith's essence is now somehow inside Buffy." Tara waved her hand, gesturing at Buffy's midsection.

Buffy placed her hand on her stomach, rubbing it lightly. "Oh."

"Oh? Oh, what? What did you just figure out?" Faith asked, looking frantically between Tara and Buffy. Buffy was calm now, which began to settle Faith, but she still had no idea what was going on.

Buffy smiled and led Faith upstairs without saying anything. She changed out of her bloody clothes and sat down on the bed, motioning for Faith to sit next to her. "This is something we never talked about… but have you ever thought about having kids?"

"B? What the hell are you talking about? Why are you asking about that now?"

"I think…" Buffy put her hand on her stomach again, unable to actually say the words.

Realization finally dawned on Faith as she stood up and paced around the room, trying to figure out how she felt about this. She could feel Buffy's eyes on her, but she was too wrapped up in her own feelings to figure out how Buffy felt at the moment. It was chaos inside her mind. The idea that somehow she was going to be responsible for bringing a new life into this world was a lot to handle.

The complete insanity that their lives had been lately left no room for raising a child. The past two months, they were in constant war mode, either training or fighting. There was never a spare moment to think about anything else.

There had never been a time in her life when she thought about this situation. It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to have children, she just never even considered it. Now that she was forced to, she felt intensely calm. Her pacing stopped, and she turned to face Buffy, kneeling before her.

"You're going to fight me on making you stay out of this battle, aren't you?"

"Until I'm too big to move." Buffy grinned, pulling Faith up, so they were both standing.

"We're not splitting up our teams anymore though. We need to find out what the hell that thing was, and you need better weapons." The wheels in Faith's head starting turning, they had a timeline now. They would have to be both more aggressive and more careful.

Buffy nodded her agreement and leaned into Faith.

"This is completely insane. You know that, right?" Faith asked while chuckling.

"Completely." Buffy agreed.

"As long as we agree." Faith smiled and kissed her.

"Come on. We probably need to get back. There were still a lot of bringers." Buffy pulled away and started towards the door, but Faith stopped her before she could get there.

"While you were dying, I sorta went on a rampage on my way to you. I'm sure the potentials and Kennedy took care of whatever was left." Her phone buzzed in her pocket, "see? Just got the all clear."

"But we need to know what that thing was," Buffy whined, but Faith could see she didn't mean it. She was looking at Faith, just waiting for her to give a reason why they shouldn't leave this room.

"Plenty of people saw that thing, and that's why we have the research team. I have some of my own research to do." Faith grinned and pulled Buffy close.

"Tsk tsk. Shirking your responsibilities already? I thought I taught you better than this, Faith." Diana appeared in the room with them. Glowering disapprovingly at Faith.

Faith rolled her eyes at the apparition. The First had not stopped randomly appearing to annoy Faith. It continued only showing itself to her, appearing as her watcher, her step-mother, Buffy and even herself. She didn't know why it didn't give up. It never had any effect on her. It was seriously killing her mood at the moment.

"You're seeing it again, aren't you?" Buffy asked when Faith pulled away.

"Yeah." Faith sighed.

"Don't you want to know why you're the only one who can see me?" Diana asked while circling the pair. Turning into Faith part way through her circuit. "It's because you're batshit crazy!"

Faith closed her eyes and pressed herself further into Buffy. It had been over two months, and she was getting tired of dealing with it, but she was still relieved that it was only appearing to her.

The First laughed, "you can't really believe that this is your life. That you have this amazing life and now you're going to have a kid. There's no way I'm dumb enough to believe that shit. Come on, Faithy, smarten up. You know you're really strapped to a bed somewhere, pumped full of drugs or maybe in a coma, dreaming up this fantasy world. You can't believe it's real. That somehow she loves you, that somehow anyone could possibly care about a piece of shit like you?"

Faith raised her head and looked up at the sneering evil version of herself. Clad in tight leather pants and a red tank top. Dark makeup on her eyes and lips. It struck her as interesting, that version of herself was once real and would be entirely right that she could never have this life.

But she was no longer that broken girl and hadn't been for a very long time. She ignored the damaged version of herself and kissed Buffy. Focusing all her thoughts and emotions on the woman in her arms. Having no doubts about who she was and what her life was meant to be.

They didn't bother trying to hide the pregnancy from the rest of the group. There were Wiccans besides Tara who would be able to tell, and if the First knew, there was no point in hiding it anyway. If there had been any doubts about the origin of Buffy's pregnancy, they were quickly dispelled by any who had witnessed the damage Buffy had taken that night.

They visited the Keepers, hoping to gain a new magical weapon for Buffy. The Keepers denied the request, but much to Buffy and Faith's chagrin, Kennedy was allowed to take the Scythe. The magical ax made Kennedy almost as powerful as Buffy and Faith had become. It did not grant her healing, but they had Willow to manage that.

Faith had grown to appreciate the new slayer over the past few months. She was an excellent fighter and seemed to really enjoy training the potential slayers. Something neither she nor Buffy particularly cared for.

After failing to gain any new weapons for Buffy, Faith had come up with another idea. She just wasn't sure if it was a good one or not. Faith flipped the business card around in her hand for several minutes. Holding the phone in her hand and trying to decide if this would improve their situation or make things worse.

"Watcha doing?" Buffy approached her from behind, wrapping her arms around her stomach and resting her chin on Faith's shoulder. Faith leaned into Buffy and smiled.

"Thinking about calling for reinforcements." Riley had left contact information after they had dismantled the Initiative. All of the soldiers involved were incredibly grateful and promised to help if they ever needed anything.

"Do you think they'll come?"

"I think so, if they can."

"Do it. The more, the merrier." Buffy placed a soft kiss on her cheek and headed into the kitchen.

A few days later Riley showed up in Sunnydale to join their war against the First. He brought with him a squad of fifteen soldiers. They could only stay for a few weeks, but while they were there, they helped teach them strategy. The slayers and potentials were excellent fighters, but they did not necessarily understand war.

Riley helped them reorganize their squads and patrol routines to maximize efficiency and reduce casualties. He even provided them with equipment and new technology to help them identify blind spots.

The Initiative was a completely evil organization, but they had developed technology for detecting demon signatures. Once they were able to get a signature on the bringers, they tracked them to their lair and destroyed large swathes of them. They were even able to setup remote detectors, letting them know when new bringers appeared or whenever someone approached the Hellmouth.

It had been very difficult to protect the Hellmouth without drawing attention to themselves. Principal Snyder was still the principal of Sunnydale High, and he never forgot his least favorite student or anyone associated with her. Buffy was incredibly surprised when she discovered that he was not, in fact, infested with the First. He was just the power-hungry, small-minded jerk he appeared to be.

Dawn had only made it two months as a freshman before they decided to pull her out of school. Principal Snyder would not leave her alone. He constantly harassed her and found excuses to give her detention or even suspend her. It was painful, but they decided to send her to a private boarding school. It gave the added benefit of keeping Dawn far away from the fight.

Even with all they had accomplished, Faith was still frustrated. As the months went on, she began to feel real panic. The panic became even worse once they discovered that Buffy was pregnant with twins. They couldn't keep this fighting up forever. She had considered trying to send Buffy away, but quickly saw the futility of that plan. There wasn't a chance that Buffy would leave without her.

Finally, they had caught a break. She had worked out a plan with Willow and Kennedy that she was pretty sure would cripple the First's hold on this dimension. Keeping Buffy out of it was extremely difficult, it was impossible to lie to her. Faith had managed to do it, even though she knew Buffy was aware they were plotting something.

Tonight was the night. They had convinced Buffy to stay in, Tara was going to stay with her, just in case anything went wrong.

Faith, Kennedy, and Willow crept through the old monastery. They could see the flickering candlelight just up ahead. Wesley's voice could be heard, chanting in Latin. Faith signaled for Kennedy and Willow to stop and spread out behind her. She was going to end this herself.

His back was to the opening, and he appeared to be unaware of their presence. Faith held her breath and slowly crept forward.

She raised her arm to strike out at him with her magical weapon when a metal cage dropped around her and her cohorts. She screamed and launched herself at the bars, attempting to reach Wesley with her sword. She watched in horror as the weapon disintegrated as it passed through the bars. When she tried to summon it again, she couldn't. Part of her arm brushed the bar of the cage, and it felt like it was tearing her apart.

Wesley hadn't even bothered to turn around yet. She was filled with rage at failing so completely. As the moments ticked by her anger started to subside, and she finally noticed that she couldn't feel Buffy's or Tara's energy anymore. She could still sense Willow and Kennedy, but nothing outside of the cage.

"I can't feel my magic." Willow whimpered, staring at her hands as if they'd betrayed her.

Wesley finally turned around, Faith saw his pitch black eyes and tried to stay strong under his intense glare. She reached through the bars to grab for him, she was careful not to let her skin touch the bars. He laughed and moved closer, letting her grab his shirt.

He violently tore her grip away, rotating her wrist until it snapped. She screamed at his strength and her weakness. He let her go, and she moved back as far as she could from the bars.

Wesley turned his attention to Kennedy, reaching in and grabbed hold of the Scythe.

Kennedy howled and held on with all she could. Wesley snickered and jerked the weapon forward, smashing her face into the bars. She collapsed to the ground, Willow moved to her side instantly, trying to wake her up, but was unable to.

Wesley was ignoring them now, holding the Scythe and admiring it. He laughed as he twirled it around. Faith wanted to throw herself at the bars again, but she knew the pointlessness of it - and she did not want to experience the intense pain she felt when she touched them.

"That's not yours!" She screamed.

"No. You are right about that. But it's not yours either." Wesley turned to place the weapon on an altar lined with candles.

Faith dropped to her knees. She hadn't felt so helpless in her entire life. This was different than anything that had happened to her before. She had failed. Failing hadn't meant anything to her until she fell in love with Buffy. She had never even considered that she wouldn't fail before then. Failure was her every moment.

But ever since she had figured out who she was and what mattered, she hadn't failed at anything. She had never even considered that she could fail. But now here she was, failing utterly. She had led her friends into a trap. She had left Buffy alone, the one thing she promised herself she would never do.

"Did you think I wouldn't know about your little plan?" The First as Buffy appeared in the doorway. Her arms crossed over her chest. Faith couldn't bring herself to look at it.

"Why do you always have to be her?" Faith whimpered to herself. Wanting more than anything not to have to be taunted by Buffy's face right now.

The First ignored her and began to circle the pedestal that currently held the Scythe. "Do you have any idea how long I've waited to get my hands on this?" Faith couldn't help herself, she watched Buffy move and run her fingers over the Scythe, not quite trying to touch it. Faith took a closer look and realized something wasn't right. It looked like First-Buffy usually did, but the features of Buffy were slightly different, a little rounder, her movements a bit less graceful. Anyone other than Faith would never have noticed these subtle differences.

She turned her attention back to Wesley. "Hey, Wes. What's the plan here? You gonna kill us or what? I'm getting kinda bored."

"Sorry, Faith. You don't get to die yet." Wesley moved closer to the cage, "but if you're bored, I can break some more of your bones, if you'd like."

She reached out through the bars, believing he would let her grab him again and he did. He grabbed both her wrists and squeezed, lifting her off the ground. She screamed in pain as her already broken wrist was injured further.

"No! You idiot!" Buffy's voice screeched through the cavern, Wesley turned his head in confusion, but it was too late for him.

The grip on Faith's wrists was gone, she fell heavily to the ground and was covered in a spray of blood.

"No!" The First screeched again, before distorting wildly and vanishing with a loud pop and a brilliant flash of light. Faith wasn't sure if anyone but she had seen what happened.

"Are you guys OK?" Buffy asked, standing over the pieces of Wesley's body. She had sliced him diagonally, from neck to hip. She prodded the body a few times with the Scythe.

"Not sure how OK anyone is. Don't touch the cage!" Faith had a chance to yell as Buffy was reaching out for the bars. "It's blocking magic off somehow, and it seems to pull the magic out of anything that touches it." Faith looked at her hand and frowned, she was really going to miss having her extremely powerful weapon.

Tara appeared behind Buffy, and they both began examining the room, looking for something that might work. Finally, they were able to trace the complicated latticework of chains above them to a crank in the wall. It took a lot of effort, but Buffy was able to turn it enough to lift the cage.

As soon as Faith was able to, she helped maneuver Willow and Kennedy out of the cage. It was agonizing work with her broken wrists, but this was all her fault. She could endure more pain to help get them out safely.

"I'm so sorry, B." Faith stood with her head down, "I should never have come out here. I put us all in so much danger."

"Shhh, Faith. It's OK. Everything is OK."

Faith held Buffy tight and barely noticed when Willow healed her arms.

"Um... did anyone else here that really loud sound after you killed Wesley?" Tara asked.

"You heard that?" A little hope was returning to Faith, "The real First was here, and it was pissed off. Then when you killed Wes, it sorta imploded."

"Do you think that means this worked? That maybe we stopped it?" Willow asked, they hoped that ridding the world of the First's vessel would weaken it. The next step was to perform a ceremony over the seal to break it's link to Faith.

Faith was doubtful, but she also liked to hope that maybe she didn't put them all in danger for nothing. "I never saw it do that before, so maybe."

"Let's get the hell out of here, this place gives me the creeps." Kennedy picked up the Scythe, and the five of them vanished.


	37. Chapter 37

**Faith**

The past two months, things had quieted down. They hadn't seen a single bringer, and the First hadn't even appeared to Faith to taunt her since they had taken Wesley out and performed the ritual over the Hellmouth. The army of potentials and watchers had been reduced to a skeleton crew, some of them returning to their lives or being dispatched to problem areas around the world.

Faith had a severe sense of foreboding. She was sure the end game was almost here. She did her best to hide her worry from Buffy but knew that it didn't work completely.

They were laying in bed, trying to enjoy the respite. Faith ran her hand gently over Buffy's very pregnant stomach. "I never imagined that I could have this life." She whispered the words, not even sure if Buffy was awake.

Buffy placed her hand over Faith's and sighed, "you're worried that it's going to end."

Faith sat up a little, "even if it does. Even if this doesn't last, I need you to know how happy I've been because of you."

"Nothing is going to happen." Buffy insisted.

"Promise me that you know. Please."

"Of course I know, Faith. You tell me every day, in a million different ways." Buffy reached out for Faith, she leaned into the comforting touch and closed her eyes. A knock at the front door shook her from the moment. She kissed Buffy gently before climbing out of bed. She didn't say anything. She didn't have to.

"Angel." Faith said calmly once she opened the door.

"Faith. Is Buffy here? I need to see her." Angel attempted to enter the house, only to find he wasn't invited.

"Sorry big guy, can't let you in, and she can't get out of bed." Neither of these things was entirely true, but there was no way she was letting a vampire, even if it was Angel, anywhere near Buffy. He had been helping them from LA. Feeding them information while continuing with his own battles.

Faith had not been in direct contact with Angel, but he had provided a lot of useful information, including the location of Wesley. Which she had long suspected was a setup from the start. Still, his information was right, and Wesley was gone. That is the only reason she tried to play nice with the vampire, but she was not taking any chances by letting him in the house.

"What do you mean you can't let me in? I have important information!"

"I'm sure you do, I'll come out, and you can tell me all about it."

"Just invite me in already!" Angel was always a little rude to Faith. He never tried to hide the fact that he felt the slayer wasn't good enough to be with Buffy. Angel had tried to help her the first time around, but the second time, he never showed anything but contempt for her.

"Can't. We had to up all the protections on the house. No vamps can get in without the witches say-so, and they aren't here." Faith shrugged as she moved outside to the porch. "So, tell me what's so important?"

Angel looked back to the door and frowned. He held a folder in his hand and seemed to consider what he should do. "I found a way to close the Hellmouth for good."

Faith perked up, permanently closing the Hellmouth had been the main focus of their research, but they had made no progress. "Oh, really. Do tell."

He frowned again, "where is everyone? Wouldn't it be better to tell everyone at once?"

"They're not around. I'm all you got." Faith sighed a little, making sure she looked frustrated that everyone had abandoned them. It was all part of the plan, having it appear that the group had disbanded, that the slayers were alone and vulnerable. It was risky, but they had all agreed that it was the best hope of drawing out the First.

A grin almost appeared on Angel's face, the hint of it was there long enough for Faith to catch it and for her to be sure of what she suspected. Angel leaned against the railing next to Faith and opened the folder. There were symbols and drawings on the pages, none of which meant anything to Faith.

"Ok, what am I looking at?"

Angel pointed to the image of a dagger, this image Faith did recognize. It was the same dagger she had almost been tricked into killing Willow with. "This weapon, we can use it to seal the Hellmouth."

"Where is it?" Faith hoped her voice didn't sound as shaky out loud as it did in her head.

Angel smirked and pulled the dagger out of an inner pocket of his trench coat. Faith swallowed at the sight but remained calm. "We should go tonight. It will be best to get this done now."

"You're sure? I can do this by myself? We don't need any magic or anything?" Faith was becoming nervous. She had no idea if that dagger was enchanted the same way as it was before, or what it would mean if it was.

"I can do what little magic we will need," Angel assured her.

"Ok, great. Lemme just go give B the good news, and we can head out." Faith re-entered the house, closing the door and running up the stairs.

"Who was at the door?" Buffy hadn't moved from her reclined position on the bed. She wasn't exactly bedridden, but the two lives growing inside her did make it very difficult to move.

"Angel." They had discussed many possible ways things might happen. Faith never wanted to say out loud that she thought Angel was almost certainly going to come back into their lives as an agent of the First. She swallowed hard. "He showed me some papers, telling me about a magical dagger that could close the Hellmouth for good." She had swiped the image of the dagger from Angel, and now she held it up to show Buffy, hoping she would recognize it.

"Oh." Buffy's face fell, and Faith's heart broke. It wasn't out of jealousy. They had been through far too much for that. It was only because Faith knew Buffy would always hold on to guilt for sending Angel away, even if it had been the right thing to do.

Buffy held her hand out to Faith. Faith kneeled next to the bed, holding her hand. "I love you completely, and I don't regret a single moment of our lives together."

"I know. I feel the same way." Faith tried to smile. She was too scared to have it be real. "I have to go. He's waiting." She leaned in and kissed Buffy while pouring all the love she had into their connection, feeling Buffy doing the same.

There was so much more she wanted to say, but they were never sure if they were being watched. Even though Faith hadn't seen the First since they did the ritual, she didn't fully trust that it was gone. Only when they were with the Keepers did they feel confident enough to strategize. "I'll be back soon, and this will all be over."

With all her willpower, Faith left Buffy alone in the house and followed Angel to his car. Her confidence faltering slightly. They had been waiting for some kind of end-game scenario for two months, and she began to worry it was a mistake to let this play out. She was putting a lot of faith in Tara who seemed convinced that a showdown was going to occur over the Hellmouth and that they would be able to win.

It didn't help that Tara wouldn't explain how they were going to win. Not for the first time, she doubted their agreement to keep secrets from each other.

"You know she'll always love me more than you, right?" Angel hit a button on his side of the car, Faith's seatbelt tightened, barely giving her the ability to breathe. She grunted against the pain, her arms were still free, and she flailed against him with her left arm as best she could, but he only turned and smirked at her. The wide seat giving him enough room to stay out of her reach.

"Hey baby, did you miss me?" She heard Buffy's voice in the back seat and groaned. She could have turned her head enough to see but didn't see the point. "You didn't really think I was gone, did you?"

Faith growled and fought pointlessly against her bindings.

"Don't tire yourself out. You have a lot of work to do!" Buffy's cheery voice was so close, and Faith was beyond fury.

"What do you want from me?" She growled out.

"It's simple, really, I need a new vessel, and you're going to be it."

"Like hell, I will! There's no chance I'd ever willingly accept you."

The First laughed, "too bad you don't have a choice. You're special, Faith. Not like all these other meat puppets. And since you stupidly went alone with Angel, there's no one to save you. Soon you will be mine, and you'll help me take over the world."

"I will never do that!" Faith fought harder, drawing on strength from Buffy, and the seat behind her began to crack.

Angel moved quickly, injecting her in the neck. Darkness began to cloud her vision. She used the last of her energy raising her middle finger to the backseat, and then she passed out.

Faith woke up slowly, careful to show no signs that she was now alert. She kept her eyes closed and concentrated on assessing her situation.  _ I'm really sick of waking up strapped to things. _ She was held, spread eagle to some sort of platform, suspended face down. She could feel the presence of at least one other person in the room.

Carefully opening her eyes, just enough to verify it was who she thought. She reached out to Buffy, letting her know she was ok. The response she felt was not entirely comforting. Buffy had been panicking and in distress. The babies were not due for another week, and she was worried that the stress could cause problems. She knew Kennedy, Willow, and Tara would be there for her though.

Faith focused on clearing her mind and not adding to the distress she knew Buffy was feeling. She could hear a steady dripping and a tightness in several locations across her torso. Knowing what she was going to see, she slowly opened her eyes. Her shirt had been torn open, and several shallow cuts across her midsection were allowing her life to fall from her and onto the seal she was suspended above. The seal they had tried so hard to protect. She watched in horror as it glowed more and more with each drop.

"Oh good, you're awake," the image of Buffy appeared below her. The face she loved smiling up at her with an evil sneer. "I wouldn't want you to miss this."

The seal started to shift, the points of the pentagram folding and creating an opening. Faith's eyes were focused on the horrors she saw trying to claw their way out. She didn't turn away when the shouting started. Hands were working to remove her from her bonds. She watched dispassionately as Angel's head was removed with the Scythe, wielded by Kennedy.

Once her blood stopped dripping on the seal, it stopped moving. Demons were still attempting to crawl out, Kennedy made short work of them.

The First crossed her arms and glared at the scene, Faith stared back at her.

"This isn't over." The First stated, "it will never be over."

Faith looked around the room and finally realized who was here. "What are you doing!? You left her alone!? This wasn't the plan! Go now!"

"Sorry, she's scarier than you are," Willow said, not budging an inch under Faith's intense glare. "She's at the hospital. Everything is fine."

"What? Why is she at the hospital!?" Faith stalked towards Willow.

"Ok.. maybe I was wrong about who was scarier." Willow shrunk away from Faith and tried to hide behind Tara.

"Willow, you should go. We've got this under control." Tara said calmly. "Take Kennedy with you."

"But.." Willow frowned and watched as Kennedy sliced another monster in half.

"Go. It'll be fine. Keep Buffy safe. She needs you more than we do right now."

Kennedy tossed the Scythe to Faith before they vanished. Faith had a moment of excitement as she began to wield the powerful weapon that she'd only held a few times. Faith had no idea what Tara's plan was, but she felt immense relief when Willow and Kennedy left. She could tell Buffy was in pain and needed her, but she also knew she had to be here. Being here, right now was what she was meant for.

She continued to swipe at any creatures crawling out of the partially opened seal, waiting for Tara to make her move.

"Do you know what this is?" Tara held out a small box in her hand, sliding the cover open slightly.

"Stop!" The First narrows her eyes. All movement of the creatures below the seal stopped. "You wouldn't!"

"I would. I will." Tara stands confidently, her mouth tight with determination.

"You'll lose everything. Everything that makes you special." The First replied, its voice shaking with fear.

"We'll be fine. You're the one who will lose everything!"

The First is clearly nervous now, "what about Faith? Don't you care what will happen to her?"

"What is that thing, Tara?" Faith moved cautiously to stand next to Tara. Keeping one eye on the seal in case any of the demons decided not to honor the First's commands.

"It's the end, to all this. It's the way to prevent the First from ever being set free." Tara says nervously, and Faith could sense that she was losing some of her confidence.

"It's so much more than that!" The First yells, "it's the end of all magic!"

Faith shrugs, Buffy had wanted to retire, this would help with that. "If no magic means no more you, then I'm all for it. Do it, Tara."

The First laughs, "you don't understand! The magic that's been protecting you all this time will be gone. All those memories that have been hidden from you will be returned."

Faith furrowed her brow.

"Did you think I showed all your memories to you? That was just a taste! I didn't want you to go completely insane, so I just gave you a few choice memories. The truth is so much worse than you can imagine."

The First transformed into the woman Faith had always believed was her mother and stalked closer. Faith scowled but kept eye contact.

"I bet you think all the things she did to you was because of me. You couldn't be more wrong. Now that she's dead, I know everything she did. She only finally came to me for help because she couldn't figure out how to kill you by herself."

Faith shook her head. Even if what this thing was saying was true, it didn't matter. She would easily sacrifice her sanity for the lives of everyone else. Buffy was about to give birth to her children. If she could make the world safe for them, there was nothing she wouldn't do.

"Do it."

"Are you sure? Maybe there's another way." Tara looked at the box in her hand.

"This was the whole point of everything, wasn't it? The Keepers gave you that, knowing we would end up here." Tara nodded sadly. "Do it."

"No! We can make a deal!" The First squealed, "I'll leave you alone. You'll never hear from me again!"

Faith laughed, "no deal. Though I do want to tell you something."

"What?" The First growled and paced.

"You already won once. You ruled this world entirely."

"What!? How? When?"

Faith giggled, nudging Tara. "Just wanted to see your face. Let's do this."

Tara took a deep breath and opened the box the rest of the way. Faith could already feel the magic pulling out of her. Tara took out the small black stone and screamed as she held it in her hand briefly before tossing it towards the seal.

Faith collapsed to the ground next to her, holding her head as magic is ripped out of her. She couldn't feel Buffy, Tara, or Willow. She couldn't feel anything. Her body felt slow and weak, that constant stream of power that had been part of her since she was called was gone.

Memories started flooding into her, but they weren't all bad memories. There were lots of new terrible memories. The First hadn't lied about that. Flashes of pain and fear, so much that it started to choke her. Other memories began to mix in with the fear. Calming voices telling her she was special. Her real parents and their smiling faces. Love, she was loved and cherished first by her parents and then by Buffy and her friends. The horrors she had experienced were still there, they still burned her, they twisted inside her and tried to unmake her.

She had learned so much though. She knew what to focus on. She knew what mattered. All those awful memories came from evil, and if she let them hurt her now, then evil would win. She was way too strong to let that happen.

She focused on one particular memory.

Xxxxx

Faith was in agony, she had thought she had known pain before, but nothing compared to this. Her shoulder felt like it was filled with glass, just breathing caused the joint to move and cause her immeasurable pain. Her head throbbed from the hours of continuous pounding. And her thigh, she had been trying to erase every memory of every touch by digging into it with the knife. She needed everything to stop. The blood pooled under her, and was soft and warm and conflicted with everything else she felt.

She saw the blood, and she wondered what the hell she was doing. This wasn't right. She had a way out. The pounding had stopped, her mother was gone. She tore her shirt and wrapped it around her leg. Grabbing the thin sheet from her bed and making a quick sling for her shoulder.

The wound on her thigh was superficial at this point, a few shallow cuts that had been just enough to wake her from her stupor. As she attempted to drag herself through the opening in the floorboards, her bindings caught on something. As she jerked her leg forward to pull it through, she impaled her thigh on a nail. The nail dug deep, and she bit her lip to keep from screaming. She carefully pulled herself off the nail and slid the rest of the way out from under the shed.

Then she ran. She ran through the woods until she reached the street. Collapsing to her knees as headlights appeared in the distance. Finally succumbing to the pain and blood loss, darkness overtakes her.

"Are you sure about this?"

"We have to do something!"

"Yes, but we don't know that this is the right something."

"Kara, I told you what I saw. We have to help her, and this will help her."

"You're talking about taking all of her memories! Even the good ones!"

Faith opened her eyes to see two women arguing over her. She remembered seeing one of them before. The woman had told her she was special, and that she was going to help her. She didn't help though, just like everyone else who said they would.

Faith began to laugh and tried to sit up. The pain reawakened in her shoulder, and she stifled a scream. Hiding pain was one of her many talents, she shoved the pain away and tried to figure out where she was and what to do next.

"Faith! Lay back down, please. You'll hurt yourself." The look of concern from this woman was very confusing. Faith chuckled and tried to move enough to get out of bed. She noticed then there were tubes in her arm, she wanted to yank them out, but her left arm wouldn't cooperate. She tried to use her teeth instead.

"What are you doing? Let us help you please."

"Don't need any help. Gotta get back before she finds out I'm gone." Faith's voice was flat and dispassionate.

"You don't have to go back there, Faith. You don't belong there." Faith was weak, and the woman was able to force her to lay back down.

"Yeah right, you just want to steal me and hurt me like everyone else. She's the only one who cares about me!" Faith yelled and tried to sit up again.

"That's not true, Faith. We want to help you."

Faith's bark of laughter startled the woman back, "heard that before. Nobody can help me. Just let me go!" Faith's movement had reopened the wound on her leg, and blood began to flow. Darkness overtook her again.

She opened her eyes to a warm smiling face. "How do you feel?"

Faith grunted and tried to twist away. When she realized she was bound to the bed, she began to panic. Thrashing wildly, but completely unable to move.

"Please, relax. I promise you I am not going to hurt you. You need to heal more, and you kept hurting yourself."

Faith narrowed her eyes, but knowing the futility of her situation, she stopped fighting.

"Do you remember meeting me before?"

Faith nodded.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I begged the council, but those arrogant bastards wouldn't listen."

"Whatever, can I go now?" Faith rolled her eyes.

"No, not quite. I want to tell you a story. Then, once you are healed enough, you can make your own decisions."

Faith frowned, "she's going to find me. Then we'll all be in trouble."

"She won't find you here, I promise. Even if she does, I will protect you." The woman brought over a tray of food. A large plate of pasta, covered in red sauce. It smelled amazing, and Faith's stomach rumbled in response. "If I let your arm out will you behave?"

Faith knew this game, food for favors. She was pretty sure this woman didn't want the kind of favors people usually wanted from her. If all she wanted was to talk, Faith would gladly take the trade. She nodded eagerly without taking her eyes off the food.

"Slow down. You'll get sick."

Faith smirked around her mouth full of food and didn't slow down at all. The woman only shook her head and gave up trying to intervene.

"My name is Diana. I am a Watcher. You are a potential slayer, one day you will become a full slayer, and it is my job to prepare you. You are going to save the world."

Faith stopped chewing for a moment and looked at this woman like she was insane.

"I know it's a lot to take in, but it's true. There is magic in this world, and you are part of that magic. You are incredibly important, and you are needed to fight evil." Diana's words were sincere, but Faith didn't believe them.

Faith swallowed what she had been chewing on and dropped her fork. "Pretty sure you got some bad info. I'm a worthless piece of garbage that can't do anything right. No way am I saving the world from anything."

Diana winced. "Are you sure about that? Does that feel right to you?"

Faith frowned and closed her eyes. "Don't know about feeling anything, facts are just facts."

"What if I could prove it to you?"

"How?" Faith had finished her plate of food and leaned back in the bed. She had no idea what was going on, but she was warm and full. So for the moment, she was content not to fight and listen to whatever this crazy woman had to say.

"I can show you."

Without waiting for Faith to respond, Diana leaned forward and pressed her fingers to Faith's forehead. Faith was overwhelmed by what she saw and felt. It took her several long moments to calm enough to speak.

"Is that real? I could…" Faith shook her head, a small smile on her face.

"You could, Faith. That could be you. I am sure your journey is going to be difficult. I don't know all that will happen that will lead you there, but it could be your life." Diana released the straps that had been holding Faith in place.

Faith looked the woman over carefully, "what do I have to do?"

Diana frowned a little, "you have to let me take your memories."

"What? Why?"

"Because if I don't, you'll go back to her." Faith frowned, she wanted to deny the claim, but she could already feel the itch in the back of her head, telling her she was upsetting her mother and she had to fix it.

"She used magic and conditioning on you. She built in triggers to get you to respond in a certain way. Taking your memories will erase those triggers so that she won't have a hold over you anymore. You'll be able to make your own decisions."

Faith looked at her leg and frowned. Having a good idea that what she was hearing was true, but part of her was fighting the truth. "How do you know all this?"

Diana sighed and leaned back, "Think about what happened tonight. How did you finally manage to leave that place? You've had the knife for months, but why tonight?"

"She caught me and said I was never going to get out again. It was so loud." Faith held her hand to her head as she remembered the pounding. "Then I... used the knife... and when I did, I suddenly felt free. I finally realized that I could leave."

"What you did with the knife broke the hold she has over you, we need to make sure it stays broken and that you stay free."

"I don't get to remember what you showed me?" Faith was disappointed. She didn't want to lose the feeling the vision of her future had given her.

Diana hesitated, "I am going to be honest with you. I always will. I don't know what you'll remember. I receive visions from the powers that be. They show me future events, and sometimes give me information to intervene when things aren't going to happen the way they should."

"Are you sure you're not crazy?"

Diana chuckled, "I'm sure. They told me where to find you, if I hadn't, you would have likely died on the side of the road."

Faith frowned and considered. If she had been told that a few hours ago, she would have laughed and said she should have died. But now… now she wanted a future. She wanted to meet the blond girl that would smile every time she saw Faith. She wanted to fight and kill demons. She wanted to win for once.

xxx

It had always bothered Faith, remembering what she had done to herself in the shed that night. She hadn't been allowed to see what happened after, but know she knew the truth. She hadn't truly given in to her mother's torture, like she had always thought.

Something had gone very wrong with Diana and Kara's memory spell. When Faith awoke, she had been left with no memory of what had happened to her or who she was, only the emotional residue from what her step-mother had done to her. All she knew was that she was worthless garbage that didn't deserve to live and that everyone was out to hurt her. She knew that no one could be trusted and that all anyone could ever want from her was to cause her pain.

She was filled with anger that she didn't understand and couldn't control. Her actions were detrimental and contrary. The worse something felt to her, the more she wanted to do it. It was a constant war inside her head, and neither side was winning.

She was combative and ran away constantly, only returning to Diana for the occasional meal and warm bed. Every time Diana would welcome her back, and never chastise her for her actions, even when she stole anything of value.

Things began to improve slightly once Faith was called as a slayer. Faith was no longer powerless, and the outlet of killing vampires gave her focus for her rage. She was actually slowly growing to trust Diana, and then Kakistos came and pushed her back into despair.

Meeting Buffy and killing Kakistos started to turn things around for her again, things were beginning to look up until the fateful killing of the deputy mayor. She'd gotten it right the second time. And now here she was, she had become the person Diana had shown her in the vision.

Smileing as she rose, she slmost wished The First was still there so it could see how it had failed. She helped Tara to her feet. Picking the Scythe up as well, she was amazed at how heavy it was. She wondered if she'd even be able to carry it while also helping Tara.

Tears were streaming down Tara's face, and Faith held her tight. "It'll be ok. We're going to be ok."

"It's gone. It's all gone." Tara was looking at her hands, flexing them as if she could will magic back into them.

Faith walked the witch slowly out of the high school. Everything was so much harder now that she was just a normal girl. The constant presence in her mind of Buffy, Willow and Tara were gone, and she ached for it to come back.

"Willow is going to be so upset," Tara choked out between sobs.

Faith sighed, "she'll understand, eventually. They all will. We had to. It was the only way to keep the world safe."

"Are you sure it was the right thing to do?" Tara had stopped moving and wouldn't budge.

Faith frowned and considered what to say. Tara was usually the one who knew how to make everything better. "What did the Keepers tell you when they gave you that thing?"

"Something about cycles - death, and rebirth." Tara's breathing was starting to calm, and Faith hoped that meant the girl would be OK.

"Rebirth?"

"Yeah, not sure what that means. They said without us, there wouldn't be any rebirth."

Faith tugged on Tara again, "c'mon. We need to get to the hospital. It'll be better once we're all together."

"Willow," Tara whispered. "It was her fault before? She's the one who set it free?"

Faith looked at Tara and nodded, it didn't matter now. There was no more magic, no more chance that Willow would open the Hellmouth and destroy the world. "It wasn't on purpose. She was trying to find B.". Faith wasn't even sure if this was true, but she doesn't want to completely destroy Tara's impressions on Willow.

Instead of seeming relieved, Tara held her head and groaned, "There's more, isn't there? She brought me back?"

Faith sighed, "I don't really know what happened. You didn't know, and we never got around to asking her about it. Once we managed to kick evil out of her... she felt pretty awful about it."

Tara frowned, "you were trying to save me from her."

"She asked me to. Before I was sent back, she asked me to keep you away from Sunnydale."

Tara sucked in a breath, "I don't think there's anything you could have done to stop me."

"I guess this was what was supposed to happen." Faith shrugged. Faith was anxious to get to the hospital quickly, but her weakened body was not cooperating. She knew Tara needed comfort, it was not something she was particularly good at, but Tara was important to her.

"Willow is not going to forgive me for this."

"Whatever happens, you know I've got your back. B too."

"You're not worried… about what we might find." Tara swallowed, and Faith could guess what had Tara worried. The babies were created from magic, what if taking magic from the world took them away too?

Faith grinned, "Nah. I've seen the future."

"You've seen this future?"

"Bits of it. My memory has been messed with a ridiculous amount of times. Trust me. Everything is going to be ok. For you too." Diana had shown her flashes of events far into the future. She didn't know the details of everything that happened, but Tara was always part of her family.

"Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

It had taken far too long to make their way out of the school. Faith felt like an eternity had passed. She was intensely relieved to see that Angel's car was waiting for them. She wrapped her jacket tightly around herself, wishing Willow had thought to heal her before she left.

The scene they walked in on was not good. Kennedy was nowhere to be found, Willow and Buffy were hugging each other and bawling uncontrollably.

"B?" Faith moved to the other side of the bed and tried her best to get Buffy's attention while Tara did the same with Willow.

"Faith! You're not dead! I was sure you were dead. Why can't I feel you anymore?" Tears were streaking down Buffy's face and soaking Faith's shirt.

Faith smiled and leaned into Buffy, "nobody is dead, and The First is never going to bother us again."

"What? How?"

"Magic. They killed all the magic." Willow whispered, looking at her hands in complete confusion.

"But…" Buffy frowned for a second and then smiled, "no more magic? No more vampires or demons? Our girls aren't going to have to grow up endlessly fighting evil?"

Faith chuckled, she had been sure this was how Buffy would react. She hadn't quite figured out how she felt about no longer being a slayer, but she knew Buffy would be happy. She felt sorry for the witches and Kennedy. "Nope, they're going to get to be normal girls."

"Everyone needs to clear out, except the parents." The doctor appeared in the doorway. Willow gave Faith a nasty look and pulled herself out of Tara's arms as they both exited the room. The doctor began to examine Buffy and smiled, "looks like it's time! Are you ready?"

Buffy laughed and gripped Faith's arm as tightly as she could, "not at all." Faith was surprised at how little strength the grip had and at the same time, how much it hurt.

"Great, let's get this going." The doctor ignored Buffy, and nurses entered the room.

Eight hours later, Buffy and Faith were each holding one of their two perfectly formed daughters. Tara, Dawn, Giles, and Kara were there and fawning over them.

"What are you going to name them?" Dawn asked, playing with the toes of the one Buffy was holding.

"This is Hope Diana Summers-Lehane." Faith said. They had found out Faith's real mom's name. Deciding to use her name and the name of her watcher.

"And this is Joy Summers-Lehane. Still working on the middle name." Buffy smiled down at the girl in her arms.

The group smiled and cooed at the new life brought into this world. None of them yet speaking about the loss of magic. All seemed to silently agree that this was not the time for such things.


	38. Epilogue

**Buffy**

Buffy sat at her desk, trying desperately to pay attention to the kid sitting across from her. She knew he was just here to get out of class and didn't really have anything important to talk about. Buffy was thinking about tonight. She had just spoken to Faith 20 minutes ago and knew everything was in place. Their girls were about to turn 15 and they had a huge party planned.

She rarely saw anyone from her slayer days anymore. Even Dawn had moved away. None of them saw the point in staying in Sunnydale with no demons to fight. They had considered leaving Sunnydale themselves but had decided to stay. It was their home, so much of their lives were in this town, and they didn't want to leave it behind.

Tara was the only one who had stayed. Willow never forgave any of them for destroying magic. They never saw her after she left the hospital that day. Tara had been immensely helpful to the new parents, moving in with them for the first several years of the girls' lives. Eventually, she found new love in her life, but she remained incredibly close to the ex-slayers. She and Buffy both worked at the school. Tara as a teacher and Buffy as a part-time counselor. Each of them able to finish their education after the war with the First had ended.

Mostly Buffy had been completely happy with her situation. She loved her family and they had made new friends. Friends who had no idea that she was ever a slayer or that magic was once a real thing.

Their lives hadn't been blissfully perfect. There had been disagreements about a wide variety of things. Getting used to their new slayer-less bodies while also being sleep-deprived led to a lot of misunderstandings. It didn't help that they had grown so accustomed to generally knowing how the other felt, that they had forgotten they had to actually tell the other what they were thinking now.

It did not take them very long to adapt to their new situation. Faith had made sure that everyone always knew they were loved, no matter what was going on. Nobody ever left the house or went to bed without knowing that they might fight, or disagree about something, but that didn't mean that they weren't loved.

Every year on the girls' birthday they would get together. Dawn, Giles, Kara, Xander, Anya, along with the potentials and watchers who didn't resent them for destroying magic would all return to Sunnydale. It was always a complicated emotional time for them all. The death of magic and the birth of her daughters. Buffy was the only one who didn't have any negative feelings about what Faith and Tara had done. She understood everyone else's pain though, and she did feel sad for how it affected them.

The boy was still droning on about some girl he liked when she felt it. Something she had never expected to feel again. She perked up and looked around the room, trying to figure out what it was, and then she heard a scream. The boy didn't react to the scream, so she wasn't sure it had really happened. But then she heard another and she knew it had been real.

She ran down the hallway, ignoring the buzzing of the phone in her pocket. The feeling was pulling her in multiple directions and she couldn't figure out which way to go. She turned towards where it was the strongest and saw Joy running down the hallway at full speed, a speed she most certainly should not have been able to achieve.

She reached the girl and wrapped her in an embrace. Not at all understanding what might be happening. Again her phone buzzed in her pocket.

"Mom! What is happening to me?!" Joy was panting, fear and confusion painted on her face.

A few seconds later her other daughter appeared in the hallway and ran towards them. "Hope?"

Hope was panicking, just like Joy was. Buffy could feel the buzz of their energy. Buffy closed her eyes and held her daughters close, realization finally hitting her. She remembered how terrified she felt when she was called, knowing that her girls must be feeling just as scared and confused. At least they would have her and Faith to explain everything to them. They would never be alone in their calling.

Her phone buzzed again and she pulled away enough to answer it.

"B?" Buffy closed her eyes and held her breath at the sound of Faith's voice.

"We'll be home soon."

"I'm so sorry." Faith whispered into the phone and Buffy sighed.

"Don't be sorry. We knew this might happen. It's going to be ok." She took a deep breath and tried to believe what she was saying. "We'll see you soon." She ended the call and walked her girls out of the school.

She found Tara standing in the parking lot before they could reach the car. "Tara?"

Tara turned at the sound of her name, but she looked very confused. Her eyes took in the two teenagers and she nodded in understanding.

"Wanna ride with us?"

Tara nodded again and climbed in. They rode in mostly silence back to Revello drive. Buffy telling them they needed to wait until they were all together before she could answer their questions.

"We're what? You were what? What?" The girls asked an incoherent stream of shocked questions as Buffy and Faith tried to explain what was happening to them.

The elder slayers sighed and tried to remain calm. Neither of them feeling particularly calm at the moment. It was made even more difficult by the steady stream of phone calls and visitors who were already in town for the party. Only some of which were at all aware of what was happening.

Buffy's phone began to ring again, she didn't recognize the number. Normally she would not answer, but she had a feeling they might be hearing from a lot of unexpected people today.

"Hello?"

"Buffy?"

"Willow!" Buffy moved into the dining room to talk privately. They hadn't heard a single word from Willow since that day. They had no idea where she had gone. Tara had been devastated, but after some time began to understand why Willow couldn't forgive her for her decision. "I guess you… can feel what happened?"

Willow laughed a little, "Do you know why?"

Buffy sighed, "the girls. They… they were called."

"Girls?"

"Joy and Hope? Our daughters?"

Willow was silent on the other end of the phone for a long time, Buffy checked to see if the call had dropped. "I just assumed since they were magic…"

"Oh.. I see.." Buffy frowned, she had always hoped that Willow kept tabs on them somehow. Realizing that her best friend didn't even bother to find out that the girls she helped create still existed, stung. "Today is their birthday, they're 15 and apparently slayers now. We're still kind of figuring it all out."

"I'm glad to hear that." Buffy wasn't sure Willow was glad about it at all, though she must have been glad about the return of magic.

"Do you think you'll come back? We would love for you to meet them, you are kinda responsible and now they might believe us about how they were conceived." The girls had never believed that both Buffy and Faith were both their biological parents. They had always assumed it was just a story they had made up.

Willow was quiet again, "maybe. I'm not sure."

Buffy was getting a little exasperated. She had other things to worry about right now. "Well, you are always welcome." Buffy sighed at the silence on the other end of the line, "we'll probably need help getting them trained and prepared to start fighting evil."

"Actually, you might not have to worry about that just yet."

"Oh?"

"Reach out, what do you feel? Do you feel anything remotely dark or evil?"

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to focus, it had been a long time and she was never great at sensing magical beings. Following the energy as best she could, she felt the power of Faith, Joy, Hope, and Tara in the living room. She reached further, reaching into the energy of the earth until she found more signatures. All of them were good and pure, they all felt like her family. "Wow. So you don't think we'll have to fight any time soon?"

"I don't think so, not unless something major changes."

Buffy had never been more relieved, she hadn't had much time to process everything that was happening. Most of her energy had been on her girls and trying to help them understand what was happening to them. She hadn't really had time to even start worrying about the endless fight against evil that was likely coming.

Now that she was feeling energy again, she could feel Faith in her head, and it felt amazing. She was no longer interested in talking to Willow, she had other things on her mind. "Thanks for calling, Willow. Is it OK if we keep in touch?"

Willow sighed, "Look - you don't have to worry about me."

"Worry about you?"

"I'm not going to go evil again, I'm not out for revenge."

"What... what are you talking about?"

"Oh." Willow as quiet again, "the reason I left. It was because I remembered what I did... and what I almost did."

"Shit." Buffy gasped.

"I've had a long time to work through everything. But I had to leave... I couldn't face any of you, after what I had done. I don't even know how you stayed friends with me."

Buffy was still processing the news, these things happened a long time ago, and they didn't even actually happen. "If you remember, then you also remember everything that happened with Faith... so you know forgiveness and second chances are kind of a theme."

"What I did was so much worse than anything she ever did."

"You were more successful at being evil than she was, but you were both manipulated by the First Evil and you both made the most of your second chances."

"You don't know everything I did." Willow's voice was timid, Buffy could barely hear her.

"No, it's true. I don't know." She really didn't want to know either but didn't think saying that would be helpful at the moment. "But I do know that if you want to come back here, you will be welcomed."

"I don't know if I can. I have a life here, and I'm not sure if magic and demon fighting fits into it anymore."

Buffy chuckled, that was something she could definitely relate to. "I get that. Just know that you are welcome, and if you ever need anything, we are here for you."

"You're really not worried about what I might do?"

Buffy sighed, "honestly - I haven't had time to figure out what I'm worried about. Once things settle down, maybe we can have more of a discussion about this? And if you're at all worried, maybe there's something we can do to help you."

"That's fair. Thank you." Willow actually sounded relieved.

"Ok, I gotta go. We'll be in touch." Buffy was still annoyed at Willow's gruffness. It wasn't like it was her fault any of this had happened and shouldn't she be happier now? She ended the call and returned to the living room, deciding she had more important things to focus on.

"Who called, B?"

"Can we talk about it upstairs?"

There was a collective groan from the couch, "we know what that look means."

"Hey! There was no look! And you shouldn't know about these things anyway! Not that there are things to know about." Buffy pouted with her hands on her hips as she tried to recover from the embarrassment.

"Smooth, B." Faith laughed and started to follow Buffy upstairs.

"Tara, do you mind… um... Getting everything set up?"

Tara chuckled, "of course."

The once again slayers ran upstairs and into their room. Buffy immediately turned to pin Faith to the wall as soon as she could. The slayers moaned into each other as they kissed, Faith's legs wrapped around Buffy.

There hadn't been anything lacking in their magic-less sex life. There had been a lot of adjustment, just having two little ones to take care of changed things immensely. They had always taken the time to love each other as much as possible. Nothing could compete with what they were feeling now though.

Increased strength and stamina were certainly nice, but the ability to feel each other through the connection was what mattered. Every touch amplified and compounded, they could direct the other without words, without even having to be fully aware of what they themselves wanted.

They were laying together contentedly. Buffy was letting herself feel Faith completely, their emotions and energies rebounding. It was something she had never expected to feel again, it was the only thing she missed about the world of magic.

A knock at the door took Buffy out of her extremely happy place.

"I'm really sorry to bother you guys… but you need to see this." Tara's voice called from the other side of the door.

"Can't we even get a few minutes to ourselves?" Faith groaned as she started to pull clothes on.

Buffy closed her eyes and frowned, she looked at the clock and laughed. "They gave us two hours."

Faith only laughed herself and threw Buffy's clothes at her.

"So what's the big deal?" Buffy said as they joined everyone in the living room. Many of the guests had arrived, including Giles and Kara. They were all watching a news report. There were strange reports from around the world of teenage girls suddenly showing abnormal strength.

"Fuck." Buffy hissed, she thought it was quiet, but forgot that the ears she was trying to hide from, now had slayer hearing.

"Mom!" Both girls chastised her.

"What's up? Isn't this a good thing?" Faith asked.

"That depends, do you consider thousands of slayers as being something major?" Faith quirked her eyebrow. Buffy dragged her into the other room. "That was Willow who called earlier. She was telling me how she didn't think we'd have to worry about fighting evil anytime soon… unless something major happened."

"Fuck." Faith whispered.

Both senior slayers jumped at the combined shout of "Ma!" From the living room.

END

  
  
  



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